POSTED 8:01 p.m. EST, January 8, 2006

PFT TEN-PACK:  THE WILD CARD ROUND

We'll admit that we've taken a little time off with the whole ten-pack thing.  It actually takes a lot of work . . . and we're actually kind of lazy.

But now that all of the games count again, no motivation is required to prompt us to come up with ten takes from the four games played in the past two days.

1.  Shutout Like A Fox.

The last time the Giants played a home game in the Meadowlands, Panthers coach John Fox was New York's defensive coordinator.  On that day, the Giants pasted the Vikings -- 41 to zip -- for a berth in the Super Bowl.

In the five seasons since, the Giants had played only one postseason game, at San Francisco three years ago.

In the Giants' return to the Meadowlands for a playoff contest, Fox was on the opposing sideline.  And the team coached by Fox pitched another shutout, 23 to nil.

So in the Giants' last two playoff games at the Meadowlands, Fox's teams have won by a combined score of 64-0.

And in the last three total playoff games played in Jersey, including the Jets' 2002 win over the Colts, the winning teams have scored a total of 105 points, and the losers haven't cracked the scoreboard.

Back to the Giants, there's a certain karma, we believe, to the fact that the Giants played so poorly in a home playoff game, given that they picked up an extra home game during the regular season as a result of Hurricane Katrina.  There wasn't much talk about the Giants' bonus game near the end of the season, but the fact that the team only had to pack the bags and go on the road seven times during the regular season easily could have made a difference in at least one game, and one game was the difference between winning the division (and getting a home playoff game), and being a wildcard.

2.  Jags Not Ready For The Playoffs.

We're not prepared to suggest that Jacksonville coach Jack Del Rio could soon find himself out of work, given that there were rumblings prior to the season that it was playoffs or else for the third-year head coach.  But we wouldn't be shocked to start hearing rumors that the coach of the worst 12-4 team in NFL history is in a little hot water.

And deservedly so.  The Jags looked very bad on Saturday night in New England, and thoroughly unprepared for the realities of playoff football.

It really didn't help the Jags that, since upsetting the Bengals and Steelers on back-to-back weekends in October, they played only one of 10 games against a team worth a crap (the Colts on December 11).  The other nine games came against patsies:  the Rams, Texans, Ravens, Titans, Cardinals, Browns, 49ers, Texans, Titans.

And the Jags went 8-1 in those games, against teams with a combined final record of 39-105.

Also, the outcome of the Jaguars' first playoff game since the 1999 AFC championship should send a loud message to the Colts, who faced two tough games this season against the team from Jacksonville.  On Saturday night, the Patriots manhandled Indy's home-and-home rival; thus, that monkey Peyton Manning shook off of his neck bolts during the regular season could be back in a big way, if the Pats and Colts get together in the postseason.

3.  Taylor Won't Be Suspended For Next Week's Game.

One of the biggest questions in the wake of Redskins safety Sean Taylor's ejection for putting a loogie in the face mask of a guy who knows a thing or two about antisocial behavior, Bucs running back Michael "Bumper Cars" Pittman, is whether the league will suspend Taylor for next week's showdown against the Seahawks.

Though most think it's unlikely that the league would force Taylor out of a divisional playoff game, no one (to our knowledge) has pointed to the best piece of evidence in support of the conclusion that Taylor will play.

In a playoff game against the Lions seven years ago, Redskins offensive lineman Tre' Johnson made contact with an official during a fight.  Johnson was suspended for one game.  But the suspension applied to the first game of the following regular season, not to the next playoff game.

So look for the league to do the same thing here, if the ultimate decision is to suspend Taylor for doing something that plenty of women across the country would love to do to Pittman.

4.  Why Wasn't Taz Ejected, Too?

We'd love to know where the line is as to unsportsmanlike conduct resulting in an ejection.  In the case of Redskins safety Sean Taylor, spitting in the face of an opponent was enough to get him booted.  In the case of Steelers safety Troy Polamalu, who blew a gasket after a play in the second quarter of Sunday's game at Cincy and thrust the ball toward a Bengals player, a flag was thrown onto the field -- but Polamalu was not thrown out of the game.

So why didn't the Tasmanian Devil not get pitched from the game under circumstances arguably similar to those that resulted in the ejection of the Tasmanian Turd? 

Must bodily fluids be involved in the unsportsmanlike conduct? 

And if throwing a punch can get a guy kicked out of a game, why doesn't throwing a football at a guy trigger the same result?

We think the explanation here is that the offending player's general reputation drives the inherently discretionary decision as to whether he get ejected.  Taylor is regarded as a punk and a thug, and Polamalu isn't.

We're not saying that Polamalu wouldn't have been kicked out of the game if he had been caught spitting in the face of a Bengals player.  But we have a feeling that Taylor likewise would have been pitched for throwing a ball at an opponent (or, as the case may be, for pulling a gun on him).

5.  Brokeback Broadcast Booth.

A few weeks back, we poked a little fun at the decision of ABC's Al Michaels to wear a scarf over his suit jacket in the relative warmth and comfort of the broadcast booth.  Specifically, we suggested that, if Michaels is moved to break out that combination in the future, he should merely paint his fingernails pink and write "It's Raining Men" in lipstick on his forehead.

But there was Michaels again on Saturday night, with a scarf draped over his coat-and-tie attire.  And this time he wasn't alone; "partner" John Madden also was wearing over his own jacket a scarf that was roughly the length of an entire roll of toilet paper.

We're not suggesting that either man is, you know, a fruitcake.  But if the Madden Cruiser's a-rockin', we sure as hell don't plan to go a-knockin'.

6.  Berman Has The Steve Young Disease.

We've griped on several occasions this season regarding Steve Young's propensity to use ten-dollar words during ESPN's pregame show, which happens roughly as often as he nuzzles the crotch of Falcons quarterback Michael Vick.

It now appears that Steve's "I'm smarter that everyone" tendencies have rubbed off on some of his partners, specifically including Chris Berman, who uttered the word "neophyte" on Sunday.

So what does "neophyte" mean, Coach Madden?

"I think it's a guy who paints his fingernails pink and writes 'It's Raining Men' on his forehead with lipstick."

Or who wears a scarf over his clothes while indoors.

7.  Pats Got Their Wish.

There were rampant rumors in league circles this week that the Patriots deliberately blew their regular-season finale against the Dolphins so that they would host the Jaguars, not the Steelers, in the first round of the playoffs. 

Conspiracy theorists point to two things -- the decision to allow Doug Flutie to attempt a drop kick for a key extra point and Matt Cassel's overthrown attempt on what would have been a game-tying two-point conversion with no time remaining.

As to Flutie's extra-point try, a miss would have left the Pats down by six points with a little more than six minutes to play, and the field goal that the Fins picked up later in the quarter would have stretched the lead to nine -- too much to be caught with only one score. 

As to Cassel's incompletion, some think he was told to throw the ball away, in order to ensure that the Pats would face an easier opponent in the wild card round.  Obviously, there's no way to prove that, and we're not saying that the speculation is true.  But there are league insiders who definitely believe that that's what occurred.

Given the differences in the performance of the Jaguars and the Steelers over the weekend, we also think it was a smart move, if it is indeed what occurred.

8.  Whisenhunt Earns A Few Interviews.

Even though his predecessor is struggling in Buffalo as the head coach, Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt likely got himself a extra few sit-downs with a well-designed gadget play that put the Steelers up by 11 points late in the third quarter in Cincinnati.  It started with a direct snap to receiver Antwaan Randle El.  The former Indiana quarterback ran to the right and then threw a lateral across the field to quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who then fired a touchdown pass to a wide open Cedrick Wilson.

Whisenhunt previously had been mentioned as a possible candidate in Houston, Green Bay, and St. Louis.  Other teams with vacancies now could be interested, given the manner in which the Steelers offense picked apart an otherwise solid Cincy defense.  The continuation of the Steelers' season could hurt Whisenhunt's chances, however, since no assistant coach can be hired until his current team is done.

And with offensive line coach Russ Grimm on the short list in Detroit, there's a chance that two members of the Steelers' offensive staff could be moving on as head coaches in 2006.

9.  Bengals Need to Keep Kitna.

As the Bengals' dream season disintegrated into a full-blown nightmare on Sunday, backup quarterback Jon Kitna got a chance to show that he can still play starting quarterback in the NFL.  With Kitna poised to become a free agent in March, his name could pop up on the list of teams looking for some new blood at the position (however, Kitna's second-half showing was far less impressive than his play in the first two quarters).

But with Carson Palmer out of action for several months with a torn ACL, the Bengals need to have Kitna around to lead the offense through offseason workouts, and to possibly take the reins in training camp and during the preseason, if Palmer isn't ready to go.

And that's where Palmer's relatively cap friendly contract could help the team find a way to pay Kitna.  Still, if Kitna decides that he wants to be "the guy" somewhere else, he'll likely have a chance to do so -- by virtue of the very injury that underscored his importance to the Bengals.

10.  Caliendo Could Use A Salad Or Two.

We love Frank Caliendo's segments on FOX's pregame shows, specifically his impressions.  But the thing that makes his takes on John Madden and Andy Rooney so good is the same thing that makes his imitations of less, um, ample men like Robert DeNiro and George Bush harder to, well, stomach.

Frank, you see, is a large man.  Nothing wrong with that.  But the whole time we were watching him on Sunday as DeNiro, we were distracted by the fact that Caliendo looks nothing like him. 

We know that plenty of guys have made plenty of money -- enabling them to buy plenty of cheeseburgers -- by sporting some extra chrome in the under belly and some extra junk in the trunk.  John Belushi, John Goodman, Chris Farley, Horatio Sanz, etc., were laughing all the way to the deli (and/or the morgue) by virtue of the comedic value of being big.  

But Frank doesn't need to be fat to be funny.  And if he chooses to stay that way, we recommend that he stick to the imitations of guys of similar girth.   

CBS reports that Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer has a torn ACL, and is done for the season.

Palmer will have surgery at some point in the future, and the team says that it hopes he will be ready for training camp.

But being ready for training camp no longer is enough in the NFL.  Much of the offense is installed during the burgeoning offseason program, and Palmer definitely will be behind schedule even if he's available when the teams put the pads on in late July.

Citing sources close to Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, CBS reports that Palmer believes he has two torn knee ligaments, as a result of a hit taken to his left knee on Cincinnati's second play from scrimmage.

An MRI has been conducted to determine the extent of the injury.

Before halftime, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis told Bonnie Bernstein of CBS that the team will need to play without Palmer for the rest of the day.

Bonnie Bernstein of CBS reports that Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer is undergoing an MRI on his left knee at Paul Brown Stadium, and that Palmer's status will be known early in the third quarter.  Doctors will review the MRI at halftime, and make a decision as to whether he can play.

Meanwhile, Bernstein reports that receiver Chris Henry will not be back on Sunday, with a right knee injury suffered on the same play that Palmer went down.

On the heels of a 23-0 loss to the Carolina Panters, some Giants players believe that receiver Plaxico Burress quit on the team during the embarrassing shutout in front of the home crowd.

"He was playing half-assed like a big pussy," we heard from one source.

It's not the first time the locker room sentiment was that Burress, a free-agent pickup from the Steelers, shut it down on the field.  In a loss to the Redskins a couple of weeks back, the thinking was that both Burress and tight end Jeremy Shockey gave up on the team.

BENGALS LOSE TWO ON ONE PLAY

Pinned in their own end of the field on their first possession of the game following a Steelers punt, the Bengals lost two key offensive players on a 66-yard pass from Carson Palmer to Chris Henry.

Specifically, they lost Palmer and Henry -- both with knee injuries.

Palmer suffered a left knee injury when hit after the throw by Steelers defensive lineman Kimo von Oelhoffen, who was noticeably upset to see Palmer writhing in pain on the field.

Henry suffered a right knee injury on the catch and run.  He stayed on the field, but collapsed several plays later.

Henry's return, per CBS' Bonnie Bernstein, is doubtful.  Palmer is being evaluated in the locker room after being taken off the field on a cart.  He was replaced by former starter Jon Kitna, who will be an unrestricted free agent after the season and who could have a chance to play his way into a starting job elsewhere if he can get it done in Palmer's absence.

Conventional wisdom throughout the league is that someone will offer receiver Terrell Owens a modest contract that permits him to cash in via incentive payments.

Absent an extension to the Collective Bargaining Agreement, however, it will be impossible for any team to use this device without holding back enough cap room to satisfy the incentives, if they are earned.

Because 2007 will be an uncapped year, all incentives immediately count against the cap when earned, even the so-called "not likely to be earned" incentives, which otherwise would count against the 2007 uncapped year if earned in 2006. 

As a result, any team that signs Owens to an incentive-heavy deal will be required to have on hand the corresponding cap space, even if Owens never meets the threshold for the payment.

Let's assume, for example, that Owens gets $1 million in salary and up to $5 million in not likely to be earned incentives.  In any other year, the team would need only $1 million in cap space in order to do the deal.  Any incentive payments would then count against the following year's cap.

Look for teams, then, to shy away from an incentive-laden deal when talking with T.O., and to instead explore other devices (such as a roster bonus paid on a weekly basis) to protect against a recurrence of Owens' turdish behavior.

CHARGERS TALKED ABOUT FIRING SCHOTTENHEIMER

On December 29, we floated the question of whether Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer might get fired in San Diego, due to the fact that his team missed the playoffs and given an ongoing feud between Marty and G.M. A.J. Smith.

As it turns out, we were onto something. 

Per FOX's Jay Glazer, Smith met with ownership to discuss Marty's status.  Smith wanted to fire Schottenheimer.  In the end, Dean Spanos decided that Marty would stay put.

The meeting came in the wake of a report that Schottenheimer went with his starters in the regular season finale that resulted in a serious shoulder injury for starting quarterback Drew Brees because Marty would have earned a significant bonus in his contract if he had gotten to 10 wins.  If true, it's likely that the strained relationship between Smith and Schottenheimer further deteriorated as the franchise now tries to figure out whether to use the franchise tag again on a guy who, given his injury, would sign the tender right away, guaranteeing himself nearly $10 million in salary for 2006.

And we wonder whether Smith has leaked the news in order to entice Jets G.M. Terry Bradway to come calling regarding Schottenheimer's availability for the job that Herm Edwards recently vacated.  Smith already has stuck it to one New York team in connection with the Eli Manning trade; he'd surely like to try it again by getting draft picks from the Jets for a head coach he'd like to poop-can anyway.

SUNDAY ONE-LINERS

Jason Whitlock of The Kansas City Star has some free advice for new Chiefs coach Herm Edwards (and Edwards likely will have some free advice for Whitlock -- "lay off the bacon and biscuits").

The Saints have contacted Fresno State coach Pat Hill regarding their coaching vacancy (way to aim high, Mr. Benson).

Pats LB Willie McGinest set a playoff record with 4.5 sacks against Jaguars quarterbacks Byron "Fat Albert" Leftwich and David "Dumb Donald" Garrard.

Here's a look at the possible tinkerings as to the Falcons roster in 2006.

Bucs FB Mike Alstott has to decide whether to come back for year 10.

Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer says that a December speeding ticket was the trigger of the decision to dump Marcus Vick -- and Beamer claims that he didn't know about the ticket before the Gator Bowl.

The mother of Marcus Vick says that her son "is going to show everybody that he's not the person a lot of people claim he is."  (Hey, at least he hasn't been sued yet for passing herpes to a girlfriend.)

The Bears Lovie Smith is the Coach of the Year.

Judd Zulgad of The Minneapolis Star Tribune looks at the process that resulting in the hiring of new Vikings coach Brad Childress.

Jim Hueber will coach the offensive line in Minnesota, and Pat Morris will coach the defensive line.

Bucs OL Kenyatta Walker thinks that he has "earned" a long-term contract.

The Fins worked out QB Tim Couch on Friday (hey, guys -- the goal is to improve at the position).

John McClain of The Houston Chronicle says that Gary Kubiak is the favorite to become the Texans new head coach.

McClain also says that Mort's report that the Texans plan to draft Reggie Bush is off the mark, because the Texans haven't even started their evaluation of Texas QB Vince Young.

Rams coach Mike Martz says that he's either going to be a head coach or take the year off; Raiders owner Al Davis is interested, but he's concerned about Martz's health issues.

Dick Vermeil isn't interested in a return to St. Louis.

The Indianapolis media is realizing that the Pats won't be an automatic win for the Colts.

Bob Glauber says that this could be Tony Dungy's last year of coaching (which based on some of Glauber's past work could mean that Dungy has another 20 years in him).

Mike Sherman is on the list in New York, but the first interview goes to former Saints coach Jim Haslett.

Former Panthers LB Mark Fields faces DUI and six other criminal charges.

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that the Chiefs and coach Herm Edwards have reached a verbal agreement for Edwards to take over the team.

Per Mortensen, Edwards will receive $12 million over four years, for an average annual salary of $3 million.

It's a significant raise for Edwards, who was making roughly $2 million per year to coach the Jets.

BRADWAY WAS IN A TOUGH SPOT

As some league insiders believe that Jets G.M. Terry Bradway's job could be in jeopardy after the Jets saw coach Herm Edwards walk away with only a fourth-round draft choice as compensation, Bradway really didn't have many options other than to let a guy who didn't want to be there leave.

We're told that Edwards desperately wanted out.  Apparently, his wife never warmed up to New York, and did not wish to stay any longer.

And Herm, we're told, was telling everyone (privately) that he wanted out.  Publicly, he said he intended to stay -- likely to finagle a buyout if the team would decide independently to cut him loose after a 4-12 season fueled in large part by the mismanagement of quarterback Chad Pennington's shoulder injury in 2004.

So given that Edwards wanted to leave, the fact that the Jets got anything by way of compensation is a bonus.

Then again, we think that the Chiefs' flirtations with Edwards made it easier for him to decide that he wants out.  Thus, we continue to believe that the league should establish a minimum level of compensation that should be sent from the coach's new team to the coach's old team whenever anything like this happens.

MORT STILL INSISTS TEXANS WILL TAKE BUSH

On Saturday, ESPN's Chris Mortensen said that the Texans will take USC tailback Reggie Bush with the No. 1 pick in the draft.  In response, we explained that it's way to early for the team to make a final decision.

On Sunday, Mort reiterated his report, adding something like "no matter what anyone says," to his claim that the Texans will pluck Bush.

We're not saying there's no way it will happen.  We're only saying that too many other things can happen between now and late April to permit this report to be made in such absolute terms. 

First, the team doesn't have a head coach yet.  We'd like to think the guy they hire will have some say in what might happen, unless he's the kind of sackless milquetoast who won't be able to take the team to the promised land even with Bush on the roster.

Second, what if Bush runs a 4.6 at the Combine or at his private workout?  Or what if he gets hurt, either while working out or while wrestling with a friend near a window?

Or what if Vince Young dramatically improves his speed prior to his own workout?

Or what if some other guy on whom the media isn't presently focusing has a Mike Mamula-type workout that rockets him to the top of the board?

At a minimum, we think that Mort should add to his report the reality that there's now way this thing can be set in stone on January 8, with the draft more than three months away.  Maybe the Texans would indeed take Bush if the draft was today.  But things can -- and do -- change from the end of the season through the day the names are called, sometimes dramatically.

So, Mort -- we love what you do, but we think you're off the mark on this one.

WE LIKE THE GIANTS, BENGALS TODAY

On Saturday, we were convinced that the 'Skins and Patriots would prevail in their respective first-round playoff games.  We're not quire sure why we didn't say so in this here space, and we don't really expect anyone to believe us now.

So let's look at the other two wild card games, even though we're less certain about the Sunday games than we were about the Saturday duo.

First, we think the Giants will knock off the Panthers in the early contest.  Carolina will focus on Tiki Barber, opening up the passing game for Eli Manning, who'll find plenty of open guys.  And despite a banged-up linebacking corps, the Giants defense is strong enough to hold the Panthers offense in check.  New York wins, 21-16.

In the second game, we were convinced a couple of weeks ago that the Steelers would win the looming rubber match in Cincy.  But too many other people think that way too, and we believe that the resulting jolt of disrespect is all that coach Marvin Lewis will need to get his guys ready to knock off the Steelers.

Three point underdog at home to the team they beat a month ago on the road?  Even we could get the 53 guys in the Bengals locker room lathered up with that one.

Then again, the Bengals have only themselves to blame for contributing to the perception that they are vulnerable.  In the wake of beating the Steelers at Heinz Field, the Bengals acted as if they'd secured the division title not for 2005, but for each year of the next decade.  To make matters worse, receiver Chad Johnson boldly predicted a Super Bowl appearance, and 40 points per game the rest of the way.

Since then, the Bengals are 2-2, with a narrow win over the Browns, a 41-point showing against the Lions, and then two straight losses in which they gave up 37 points in each game.

So it's no surprise that the Steelers, who have manhandled the Bears, Vikings, Browns, and Lions since losing to Cincy, is perceived as the favorite.

Still, we now think that it's just enough of a slap to wake up the Bengals and lead them to their first playoff win in 15 years.  Cincinnati wins, 27-20.

A league source tells us that Texas quarterback Vince Young definitely is entering the NFL draft. 

Young also is believed either to have picked an agent or to have narrowed the field of potential representatives.  One name we're hearing in this regard is Marvin Demoff.

Before the Rose Bowl, Young was reportedly leaning toward staying with the Longhorns for his senior season.  But after a performance for the ages, the oversized sidearmer has realized that the time has come to get paid for his efforts.

Young is the first underclassman in the Mack Brown era to leave Texas early.  Last month, one league insider joked to us that Young was unlikely to leave for the NFL, because it would mean that he would have to take a pay cut.

No one in Texas should be upset about Young's decision.  He delivered on a national championship, and he gave them all a set of memories that can never be taken away. 

And the NFL team that should be happiest to hear the news in this regard is the Tennessee Titans, who are now guaranteed to get Young or USC tailback Reggie Bush or USC quarterback Matt Leinart at the third spot in the draft.

SKINS SET "RECORD"

With their first playoff win since 1999, the Redskins established an NFL record for the least total yards in a postseason game by the winning team.

Officially, the 'Skins earned 120 total stripes, including a pathetic 25 net passing yards.

But the defense got it done for the Redskins, who will be a dangerous team moving forward.  After all, the team whose "record" the Redskins broke on Saturday -- the 2000 Baltimore Ravens -- merely went on to win the Super Bowl.

Next, the Redskins go to Seattle.  The Seahawks had a heckuva time with two other NFC East teams, the Cowboys and Giants, at Qwest Field this season.  And one of Seattle's three losses this season came against the Redskins, on October 2 in D.C.

Call us crazy (again), but we like the Redskins to go on the road (again) and to beat the 'Hawks (again).

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that the Houston Texans will select USC running back Reggie Bush with the No. 1 overall pick in the draft, even if Texas quarterback Vince Young, a Houston native, gives up his final year of eligibility and enters the NFL draft.

Um, the last time we checked, the draft is in late April.  The calendar currently says early January.  The Combine hasn't been conducted yet.  The individual workouts haven't occurred.

And the Texans don't have a head coach.

So we're to believe that they've already made a final decision as to the No. 1 overall pick?

In our view, the Texans are merely getting out the word that they want Bush in order to eventually smoke out trade partners.  Also, part of the game here might be to get Young to give up some dollars to land in the town where it makes the most sense.  The Texans are, after all, free to negotiate simultaneously with Bush, Leinart, and Young in search of the most cap-friendly deal.

Remember this -- take everything that you hear in the months and weeks prior to the draft with a grain of salt.  Everyone is lying, and it's virtually impossible to know what a team is really going to do with a pick until the pick is used.

Come February, however, the likelihood of the Texans taking Bush will increase if the team exercises its $8 million option on current quarterback David Carr.  Until then, look for the Texans to tell a few tall tales in the hopes of working out their best financial packages possible. 

Okay, the team hasn't said it.  And they never will.  But it's now becoming increasingly obvious that, at the same time guys like G.M. Ted Thompson say all the right things regarding quarterback Brett Favre, the team is sending off vibrations suggesting that the time has come for him to walk away.

Dumping head coach Mike Sherman was the first message, especially since Favre suggested during the season that the presence of Sherman would be a factor in his possible return. 

Also, we reported after coach Steve Mariucci was fired by the Lions that Favre privately had said that he'd like to see his former position coach (from 1992 to 1995) return to the team as the head coach, if Sherman goes.

Favre's agent essentially has confirmed these rumors by openly politicking for Mooch to get the job in Green Bay. 

"I think that would have a huge determination on Brett's decision," Bus Cook told WTMJ-TV in Milwaukee.  "They do enjoy a special relationship."

But Mooch isn't on the list of eight candidates for the job. 

Eight names, and Favre's preferred choice isn't on the list.

Maybe Thompson instead should hang a banner over Main Street that says, "Thanks for the Years of Loyal Service, Brett -- Now Get the Hell Out."

That's the import, folks.  Thompson doesn't want the guy that Brett wants; thus, Thompson doesn't want Brett.

So the real question is whether Brett gets mad enough about the diss to continue his career in another NFL city.  The mere possibility of seeing No. 4 in a different helmet is sacrilege for Cheeseheads, but it's a possibility that they all need to begin pondering.

We'd previously floated the possibility of Brett spending a year with the Saints, as the team returns for 2006 to Louisiana, which is a deep out pattern from his home town of Kiln, Mississippi.  But now let's look at this a bit more realistically.

First, it would have to be a team that needs a starter.  Second, the team would have to be willing to put Brett at the top of the depth chart, and essentially leave him there.

Next, the team would have to be otherwise set with receivers, offensive line, running game, and defense (which leaves out the Saints).  Basically, Favre would have to be the final piece of a puzzle that otherwise is in position to contend for a championship.

As we scan the list of 32 NFL teams, we see only one that potentially meets those criteria.  And it's the team that enjoyed the services of the last great quarterback who didn't win a Super Bowl -- Dan Marino.

Yep.  We think it could work for Favre in Miami.  Sign him to a two-year deal, plug him into the offense, let him do his thing, structure an attack around his strengths.

At a time when Fins fans are thinking big when it comes to getting a new quarterback, we think they should start thinking Brett.  Because, as we see it, Favre is one of the few guys who could give the team a huge boost at the position, possibly enabling the team to play for the championship in its home stadium in 2006, and allowing Favre to ride off into the sunset a winner, not slink away as a tired and beaten old man.

There's growing talk in league circles that, when the dust settles in St. Louis, the head coach of the Rams will be Giants defensive coordinator Tim Lewis.

Much of this depends, of course, on how deep into the playoffs the Giants advance.  In the new NFL, where there is no down time and decisions regarding the roster and the draft are being made continuously, it's hard to wait for a candidate who might not be available until early February.

Last year, the Browns stayed put for Pats coordinator Romeo Crennel.  But that's the exception to the rule.  In the Rams' case, it remains to be seen whether, if they settle on Lewis, they'll sit still possibly until the Super Bowl to get him.

If Lewis lands in the job, we're told that he'll gut the Rams defense.  The unit has underachieved for years, with some mild improvement during Lovie Smith's tenure as coordinator. 

As Miami offensive coordinator Scott Linehan draws consideration for a head coaching job, it wasn't too long ago that we heard rumors that Fins coach Nick Saban was fed up with his performance, and might fire him after only one year on the job.

But then the Fins won six in a row.  So Linehan had figured it out, right?

Wrong, we hear.  The perception in league circles is that the defense got better because Saban -- a defensive-minded coach -- got more involved in the offensive attack.

Given that Linehan didn't even get an interview for the head coaching position in Minnesota, where he served as the coordinator for three seasons, it makes us wonder whether Linehan really is the next Boy Wonder in NFL coaching circles. 

Early in the 2005 season, when the Vikings were underachieving as usual and Mike Tice's status was in serious question, there were rampant rumors of the Vikes eyeing a Philly two-fer of V.P. of player personnel Tom Heckert and offensive coordinator Brad Childress.

We're now hearing that, even as the Vikings found themselves in the midst of a six-game winning streak, the plan still was that, after the season ended, the Vikes would pursue Heckert and Childress.

A two-game losing streak that knocked the team out of playoff contention made it easier for new owner Zygi Wilf to follow through on the plan to punt the Meathead.  And Wilf wasted no time, letting Tice know that his contract would not be renewed within an hour after the season-ending win over the Bears' JV team.

The prompt pursuit of Heckert was thwarted by a big raise and a promotion to G.M.  But Childress remained fair game, and the Vikings made immediate arrangements to get him into town.

And the difference between firing Tice on Sunday night and Monday morning could have been the difference in getting Childress.  The Packers, for example, waited until Monday morning to part ways with Mike Sherman.  The Packers also wanted to interview Childress, who was thought to be the leading candidate in Green Bay. 

But Childress never got there.  Persuaded to stay put in Minny while Wilf interviewed other people (i.e., complied with the Rooney Rule), Childress didn't interview with the Packers -- and less than four days after the last game was played, Childress was the guy.

(Memo to all NFL owners -- maybe it's time to replace that whole "Black Monday" thing with "Black Late Afternoon/Early Sunday Evening.")

Childress will bring to the team an element of discipline and accountability that it hasn't had since Bud Grant patrolled the sidelines with steely eyes buried in an expressionless face.

"The most important thing to me is that people do the right thing," Childress said on Friday.  "My kids have heard this speech from me several times.  If it is good for you and it is right, do it with great vigor and great enthusiasm.  If it is bad for you, you had better jump away from it like it is hot lava, and you had better head in the other direction. I just expect guys to do the right thing."

Grant, who met with Childress and gave him a thumb's up, also likes what he heard on Friday.

"I think he knows the situation here," Grant said, "and I think he used the right words."

Of course, using the right words sometimes requires using some colorful words.  We're told that Childress uttered what would have been the line of the year, if anyone had known about it at the time, during his testimony in the Terrell Owens arbitration hearing in November.

While being pressed by T.O.'s lawyers on the whos, whats, wheres, and whys regarding the events that culminated in the suspension of Owens, Childress summed it up succinctly.

"The Eagles don't have a lot of patience for assholes."

We have a feeling that the Childress-led Vikings won't, either.  And this dynamic, mixed with the talent on the roster, the cap room on the board, the money in Wilf's pocket, and his commitment to spending it, could help the team finally capture that trophy that Grant had them playing for on four occasions in the 1970s.

VICK TO TURN PRO

Permanently dismissed by the Virginia Tech football program, quarterback Marcus Vick has opted to declare himself eligible for the NFL draft.

Said Vick:  "It's not a big deal.  I'll just move on to the next level, baby."

Thanks for the news flash, baby.  We hope you won't spend all your signing bonus in one place, baby.  Because you're not going to get nearly the same amount of money that your big brother Ron Mexico received five years ago, baby.

Vick's quote -- "I'll just move on to the next level, baby" -- is all the proof that we'd need to conclude that he doesn't get it, and never will.  Sure, someone will burn a draft pick on him because they'll think that they're capable of putting enough polish on a turd to make it shine, and shine this turd might, but only for a brief period of time. 

If a guy can't get through his college career without being suspended for a whole season and then kicked off of the team, how is he going to handle the more significant pressures, demands, and temptations of life in the NFL?

Our guess is that big brother Mike will do something to spare Marcus the embarrassment of being a second-day pick, or of not being drafted at all.  the elder Vick already has Falcons owner Arthur Blank wrapped around his . . . finger.  If Michael says he wants Marcus to be taken with a third-round pick after the team (at Michael's request) trades Matt Schaub, it will happen.

And since Blank already has determined that selling tickets and merchandise with Vick means more than winning games, our guess is that Blank will easily be able to justify a decision that possibly could extend the Vick dynasty in Atlanta deep into the next decade.

CARROLL IS A HYPOCRITE

At a time when USC coach Pete Carroll is trying to figure out which of his guys will leave school early for the NFL draft, we're surprised that he has the time or the inclination to assess the chances of a guy who doesn't play for him.

But that didn't stop Caroll on Friday, when he opined that Texas quarterback Vince Young should give up his final year of eligibility and declare for the April selection meeting.

"Vince Young's stock couldn't go higher," Carroll said.

Gee.  We wonder whether Carroll made that same statement a year ago to his own quarterback with one year left at the time, Matt Leinart.  Like Young, Leinart had just won a national title.  Unlike Young, Leinart also had the Heisman tucked under his arm.

And Leinart clearly would have been the No. 1 overall pick of the 49ers in 2005.  Alex Smith?  Please.  Leinart would have been the guy, no question.

So does anyone think that Carroll told Leinart that it was a no-brainer to leave with his draft stock at its pinnacle?  Hell no.

"I feel we have done all we could to give him all the information, to give him both sides," Carroll said after Leinart announced in 2005 his intention to return for his final year of eligibility, even though the educational component of his time in college was essentially over (but for that ballroom dancing class).

And we now wonder whether Pete will help make up some of the $10 million or more difference in total contract value that Leinart will realize due to the fact that he waited a year.  (Matt, don't hold your breath while doing the tango.)

Heck, if anything, Carroll is making Leinart's financial fate even worse by arguing that Young -- who'd likely be taken before Leinart -- should leave school early.

So on Leinart's behalf -- thanks for nothing, Pete. 

GRAY EVENTUALLY WILL GET THE AX

Although the initial purge of Bills defensive assistants didn't claim defensive coordinator Jerry Gray, we're hearing that the team is waiting to see whether he lands the Texans' coaching job before getting rid of him.

But get rid of him the Bills will.  And it's hardly a surprise.  How can the team poop-can the defensive line coach, the linebackers coach, and the defensive backs coach and then keep the defensive coordinator?

Besides, does anyone really think Gray will get hired as the head coach of the Texans?  We know there are more jobs open than "A" list candidates to fill them, but Gray wouldn't even be on the "D" list in our book.

SATURDAY ONE-LINERS

Technically, the Tuna signed a new two-year deal to replace the final year of his original four-year contract -- he's now signed through 2007; he'll make $5 million a year.

Gary Kubiak sure sounds like he'll eventually be coaching the Texans.

Shaun Alexander is the offensive player of the year (we thought Fred Smoot was a lock for that one).

The Jags are excited for their looming ass-whupping in New England.

Bob Glauber claims to have some inside info as to what went down with the Jets and Herm Edwards, but we're still having a hard time believing anything Glauber writes after his blatant guesswork on the T.O. arbitration ruling.

UCLA RB Maurice Drew is expected to declare himself eligible for the NFL draft.

Rich Cimini of The New York Daily News lists the possible candidates to replace Herm Edwards.

N.C. State LB Stephen Tulloch is leaving school early for the draft.

Vikings coach Brad Childress will get $11 million over five years, with incentives.

Bowling Green QB Omar Jacobs is entering the draft.

Said Bears LB Brian Urlacher after winning the defensive player of the year award:  "All this stuff is great, good, whoop de doo.  But I want that Super Bowl ring.  I feel we have a really good chance to do it this year."

Oregon DT Haloti Ngata is heading to the NFL.

Washington State WR Jason Hill will return for his senior season.

Virginia Tech DB Aaron Rouse is coming back next year, due in large part to the leadership void created by the dismissal of QB Marcus Vick.

Vikings coach Brad Childress says that QB Daunte Culpepper is the starter, period.

Vikings owner Zygi Wilf has abandoned the G.M. structure, but still intends to hire a personnel chief.

Former Minnesota offensive coordinator-offensive line coach Steve Loney is heading to Arizona.

There was talk that the brother of NFL QB Michael Vick would transfer to Georgia Southern; instead, the son of NFL info guy Chris Mortensen is heading to the I-AA school.

Old friends Carson Palmer and the Tasmanian Devil will meet again on Sunday in Cincinnati.

Here's an interesting look at the Redskins' Cooley.

The Eagles have named Marty Mornhinweg the team's offensive coordinator.

The Rams have interviewed Ron Rivera and Scott Linehan.

Despite speculation that he might be looking for greener pastures and/or a rocking chair, Cowboys coach Bill Parcells is staying with the team in 2006.  The Associated Press reports that the Cowboys have signed Parcells through 2007.  

The AP characterizes the move as a "two-year extension," but it really isn't.  It's a one-year extension of the four-year deal signed by Parcells when he was hired in 2003.

And the timing of the move probably was no coincidence.  Based on rumors and reports we've heard and seen, Parcells likely was using talk of retirement to leverage owner Jerry Jones into sweetening the contract offer that had been on the table.  A league source tells us that there was rampant speculation on Friday afternoon in league circles that Parcells would try to return to the Jets, given Herm Edwards' departure.  The thinking wasn't that Parcells genuinely intended to leave, but that he wanted to squeeze Jones into upping the offer.

If so, it worked.  On the same day that the Jets job opened up, Parcells opted to stay put.

We'll bet that he got whatever terms he was looking for, or pretty damn close to it. 

PLENTY OF BLAME IN EDWARDS FIASCO

With former Jets coach Herm Edwards on his way to becoming the next coach of the Kansas Chiefs, we think that every party in this farce deserves to take a big bite of a steaming shiitake sandwich.

For Edwards, it's obvious that his public statements regarding his desire to remain with the Jets were lies.  Look, we know there's no good way to deal with pointed press conference questions regarding whether a guy wants to keep the job he has, but there's got to be a way to handle the question without telling a bald-faced falsehood.

Word got out early in the season that Edwards wanted out of New York.  Who do you think initiated it?  The Jets?  

Edwards knew exactly what he was doing; he poisoned the well in New York so that, when the Chiefs came calling, the Jets would be ready to take anything they could get as compensation for a guy who didn't want to be there.

The Jets come out of this one looking like wimps, accepting a mere fourth-round pick for a guy who wanted out because another team wanted him.  And although the evidence (more on that later) points to a conclusion that the flirtation between the Chiefs and Edwards didn't just begin this week, the Jets most likely will not file tampering charges.

In the real world, this kind of crap is met with lawsuits alleging tortious interference with contractual relations.  Yours truly handled a case like that several years back, and $540,000 later the company that pilfered a doctor who was under contract with another medical practice had learned a valuable lesson.

Although the NFL clubs likely have signed agreements waiving their rights to sue other teams in court for this kind of stuff, there's still a vehicle available to the Jets, if they want to send a message to the Chiefs and any other team who might be inclined in the future to swipe their head coach.  

And it might not be so hard to prove that tampering occurred.  By ordering up phone records and poring over hard drives, the Jets might very well learn that there were plenty of communications between Edwards and Chiefs G.M. Carl Peterson.

On that topic, our bullcrap detector keeps coming back to rumors of a December 16 meeting between Peterson and Edwards in New York, when the Chiefs were in town to face the Giants on Saturday.  Peterson denied meeting with Edwards, claiming that Edwards and the Jets were already in Miami.  But they weren't, as we later learned.

As to the Chiefs, we think that the organization should be ashamed of its tactics when it comes to hiring head coaches.  The 32 NFL teams are business partners, and although they compete on the playing field there are lines that should not be crossed.  But the Chiefs now have filled two straight coaching vacancies by courting guys who were under contract with other organizations.  In 2001, the Chiefs hired Dick Vermeil while Vermeil was still a consultant to the Rams.  Now, the Chiefs have scalped Edwards from the Jets.  

To make matters worse, Peterson and the Chiefs nickel-and-dimed the Jets, confident that the Jets would either cave in or fire Herm, after contributing to the creation of a situation in New York in which Edwards simply couldn't have continued. 

Since the NFL permits head coaches to be traded for draft picks, we think that the league should impose mandatory minimum compensation requirements, in order to prevent the very situation that arose in New York.  

The league also should be willing to launch tampering investigations even without charges being filed by the team that might have been screwed.  In this case, multiple league insiders are convinced that something was going on between the Chiefs and Edwards.  One source told us that, in his opinion, the league should smack the Chiefs with a big fine -- and strip their first-round draft pick.

BILLS PULL TRIGGER ON ASSISTANT COACHES

A day after we reported on rumors that the Bills were cleaning out their defensive coaching staff, the team dumped defensive line coach Tim Krumrie, linebackers coach Don Blackmon, and defensive backs coach Steve Szabo.

Defensive coordinator Jerry Gray has not yet been terminated, but his status is expected to be determined after he interviews this weekend for the head coaching gig in Texas.

Also fired by the Bills was offensive line coach Frank Verducci.

In that same vein, and in the same division, the same source who told us about the coming purge in Buffalo now says that there are rumors that  Dolphins coach Nick Saban will be dumping some members of his defensive staff, too.

SAUNDERS WON'T GET AN OFFER?

As Chiefs offensive coordinator Al Saunders continues to get some play for one of the seven head coaching vacancies, we've heard an excellent observation regarding Saunders' chances from a league source.

"If the Chiefs didn't want him," the source said, "why should anyone else?"

It makes plenty of sense to us.  Saunders has spent five seasons with the team.  Even though promoting Saunders would be a good way to enhance continuity, the Chiefs were never going to hire him to replace Dick Vermeil.

Another possible strike against Saunders, in our opinion, is the possibility that his offensive coordinator would be Terry Shea, who was a complete disaster in his only season with the Bears.  After getting fired in Chicago, Shea returned to the Chiefs and resumed working as the quarterbacks coach.  

Virginia Tech has severed ties with quarterback Marcus Vick, younger brother of Michael Vick a/k/a Ron Mexico a/ka overrated quarterback on an underachieving team with a coaching staff that doesn't know how to use him properly.

University president Charles Steger announced the move on Friday.  His statement is as follows:

Given that talk of a suspension was fueling rumors that Vick might transfer or enter the draft, and in light of the fact that the matter had become a political hot taquito for an institution that gets plenty of its funding from the politicians, Tech opted to take a strong stand.  Indeed, we've heard through sources connected to the political process in Virginia that incoming governor Tim Kaine leaned on Tech to dump Vick, since Kaine feared that Vick's presence might affect the manner in which money is split between Tech and the