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Pats at Colts

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After an NFC that started off terribly and then got interesting and then turned into a rout, it's time for the main course.

Patriots at Colts.  Brady versus Manning.  Champs versus Chokers.

Winner plays the Bears.  We'll update periodically until the ball is kicked, and then we'll be updating constantly.

Watching Dan Marino interview Tom Brady.  Brady should hold out one of his Super Bowl rings and ask Marino if he wants to touch a real Super Bowl ring and then yell "psyche!" and pull it away.

Boomer looks like the Emperor from Star Wars (nerd alert!) with that hoodie on. 

Shannon Sharpe makes no f--king sense.

There's never an occasion not worthy of considering this sentence:  "According to Naughright's deposition, [Peyton] Manning, while being examined by Naughright, placed his 'naked butt and rectum' on her face."

Hey, Mom is back on the air.

Shannon makes a good point -- there are not nearly enough African-American coaches at the college level.

O say . . . O say . . . can you tell me who in the hell is Yolanda Adams?

Always love it when the words to the National Anthem get screwed up.  Anyone else hear Chris Daughtry sing the word "galliantly" today?

Peyton Manning runs like an old man who has to take a poop.

Several readers are happy that they won't be force fed the Saints' story line for the next two week.  The possibility prompted one reader to ask if we knew that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.

Steve Tasker sounds like his voice is done by Frank Oz.

Um, should a team celebrate any tackle on a kick return that occurs beyond the 20?

Gee, what a revelation.  A team needs to convert third downs to win.

And the Pats do.

Kevin Faulk apparently spent too much time watching tape of the Chargers offense from last week.

If Nick Harper doesn't make that stop on Corey Dillon, he might have gotten a first down.

Fourth down for the Pats.

Here comes Herman Munster. 

A reader is hoping that the sock puppets will mention at least once who the Colts kicker played for a year ago.

Richard Seymour is dinged up.  Not good.

A reader points out that Bart Simpson will call Moe's Tavern and ask for a "Seymour, Dick."

Close but no cigar on the long pass for Joseph "Eat Sh-t and" Addai.

Tony Dungy seems to be about as exciting and dynamic as a plate of plain noodles.

Colts punt.  Four minutes gone.

Why doesn't the Dodge commercial with the Rock-'Em, Sock-'Em robot include that annoying spring noise when the guy's head pops up?

A reader wants to know why the zebras aren't wearing the black pants.  Those are cold-weather gear, folks.

Great play by Caldwell in making Nick Harper miss -- the corner has to make that tackle for Cover 2 to work.

Some readers are hoping for a second-quarter celebrity visit to the booth.

That draw play will be there all day.

That chick has a cookie plate with tinsel on it.

Personally, I find tinsel distracting.

Fourth and short for the Pats.  Going for it.

Good to see Belichick in his hoodie.  Indoors.

That run by Dillon brought back memories of Riggo.

Pats are going to gash the Colts all day.

A reader is begging that someone will finally show Jay-Z what they got so they can quit playing that damn commercial.

HOLY SHIT!  (Yeah, that one was crazy enough to leave out the dash.)

How does that ball come out of that mess?

A reader says that ESPN is now reporting that the Steelers have hired Chan Gailey.

A reader says that Nick Harper would have made that recovery if his wife hadn't stabbed his hand with a fork last night.

Jim Nance would like a different kind of "rodeo action," if you get our drift.

A reader says that the Colts have a horseshoe on their helmet, but the Pats have one up their ass.

Colts on the march.  Kind of.

Yeah, Phil.  The Colts couldn't run at all during the Edgerrin James years.

Nick Harper heading to the locker room.  He aggravated the scar in his knee from last year.

Holy crap Harrison was getting a huge cushion and still almost made the catch deep.

Any play that doesn't involve Dallas Clark getting blown up like he did in that Madden commercial is a good play.

Every single guy who picks games on ESPN.com picked the Saints to beat the Bears.

All those Pats players showing the fourth-down symbol need to get glasses.

Colts get down to the 20, but there's a holding call.

Great play by Ellis Hobbs.  He should do the "Lights Out" dance.  (A reader suggests that Hobbs do the "naked butt and rectum" dance instead.)

Vinatieri time.

Miss it. . . .  Miss it . . . . here's my butt now kiss it.

Nantz tried to jinx him with that 26-for-26 thing.

7-3.

Simms talking about Brady patting guys on the rear end.

Brady should have let the quarter end; they should be trying to shorten the game.

So is the Taco Bell Carmen Electra ad campaign aimed at getting folks to forget about the whole E. coli thing?  (Observes a reader:  "Does a woman who was once married to Dennis Rodman say 'clean' to you?")

Three long plays from Manning "just missed"?  Is that the term to use when the defense makes a great play?

Pats on the move again.

Nice move by Maroney.   Colts can't stop the run.

Ted Marchibroda is at the game, rooting for the Colts.

Nantz says "sack" with extra fervor.

Pats going for it on fourth and six. 

Good to see that Mama McNabb has started an acting career.

Um.  Was anyone else out there troubled by that CSI commercial?  (A reader suggests that the Jay-Z song should be used for that specific episode.)

Here's a suggestion for the Pats, for the rest of the game -- take a knee on the first three downs and then go for it on fourth down and end up after that play inside the 10.

Touchdown.  14-3.  Yikes.

Keep this in mind -- if the Colts get down too far they've got to ditch the Cover 2, since it plays into the hands of a team trying to kill the clock.

Wilkins was down before he fumbled.

Napolian is gonna kick someone's ass for the non-call on that facemask.

Simms just said "Asante Samuels."

And now Phil knows his name.

But then Phil said "Samuels" again.

21-3.  Wow.  Farewell, Jughead.

Maybe the Colts should use the big guy in the blow-up suit on defense.

Nice move by Wilkins giving up five yards.

Joe Addai just got flattened on that attempted "block."

Down goes Munster!  Down goes Munster!

Bowling?  Rosevelt Colvin needs to do the "Make It Rain" thing the next time he flattens Manning.

The wheels are coming off, and the fans are booing.

Napolian's head is about to explode, we think.

Colvin rocked Manning hard after he threw that one.

Pats get started in Colts territory.  They need to keep scoring points because sooner or later Herman Munster is gonna wake up.

A laser from Brady to Watson.

Nice job by Brady getting rid of that one quickly.

Colts finally catch a break; Troy Brown gets caught throwing a pick.

Clint Eastwood at the game in a Colts shirt.

Another flag on the Pats.  Napolian must have kidnapped the ref's mother.

Brady yells out, "Don't bruise my coochie!" before taking a dive.

Vinny, you don't have to go get your own food in a nursing home.

Colts need to score now.

Looks like Peyton is having some "protection problems" against this year.

First down for the Colts.

James Brown's "Keys To Victory" for the Bears were pretty insightful; why not just say, "Chicago needs to score more points that their opponent does."

Shirtless Doogie.  The guy from Grey's Anatomy is hitting rewind on his TiVo.

Colts on the move.

Nice catch by Rhodes, but man he got smushed.

Whoa.  Tom Brady is starting to get a hole in his natural.

Another great defensive play by New England.  Could have been a flag.

I think Napolian threw that flag from the press box.

Uh oh . . . .  Napolian is going to go postal.  But replays show it's a good call.

Looks like Stephen King writes novels, pens a column for EW, and carries out water when the Colts take a timeout.

Great job by Smith getting the ball down.  21-6.

As one reader described the halftime score:  Pats and former Pats 27, Colts 0.

A reader tells us that Dan Marino picked the Colts on HBO's Inside the NFL, but the Pats during the CBS pregame.

We missed this one (nature called), but Boomer apparently said in the presence of Dan Marino that Peyton Manning is close to buying a house in A-Rod's neighborhood.

Third quarter starts.  Colts get the ball and already are moving.

Colts already near the New England 30.

Nice play by Ellis Hobbs to knock a ball away from Ellis Hobbs.

Wayne makes the catch down near the 20.

Colts moving in for a score.

Addai gets stood up at the goal line.  Manning scores -- late call.

They should go for two.

What the hell was 95 doing?

That new Ditka Coors Light commercial is good -- with actual press conference footage from past years.

Momentum has really swung back to the Colts.

Faulk somehow got away from Dwight Freeney, who could have grabbed the handoff.

Nice move by Brady to get away from heat -- but shouldn't the ball be spotted at the point of forward progress?

Wow.  Colts have got their poop back together.

Already to the Pats 31.

Marvin Harrison couldn't catch E. coli from Carmen Electra today.

Colts to the 20.

Maybe we need to read the rules, but how it is interference when the ball hits the defensive back?

Dan Klecko sticks it to his old team.

Harrison finally makes a clutch catch on the day.

21-21.

Okay, who are the idiots out there who wrote off the Colts?

Dan Klecko looks like he ate well over the holidays.

Hobbs makes up for that penalty with his kick return.

Brady finds Gaffney down to the five.

Dillon goes nowhere.  Second and goal. 

This game is getting pretty f--king good.

Uh oh.  Uh oh.  Uh oh.

Reche Caldwell let that ball hit him in the nuts.

Zebras call the force out.  Can't be challenged, as Simms points out.

Damn.  Nantz is as big of a Colts homer as we are allegedly Pats homers.

The play, as we learned this year, can be reviewed to see whether the receiver maintained possession when he landed.

Excellent replay angles from CBS.  Call should be upheld.

Despite the force out rule, it clearly makes sense to hit the guy in the hopes you can knock the ball out.

28-21.  This is one hell of a game.

Good news -- David Puddy is back on TV.  Bad news -- David Spade is on the show, too.

Maybe Puddy will make a cameo on Elaine's new show and reprise "the move."

With all those face painters at the RCA Dome, we have a feeling Puddy is attending the game.

Belichick has a bug up his butt about something.

Stephen King is helping Utecht off of the field.

Maybe Prince will sing "Let's Pretend We're Married" at the Super Bowl.

Third quarter over.

A reader wonders whether Prince will break out the assless chaps for the Super Bowl show, too.

First down Colts.  Inside the 35.

Nice flag route by Dallas Clark.  That FieldTurf rubber stuff makes it very easy to see toes dragging.

Colts get a fumble recovery by O-line.

My gosh, Nantz is practically rooting for the Colts.

28-28.

Here's some info on Belichick's incursion into the field when Ben Utecht was hurt.

Pats stopped short of the first down; time to punt again.

Some readers are getting suspicious that the Colts intentionally turned up the thermostat in the RCA Dome.

Great game.  Do we smell overtime?  It would be the first conference championship to go beyond regulation since Falcons-Vikings in January 1999.

We don't care much for Manning, but that bastard has a cannon.

Herman Munster falls down goes boom.

Looks like Wayne just broke his ass.

Herman Munster apparently jammed his thumb against a bolt in his neck.

Huge 15-yard penalty on the Colts.

Some readers think that the thumb thing is Peyton's built-in excuse for choking down the stretch.

Money time for the Pats.  They're already down near the 30.

Sorgi time?!?!

Is Clint Longley available?

Frank Reich?

From a reader:  "I'm trying to be a good teammate here, but I can't believe my left tackle allowed his shoulder to be hit by my thumb."

And that's why they weren't covering Caldwell.

Gaffney was moving forward before the snap.  As usual, it's not called.

Wow.  Should have been a flag on that one.

A little contact?  Jim, ya think?

We're amazed Brady went back to Caldwell.

So much for that bum thumb.

Damn this game is good.

Field goal time.

Overtime.

Vinatieri is due to miss a kick in a clutch situation.

Not yet.  But he's still due.

Hunter Smith is lucky his pinky didn't land in someone's cup of beer.

Another great return from Hobbs.  The Pats need to take their time and chew the clock and kick a late field goal.

Jim Plunkett is presenting the Lamar Hunt Trophy on the first occasion after Hunt's death.  Brilliant decision, NFL.

Adam who?  34-31.

Several readers realize that we are witnessing a (or is it "an") historic game tonight.

Man he put some ass into that kick.

I need to watch my language because my wife is apparently reading this.

Great play by Mickens.  Herman Munster looks like he's gonna cry.

We can't see this one ending with the Pats running out the clock.

Reche Caldwell always looks surprised.  He must never get the hiccups.

(Several readers suggest that Caldwell looks like that Jennifer Wilbanks/runaway bride chick.)

Peyton is on the phone making arrangements for his Super Bowl party.

GREAT play by Sanders breaking that one up.  Jim Nantz just peed his pants.  (I would have said "pissed," but, you know, the wife is reading.)

First down Colts.  Out to the 31.

Peyton is playing pretty courageously.  For a guy who doesn't have a busted spleen.

Wow.  Colts inside the 40.

Oh my.  What a play.

Two minute warning.  What a game.

Here we go.

Addai down to the 7.

Why aren't the Pats taking their time outs?

Addai picks up some more.

Third and short.

Mike Holmgren is shouting, "Let 'em score!  Let 'em score!"

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  24 is on tomorrow night.  Wow.

Pats have too much time on the clock.

"Eli pretty calm about it."  There's a shock.

If the Pats pull this out Tom Brady should move to the Hall of Fame.

Somewhere, Edgerrin James is shaking his head.  And counting his money.

Pats out to the 40.  Tick.  Tick.  Tick.  Tick.

Pats to the Indy 44. 

24 seconds and one time out.

Wow.

That's all, folks.  Tom Brady is human, after all.

Marlon McCree could learn something from Marlin Jackson.

Wow.  Wow.  Wow.  Wow. 

Belichick gave Dungy a warm hard and a dead fish handshake to Manning.

Maybe now that the Colts are going to the Super Bowl Jim Irsay can afford to get his teeth fixed.

Peyton thanks Nantz for keeping his crotch warm all game with his face.

We're not Colts fans, but Indy will slaughter the Bears in two weeks.

That's all folks.  Thanks for hanging out with us today.  And, who knows?  Maybe we've got one more Live Blog in us this season.