WEEK FIVE SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION 

Dallas at Philadelphia

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We love we some Live Blog -- welcome to a special edition honoring the return of T.O. to Philadelphia.  Should be a good one.  And if it's not, we'll kill the time making fun of everything we possibly can.

Check back for more before the kickoff. 

Great sign in the background of the FOX pregame set:  "Donny Mac Says Who's Puking Now?"

More "Dallas sucks!" chant. 

Fat guy with pierced tongue.  Not a good look.

Hey, at least we don't have to deal with Terry Bradshaw on Monday nights -- he said that the Rams are "all over" the Packers, with the score at 23-20. 

We'd rather hear Joey Sunshine read his personal collection of poetry than listen to Terry Bradshaw read highlights.  Can he ever complete a sentence without tripping over his tongue?

A reader tells us that as Saints running back Reggie Bush scored his first NFL touchdown, an announcer said "They just blew the roof off!"  Um. . . maybe that's not the best choice of words for the Superdome.

Game time coming.  Cowboys in their dark blue jerseys, Eagles in white. 

Why does Joe Buck always look like he's either mad or has to take a dump?

Great shot of the Linc, with video board in the background showing Rocky.

Eagles will start from the 28.  We already miss Kornholio and Sunshine.

Westbrook gets sprung on a screen to the right with trips on the left.  Nice play -- already into Dallas territory.

Westbrook pulls a Buckhalter; Roy Williams recovers for the Cowboys.

Matt Leinart already has thrown a touchdown pass for the Cardinals.

T.O. on the field -- can't hear what the crowd is chanting.

Bledsoe throws one away from inside the pocket; late flag for intentional grounding.

Dallas faces third and long; screen pass is five yards short.  Three and out, no balls to T.O.

Already getting complaints about Tuna's man boobs.

Cowboys punter will be delivering pizzas by Tuesday.

First and ten for Eagles outside the ten; pass to Hank Baskett moves it a little closer.

Anyone out there?  Hello?

Redemption for Brian Westbrook, who bounces outside to the right and scores a touchdown. 

Why do so many running backs not switch the ball in their arms?  It should be second nature by the time they get to the NFL.

Heh, heh-heh, heh . . . . He said "bone bruise."

Holy crap -- Matt Leinart has two touchdown passes.

It looks like Drew Bledsoe has taken an accidental overdose of painkillers; he fumbles and the Eagles have it at the 14. 

Says a reader -- "Looks like Matt McBriar has gotten into K-Rob's K-Y Jelly."

The calls for Tony Romo already are coming in.

McNabb throws to a wide open . . . um . . . wasn't someone supposed to be standing there?

Eagles are forced to try a field goal.  10-0 Philly.  We want Romo!

Says a reader:  "How in the hell can you go empty backfield with Bledsoe?  My grandma is more mobile and she doesn't have any legs."

We missed the Eagles fans giving the finger to the camera.  We're number one baby!

Mike Tirico just called -- "That's a great picture of Ben Franklin."

Nice kick return by Cowboys, out near the 50. 

Those college hash marks are bugging the hell out of us; why do they let Temple plays games in the Linc?  To accommodate the overflow crowds?

Terry Glenn catches one inside the Philly 30. 

Great stat from a reader -- Colts gave up 214 yards rushing today to the Titans.  Yeah, great move with Corey Simon, Bill.

First down Dallas inside the Philly 15 on a catch by Jason Witten.

First and goal for the Cowboys, at the two.  No balls thrown to T.O. yet. 

Throw the fade to T.O.

Julius Jones is stuffed twice at the goal line.

Says a reader:  "Something tells me that Joe Buck drives a bright red sports car, because the dude has really small hands."

Touchdown Dallas, courtesy of Marion Barber.  (Didn't he play the mom on Happy Days?)

A reader suggests that T.O. wear a red jersey so it will be even easier for the sock puppets to point him out . . . before every freaking play.

A reader suggests that the Tuna might be trying to make T.O. snap by not throwing the ball his way in Philly.

Eagles start at their own 29, up by three.  More commercials.

Jags are all over the Jets, 14-0.  Niners lead the Raiders, 7-6.  Cards up on the Chiefs, 14-0.

A reader says that Joe Buck's voice is having the same effect on him as Mary Hart's had on Kramer.

Pam Oliver points out the extra security around T.O.  We wonder if they're wearing shirts that say, "We're ten times better than you."

Troy, Hank Baskett wasn't drafted by the Vikings.  He was an undrafted free agent.

Regarding the question:  "Is T.O. the most overhyped, overblown decoy in history," a reader asks whether they were talking about T.O. or Joe Buck.

A reader asks whether Pam Oliver is the love child of Condi Rice and Mr. Ed.

A reader asks whether the extra security is at the game to ensure that T.O. doesn't kill himself if he continues to get ignored in the game plan.

Eagles go nowhere -- 32 yard punt and 10 yard return puts Dallas in business.

We're getting complaints from Chiefs fans that Herm Edwards isn't running the ball enough.  (Actually, the guy is a Raiders fan, but he's got Larry Johnson on his fantasy team.)

A reader suggests that Pam Oliver might be trolling the Eagles sideline soon to get close to Andy Reid's donut guy.

Darren Howard stuffs Julius Jones on first down.  Jevon who?

First throw to T.O. . . . intercepted by Brian Dawkins.

Great job by Dawkins keeping the ball off of the ground.

A reader says that Donovan McNabb just sent T.O. a text message:  "Brian Dawkins has more receptions than you."

First quarter is over.  Eagles up 10-7.

Update from other cities:  Jags lead Jets 21-0.  Cards 14, Chiefs 3.  Niners 7, Raiders 6.

Says a reader:  "The Live Blog isn't the same without Joey Sunshine.  It's almost like we have to talk about football."

Joe Buck pauses to nuzzle the crotch of the new Lord Favre.

Eagles get nowhere after the interception; punt and penalty puts the ball on the 16.

Joe Buck has a gay-looking watch.

Bledsoe one-hops a pass to his fullback; time for Romo.

Maurice Jones-Drew has two touchdowns for the Jags today.  And he has beaten up the guy covering the game for the Al Jazeera network.

Lito Sheppard has just shown why he plays defense.

The Cowboys should be getting blown out. 

After a punt, the Eagles have the ball at their own 41.

Says a reader:  "T.O. is 0-for-1 on attempted receptions, o-for-1 on attempted suicides."

Some readers think Joe Buck is on the down low.  (Those opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of PFT or its parent company.)

Joe, doe a clock tick or does it click?

Two straight completions to no-name players and the ball is suddenly deep in the Cowboys' end of the field.

We just got an e-mail from Kornholio:  "Donovan McNabb is on my fantasy team."

Tony Romo taps a sulking T.O. on the shoulder; man, we have a feeling that Romo will be getting into this game.

Dallas takes the lead on a fumble/interception by McNabb and a long run by DeMarcus Ware.

Cowboys get a penalty for an "orchestrated celebration" -- when did they sign Jay Fiedler?

Dallas is up 14-10 despite being completely outplayed.

A little birdie tells us that, as T.O. was trying to chew on the team's offensive linemen, their response was "Go f--k you some you."

Says a reader:  "My friends and I are playing a drinking game.  Every time they show T.O. we have to drink.  I feel like K-Rob right now."

Eagles are near their own 40 to start their next drive.  Jags lead Jets 28-0.  Niners 7, Raider 6.  Cards 14, Chiefs 10.

A confused reader asks after seeing the Coors Light commercial:  "Didn't Bill Walsh die?"

A reader notes that the FOX robot has the jimmy legs.

The guy that just tackled L.J. Smith teaches him how to properly chase and tackle a guy.

Costly major facemask penalty; the ball was moved from the 1.5 to the 0.75-yard-line.

An astute reader notes that Dr. Angus is the "Sidler" from the old Seinfeld episode.

Meanwhile, touchdown Eagles.  Donovan McNabb runs in.  Troy acts like a team hasn't used a lineman as the up back since Refrigerator Perry.

17-14 Philly.  Cowboys return the kick to the 25.

Cowboys wisely are trying to establish the run.

The only ball T.O. has touched today was when he adjusted his jock.

Nice gain by Terry Glenn.  T.O. is gonna eventually explode.

Joe Buck mentions T.O. again. 

Says a reader:  "I wasn't aware T.O hadn't caught a pass until they put up that graphic."

Touchdown for Randy Moss.  He sends T.O. a text message:  "I suck less than you."

Another catch for Terry Glenn.  First down Cowboys, on the Philly 21.  Owens was open on a post route.

Says a reader:  "T.O. isn't frustrated.  He has 25 million reasons to not be frustrated."

Great third-down conversion by the Cowboys, using a draw play on a safety blitz.  First and goal Cowboys.

Kim Etheredge suggests a "stature of liberty" play.

Did Drew Bledsoe learn nothing five years ago when he got blown up by Mo Lewis?

Good call -- remember -- the ball only has to break the front of the goal line.  (If Joe Buck wasn't trying to squeeze in another T.O. mention he might have noticed it.)

Julius Jones was holding someone on that play.

Joey Sunshine chimes in:  "Drew Bledsoe is the best running quarterback in the National Football League."

Stupid ass Joe Buck doesn't realize Chris Rose was kidding about the statement that Moss was upset they didn't celebrate his 100th career touchdown catch in the opposing stadium.

A reader asks if Andy Reid is wearing Batman's utility belt.  (Hey, Andy has to keep his snacks somewhere.)

Another dumbass remark by Joe Buck, suggesting Eagles fans are booing Philly receiver Jason Avant because he wears T.O.'s number.

Two minute warning.

A reader asks if Jon Runyan is wearing a sweater under his jersey.  (Planet of the Apes!)

"We are playing football" -- thanks for the clarification Joe.

Eagles stall near midfield with 1:45 to go in the half, down 21-17.

Great tackling by Sheldon Brown.  Ahmad Carroll is coming in for a workout.

Another pass thrown to someone other than T.O.

T.O. sure ain't a "star among stars" today.

Marion Barber stuffed on third and one.  Eagles will get the ball back for one more drive before halftime.

News flash from a reader:  The busts of John Madden and O.J. Simpson have broken out of the Hall of Fame and are leading cops on a slow-speed chase down I-77.

The Tuna is pissed off at Tony Fasano.

Man, that phony stare from Joe Buck has done little to change the minds of the "he's on the down low" crowd among our readers.

Says a reader:  "Joe Buck tries to imitate 'the stare.'  Gay men across America quiver."

Eagles fans are booing the home team. 

Man, some of those women at the game are really ugly.

Philly offense suddenly looks terrible; 'Boys call time out and will have another crack at the ball before the half.

Cowboys have it at the 40 with 18 seconds left.  Will the ball be thrown in T.O.'s direction?

A reader suggests that Jaworski and Kornholio and Buck all shop at the same "effeminate accessories" shop.

There's that graphic again -- no catches for T.O.  Who'da thunk it?

What a pathetic effort by Darwin Walker to try to recover that Bledsoe fumble. 

Halftime.  Exciting game so far.  Did you know that T.O. hasn't caught a single pass?  The FOX guys really haven't been saying much about it.

"Asshole" chant from Eagles fans during the FOX halftime when Jimmy Johnson talks.

If it ever starts raining on the set, the other guys could all take refuge under that carport sticking out from the front of Jimmy's head.

A reader points out that Joe Buck has a habit of talking like Yoda.  Listen we will for it in the second half.

Terry, you don't look fat.  You are fat.

This just in from Joey Sunshine:  "Drew Bledsoe is the worst rushing quarterback in the National Football League."

Third quarter starts.  Dallas has the ball.  Pam Oliver has Chunky remnants on her teeth.

Joey Sunshine says:  "Drew Bledsoe is the best rushing quarterback in the National Football League."

T.O. finally makes a catch.  And the crowd wakes up.

Sheldon Brown misses another tackle.

Great play by Darren Howard on third down, stuffing Marion Barber and forcing a punt.

Regarding our remark that some of the women at the game are ugly, a reader asks if Suzy Kolber and Michelle Tafoya are scouting the game.

Readers are split on whether Parcells has a "B" cup or a "C".

T.O. is getting upset on the sidelines.  They should confiscate his belt.

Third and short for the Eagles after an offsides penalty; tipped and dropped by L.J. Smith.

Punt for the Eagles, and the Cowboys have it at 25.

Buck says you can see the frustration on the face of Donovan McNabb.  Really?  Joe, we'd love to play some poker with you.

Elsewhere, Jags lead the Jets 38-0, the 49ers are up on the Raiders, 21-13, and the Cards lead the Chiefs 20-10.

Cowboys are going heavy on the run.

Bledsoe fumbles the snap but then pushes forward for a first down.

Julius Jones drops a pass.

Dallas calls a T.O. on third and eight.  (Not that kind of T.O.)

How about that Ford commercial where the woman pays for the shirts of the guy behind her in line at the drive-through, and asks the lady working the window to give the guy her card?  The epilogue is that a week later her body was found in a pond six miles from there.

Drew Bledsoe gets sacked on third down. 

Terry Glenn is getting upset. 

Cowboys punt.

Beautiful pass, catch, and run for the Eagles.  Nice move by the Vikings trading Baskett for Billy McMullen.

Jeff Garcia said to McNabb, "It looked like a touchdown pass, and it smelled like a touchdown pass."

24-21, Eagles.  Cowboys already in Philly territory.

Darwin Walker smothers Drew Bledsoe; third and 15.

Delay of game -- third and 20.  Swing pass.  The protection is so poor that Bledsoe isn't even looking down the field.

Buck says T.O. looks frustrated.  We think the better word is "exasperated."  (Or maybe, "an asshole.")

Great football observation from a reader:  "Hey, Dallas -- there is a formation called the shotgun.  Remember a long time ago you were like the only team that used it?  It might be a good idea when your quarterback makes Bernie Kosar look like Fran Tarkenton."

Eagles start at the 10 and quickly move it near the 30.  McNabb is heating up.

Holy crap -- the Jags are up 38-0 and fragile Fred Taylor is still getting touches.

Mike Vanderjagt tells T.O. just to get liquored up the next time he's feeling down.

Cards 20, Chiefs 17; 49ers 31, Raiders 13.

Punt for the Eagles.  Hello, Newman.

Says a reader:  "Should someone check on those guys playing the T.O. drinking game?"

T.O. drops one, and the Eagles . . . have . . . won . . . the . . . Super Bowl!

Joey Sunshine says:  "Drew Bledsoe is the worst rushing quarterback in the National Football League."

How in the hell are the Eagles only winning this one by three points?

Joe Buck is wearing a wedding ring.  Must have been one of those Massachusetts things.  (We're kidding.)

Let's see . . . the Chiefs beat San Fran by 41, and the Niners are laying the lumber to the Raiders.  And the Chiefs and the Raiders play twice this year.

And a reader sends in a comment regarding Joe Buck and Troy Aikman that we just can't use, but would love to.

Julius Jones might have gained a lot more on that last run if Terry Glenn had gotten the f--k out of the way.

End of third quarter.  Too bad we have to change the channel in eleven minutes to Football Night in America.

Great point from a couple of readers -- T.O. pulled a Stinkston on the pass he dropped.

A Temple student predicts that the Eagles are going to find a way to lose the game.

(A Drexel student says "f--k Temple.")

Third and short, Bledsoe runs it.

Joey Sunshine says:  "Drew Bledsoe is the best rushing quarterback in the National Football League."

Andy Reid doesn't challenge the spot on the third down, even though he would have won.

We actually think that belt Reid is wearing came from Gene Simmons' closet.  All he's missing is the cod plate.

Nice catch and run by T.O.

Reid likely tucked the hanky back in his pocket because he realized he'd been keeping a brownie in there.

Cowboys have a first down at the Philly 45. 

Lito Sheppard again proves why he plays defense.

A reader says, "Memo to the guy wearing the Owens jersey:  That's not warm beer being poured on your back."

Terrible pass by Bledsoe to T.O., and Owens is pissed off.  Cue Vanderjerk.

Vanderjagt converts; game tied at 24.

Great line from Aikman:  "If [Mike Vanderjagt] takes a mental holiday today he might have a full time holiday."

Cards and Chiefs knotted at 20.

Says a reader:  "If the next guy that interviews T.O. has any balls his first question will be.  'T.O., if you had Donavan McNabb at QB instead of Drew Bledsoe, would you be undefeated?'"

Man, this game is long.

24 yards from McNabb to Greg Lewis.

49ers lead Raiders 28-20.  (Yeah, we had it wrong earlier but that was the score posted on NFL.com.)

Flea flicker.  Touchdown.  Is it coming back?

Probably illegal contact.

Or holding.

Now it's 34-20, Niners over Raiders.

Eagles lead 31-24.  Still a lot of time left.

Chiefs lead Cards 23-20 with less than two minutes to play.

Good point from a reader -- is Ricky Manning Jr. the star of the commercial where the guy says, "Silly little fairy."

They're sing the "O.D." song; we're still waiting for "F--k you T.O."

Nice catch by T.O. on a looping pass from Bledsoe.  Cowboys at the 42.

Neil Rackers missed a 51-yard field goal at the end of the Cards-Chiefs game; Arizona falls to 1-4, and Denny Green will be working with his son next year at ESPN.

Another quail by Bledsoe, and Lito Sheppard finally makes a catch.  Replay shows that Sheppard tried to drop the thing.

And nice effort by T.O. to force Sheppard to drop it.

Ro-mo . . . Ro-mo . . . Ro-mo . . . Ro-mo . . .

Eagles chewing up the clock.  Five minutes to go.

Philly to punt with 4:37 to go.  C'mon, guys, wind it up -- I'm missing my Sterling Sharpe time.

Says a reader:  "Wow.  T.O. is talking a lot on the sidelines.  I've never seen him do that before."

Three catches, 45 yards for Owens.

This just in from Joey Sunshine:  "Drew Bledsoe is the best rushing quarterback in the National Football League."

Nice catch by Jason Witten, who got lit up by two defenders.

Ball goes through T.O.'s hands.  Have you been getting into K-Rob's K-Y, too, T.O.?

Great point from a reader -- Bledoe has a "Weekend at Bernie's" moment during that last sack he took.

Game on the line.  Fourth and four.  2:17.

Bledsoe takes a time out. 

The ballsy move would be to send it deep -- we agree with Troy.

Bledsoe keeps the drive alive with a pass to Patrick Crayton.  Two minute warning.

A reader suggests a way to break a tie, in lieu of overtime:  "Reid and Parcells should run onto the field and rip off the tarps they're wearing, revealing nothing but thongs, and then they should conduct a sumo match in the Eagles logo at the 50."

Ugh.  That'll pop a spleen.

Another one.

Bledsoe is having to get off of the mat so often he should change his last name to "Balboa."

Says a reader:  "Bledoe looked like a stature on that last sack."

Ball game, right here.

Uh oh.  Long ball to Terry Glenn.  Either he caught it or it's interference.  Just after Aikman and Buck did a knob job on the Eagles' secondary.

Pass was incomplete, by the call is against the Eagles.  First and goal.

Bledsoe goes to T.O. in the back of the end zone, but misses badly.

Game over.  Bledsoe finds a wide open Lito Sheppard, who returns it 100-plus yards for the game-clincher.

Hey, Tuna -- it's time to bench Bledsoe, despite his statue.

Lito tempted fate as he was coming into the station, raising the ball up before realizing that Marion Barber was hot on his heels.

"Good thing Tuna has two boobs," a reader says.  "One for Bledsoe and one for T.O. to suckle on during the flight home."

Game over.  A few observations.

1.  It's Tony Romo time.

2.  They should charter a separate jet for T.O.'s trip back to Dallas.

3.  The Eagles are winning without a bunch of superstars beyond Donovan McNabb.  Everyone is contributing.  They're looking a lot like the Pats of 2001, 2003, and 2004.

That's all for today, folks.  Join us in 25 hours for a Live Blog of the Ravens-Broncos game.