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POSTED 7:51 p.m. EST; UPDATED 10:20 p.m. EST, November 15, 2006

DEL RIO TO GET DRESSED UP, TOO

As Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio embarks on a seven-game stretch that might force him to wear a suit for a job interview, he'll be breaking in the dress duds during Monday night's home game against the Giants.

The AP reports that Del Rio will join Mike Nolan of the 49ers as the first head coaches to wear a coat and a tie since the league mandated that the field chiefs don clothing provided by the league's official apparel sponsor.

The only open question, as we see it? Whether tailors will be able to fashion for the fireplug-shaped former linebacker a shirt with a 25-inch neck . . . and 25-inch sleeves.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

The Vikings likely have lost FB Tony Richardson for the season with thumb and forearm injuries.

Jets RB Leon Washington says "We're No. 1" on a trading card.

The Rams have placed CB Travis Fisher on IR with a broken right forearm.

Raiders QB Andrew Walter is sorry (that the team ever drafted him).

Cowboys QB Tony Romo is the NFC offensive player of the week; other winners for the weekend include Willie Parker and Devin Hester.

O.J. Simpson. Still an asshole.

The Argos have extended an open invitation to RB Ricky Williams.

L.T. could get to 100 touchdowns in five fewer games than Jim Brown or Emmitt Smith.

Browns QB Charlie Frye (left wrist) is questionable for Sunday's game against the Steelers.

Texans QB David Carr (shoulder) is questionable for Sunday, too.

Saints WR Joe Horn is questionable with a groin injury.

Colts DT Montae Reagor will miss another game following an October automobile accident.

Cowboys WR Terry Glenn is probable with a quad injury that kept him out of Sunday's game at Arizona.

Giants DE Michael Strahan is listed as out for Monday.

The Jags list 23 players as probable or questionable for Monday night.

POSTED 7:37 p.m. EST, November 15, 2006

NOT THE FIRST TICKETS ISSUE WITH THE BROWNS

Though details are still very sketchy regarding the grand jury inquiry in Ohio that is reportedly exploring the manner in which Super Bowl tickets were distributed by one or more members of the Browns organization, this isn't the first time that a member of the club has gotten crossways with the feds over the windfall that can be generated from the private sale of football seats.

Last year, former Browns ticket manager John Tironi pleaded guilty to a scam that entailed Tironi diverting PSLs and tickets from the team's waiting list to a ticket broker. The broker paid Tironi $5,000 a month for the "favors," and the scam netted more than $194,000 over two years.

Tironi received six months of house arrest.

And we wonder whether Tironi, as part of his plea deal, gave up information that has provided the basis for the current investigation.

POSTED 2:16 p.m. EST; UPDATED 5:28 p.m. EST, November 15, 2006

NOLAN WILL WEAR A SUIT

Matt Maiocco of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat reports that the NFL has given 49ers coach Mike Nolan permission to wear a suit on the sidelines. Nolan is expected to don a coat and tie (and, presumably, pants) for the team's November 19 home game against the Seahawks.

But the permission is limited. Nolan reportedly may wear a suit for only two games this season.

"There's a strong chance he'll be wearing a suit for this game," a source close to Nolan said on Tuesday. "But at the end of the day, they still want to sell hats and shirts instead of blazers." Nolan said in 2005 that he prefers to dress like the coaches of yesteryear, including his father Dick Nolan, who wore business attire while taking care of their business.

We understand that Reebok wants its logo to be ubiquitous (thanks, Tiki) on game day. But, really, who in the audience will decide to buy Reebok apparel based on the fact that a middle-aged man is wearing a polo shirt with the Reebok wavy lines thingee on the sleeve?

And what's worse for the overall image of the NFL? A coach in his Sunday best that doesn't double as a billboard for Reebook, or a coach in his Sunday worst, like Bill Belichick and his sweat jersey with the sleeves partially cut off and the red replay flag stuffed in his sock?

Hey, we got no problem with Belichick's choice of attire. But if he's allowed to hobo it up, Nolan should be allowed to spruce it up.

WEDNESDAY LATE AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Redskins RB Clinton Portis will be placed on IR.

To a contrite Albert Haynesworth, Dante says: "Once a turd, always a turd."

Steelers S Troy Polamalu is questionable for Sunday with a concussion.

The Jets shifted $1 million of WR Laveranues Coles' pay from 2007 to 2006 in an effort to use up this year's cap space; the Jets still have $4 million in cap room remaining.

The Jets plan to sign WR Jerricho Cotchery to a long-term deal after the 2006 season; he's currently scheduled to earn $460,000 in 2007, the final year of his contract.

L.T. is breaking some of the records set by Hall of Fame RB Jim Brown (who also is the subject of Mike Freeman's new book, which can be purchased by clicking the link in the top right corner of the page . . . yeah, we're shameless . . .).

Prior to Sunday's Chargers-Bengals game, no team had scored 42 points in the second half since 1979, when the Saints beat the Bucs, 42-14.

The Vikings' offense is struggling on third down (and on first and second down, too).

Vikings WR Troy Williamson is quickly becoming a forgotten man in the team's offense, giving way to previously forgotten guys like Bethel Johnson and Billy McMullen.

Why do we have a feeling that OL Fred Weary's version of the events that resulted in him getting tasered might be slightly different than the version offered up by the cops?

Titans coach Jeff Fisher has been fined $12,500 for comments critical of the officials after Sunday's loss to the Ravens.

Titans DT Randy Starks is scheduled to go to trial on December 12 for charges of domestic assault.

Bucs DE Dewayne White helped his stock on Monday night as he prepares to become a free agent in March.

Lions defensive line coach Joe Cullen could soon reach a plea deal as to charges of driving drunk but clothed and driving naked but sober.

Jags OT Khalif Barnes is sorry (that he got caught).

POSTED 12:47 p.m. EST, November 15, 2006

GREEN TO START FOR CHIEFS ON SUNDAY

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com reports that Trent Green will start at quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday, replacing Damon Huard.

'We're going to go with Trent as our starter,” Edwards told Glazer. "This has been his football team for a long time. I think his return will give us a shot of adrenaline. But Trent alone won't allow us to win games. We all have to circle around him and play better and coach better if we’re going to win games down the stretch."

Huard has been the quarterback since Green suffered a severe concussion in Week One against the Bengals. Last week, Edwards suggested that Huard would keep the job once Green is cleared to play. But after a subpar outing at Miami, which dropped the Chiefs to 5-4, Green has been cleared to play and reinstalled as the starter in a span of less than 24 hours.

POSTED 11:46 a.m. EST; UPDATED 12:40 p.m. EST, November 15, 2006

FEDS INVESTIGATING SUPER BOWL SCALPING?

A league source tells us that the federal authorities in Ohio are thought to be investigating whether Super Bowl tickets were sold at a premium by certain Cleveland Browns officials and, if so, whether taxes were paid on any income generated.

News of a grand jury inquiry surfaced several days ago, in a Yahoo! Sports report regarding the decision of Saints running back Reggie Bush to part ways with marketing agent Mike Ornstein. The Yahoo! story contained a vague reference to grand jury proceedings for which Ornstein had been subpoenaed to testify, and Yahoo! reported that the matter is "related to Ornstein receiving Super Bowl tickets from the Cleveland Browns several years ago in exchange for the use of cars."

The issue, as we understand it, is whether any value over and above the stated price of the tickets was properly regarded as income by the persons who surrendered the tickets. Whether the value was cash or "the use of cars" or a truckload of Cracker Jack, the question is whether someone got something worth more than the face value of the tickets, and whether that someone disclosed the something as income -- and then paid taxes on it.

We're still digging into this one some more in order to find out who the target(s) might be, and whether the feds are exploring this thing in cities other than Cleveland. Though some league insiders think Ornstein is merely a witness and not a target, another league source tells us that Ornstein is indeed a target.

Stay tuned.

MIXED REVIEWS ON ORNSTEIN'S WORK FOR BUSH

Speaking of marketing agent Mike Ornstein and former client Reggie Bush, there's a strong difference of opinion in league circles as to whether Bush should have dumped Ornstein.

Plenty of folks are raving about Ornstein's efforts to help Bush become a superstar in New Orleans, and to parlay Reggie's celebrity into millions of dollars in endorsement money before Bush ever signed an NFL contract.

"Ornstein has done the greatest marketing job for any player who left college and went to the NFL," agent Gary Wichard told us earlier this week. And Wichard knows a thing or two about marketing college players based on celebrity; he represented Brian Bosworth when "The Boz" became a national phenomenon in the late 1980s.

On the other hand, there are folks who think that Ornstein actually kept Bush from making even more off-field money. One source with knowledge of the situation tells us that there were other potential companies that wanted to do business with Reggie, but walked away because Ornstein was involved.

Some people think that the reports of $50 million in advertising contracts has been inflated by Ornstein. Still, it's indisputable that Bush is a prominent fixture with companies like Pepsi and Hummer and adidas and Subway. And the prevailing view in some circles is that Ornstein was a scapegoat for problems that originated with the Bush family's desire to get paid while Reggie was still an amateur.

But shed no tears for Ornstein. He'll still get his fee for the deals he struck, and depending on the terms of his contract with Bush he might even be entitled to a piece of any renewal.

Moving forward, some league insiders are wondering whether football agent Joel Segal will be the next guy to get the shoe. It is widely believed that Ornstein engineered the selection of Segal, and with Ornstein out of the picture Reggie might now be looking for someone else to handle the football side of his business interests.

The new agent, however, will be working for free, unless and until Bush signs a new football contract. But it's a small sacrifice to make for an agency that might be very interested in adding Bush's face to the wall.

POSTED 10:04 a.m. EST, November 15, 2006

THE RETURN OF VINNY T.

We haven't had anything to say regarding the unexpected-but-not-shocking un-retirement of 43-year-old quarterback Vinny Testaverde because we really didn't know what to make of it.

Though there are plenty of potential theories, we think that it's simply a case of having a veteran option available in the event that Tom Brady gets hurt.

Backup Matt Cassel, after all, is only a second-year guy. Then again, Tom Brady was in his second season when Drew Bledsoe's insides blew apart on a sideline hit from Jets linebacker Mo Lewis.

Still, Brady stepped in for a team with low expectations and no real track record of success, but for a couple of Super Bowl appearances that were five and 16 years in the rear-view mirror. So there was little or no pressure on the guy.

If Cassel were to get the call in the stretch run of the 2006 season, the results could be downright Gradkowski-esque.

So we have no reason to doubt the face value of Bill Belichick's position that the move is being made solely to provide the team with late-season insurance against an injury to the Franchise (other than, you know, the fact that you generally can't believe anything that Belichick or any other savvy football coach publicly says).

"When you have an insurance policy, you can't bring a guy in one week and expect him to learn the terminology that quickly -- you have to make the move ahead of time," Belichick said on Tuesday.

We agree. And we suspect that, until Testaverde is up to speed, he'll be the No. 3 guy on game days. But if Brady goes down and there's a week to prepare for the next game, Testaverde will be the guy to lead the team down the stretch.

As a reader pointed out to us last night, if/when Cassel slips behind Testaverde on the depth chart, Vinny will be the fourth Heisman winner who has been standing in line in front of Cassel at some point during his college and pro career.

POSTED 12:01 a.m. EST; UPDATED 12:21 a.m. EST, November 15, 2006

CONGRESS "INTRIGUED" BY NFLN

The Associated Press reports that Congress is taking a look at the plans of the NFL's in-house television network to air regular-season games.

"We're intrigued, to put it mildly," Senator Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) said during hearings held on Tuesday.

The Senate Judiciary Committee is analyzing whether the NFL's plan to air its own games on its own network raises antitrust issues. In our view, the hearings suggest that perhaps Time Warner -- the league's primary adversary in a high-stakes game of cable chicken which soon will boil over when the best game on Thanksgiving isn't available in many markets -- has enough juice in D.C. to make trouble for the NFL.

The hearings first were mentioned earlier in the day by Gregg Easterbook in his TMQ column on ESPN.com's Page 2.

Testifying at the hearing were NFL executive V.P. and general counsel Jeffrey Pash, DirecTV executive V.P. Daniel Fawcett, and Time Warner C.O.O. Landel Hobbs. Easterbrook suggests (and we agree) that the NFL should move quickly to make the Sunday Ticket package available via cable. We also think that the league should bury the hatchet with Time Warner pronto, working out a deal that makes NFLN available to millions of consumers who don't presently get it.

FORTY-NINERS FACING WRATH OF FEINSTEIN?

The NFL isn't alone in its Congressional scrutiny. One of the 32 member clubs, the San Francisco 49ers, could be the trigger for legislation that might be introduced by Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Cal.) regarding the ability of sports teams to leave their home markets.

Feinstain said on Tuesday that she might introduce a bill requiring local officials to approve of a team's ability to move to another locale, and to retain the name of its former home. She also is considering a bill that would mandate league approval of any move. Currently, NFL rules require the approval of 3/4th of ownership, but no law compels approval.

"You're in San Francisco, you're a San Francisco 49er,'' said Feinstein, who once was the mayor of San Francisco. "You're outside of San Francisco, you're not a San Francisco 49er."

The 49ers announced last week plans to relocate to nearby Santa Clara.

NEW TEN-PACK IS UP

We've got a new ten-pack posted for your reading pleasure, including among other things a look at the misguided (in hindsight) decision of the NFL to incorporate flexible scheduling into only one of the two prime time packages.

The result, in our view? The Monday Night Football franchise will lose its appeal, and its value.

Click here for our takes regarding flex scheduling and nine other issues, including our inside look at Devin Hester's 108-yard touchdown run following a missed field goal, and the latest exploits of Joey Sunshine.

ANOTHER MNF STINKER

Although Monday night's game between the Panthers and the Bucs wasn't nearly as pathetic as the November 6 Raiders-Seahawks get-together, the viewers have spoken.

The most recent Monday night game nudged out Oakland at Seattle as the lowest-rated Monday night game. Ever.

This week's game was off by more than 270,000 households from last week's previous all-time low of 7.587 million homes.

But ESPN continues to whip up the chicken salad. "With a 37 percent increase over ESPN's coverage over last season, Monday Night Football is exceeding our expectations," ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz told the AP. "And we're looking forward to an exciting stretch run."

In our view? It's not going to get much better. As we discussed Tuesday night on Sporting News Radio with Jim Talamonti (who was filling in for an under-the-weather Todd Wright), we believe that viewers will gravitate toward NBC's flex-scheduled games over the balance of the season, since the coming Holidays might make it harder to justify setting aside two consecutive nights each week for watching football.

POSTED 5:16 p.m. EST, November 14, 2006

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER ARREST

Texans offensive lineman Fred Weary was cuffed and hauled downtown after allegedly resisting arrest on Tuesday, according to KHOU in Houston.

Weary, a third-round draft choice of the Texans in their inaugural season of 2002, was reportedly tasered by police. The incident occurred as part of a routine traffic stop.

Weary has played in eight games this season, starting in five of them. For his career, Weary has played in 44 games, making 24 starts. He currently appears on the team's depth chart as the starting right guard, and the backup at left guard.

POSTED 3:58 p.m. EST; UPDATED 4:32 p.m. EST, November 14, 2006

PATS PUTTING IN FIELD TURF

The New England Patriots have opted to tear up the green beach that turned into a sloppy green sh-t pit during Sunday's loss to the Jets. In its place, the Pats are installing FieldTurf.

Per Patriots Football Weekly, the new surface will be in place prior to the team's November 26 game against the Bears.

Work has already begun to bulldoze the old surface.

Last month, the Boston Herald reported that a synthetic surface would be installed prior to the November 5 game against the Colts. But soon thereafter there were reports that the playing surface cannot be changed in the middle of a season.

Of course, it was more than just a rumor or a quote from an unnamed source. There were stories about such a rule because someone from the league office cited such a rule. On the record.

"A team cannot change its surface during the season," AFC information manager Steve Alic said at the time. "A club must finish the season with the same surface it began with."

Interestingly, Pats president Jonathan Kraft recently said on 890 ESPN Radio in Boston that no such rule exists.

Mike Reiss of the Boston Globe sheds some light on the situation: "The confusion resulted from a recommendation made by the NFL's competition committee that teams couldn't change surfaces during the season, although that recommendation was never converted into league policy."

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello confirms this reality. "There is no such league rule," Aiello told us in an e-mail moments ago. "The Competition Committee back in 1998 expressed its view on it, but it was never adopted as a league rule."

POSTED 8:27 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 10:42 a.m. EST, November 14, 2006

DEL RIO IN HOT WATER?

A league source tells us that there's a rumor on the NFL grapevine that coach Jack Del Rio is in "major league trouble" if the Jacksonville Jaguars fail to qualify for the 2006 playoffs.

Jacksonville currently is 5-4, including two losses to the otherwise 1-6 Houston Texans. Last year, the Jags were 12-4.

The team currently is in a three-way tie with the Chiefs and the Jets for the No. 6 seed in the AFC field. The Bengals are a game back at 4-5. Jacksonville holds the head-to-head tiebreaker with the Jets, and the Jaguars finish the regular season at Kansas City.

After several years of struggles to sell out their home stadium, the Jags' success in 2005 prompted a strong demand for tickets. But a reversal this season could quickly result in a return to the days of local blackouts.

The team's most recent stumble, a home defeat to Houston, apparently won't bring a premature end to David Garrard's tenure as the starting quarterback. Instead, Del Rio is taking aim at the team's receivers, who have been dropping more balls than a urologist with sweaty palms. (Yeah, we break that one out a couple of times a year.) Reggie Williams could end up losing playing time to Cortez Hankton, and Matt Jones might be a step or two away from the doghouse after two drops turned into two of Garrard's four interceptions.

Meanwhile, former starter Byron Leftwich got a second opinion from Dr. James Andrews on Monday. Team doctors reportedly told Leftwich that he won't be able to play again this season. Leftwich has said that he thinks he can play.

Our guess? Del Rio is hitching his wagon for the rest of the way to Garrard. And if Garrard doesn't deliver, Del Rio might be coaching linebackers somewhere in 2007, or possibly working as a defensive coordinator.

HOUSE CLEANING COMING IN 'ZONA?

Strong indications currently are that both coach Dennis Green and V.P. of football operations Rod Graves will get the heave-ho from the Arizona Cardinals after the 2006 season.

The Cards have resisted firing Green in the midst of a far-worse-than-expected 1-8 season because, in our opinion, the miserly Bidwills want to reduce the buyout that Green will be owed on a contract that runs through the 2007 season. Though some in the ownership family might be tempted to play high-stakes chicken with Green in the offseason in the hopes that he'll quit, our guess is that the powers-that-be will realize that they'll lose far more than his $2.5 million salary for next season in the form of season ticket renewals if they don't get rid of Green promptly after the final game of the current campaign.

We won't rule out, however, an effort by the Bidwills to fire Green and then withhold his pay for 2007 based on an allegation that he has somehow breached the letter of his contract. The goal would then be to save a few hundred thousand by negotiating a settlement for less than the amount owed to the veteran head coach. Our advice? Just pay the guy to go away.

Regardless of how Green's tenure ends in Arizona, we're not convinced that the team ever will be worth a crap. Like the Detroit Lions, the common link through decades of poor performance is ownership. The Cardinals franchise has had more than 40 coaches in its 87-year history, and none has made it longer than six years.

There has been only one playoff win since the Truman administration, and the Bidwills have owned the team since 1932.

Coincidence? You decide.

Another example of the team's overall ineptitude? They somehow managed to screw up Sunday's halftime tribute to the late Pat Tillman. But at least they've owned up to the gaffe. The following statement appears on the team's official web site: "During the Ring of Honor ceremony for Pat Tillman at halftime of Sunday's game against the Cowboys, the tribute that ran on the stadium’s scoreboard did not operate properly and we sincerely apologize for that. While the technical reasons for those audio problems have been addressed, the bottom line is that we dropped the ball. Our intent was to provide a very special tribute to Pat and in the end we did not do that. We regret that very much."

A link to the tribute is available on the team's site. (And, surprisingly, it works.)

So how does the team move forward? Aside from an ownership change, the best bet for the Bidwills will be to hire a strong G.M., open up the change purse, and then butt out completely. The G.M. then should hire the right coach to bring the team together and make it into a perennial winner.

The thinking is that the Bidwills will want to focus on finding an offensive-minded head coach, in order to maximize the Matt Leinart investment. We've heard Dick Vermeil's name mentioned, and even though he says he's not interested some think that if the team expresses interest in the retired coach of the Eagles, Rams, and Chiefs, Vermeil will reciprocate.

We've also heard that Bears defensive coordinator Ron Rivera and current Cardinals defensive coordinator Clancy Pendergast could be on the list, but both would need to be able to line up a top-notch offensive coordinator.

Some think that Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz could be considered for the job. Though we doubt that anyone would take a chance on Martz given his reputation as a power-hungry control freak, the Bidwills might become infatuated with his success in the city where the Cardinals used to play.

Then there are the college ranks. Bobby Petrino of the Louisville Cardinals is a possibility, especially in light of what the team's offense has accomplished despite a wave of key injuries in 2006. Rich Rodriguez of West Virginia could be a candidate for the position of offensive coordinator under a defense-oriented head coach; however, Rodriguez's once pass-happy offensive system has evolved into an attack that requires a mobile quarterback.

Despite the past problems with the franchise, we think there's potential. An improved offensive line could help the scoreboard to explode, and the Cardinals have the cap room to be very competitive in the coming free-agent market. The location and the facilities should also help to attract players who can go elsewhere.

And the high draft position could enable the team to trade down with someone who wants Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn, Georgia Tech receiver Calvin Johnson, or Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson (none of whom the Cardinals need). In exchange, the Cardinals would pick up a bunch of extra selections that can be used to beef up the offensive line and the defensive side of the ball.

So, yes, there's reason for optimism in the post-Green/Graves era. But the franchise has to play it right, and the smartest move would be for the Bidwills to get out of the way and let the experts do the job.

RADIO TUESDAY

Coming later today, you can check out the Poobah on Triple X ESPN Radio at 12:10 p.m. EST or so, as he makes a weekly visit with Larry Michael and Bram Weinstein on "Redskins Lunch" (we hope they're not serving pemmican again). At 2:25 p.m. EST, Florio chats with Chris McClain of WFNZ in Charlotte. And at 10:25 p.m. EST, the Poobah makes a weekly pit stop with Todd Wright of Sporting News Radio.

The weekly spot with our pal Steve Duemig of WDAE in Tampa has been bumped to Wednesday, because some guy named Jon Gruden had to move his weekly show from Monday to Tuesday.

Most of the shows stream live on the Internet, so we're happy to provide you with another reason to take another little "break" from your work day.

[UPDATE: We got bumped from Redskins Lunch for Jason Campbell.]

TUESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Falcons DE Patrick Kerney is out for the season with a ruptured right pectoral muscle.

Mark Maske of the Washington Post confirms Jay Glazer's story from Sunday regarding the possibility that tougher steroids testing could be coming.

Titans DT Randy Starks has a court date on Tuesday resulting from an August domestic violence arrest.

Titans WR David Givens (ACL) is done for the season.

The rash of injuries to Giants players is forcing Tom Coughlin to eat his words from his introductory press conference in January 2004.

The Redskins are boo-hooing the fact that they played three teams coming out of their bye weeks this season.

Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez (shoulder) will miss his first game in seven years.

Joe Namath is proud of the Jets. (Hey, we thought he was on the wagon.)

The Lions don't plan to bench QB Jon Kitna. (The decision might have something to do with the fact that they really don't have anyone else who can, you know, play the position.)

Dolphins RB Ricky Williams says that he "bonded" with his Toronto Argonauts teammates. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

The Tuna is forced to come up with someone to replace DE Greg Ellis, who is done for the year with a ruptured Achilles tendon. (On Monday, Parcells suggested that he might try to get Carl Banks to come out of retirement. He was kidding. We think.)

The AJC is pointing fingers at the Falcons' coaching staff.

The Seahawks might get QB Matt Hasselbeck and RB Shaun Alexander back for Sunday's game against the 49ers.

Seahawks OT Sean Locklear is battling a high ankle sprain.

Raiders coach Art Shell might bench QB Andrew Walter after Walter publicly criticized the team's offense.

Meanwhile, Shell continues to allow WR Randy Moss to offer up nuggets like this, regarding his recent spate of dropped passes: "Maybe because I'm unhappy and I'm not too much excited about what's going on. So, my concentration and focus level tend to go down sometimes when I'm in a bad mood. All I can say is if you put me in a good situation and make me happy, man, you get good results." (Randy, we really feel sorry for you and all your money and, you know, your God-given ability that you choose only to use when you're the focus of positive attention.)

Browns coach Romeo Crennel says that defensive coordinator Todd Grantham is a candidate for the Michigan State job. (Many Browns fans might prefer it if Crennel were the candidate.)

X-rays on the hand of Browns QB Charlie Frye were negative.

Vikings WR Travis Taylor says that the NFL has 'fessed up to some bad officiating calls.

Vikings CB Antoine Winfield, on why the team played so much zone defense against the Packers: "We played a lot of zone, thinking that [Brett] Favre was going to throw the interceptions that he usually does." (Hey, 'Toine, way to give Lord Favre some more motivation to torch you guys next month at Lambeau.)

The Bengals shifted the play-calling from QB Carson Palmer back to offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski during the no-huddle portion of the team's repertoire, and the Bengals gained 545 total yards on the day. (Maybe Bratkowski should call some defensive plays, too.)

Bears coach Lovie Smith remains committed to QB Rex Grossman.

The typically tight-lipped Pats are suddenly chatty.

Eagles coach Andy Reid won't say whether he'll resume calling plays after giving the job to offensive coordinator Marty Morningsomething in the 27-3 win over the Redskins.

POSTED 7:57 p.m. EST, November 13, 2006

CAMPBELL STARTS FOR 'SKINS SUNDAY

Redskins coach Joe Gibbs said on Monday that second-year quarterback Jason Campbell will start on Sunday at quarterback, replacing Mark Brunell.

"We're going to give Jason his opportunity and see if we can be more productive and see if we can get some more answers," Gibbs said.

Gibbs benched Brunell two years ago, when the team had the same record that it now has -- three wins, six losses.

"I was kind of shocked," Campbell said. "It's like when the principal calls you into the office, you get kind of jittery, you don't know what to expect. . . . Basically he told me it's my job. It's my job, and I've got to approach it that way."

POSTED 12:32 p.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 4:41 p.m. EST, November 13, 2006

FORGOTTEN FEARS REALIZED FOR TAZ?

The news that Steelers safety Troy Polamalu suffered a concussion on Sunday likely will cause most fans and media types to shrug. After all, hardly a week goes by that an NFL player with a quickly recognizable name doesn't suffer a blow to the brain box.

But in the case of the Tasmanian Devil, the nasty knock to the noggin that he suffered on Sunday -- which prompted him to nearly tumble off of the bench after being examined by doctors -- is the latest in a troubling string of concussions dating back to his high school career.

Officially, Polamalu has had six concussions. Unofficially, the number is likely higher, possibly in the double digits.

The issue was serious enough to have Polamalu evaluated by a neurological surgeon before selecting him in the first round of the 2003 draft.

Said Steelers director of football operations Kevin Colbert at the time: "Because of the history, you bring him in to get looked at by your specialist; you never know. Once we checked, we were satisfied there was nothing to be concerned with. Players are going to get nicked, especially players who play as hard as he does. I think he'll probably deliver a few more blows than he'll take."

Still, there are medical experts who believe that a history of concussions makes it easier to get more concussions, and that multiple concussions can result in progressively serious symptoms.

With Polamalu signed only through 2007, it's an issue that the Steelers likely will have to revisit in the next year or so, if/when the team is considering whether to break the bank in order to re-sign him.

Meanwhile, we're guessing that Taz was feeling the effects of a concussion when he told the barber to give him the Samoafro that he's sporting in this picture from his days at USC.

MONDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

The Texans win over the Jaguars was costly; OT Zach Wiegert (ACL) is out for the year and DT Travis Johnson (calf) could be done, too; also injured was QB David Carr (shoulder).

Texans DE Mario Williams is suffering from plantar fasciitis.

Rams LT Orlando Pace is out for the season with a torn triceps.

Redskins RB Clinton Portis will miss at least three or four weeks with a broken bone in his right hand.

The Jags deactivated LT Khalif Barnes for Sunday's game against the Texans due to his weekend arrest for DUI.

Says Pats DT Richard Seymour after the team's loss to the Jets: "They outplayed us and out-coached us."

Seymour also was grumbling about his playing time.

Giants RB Tiki Barber isn't expected to miss any time with a thumb injury.

The Colts are the first team to start consecutive seasons at 9-0. (Unfortunately, they don't give out big gaudy rings covered in diamonds for that specific feat.)

After fumbling early in the second quarter, Pats WR Doug Gabriel spent the rest of the game on the bench.

Gee, who would have ever thought that the Bears might try to run a short field goal out of the end zone?

Chiefs coach Herm Edwards says that QB Trent Green won't be rushed back to the field due to a 10-point offensive performance on Sunday at Miami under backup Damon Huard.

Titans coach Jeff Fisher is gonna have less money in his moustache comb budget: "That was a bad call by the umpire and that's what bothers me. We all saw it. Everybody saw it. The runner is upright and the ball came out. How you get down by contact, I have no idea. I hope they hear me [at the NFL office] in New York because that was field position and we lost by a point."

The November 26 Eagles-Colts game has been moved to Sunday night.

Cards CB Eric Green was benched after getting beat for two touchdown passes against the Cowboys.

Cards WR Larry Fitzgerald left Sunday's game early with some soreness in his hamstring.

Chargers S Marlon McCree has apologized for a hit on Bengals WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh that gave the wideout a concussion.

Redskins S Adam Archuleta was relegated to special teams only on Sunday.

Redskins RB T.J. Duckett sounds way too content about the fact that he doesn't play much.

Lord Favre is 6-2 in his last eight games in a dome.

POSTED 9:57 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 11:00 a.m. EST, November 13, 2006

BUSH FIRES ORNSTEIN

Saints running back Reggie Bush has parted ways with marketing agent Mike Ornstein, according to Josh Peter and Jason Cole of Yahoo! Sports.

Although there has been no formal statement from Bush or from Ornstein in this regard, Ornstein reportedly revealed the split when he canceled an order for 120 turkeys that Bush had planned to give to Saints players and team officials for Thanksgiving. Another source confirmed on the condition of anonymity that Bush and Ornstein are no longer working together.

Ornstein hung up the phone on a reporter who was seeking comment on the story, and Bush likewise declined to talk about the situation after his team's game on Sunday in Pittsburgh.

Ornstein helped Bush land more than $50 million in endorsement deals from adidas, Pepsi, Hummer, Subway, and EA Sports. Ornstein also helped curry favor for Bush by quarterbacking an extensive charitable effort in the Crescent City. The moves helped to take the steam out of an embarrassing story that broke in the days before the draft regarding allegations that Bush and his family received benefits while he was still playing college football, and prompted folks in New Orleans to dub the 2005 Heisman winner "Jesus in Cleats."

But Ornstein brought plenty of baggage to the table. He was convicted in 1995 of defrauding the NFL while he was working for the league. And he widely is regarded in league and media circles as a guy with a very short fuse. We'd previously heard that there were some members of Bush's family who were strongly opposed to Ornstein's involvement in his career, and it sounds like those voices finally prevailed.

FEDS INVESTIGATING SUPER BOWL SCALPING?

Buried in the latest Yahoo! Sports story regarding the Reggie Bush imbroglio is a revelation that his former marketing agent, Mike Ornstein, was subpoenaed in September to appear before a grand jury in Ohio. The subpoena reportedly is related to Ornstein's receipt of Super Bowl tickets from the Browns several years ago, in exchange for the use of cars.

We're not quite sure what that means, or how it translates into an actual or potential violation of the law. And it makes us wonder whether the focus of the inquiry is the person who received the tickets -- or the person(s) who gave him the tickets.

The scalping of Super Bowl tickets by NFL owners has long been regarded as one of the league's dirty little secrets. Could it be that the feds in Ohio have caught wind of misuse of the Browns' allotment of seats, and is now looking into whether someone has been breaking the law in connection with the most coveted ticket in all of sports?

Ever since Ornstein's name surfaced as the potential marketing agent for Reggie Bush, we've generally heard that the league generally lets Ornstein do whatever he generally wants because Ornstein generally knows too much information about too many things. Generally speaking. Based on the events that are unfolding in Ohio, the speculation in this regard could be right on the money.

ORNY TO SPILL THE BEANS ON BUSH?

The last question to be addressed in the wake of the news that Reggie Bush and Mike Ornstein are no longer doing business is whether Ornstein is sufficiently pissed off about the manner in which the whole thing fell apart to spill the beans on Bush regarding the benefits he and his family allegedly received while Bush was still playing for USC.

If it can be shown that Ornstein or anyone else gave money or other things of value to Bush or his family while Bush was still playing college football, Bush could be stripped of his Heisman, and the Trojans could be forced to surrender past victories. In theory, the school's 2004 national championship is potentially in jeopardy.

Regardless of whether Ornstein voluntarily chooses to blab (which we think is unlikely), he now has much less of an incentive to conjure up a web of lies to protect Bush if/when the proprietors of New Era Sports & Entertainment file suit against the Bush bunch to recover money paid to the family and other expenses incurred based upon an alleged promise that New Era would represent Reggie. If/when a civil action is filed and if/when Ornstein is put under oath, avoiding a perjury rap might now take precedence over protecting his former star client.

RADIO MONDAY

For anyone interested in hearing the Grand Poobah drone on and on about the weekend that was in the NFL, you'll have three opportunities to be put to sleep on Monday.

First, Florio will drop by AOL's Sports Bloggers Live at 12:05 p.m. EST. The show can be heard live, but also is available for later listening at the SBL home page. Next, Florio will chat with Paul Allen and Jeff Dubay of KFAN in Minneapolis at 12:35 p.m. EST.

Then, at 1:40 p.m. EST Florio will visit with Dino Costa of the Radio Colorado Network.

Listen via your car, via your computer, or via that old-fashioned AM hand-held with the big white ear piece that would be caked with brown wax when you popped the thing out. (Oh, and enjoy your lunch.)

POSTED 6:39 p.m. EST, November 12, 2006

BUCS SHORTHANDED ON DEFENSE

As ESPN prepares to televise a second straight substandard game on Monday night, the 2-6 Tampa Bay Buccaneers will have even less firepower as they attempt to knock off the Carolina Panthers.

According to our friends at PewterReport.com, the Bucs will be missing three defensive starters for their game in Charlotte.

Linebacker Shelton Quarles, defensive end Simeon Rice, and defensive tackle Ellis Wyms did not make the trip with the team, due to their respective injuries. Quarles has a knee injury, Rice has a shoulder injury, and Wyms has an ankle injury.

POSTED 3:02 p.m. EST, November 12, 2006

PORTIS BUSTS HIS HAND

Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who was reportedly expected to be a big part of the game plan against the Eagles, suffered a broken hand early in the game and is not expected to return.

Portis rushed for 25 yards on six carries before suffering the injury.

POSTED 12:42 p.m. EST, November 12, 2006

LEWIS OUT FOR SUNDAY

When Ravens quarterback Steve McNair returns to Nashville for his first game against the team that drafted him in 1995, McNair won't have linebacker Ray Lewis to help get a win.

Lewis had been questionable with a back injury. It's the first game that the two-time NFL defensive player of the year will miss in the 2006 season.

Lewis will be replaced by Mike Smith, a second-year player who was picked in the seventh round of the 2005 draft.

POSTED 12:17 p.m. EST; UPDATED 12:27 p.m. EST, November 12, 2006

LORD FAVRE BEING URGED TO RETURN?

Jay Glazer of FOX Sports reports that Packers coach Mike McCarthy is trying to persuade quarterback Brett Favre to come back for one more year.

"I know what's being said out there and written about it but I'm telling you after watching him first hand that he's part of the solution, not part of the problem,” McCarthy said. "I'd love to have him for one more year."

But McCarthy concedes that he has spoken with G.M. Ted Thompson regarding the importance of Favre making a decision soon after the 2005 season ends.

Our guess? McCarthy knows that asking for a quick decision is likely to force Favre to opt against a return. So McCarthy can say whatever he wants about wanting Favre back -- our guess is that McCarthy wants to get on with the post-Favre era, and that he hopes that asking Favre to make up his mind quickly will be enough to get him to pack it in.

LEWIS LAYS INTO BENGALS

Jay Glazer of FOX Sports reports that Bengals coach Marvin Lewis accused his players of being selfish after last Sunday's game against the Ravens.

According to the sources, Lewis implored his team to "stop worrying about 'me' and stop being so selfish."

The comments to the team came on the same day that receiver Chad Johnson bemoaned the fact that he caught only four passes in the defeat. On the NFL Today on CBS, Johnson said that his primary goal is to help the team win, not generate personal statistics.

If that's the case, maybe Johnson should start leaving those alligator arms in the locker room.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Cowboys WR Terry Glenn (knee) won't play on Sunday against the Cardinals.

Charley Casserly of CBS thinks that Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt is the top candidate to replace Bill Cowher, if Cowher retires. (We think that offensive line coach Russ Grimm has the inside track, but what the hell do we know?)

The Jets are going with only two tailbacks on Sunday.

The rain is falling hard in New England.

POSTED 10:53 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 11:54 a.m. EST, November 12, 2006

CLINTON'S CAREER CAUGHT IN A RUT

Redskins running back Clinton Portis has suffered through injuries and adjustments to a new offense, which has him on pace for the lowest rushing total of his five-year career.

"If I'm at the bottom of the pile and my ankle's back here and my leg's twisted and somebody else dives on my head just from being a [jerk], it's tough when you got that going on," Portis said, according to the Washington Post. "You're trying to protect [preexisting injuries] and make sure somebody don't grab your ankle, and they shoot at your knees, you know what I'm saying?

Though there are reasons for Portis' reduced output, he knows that folks will interpret his limited reps due to a variety of bumps and bruises, which in turn has made it harder for him to get acclimated to the Al Saunders offense, otherwise.

"Society don't look at it like that," Portis said. "Everybody else says, 'He's just not the same back.' They don't look at the wear and tear over the last two years when I've been asked to carry the load I've been asked to carry, even when I don't have the ball. Those be the most physical times in blocking, so I just throw my body around. I'm going to throw it around as long as I can, and when I can't throw it around no more, you'll know."

The end result for the first half of 2006? "I used to know my number was going to be called, and I go quarters without touching the ball right now. So at the same time you get frustrated, but you have to find a way through it."

In our view, we think that the Redskins' use of Portis is no different than the Falcons' efforts to cram the round peg of Mike Vick's talent into the square hole of the West Coast offense. Yeah, Al Saunders is famous (sort of) for his offensive attack. But the challenge when taking the playbook to a new town is to adapt the offense to the strengths of the players who'll run it.

It could be that Saunders and the 'Skins have gotten the message. ESPN's Sal Paolantonio reports that Portis will be the focal point of the game plan on Sunday against the Eagles, and that fullback Mike Sellers will be used as a lead blocker in the hopes of clearing Philly's linebackers out of the way, allowing Portis to get through to the secondary.

SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

The Falcons have temporarily dumped S Lance Schulters.

ESPN's NFL Matchup show this week featured some excellent audio of Giants RB Tiki Barber telling QB Eli Manning how to throw a seam route to TE Jeremy Shockey. (Why do we have a feeling that Tiki's going-away party will be more festive than such situations might ordinarily warrant?)

Hey, Wendi Nix of ESPN -- Elmer Fudd called. He wants his hat back.

ESPN's late Sunday morning SportsCenter recycles a visit to Tiki Barber's apartment, in which he uses fancy words like "abode" and "plethora" and essentially confirms that he's a flaming metrosexual.

ESPN's Bob Holtzman says that Bengals coach Marvin Lewis "ripped [the team] pretty good" after last week's loss to the Ravens, and that RB Rudi Johnson thinks the Bengals can run the table.

Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette makes a good case for the notion that Steelers coach Bill Cowher has lost confidence in his running game.

Michael Irvin still thinks there's only one "r" in the word "frustrated."

Jaws makes up a new word -- "abominal."

Bucs coach Jon Gruden realizes that time could soon be running out on his tenure in Tampa.

Former Titans QB Steve McNair comes home on Sunday.

Chris Mortensen of ESPN says that Cowboys WR Terrell Owens was fined $5,000 for sleeping on the football last Sunday.

Mort also says that the Titans have had zero contact with DT Albert Haynesworth since he was suspended for treating Andre Gurode's face like a hunk of gouda.

Mort says Fat Albert plans to visit with Dr. James Andrews in the hopes of confirming that his ankle doesn't need surgery.

Finally, Mort hints that Texans QB David Carr could be benched.

Coach Tony Dungy of the Colts realizes that the Bills could beat them.

Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post understands why Bill Parcells is tolerating T.O.: Vaccaro thinks that the Tuna has had a portion of his brain removed.

ESPN's Sal Paolantonio says that Redskins WR Santana Moss (hamstring) is expected to play.

Steelers WR Hines Ward is proud of the fact that he gave Broncos S Nick Ferguson a concussion, or two.

The Seahawks have placed DT Marcus Tubbs on injured reserve.

Is Chiefs RB Larry Johnson hitting his stride?

ESPN's Bob Holtzman says that Bengals RB Rudi Johnson will not start on Sunday for disciplinary reasons.

Colts DE Dwight Freeney has 0.5 sacks through eight games.

7-1 or not, there are still questions regarding whether Brian Griese should replace Rex Grossman at quarterback for the Bears.

The Bengals are refusing to call Sunday's home game against the Chargers a "must win" (possibly because they fear that they "won't win").

POSTED 1:23 a.m. EST, November 12, 2006

WEEK TEN FANTASY PICKS AND PUNKS

We're back with another look at the guys to use and the guys to avoid as the fantasy season gets closer and closer to the postseason. As always, the insights come from our pal Charch of Fanball.com.

First, the picks for Week Ten:

Jon Kitna, quarterback, Lions: Quietly having a very good year, Kitna goes against a very bad (with the exception of last week) 49ers defense.

David Garrard, quarterback, Jaguars: Garrard has come on strong now that he's the guy in Jacksonville, and he could have a huge day as the Jags try to reverse a 20-point loss to the Texans from the last game of the Leftwich era.

Anthony Thomas, running back, Bills: With Willis McGahee (ribs) down for a while, Thomas could churn up some big yards against a soft Indy rush defense.

Jamal Lewis, running back, Ravens: The Titans have allowed at least 125 yards rushing in seven games this year, and Lewis has enjoyed a rebirth as coach Brian Billick has gotten more involved in the offense.

Ernest Wilford, wide receiver, Jaguars: Jaguars quarterback David Garrard likes Wilford, who had a big game against the Texans last December when Garrard was the starter.

Donte' Stallworth, wide receiver, Eagles: Stallworth has had two weeks to get his hammy even more healed, and quarterback Donovan McNabb needs to get back on track in a big way after three straight losses.

Next, the guys to avoid this week:

Michael Vick, quarterback, Falcons: The Browns are far softer against the run than against the pass, so look for the Falcons to attack Cleveland on the ground.

Jake Delhomme, quarterback, Panthers: Delhomme has only one touchdown pass in three straight games against Tampa, and Delhomme's overall play has been spotty of late.

Travis Henry, runnng back, Titans: Henry is facing a tough Ravens defense, which allowed its first rushing touchdown in 13 games last week.

Rudi Johnson, running back, Bengals: The Chargers have allowed only one back to top 84 rushing yards this year, and Johnson has surpassed 84 yards rushing only once in the last six weeks.

Muhsin Muhammad, wide receiver, Bears: With Bernard Berrian out, look for Muhammad to get plenty of double coverage. Also, the Giants haven't allowed a receiver to get more than 100 yards since the opening game of the season.

Javon Walker, wide receiver, Broncos: Despite a great game against the Steelers, Walker could get stymied by the Raiders' secondary. They've allowed no more than 89 yards to any receiver, and receiver touchdowns in only three games this year.

POSTED 11:46 p.m. EST, November 11, 2006

MORE DETAILS ON BARNES ARREST

CBS 47 in Jacksonville has obtained some additional details regarding the arrest of Jaguars tackle Khalif Barnes.

Barnes was arrested for driving under the influence after being spotted driving in excess of 100 miles per hour in an area with a maximum speed of 60. He failed a field sobriety test, and Barnes then blew a 0.125 and a 0.121 percent blood alcohol concentration on a breathalyzer.

Although the CBS 47 report says that it's unsure whether Barnes will be disciplined pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy, we can state unequivocally that he won't be. Alcohol-related incidents are addressed under the league's substance abuse policy.

Jaguars cornerback Brian Williams was arrested for DUI earlier this year, and defensive end Bobby McCray recently was arrested for reckless driving.

POSTED 8:52 p.m. EST, November 11, 2006

BARNES BUSTED FOR DUI

Thanks to a tip we received from a reader, and confirmation that we received moments ago from Sgt. Winkler of the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, Profootballtalk.com has learned that Jaguars starting left tackle Khalif Barnes was arrested on Saturday for DUI.

Barnes is not currently incarcerated.

It's possible that it's not the same Khalif Barnes -- but only if there's another Khalif Barnes who was born on the same day as the Khalif Barnes who plays for the Jaguars.

Barnes was a second-round selection of the Jaguars in the 2005 draft. He started 12 regular-season games as a rookie and has started every game this year.

The Jaguars are scheduled to host the Texans on Sunday. It's unknown whether the arrest will affect Barnes' status for the game. It's also unknown whether the team even knows about the arrest.

POSTED 7:31 p.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 8:52 p.m. EST, November 11, 2006

COWBOYS CUT COLEMAN AFTER DUI ARREST

The Dallas Cowboys have severed ties with veteran defensive back Marcus Coleman after Coleman was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated.

Coleman was arrested on Saturday morning, and was released later in the day.

The 11-year veteran was suspended for the first four games of the season for violation of the substance abuse policy. The Cowboys cut him after he was eligible to return in October, and then re-signed him several days later.

Coleman played in three games this season with the Cowboys. As a vested veteran, Coleman will be eligible to receive the balance of his $810,000 salary as severance pay (if he has not previously received severance pay at any time in his career).

Coleman also could file a grievance against the Cowboys for imposing discipline on him by cutting him for an off-field incident. But since he was signed only through the end of the 2006 season and since he likely is eligible to receive severance pay, there is no real reason for such a claim to be made.

Although Coleman is free to sign with any other team, the arrest might result in a one-year suspension of Coleman, based on his recent four-game suspension. (See Robinson, Koren.)

SATURDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Panthers OL Justin Hartwig is considering season-ending surgery on his groin.

Chargers DE Derreck Robinson has been fined $7,500 for a late hit on Cleveland QB Charlie Frye.

Here's a shocker -- the 49ers might stay in San Fran, after all.

Meanwhile, a California legislator has introduced a bill that would prevent the 49ers from keeping the "San Francisco" name if they move to Santa Clara.

Ravens LB Ray Lewis is questionable with a sore back.

More details on the death of Pat Tillman.

The Vikings and Packers are sniping at each other over cut blocking.

Chiefs QB Damon Huard says that he lobbied Pats coach Bill Belichick to sign QB Dan Marino after Tom Brady was injured in the 2001 AFC Championship Game.

Jets coach Eric Mangini is trying to bury the hatchet with Pats coach Bill Belichick. (Our guess is that Belichick would like to bury it in Mangini's spine.)

We don't care how much extra time Vikings WR Troy Williamson spends catching passes from a JUGS machine; a guy either has good hands or he doesn't. (And Williamson simply doesn't.)

Bill Simmons of ESPN.com's Page 2 kind of sticks it to ESPN colleague Kornholio in a column regarding the bizarre realities of sport.

Paul Zimmerman of SI.com sticks it to Len Pasquarelli of ESPN.com in Dr. Z's most recent mailbag.

A reader advises us that NBC is pimping Sunday night's Bears-Giants game during the NASCAR broadcast by referring to the Bears as "undefeated."

Giants WR Plaxico Burress is listed as probable and most likely will play on Sunday night.

Packers G.M. Ted Thompson on the team's performance during the first half of the season: "I'm okay with it."

The teammates of Steelers CB Ike Taylor don't believe he deserves a demotion.

Redskins WR Santana Moss is listed as probable, but his ability to play will be a game-time decision. (If so, then he really isn't "probable" because "probable" means that there is a "virtual certainty" that the player will be available for normal duty.)

Former Steelers QB Terry Bradshaw, who once called current Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger stupid for riding a motorcycle without a helmet, is now taking up for the big fella.

Steelers LB James Farrior was fined $5,000 for kicking Broncos C Tom Nalen.

Broncos CB Domonique Foxworth was fined $7,500 for an illegal hit on Steelers WR Nate Washington.

Redskins CB Shawn Springs is contemplating a late-career move to safety.

Former Pats WR Stanley Morgan presented WR Troy Brown with a ball commemorating Brown's franchise record in receptions.

Is Pats RB Corey Dillon getting frustrated regarding his lack of touches?

Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck (knee) returned to practice on Friday.

Kudos to former Eagles DE Hugh Douglas, for his willingness to ignore the jockocracy and criticize current players on the team.

POSTED 7:54 a.m. EST, November 11, 2006

SALE OF PACMAN'S CAR RAISES EYEBROWS

We've gotten e-mails from several law enforcement types who regard as curious at best the decision of Nashville authorities to auction the Cadillac XLR owned by Pacman Jones and "loaned" to a guy who was arrested as part of a major drug bust in April.

The car is being sold pursuant to the forfeiture provisions of Tennessee law, since the vehicle was implicated in the commission of a crime. In other jurisdictions, the owner of the car can avoid forfeiture by establishing that the owner had no knowledge that the car was being used in the commission of a crime.

We're trying to track down the specifics of Tennessee law in this regard, but it simply doesn't make sense to us that the powers-that-be would sell a $70,000 owned by Jones if Jones was a fully innocent bystander in the process.

Meanwhile, "maurice7523" and "KINGOFCLUBS615" are in a bidding war over the 2004 Cadillac, with the price driven up by $10,000 in only a day or so, to $30,100.

HAYNESWORTH RETURN STILL UP IN THE AIR

Although Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is eligible to rejoin the team after a five-game suspension on Monday, no final decision has been made as to whether the team will accept him.

The key? According to the Nashville Tennessean, it's whether Haynesworth has done enough to address the anger management problems that caused him to stomp on the face of Cowboys center Andre Gurode on October 1.

"I would imagine if he has done everything that we want him to do then I think we have to think very strongly about [allowing him to return],'' Titans General Manager Floyd Reese said. "I think there are a lot of things involved. . . . We've talked to his people and there are things that he wants to do and things he thinks are important, as we do.''

The Titans will receive a one-week roster exemption for Haynesworth, which means that they'll be permitted to bring him back without automatically cutting someone.

Our suggestion? Get rid of the guy. Sure, he's doing a bunch of stuff in an effort to try to remedy his inexcusable conduct. But the thing about inexcusable conduct is that it's (duh) inexcusable. The consequences should have been more than a five-game suspension, and at a minimum the guy should never wear a Titans helmet again.

STERLING CALLS OUT OCHO STINKO

Sterling Sharpe of NFLN suggests that Bengals receiver Chad Johnson a/k/a Ocho Cinco a/k/a Ocho Stinko has developed a case of alligator arms after getting blown up in Week Two by Brian Russell of the Cleveland Browns.

Relying on three different examples of plays in which Señor Stinko has short-armed balls in order to protect himself, Sharpe urges Johnson to be willing to take the big hits in order to help turn the team's fortunes around.

Sharpe tried to soft peddle his message, since it's verboten for former players to diss current ones. But Sharpe came as close as we've ever seen any former player to calling a current player a señorita.

Kudos (for a change) to Sterling.

POSTED 7:09 p.m. EST, November 10, 2006

WARD, WASHINGTON TO GET WHACKED BY LEAGUE, AGAIN?

Earlier on Friday (scroll down for the story), we noted that Steelers receiver Nate Washington received a refund from teammate Hines Ward for a fine imposed by the league after Washington and Ward performed a disturbing post-touchdown dance during the Steelers' Week Seven game against the Falcons.

Washington told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that Ward paid the $5,000 to Washington after the fine had been deducted from Washington's game check.

But the NFL requires that fines be paid by the player against whom they are imposed. We asked NFL spokesman Greg Aiello if this situation fell within the scope of the league's prohibition, and Aiello informed us that it does.

"This is a no-no that will be reviewed for potential discipline," Aiello told us.

Stay tuned.

POSTED 6:35 p.m. EST, November 10, 2006

LEWIS PLAYS RACE CARD ON McNAIR

Never known to shy away from controversy, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis has pulled the pin on a pickle of a potential problem by suggesting in an interview with ESPN's Ed Werder that the treatment of quarterback Steve McNair by the Titans was influenced by race.

"I don't ever want to turn it into a black-white issue," Lewis said. "But it would really puzzle me, seriously, if anybody would ever tell Brett Favre . . . if anybody would ever tell Peyton Manning not to walk into the Indianapolis facility."

Um, Ray. The reason that McNair was barred from the team's facility in the offseason was that if McNair had dropped a 45-pound plate on his foot and were unable to play in 2006, the Titans would have been on the hook for his entire $10 million salary. And the reason that he had a $10 million salary is because the Titans decided to give its long-term starting quarterback a contract that, over the years, paid him many millions of dollars.

And the Titans' franchise selected McNair with the third pick of the 1995 draft while white quarterback Kerry Collins was on the board.

What became of Collins? He was the fifth pick in the draft that year, and he has started in just as many Super Bowls as McNair.

Today, Collins is a member of the Titans, languishing on the bench behind Vince Young, who is black.

Then there's Billy Volek, also white. He was the presumptive replacement to McNair who was rendered irrelevant when Young was selected with the third pick in the 2006 draft.

Of course, we can understand why Lewis might think that the Titans are a racist organization, given that they were the first NFL team to take a chance on Warren Moon.

So, Ray, think before you speak. Please. Race had nothing to do with the manner in which the Titans treated McNair, either when he was treated well or when he was treated poorly.

And to anyone who will insist that Lewis wasn't playing the race card because he went out of his way to say that it wasn't about race, wake up and read the full content of his comments. Lewis essentially said, "It's not about race, but white guys wouldn't get treated this way."

POSTED 6:13 p.m. EST, November 10, 2006

WALSH FIGHTING LEUKEMIA

Hall of Fame coach Bill Walsh, 74, is battling leukemia. Walsh recently disclosed that he has had the disease for several years, and apparently has gotten through the darkest stages of the condition.

"I'm positive, but not evangelistic," he said. "I'm pragmatically doing everything my physicians recommend, and I'm working my way through it.

"I always felt I'll accept my fate as it unfolds. I have no regrets and, when it was life-threatening, I had a lot of considerations about my wife Geri. It appears I've gone through that threshold and it may turn out OK, at least for a while."

Walsh became the 49ers head coach at age 47, and spent ten years with the team, winning three Super Bowls. He also served as the team's G.M. twice, and he spent two stints as the head coach at Stanford. His former assistants include guys like Mike Holmgren, Dennis Green, Brian Billick, and George Seifert.

POSTED 12:05 p.m. EST, November 10, 2006

HINES PAYMENT NOT FINE WITH NFL?

According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the fine imposed on Steelers receiver Nate Washington for a not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-it touchdown dance routine with teammates Hines Ward and Santurdio against the Falcons last month didn't take a chunk out of Washington's take-home pay, because Ward paid him the money back.

Washington, Ward, and Santurdio were fined $5,000 each for joining in with Washington's dance. NFL rules prohibit multiple players from celebrating in this fashion.

The only problem with Ward paying the fine? As we've previously written on several occasions, fines imposed on a player can't be paid by someone else. The issue most recently arose in the preseason, when Saints running back Reggie Bush was fined for wearing adidas shoes and then suggested that adidas would be paying the fine on his behalf.

Does stuff like this happen? We're certain that it does. But the key for the player who gets a refund on his fine payment is to keep . . . his . . . mouth . . . shut.

POSTED 8:58 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 9:32 a.m. EST, November 10, 2006

HECKERT HEADING TO MOTOWN?

There are strong rumors in league circles that the Lions could be eyeing Eagles G.M. Tom Heckert if/when the Lions dump president/CEO Matt Millen and re-build the front office.

Heckert, a 39-year-old Michigan native, accepted a promotion to the G.M. job in Philly when the Vikings were attempting to complete a two-fer by hauling Heckert and former Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress to Minnesota. But because he doesn't have "final say" over the composition of the roster in his current job, the Eagles cannot block him from moving if the Lions job includes such "final say."

And even if the departure of Millen comes this year, next year, or the following year, look for Heckert's name to be on the list of potential replacements.

The timing of the opening could be an impediment to Heckert's interest in the job. As we see it, he might not want to bail on the Eagles after serving as G.M. for only one year.

Several weeks back, we wrote that Millen currently is safe in Detroit, since owner William Clay Ford Sr. simply refuses to make a change. The word in league circles is that Ford's son, Bill Jr., doesn't like Millen and would get rid of him ASAFP if he could.

FALCONS DEFENSIVE BACKFIELD IN SHAMBLES

Maybe Warrick Dunn, Michael Vick, and Roddy White will have to play both ways.

It sounds stoopid, we know, but the rash of injuries to the team's defensive backfield could eventually require the Falcons to take drastic action in order to field enough players in the back four spots on defense.

After Kevin Mathis was lost for the year with a broken neck, Jason Webster is out for a month with a torn groin. Rookie Jimmy Williams rolled an ankle on Thursday. And the team had a scare in practice on Thursday when Allen Rossum's helmet slammed into the knee of Omare Lowe.

Though the chances of players going both ways (not that there's anything wrong with it) are slim, linebacker Michael Boley could ultimately take snaps in the secondary, if things keep snapping on the current players who man those positions.

SPRINT PROVIDES UNIQUE TWIST ON GAME DAY

Our friends at Sprint recently have developed in conjunction with the NFL and AirPlay an innovative new game that allows Sprint/Nextel phone users to attempt in real time to predict the plays in a given NFL game.

For example, questions will include whether the offense will run or pass, where or how far the offense will go, or which player will get the ball.

The program was launched last week, and players can choose any NFL game. Points are scored by each player, and the points are then compared with other users. In some games, players will be able to compete against Chester Taylor of the Minnesota Vikings.

The service is priced at only $3.99 per month, and $9.99 for the full season. To participate, you'll need a Sprint PCS Vision phone, a Sprint Power Vision phone, or a Nextel phone. So if you don't already have one, get one.

And please keep letting us know when you change to Sprint and Nextel, so we can let the folks at Sprint know that our readers are as loyal to us as we are to Sprint.

POSTED 8:46 a.m. EST, November 10, 2006

HALL, RAIOLA GETTING READY TO RUMBLE?

In response to recent comments from Lions center Dominic Raiola expressing an intention to exact revenge on Falcons cornerback DeAngelo Hall for a late hit on Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, Hall on Thursday stated his address and phone number and said: "He can come see me. This goes way beyond football. I don't know who he thinks he's talking to, but that's my address, that's my phone number. Make sure he gets it, and tell him to come see me."

"I ain't said two words to this chump," Hall said added. "If he wants to see me, he can come see me and tell him to bring his homeboys with him."

In our view, new Commissioner Roger Goodell needs to fine both players for their comments. The last thing the league needs is for Raiola to show up in Atlanta with the rest of the offensive line and several Louisville Sluggers for a rumble with Hall and a few of the Falcons. And even if Hall and Raiola bury the hatchet on their own, a failure to punish them for their words will encourage other players in the future to make threats against each other, via the media or otherwise.

There's authority for punishment to be imposed on Raiola and Hall. The Personal Conduct Policy states that any player "who commits or threatens violent acts against co-workers, regardless of whether an arrest is made or criminal charges are brought, shall be subject to evaluation, counseling, and discipline."

So get on it, Mr. Goodell. Smack these guys down before they get into a smackdown with each other. If, after all, an attempted knee to the nuts is worth $15,000, a threat of physical violence should cost some money, too.

POSTED 10:47 p.m. EST, November 9, 2006

PACMAN'S RIDE FOR SALE

Thanks go out tonight to a couple of readers who have tipped us off to the fact that the Cadillac XLR owned by Pacman Jones but "loaned" to an alleged drug dealer is being auctioned off by the State of Tennessee.

Here's the main page for the sale of the car, which as of this posting generated 19 bids and a high of more than $20,000. And this page has a bunch of pictures, including a shot of the "Pac-Man" embroidery.

Background regarding the arrest that resulted in the confiscation of the car is available via WKRN.com, which also has a link to the classic "we gonna get to fightin'" meltdown by Jones that occurred when he was questioned by a reporter about his potential involvement in the drug ring that was broken up in April 2006.

POSTED 7:45 p.m. EST, November 9, 2006

IS OSU THE NEW "U"?

Given that Bills rookie safety Donte Whitner, the eighth overall pick in the 2006 draft, has been arrested for harassment, we've got a semi-serious question.

Is "the" Ohio State University becoming "the" new University of Miami?

Look around. Whitner played for the Buckeyes. So did Santurdio, who was arrested twice in a three-week period earlier this year.

Then there's Titans linebacker Robert Reynolds, who came back to Columbus a few weeks ago and got arrested for allegedly roughing up his ex-wife.

And who can forget Maurice Clarett? Mo-Clo is playing shower room limbo after a string of stupid decisions and bizarre behaviors.

Here's an article from 2004 regarding a rash of criminal incidents involving the football program, which has been led since 2002 by Jim Tressel.

So even though we like Tressel due in part to the tie that he wears on the sidelines, the sad reality is that prison wardens wear ties at work, too.

POSTED 7:27 p.m. EST, November 9, 2006

EAGLES CONTINUE TO LOCK UP YOUNG PLAYERS

Less than a week after signing second-year defensive tackle Mike Patterson and second-year defensive end Trent Cole to long-term deals, the Eagles have inked second-year receiver Reggie Brown to a five-year extension, which will lock him up through 2014.

Per Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com, Brown will receive $10 million in bonus money as part of a package worth $21 million to $27 million.

Brown was a second-round pick of the Eagles in the 2005 draft. As a rookie, he caught 43 passes for 571 yards and four touchdowns. Through eight games in 2006, Brown has 26 catches for 502 yards and five scores. In the latter two categories, he is the team leader.

With each of these three players, the Eagles are willing to make significant short-term financial investments in the hopes that the guys will be long-term contributors. The key, as we've previously explained it, will be for the players to remember what they received in the front end of the deals when they get to the latter years -- and when the market has moved significantly higher due to an ever-increasing salary cap.

And here's another reason for young players to get their bonus money now: The Democrats won control of the House and the Senate, and a tax increase at the high end of the earning spectrum could be in the offing. It makes sense, then, to reel in those multi-million-dollar payments now, while the maximum rate is lower than it might eventually be.

POSTED 1:52 p.m. EST; UPDATED 2:45 p.m. EST, November 9, 2006

49ERS WON'T LEAVE BAY AREA

In a message to fans posted on the team's official web site, John and Denise York state that, although the San Francisco 49ers plan to leave San Francisco, the team will remain in the Bay Area. (Actually, the letter is addressed only to the "49ers Faithful," so we suppose the rest of us are basically reading someone else's mail.)

"The 49ers are part of the fabric of this region and we intend to stay right here where we belong," say the Yorks.

The goal is to build a football-only venue in Santa Clara, which will open in 2012. The team will continue to be known as the "San Francisco 49ers."

Although published reports indicate that the proposed move to the south of the Bay isn't a ploy aimed at leveraging San Fran into a better deal, the letter reads as if the move to Santa Clara is a done deal.

But keep this in mind. As we explained earlier in the day, at least 23 of the other owners have to approve the move.

THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Browns OL Ryan Tucker is back from an "undisclosed illness." (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

The Cardinals are honoring Pat Tillman on Sunday with a bronze statue.

Vikings players are heeding the recent words of CB Antoine Winfield regarding the team's terrible offensive play.

Falcons CB Kevin Mathis has broke his freakin' neck.

Falcons WR Ashley Lelie pulled himself from practice on Wednesday after feeling some discomfort in his groin; he's listed as questionable for Sunday.

Panthers OT Jordan Carstens was hospitalized with a blood clot in his lung.

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis brushes off concerns that his team has selfish players; "Just as long as they don't start talking in the third person, we'll be OK."

Pats S Rodney Harrison (broken shoulder) is out for this week; his availability moving forward is up in the air.

Broncos S John Lynch feels "good" despite suffering his second concussion of the year. (He also said that he's happy to still be playing in Tampa after all these years.)

Steelers LB Joey Porter guarantees a victory over the Saints. (If Pittsburgh loses, will Porter shut up? Forever?)

Peyton Manning is the players' choice as the first guy around whom to build a team. (But how do you build the rest of the team once Peyton the Piggy gobbles up the cap space?)

Bengals OT Willie Anderson has been upgraded to probable, and will likely make his 105th consecutive start on Sunday.

Vikings CB Fred Smoot might not play on Sunday; he's in Mississippi after the death of his half-brother.

Bengals QB Carson Palmer is still re-learning his mechanics.

Steelers LB Joey Porter is ready to kick someone's ass after being fined for threatening to kick someone's ass.

Redskins WR Santana Moss was a limited participant in practice on Wednesday.

POSTED 8:18 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 10:07 a.m. EST, November 9, 2006

NINERS TO FLEE FRISCO

A day after the Oakland A's announced plans to build a baseball-only park in nearby Fremont, the San Francisco 49ers are vacating the city whose name they bear, and are looking to build a new home in Santa Clara.

The decision was disclosed to San Francisco officials in a Wednesday evening telephone call that was "stunning and perplexing" to City officials, who had been talking regularly with the team about plans for a new stadium in San Francisco.

A move would likely destroy San Fran's chances of hosting the 2016 Summer Olympics, since the proposed bid for the games would be tied to the construction of a new stadium at Candlestick Point. Bid documents are due January 22, 2007.

The 49ers have been trying for years to get a new stadium built in San Francisco. In 1997, voters approved a ballot proposition authorizing $100 million for the venue. The City had taken the position that any final plan for the stadium would also have to be approved via an election, and the 49ers were opposed to that approach.

The potential location in Santa Clara is adjacent to the Great America amusement park. If a deal can't be worked out there, owner John York says he'll explore other options in California.

(Psst. Los Angeles.)

Santa Clara is located to the south of the San Francisco Bay, close to San Jose. We assume that, if the team moves to Santa Clara, it would still be known as the "San Francisco" 49ers.

[10:07 a.m. EST UPDATE: NFL spokesman Greg Aiello tells us in response to an e-mail we sent earlier this morning that approval of the other owners is required even for a move to a new stadium, even if the new location is still within the team's current market. Per Aiello, 3/4th of the 32 owners must give the thumb's up to a relocation.]

PASADENA PUNKS NFL

If the 49ers look even farther south than Santa Clara, one city where they won't be landing is Pasadena.

In Tuesday's election, so-called "Measure A" was overwhelmingly defeated by voters. The proposal would have forced Pasadena back to the bargaining table with the NFL.

"There's a strong feeling in Pasadena that the NFL's discussions here were always in the nature of a stalking horse for their discussions in the other communities where it seemed more logical for a NFL team to locate," said Pasadena mayor Bill Bogaard, according to Billy Witz of the Los Angeles Daily News. "Measure A" lost by a 3-to-1 margin.

SHURMUR THE BEST MAN FOR MSU?

Amid rumors that former 49ers and Lions coach Steve Mariucci is quietly in the mix for the Michigan State job, a league source with no dog in the race (or horse in the hunt) has expressed to us in no uncertain terms that, in his view, Eagles quarterbacks coach Pat Shurmur is the better man for the job.

"This guy deserves the job," the source said. "It is his dream job."

Shurmur was an All-Big 10 center at Michigan State, and a team captain. His extensive NFL experience should be very helpful, since we've heard that the Spartans are looking for a guy who will be in a position to demonstrate an ability to get players ready for -- and placed in -- the NFL.

And we're amazed that more schools haven't figured out that kids might be more inclined to go to schools that care about helping them land in the NFL. For example, our red-headed, wart-covered stepsister site recently reported that Michigan has restricted the access of NFL scouts to only one day.

TAYLOR GOES FROM BONUS TO BENCHING

Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor, who received before the season a $6.5 million signing bonus as part of a five-year, $22.5 million deal, is heading to the bench.

Although a report in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette stops short of stating conclusively that Taylor will be riding pine this weekend against the Saints, we've heard that it's a done deal.

One source said that the move "is a result of poor play which is a result of sleep deprivation."

Per the Post-Gazette, Taylor will be on the field in the dime package, which employs six defensive backs.

BURRESS SHOULD SHUT UP

Let's see. The Bears, at 7-1, are coming off of a disappointing home loss to the previously 1-6 Dolphins. And the Bears are now heading to New York for a Sunday night showdown with the 6-2 Giants in the first "flex schedule" game in league history. Both teams realize that the winner of the game will be, at least for a week, the presumptive Super Bowl favorite in the NFC.

So why in the hell is Giants receiver Plaxico Burress running his mouth?

On Wednesday, Burress gave some bulletin board material to the Bears defense by calling out the team's secondary. Asked if the Chicago defensive backs were the best he has seen this year, Burress said: "By far, no. Just looking at them on film, those guys make plays on balls that are thrown straight at them, but it's not like they're covering guys straight up and down [the field]. I haven't seen that.

"Their four guys up front create a lot of havoc," Burress added. "That's why their DBs make plays. I don't know why everybody's acting like they're an exceptional group of corners. There's really not too many guys I worry about lining up against one on one. If they want to leave their guys out on an island [in man coverage], so be it."

Informed of Plax's comments, Bears defensive back Ricky Manning, Jr. had this to say: "He's one of the better receivers in the league, I'll give him that, but he's not a Pro Bowl receiver, either. He's far from the best I've seen, too."

Though banter like that adds spice to a game, it's stoopid for any player to provoke the other team to be even more motivated than it already might be. With the talent levels of the various teams flattened by free agency and the salary cap, intangibles make a real difference.

POSTED 7:45 p.m. EST; UPDATED 9:20 p.m. EST, November 8, 2006

WORST . . . MNF . . . GAME . . . EVER

We pulled the plug on Monday night's Live Blog at halftime partially because we could no longer tolerate piss-poor football, but also because we were perplexed that the NFL would give ESPN such a sh-tty game during November sweeps!

We weren't the only ones who were so turned off that we turned off the game. The Raiders-Seahawks affair was the lowest rated MNF game in the history of the franchise.

The game was viewed in only 7.587 million households -- "beating" the October 18, 2004 matchup between the Rams and Bucs, which was seen in only 8.42 million homes.

Publicly, ESPN is declaring that chicken salad was on the menu. "'Monday Night Football' has been a phenomenal success each and every week," ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz said. "Now, the top 10 most-watched shows in all of cable for 2006 are 'Monday Night Football' games."

But, privately, the powers-that-be in Bristol surely are upset that the NFL stuck them with such crap. Did anyone really think in April that the Raiders would be competitive come November? Hell, no.

The only explanation? We'll call it the NFL's revenge against ESPN, for Playmakers.

Meanwhile, NBC is getting ready to launch the flex schedule portion of its docket. And NBC secured those rights by paying nearly half of what ESPN paid.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

More sniping between Fat Albert and Jack Del Rio.

Bills RB Willis McGahee's rib injury is worse than believed; he's now out indefinitely -- and Anthony Thomas will take his place.

Giants WR Amani Toomer (ACL) will miss the rest of the season; Tim Carter will take his place.

Panthers CB Ken Lucas is questionable with a groin injury.

Falcons G Kynan Forney has landed on injured reserve, and RB Jerious Norwood is questionable with a sprained knee ligament.

Bears LB Brian Urlacher missed practice with a sprained toe.

With his next start, Jets QB Chad Pennington will make back the $6 million in salary that he gave up in order to avoid getting cut.

The Falcons have signed S Lance Schulters.

Vikings RB Chester Taylor missed practice with "overall body soreness." (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald (hamstring) will play against the Cowboys this weekend.

Redskins S Troy Vincent has had a pretty good run of late.

The Cowboys are tussling with the Texas Attorney General over whether the team is required to release the architectural drawings of its new stadium.

T.O. says he'll play better in the second half of the season.

Chiefs QB Trent Green (concussion) is questionable for Sunday.

FOX has revised its web site to indicate that, indeed, Bill Maas is working the 49ers-Lions game. (Maybe the Fords will hire him to replace Matt Millen.)

POSTED 5:53 p.m EST, November 8, 2006

BRAYTON, STEVENS FINED FOR FRACAS

Universally overlooked by the "real" media in the wake of the decision of the NFL to fine Raiders defensive end Tyler Brayton and Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens $25,000 and $15,000, respectively, for their conduct near the conclusion of Monday night's snooze-fest is the reality that the penalties imposed on the watch of new Commissioner Roger Goodell are significantly higher than past fines for intentional, violent contact with an opponent's crotch.

Stevens was fined for trying to kick Brayton in the most sensitive of male regions -- and Brayton was fined for succeeding.

A year ago, the going rate for a shot to the hog and piglets was $7,500. Now, the penalty for a first offense has increased by 333 percent.

"I feel like I let a lot of people down. I embarrassed myself, my family, the Raiders organization, the entire NFL," Brayton said on Wednesday. "For that, I apologize. I kind of allowed my personal frustrations and emotions to get the best of me. My actions are inexcusable, provoked or unprovoked. I also apologize to Jerramy Stevens and the Seattle Seahawks. Doesn't matter what the situation was, I had no right to do that."

Even more amazing to us is that Stevens' penalty for an attempted kick to the cajones was twice the amount that Logan Mankins and Damione Lewis paid for punching an opposing player in the crotch last year.

So kudos to the new Commish for his apparent decision to grab problems like this by the, um, horns.

EVEN MORE RADIO STUFF (AND A LITTLE TV)

We're getting crushed on the radio front today, but we like it. In addition to the spots that we already have scheduled (scroll down) we chatted with Mike Felger of ESPN Radio in Boston on Wednesday afternoon. We'll also talk with Brad Riter of WGR in Buffalo at 8:00 p.m. EST and John Marie of Biz Radio 990 in New Orleans at 10:10 p.m. EST.

Finally, we're scheduled to visit with our pal Dino Costa on his FSN Rocky Mountain show on Thursday night at 10:00 p.m. MST.

POSTED 2:56 p.m. EST, November 8, 2006

MOOCH IN PLAY FOR MICHIGAN STATE?

Despite a report from Adam Schefter of NFLN that former 49ers and Lions coach Steve Mariucci will not become the next head coach of the Michigan State Spartans, we're hearing that the door isn't slammed shut.

Here's what we know. Michigan State wants Mariucci. The fans want him. He has very strong ties with Spartans men's basketball coach Tom Izzo.

The key factor, as we hear it, is Steve's ability to sell Mrs. Mooch on the move back to Michigan. As of now, Mrs. Mooch doesn't want to do it.

And what of Schefter's report? We think he's right on the money -- based on the information that Mooch, a colleague at NFLN, is providing. Really, why would Mooch disclose that he's thinking about leaving before he has made a decision to leave?

So while Mariucci hasn't said "yes" -- he likewise hasn't said "no."

Stay tuned.

LEAGUE TO SMACK BRAYTON FOR NUT KICK

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Tyler Brayton of the Raiders will be fined but not suspended for kneeing Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens in the soft front during Monday night's game between the two teams.

Citing an unnamed source, Mortensen reports that the fine "could" equate to one game check for Brayton, which based on his $630,000 salary equates to $37,058.

If that's accurate, it's a significant departure from precedent regarding such behavior. As we explained in the immediate wake of the incident, the going rate for a chop to the crotch had been $7,500 under former Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

And we've always believed that $7,500 was far too low. The penalty for such misbehavior needs to prevent the player and other players from engaging in the same conduct in the future. Based on NFL player salaries, $7,500 isn't much of a deterrence.

Per Mortensen's report, Stevens also will be fined. Video of the incident seems to indicate that Stevens was going to put his own knee in Brayton's fruit basket before Brayton did the job.

POSTED 12:13 p.m. EST; UPDATED 12:40 p.m. EST, November 8, 2006

SHULER SHAKES OFF WONDERLIC STIGMA

Lost in the fact that former first-round NFL draft bust Heath Shuler won a Congressional seat in North Carolina is the fact that Shuler generated only a 16 when he took the 50-question Wonderlic test as an incoming player.

The exam is routinely administered at the scouting combine in February. Players have 12 minutes to complete the exam. Titans quarterback Vince Young initially generated a seven earlier this year, but was permitted to re-take the test.

The reports of Young's low score prompted yours truly to administer a 15-question sample test to Florio Jr., who was nine at the time. He was given five minutes to answer the questions. He got five of them right.

And that projects to a 16.

As a result, Florio Jr. now wants to move to North Carolina and run for Congress.

MAYBE NO MAAS THIS WEEK?

On Sunday, Bill Brown of FOX Sports told us that analyst Bill Maas would return from a six-week hiatus to work the 49ers-Lions game on November 12.

But NFL.com currently shows that the game will be worked by Ron Pitts and TBA. (That TBA guy taught a few of my classes in college He was a real prick.) USA Today Sports Weekly, in contrast, says that Pitts and Maas will work the game.

Given that the folks at NFL.com have the instantaneous ability to update the site, the "TBA" reference suggests to us that Maas was the guy -- but that he now isn't.

For those of you who have discovered the site only recently and are wondering why in the hell we care, Maas is a guy about whom we complained loudly based on very poor performances (in our opinion) during Week Two and Week Three of the 2006 season.

[12:40 p.m. EST Update: It's getting even more confusing. Bill Brown of FOX has advised us in response to an e-mail that Maas is working the Niners-Lions game. But FOX Sports web site says it will be Ron Pitts and Terry Donahue.)

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Steelers RB Willie Parker on his team: "Last year, we were getting the job done, we just seemed hungrier. This year, it seems like we already got what we want, what's the use? What's the use of going out there and selling out?"

Eagles quarterbacks coach Pat Shurmur could be the next Michigan State coach. (Is there an echo in here?)

Titans OL Daniel Loper (spleen) has been placed on IR.

Mike Reiss of the Boston Globe takes a look at the injury reporting rules.

The Eagles receivers have been eating popcorn.

The Fins worked out several quarterbacks and receivers.

Giants DE Michael Strahan (mid-foot sprain) now says that he is day-to-day. (Maybe Shaun Alexander has been praying for him.)

LB Brian Urlacher says that losing to the Fins proved to the Bears that they are "not invincible."

POSTED 9:09 a.m. EST; UPDATED 10:38 a.m. EST, November 8, 2006

RICKY CAN'T STAY IN CANADA?

Despite comments from running back Ricky Williams indicating that he might choose to play in Canada in 2007 and not return to the Dolphins, agent Leigh Steinberg explained on Tuesday that Williams is contractually obligated to return to the NFL team that holds his rights.

"Part of Ricky's charm and allure is the openness of his personality," Steinberg said, according to the Miami Herald. "However, our legal situation remains what it was. The Toronto Argonauts are obligated to release him at the end of the season. He then will return to his inactive status as a Miami Dolphin with time remaining on his contract."

The key, however, is that Williams has to be reinstated from his banishment before he can return to the Dolphins. So if Williams tries to get reinstated in May 2007 and is rejected based on, for example, a conclusion that he either failed to comply with random drug testing or tested positive on one or more occasions, then he'd have to wait six more months before re-applying -- making him useless to the Fins for the 2007 season.

And as to the multi-million-dollar debt owed by Williams to the Dolphins, he owes that money regardless of whether he plays in Canada or in the United States. Though the Fins have never released the judgment against Williams, which they obtained when he retired prematurely in 2004, the chances of getting any significant money from him are remote, at best.

Bottom line? We continue to suspect that Williams realizes he might not be reinstated to the NFL, and that he therefore has decided to spin his ultimate failure to return as the product of his own free will.

MORE RADIO HOOEY

For Wednesday, we'll be talking with Howard Balzer of 1380 ESPN Radio in St. Louis at 9:20 a.m. EST, Chris McClain of WFNZ in Charlotte at 2:25 p.m. EST, Ryan Chambers and Terry Harvin of ESPN Radio in Macon, Georgia at 5:30 p.m. EST, and Glen Macnow of WIP in Philly at some point in the 10:30 p.m. EST half hour.

And here's the audio of our Tuesday night visit with Todd Wright of Sporting News Radio.

NFL SAYS "YOMOMMA" TO YOUTUBE

The San Jose Mercury News reports that the folks at Internet phenom YouTube.com recently wiped out 3,000 clips of NFL content at the request of the league office.

"[W]e recently asked the site to remove more than 3,000 clips featuring NFL game footage," NFL director of corporate communications Brian McCarthy said. "The site complied.''

We've also received from a reader a copy of a notice that he received from YouTube regarding the posting of NFL copyrighted content. The notice contains the following warning: "Repeat incidents of copyright infringement will result in the deletion of your account and all videos uploaded to that account. In order to avoid future strikes against your account, please delete any videos to which you do not own the rights, and refrain from uploading additional videos that infringe on the copyrights of others."

The Digital Millennium Copyright Act provides the legal rules in this regard, and YouTube is insulated (in theory) against liability for the posting on its site of copyrighted material, if it promptly takes down the content upon the request of the holder of the copyright.

But there's something about that procedure that doesn't sit well with us, frankly. In our 24-hour-news-cycle society, the fact that a clip is available even if for only a day is more than enough time for most interested people to get a look-see.

Look, we're not opposed to having instant (and free) access to NFL highlights. But we also believe that the NFL (and anyone else who holds a copyright on publicly desirable content) should be entitled to have their rights respected without being forced to constantly police whether their rights are being violated. Really, shouldn't the obligation be on the YouTubes of the world to ensure that copyrighted content isn't being posted?

And while it appears that many NFL clips we've seen in the past (such as Ocho Stinko getting jacked up by Brian Russell of the Browns) are long gone, a search for "Tyler Brayton" reveals multiple clips of Brayton's knee knocking the nuts of Jerramy Stevens.

Moving forward, our hope is that the NFL.com web site will include a searchable database of clips that allows fans to pull up short segments with the same ease that YouTube provides. The challenge for the NFL, if it ever would adopt such a service, would be to determine whether to charge for the ability to sift through game footage in this way -- or whether to generate revenue via advertising.

POSTED 11:30 p.m. EST; UPDATED 11:50 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

HARRISON HAS BROKEN SHOULDER BLADE

Patriots safety Rodney Harrison, who missed most of the 2005 season with a torn ACL, suffered a broken shoulder blade in Sunday night's loss to the Colts, according to Mike Reiss of the Boston Globe.

Harrison will not require surgery, but is out indefinitely.

The injury occurred on the Colts' third offensive play of the game, when quarterback Peyton Manning rolled to the left sideline, stopped, set his feet, and delivered a strike to the right middle of the field to receiver Marvin Harrison. Rodney Harrison made the tackle, and sustained the injury.

LATE TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Donovan McNabb is launching his own clothing line. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

The Packers have signed C Scott Wells to a five-year, $15 million contract extension.

Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander will miss a sixth straight game with a broken bone in his foot.

The FBI has concluded that the CMU students who were trying to break in to Heinz Field had no evil intentions.

The Broncos have placed S Sam Brandon on injured reserve, with a torn ACL.

The Fins have signed Two-Ton Toniu Fonoti.

Okay, so Tyler Brayton kicked Jerramy Stevens in the nuts because Stevens had tried to kick him in the nuts?

NFL bust Heath Shuler is better at politics.

NFL Hall of Famer Lynn Swann isn't.

POSTED 8:52 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

PFT MIDSEASON AWARDS: NFC

Earlier on Tuesday, we listed our preseason bests and worsts in the AFC. Now for the NFC, and the league MVP and LVP.

Best quarterback: Donovan McNabb wins it despite a bad showing in his most recent game. There's really no one else. (Okay maybe Drew Brees but we'd still take McNabb. Brees is doing well, but we're still troubled by the news that he's feuding with his mother. Even if it's her fault, she's his momma and he needs to make nice.)

Worst quarterback: Brad Johnson, Vikings. The team has seven offensive touchdowns in eight games, and someone has to get the blame for it.

Best running back: Chester Taylor, Vikings.

Worst running back: Edgerrin "No Gain" James, Cardinals.

Best receiver: Torry Holt, Rams.

Worst receiver: Terrell Owens, Cowboys.

Best offensive line: Giants.

Worst offensive line: Cardinals.

Best defensive line: Bears.

Worst defensive line: 49ers.

Best linebacker: Brian Urlacher, Bears.

Worst linebacker: We really can't think of one who deserves the distinction. How about Shawne Merriman?

Best defensive back: DeAngelo Hall, Falcons.

Worst defensive back: Ricky Manning, Jr., Bears. (We were influenced significantly by that incident at Denny's, and by the fact that he still hasn't been suspended by the league for pleading no contest to felony assault.)

Best rookie: Marques Colston, receiver, Saints.

Worst rookie: Reggie Bush, running back, Saints.

Best coach: Tom Coughlin, Giants.

Worst coach: Dennis Green, Cardinals.

Now for the overall awards . . . .

League MVP: LaDainian Tomlinson, running back, Chargers.

Offensive Player: LaDainian Tomlinson, running back, Chargers.

Defensive Player: Brian Urlacher, Bears.

League LVP: Terrell Owens, receiver, Cowboys.

POSTED 7:59 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

WINFIELD VENTS ON VIKES' OFFENSIVE "O"

According to both the St. Paul Pioneer Press and the Minneapolis Star Tribune, Vikings cornerback Antoine Winfield is sounding off regarding the team's inept offensive output.

On Sunday, the Vikings managed only three points against a woeful 49ers defense. Six days before, the Vikings scored no offensive points against the Patriots.

Said Winfield on Monday: "You have to score touchdowns in this league. Field goals, you're not going to win too many games doing that. After eight weeks, you would like to see some improvement.

"I don't know what it is. Whether it's the play calling, I don't know."

Winfield said he thinks the offense is too predictable. "You know, run every first and second down, throw third down," Winfield said before stopping himself. "I'm going to leave that alone. Stop right there. I might say something I'm not supposed to."

A year ago, Winfield was vocal regarding the 2-5 team's defensive schemes. And the Vikings responded with six straight wins.

This time around, the Vikings have two more wins and one less loss. But with only seven offensive touchdowns in eight games, we think that the problems run far deeper than any one outspoken defensive back can fix.

POSTED 7:35 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

EDWARDS STICKING WITH HUARD?

Chiefs coach Herm Edwards conceded on Tuesday that he might stick with backup quarterback Damon Huard, even after starter Trent Green is cleared to play again following a Week One concussion.

"The one thing you can never count out is chemistry on this football team, and that's very important," Edwards said. "I know that, I'm a former football player, I'm a coach, but I also understand there's a certain chemistry you have."

The Chiefs are 5-2 in Huard's seven starts, and their overall record is 5-3.

"If we were the other way, 3-5, we wouldn't be talking about this," Edwards said. "We'd be saying, 'Yeah, when is [Green] coming back?' But now, we're winning, and it's 'What are you going to do when he comes back?' That's OK. That's a good problem to have."

For Green, it could be the second time in his career that he lost a starting job due to injury. In 1999, a torn ACL suffered in the preseason opened the door for Kurt Warner to win the NFL MVP award twice in three seasons.

It's a good move for Edwards, in our view. There's no reason to pull the plug on the guy who is getting it done, especially when Green has been out of commission for so long. Ideally, however, Edwards will have Green ready to play if Huard hits a rough patch later in the season as the Chiefs continue an uphill climb toward the postseason.

POSTED 3:12 p.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 5:10 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

SHURMUR TO SPARTANS?

A league source tells us that Eagles quarterbacks coach Pat Shurmur has emerged as the primary candidate for the head coaching job at Michigan State University, and that he is expected to get the job. Another source tells us that there is mutual interest, but that it is "nowhere near a done deal."

Shurmur has been with the Eagles for eight years, and he has been the quarterbacks coach for five seasons. He was an All-Big Ten center and team captain at Michigan State, and he is the nephew of the late Fritz Shurmur, defensive coordinator of the 1996 Packers.

Michigan State recently announced that head coach John L. Smith won't return in 2007. Former 49ers and Lions coach Steve Mariucci has indicated that he is not interested in the job, per Adam Schefter of NFLN. We reported last week that the Spartans wanted to lure former Michigan State head coach Nick Saban back to East Lansing from Miami, but we've learned in various discussions with league and industry sources that Saban genuinely has no interest in the job.

DOMINIC SAYS HE'LL GET DEANGELO

Lions center Dominic Raiola is upset about a cheap shot that he believes Falcons cornerback DeAngelo Hall put on Lions quarterback Jon Kitna. And Raiola is vowing his revenge.

"Twelve years down the road, whoever I'm playing for, I'm going to get him," Raiola said Monday. "Promise you. Promise you. I promise you, if I see him on the field again, I will try to take his head off. That's all I have to say about that. I'm ready to go back and play right now."

I am Dominic Raiola. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Raiola says he'll get his revenge even if he's retired. "I might tackle him out of the stands," Raiola said. "I might get him if I see him on the street, I don't know. That was definitely cheap. . . . Obviously, he was trying to take Kitna out and inflict more pain."

Under the NFL's schedule rotation, the Lions will play the Falcons and the other three NFC South teams in 2008. The two teams will meet again in 2007 only if they finish in the same position in their respective divisions. Currently, the Lions are in last place in the NFC North, and the Falcons are in second place in the NFC South.

Whenever the two teams meet again, Mr. Raiola is likely to get a letter from the league advising him that, if he acts on his threats, the penalties will be significant.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Giants DE Michael Strahan could be out as few as two and as many as eight weeks with a Lisfranc injury. (A reader tells us that during the radio broadcast of the game in which Strahan suffered the mid-foot sprain, Carl Banks described it as an "Anne Frank" injury. Seriously.)

Falcons CB Kevin Mathis (spine) is out for the year and might be forced to retire; Jimmy Williams, Omare Lowe, or Allen Rossum will replace Mathis as the nickel back.

Giants WR Plaxico Burress, who missed Sunday's game with back spasms, "feels better."

Reminded that Titans coach Jeff Fisher once said that the Titans and Jaguars were not rivals because a rivalry requires "two good teams," Jaguars DE Paul Spicer said after Jacksonville's 37-7 win: "He's absolutely right. Unfortunately there is only one good team in this [series] and it's us. Jeff once said Alltel Stadium was his second home. Well Jeff, you just got your eviction papers."

The Bucs are sticking with QB Bruce Gradkowski for the rest of the season.

Redskins WR Santana Moss (hamstring) is uncertain whether he'll play this weekend.

Lord Favre has made more than $750,000 over the past two years in licensing and royalty fees.

The Steelers are on pace for their worst record since the AFL-NFL merger.

In response to being compared to an "imperious professor" by a Seattle columnist, Joey Sunshine said: "What does 'imperious' mean? Once I look up the word, I'll know if I'm flattered or not." (It reminds us of Muhammad Ali's response when Howard Cosell called him "truculent." Said Ali: "Whatever 'truculent' means, if it's good, I'm that.")

Another day, another Eagles player who'll potentially become disgruntled when the market catches up with his long-term contract.

Thanks to a hit applied by a guy who has since tested positive for steroids, Chiefs RB Priest Holmes likely won't play at all in 2006.

The Rams are getting banged up.

If they beat the Bills on Sunday, the Colts will be the first team in NFL history to open consecutive seasons with 9-0 records. (If only they gave out a Lombardi for that feat.)

The Chargers and Broncos will get together on November 19 in prime time.

POSTED 2:15 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

PFT MIDSEASON AWARDS: AFC

Sure, plenty of people will be crowning the asses of the best of the bunch at various positions, given that the NFL is officially at its midpoint of the season.

So why should we exclude ourselves from the fun? But instead of merely lavishing praise we'll also point out those performances that deserve criticism.

We'll look at the best and the worst in each conference, in various categories.

First, the AFC.

Best quarterback: We decided on Sunday that we'd give it to the winner of the most recent Game of the Century. Peyton Manning, Colts.

Worst quarterback: We decided on Sunday that we'd give it to the loser of the game featuring the two prime candidates. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers.

Best running back: It's a toss up between two studs from the AFC West, but we'll give it to Chargers tailback LaDainian Tomlinson, primarily because he's on the Poobah's fantasy team.

Worst running back: LaMont Jordan, Raiders.

Best receiver: Marvin Harrison, Colts. (We initially gave it to Reggie Wayne, but Harrison's catch for the ages against the Pats earned him the nod.)

Worst receiver: Randy Moss, Raiders. Too much talking, too many drops, not enough results.

Best offensive line: Chiefs, in light of what they had to work with.

Worst offensive line: Raiders.

Best defensive line: Patriots.

Worst defensive line: Colts.

Best linebacker: Shawne Merriman, Chargers. Because he has 8.5 sacks.

Worst linebacker: Shawne Merriman, Chargers. Because he got those sacks after testing positive for steroids.

Best defensive back: Champ Bailey, Broncos.

Worst defensive back: Pacman Jones, Titans.

Best rookie: Laurence Maroney, running back, Patriots.

Worst rookie: Santurdio, receiver, Steelers. (We changed it as the result of multiple e-mails supporting the prior selection, Mario Williams.)

Best coach: Bill Belichick, Patriots.

Worst coach: Art Shell, Raiders.

Still to come -- NFC awards and our NFL midseason MVP and LVP.

POSTED 12:05 p.m. EST; UPDATED 1:01 p.m. EST, November 7, 2006

RICKY MIGHT STAY IN CANADA

Harvey Fialkov of the South Florida Sun-Sentinel says that running back Ricky Williams hasn't decided whether to apply for reinstatement to the NFL, and that he might play next season in Canada.

Our take? Given Williams' history, we cannot rule out the possibility that Williams knows that he would not achieve reinstatement if/when he applies for it. Per NFL rules, a player banished for at least one year due to multiple violations of the substance abuse policy must continue to adhere to the terms of his treatment plan -- and he also must continue to submit to random drug testing.

Former Vikings running back Onterrio Smith, for example, was denied reinstatement earlier this year, following his one-year banishment. Smith was eligible to re-apply in October, but after getting cut in the preseason from a CFL team Smith might have chosen a certain ability to continue to smoke weed over a very uncertain ability to continue to play football.

If, in this case, Williams knows that the NFL will say "no" when May comes around, why not make it simply look like Ricky is the one making the decision to walk away?

And since the entire process is confidential, there would be no reason for even the Dolphins to know that Ricky has been unable to qualify for reinstatement, if he never actually applies for reinstatement.

Or maybe he really just is a total whack job who prefers playing in a league that pays him far less money, on a team with little or no run blocking.

WHERE'S SUZY?

ESPN Monday Night Football sideline reporter Suzy Kolber has curiously been absent for two of the last four games.

Even more curious is the fact that the only explanation provided on the air is that she's "at home" and will be back next week.

ESPN spokesperson Mac Nwulu told us via e-mail that "Suzy Kolber was off for personal business." Pressed for more information as to the reason for Kolber missing essentially one-eighth of her total NFL assignment, Nwulu reminded us that Kolber has other ESPN duties.

"ESPN, much like any good company that values and nurtures its employee's work-life balance," Nwulu said, "supports its employees taking necessary day(s) off to address their 'personal business'."

The fact that some might regard this as a non-story highlights, in our view, the irrelevance of the sideline reporters. If, after all, Danny DeTirico or Joey Sunshine or Kornholio were absent with only a cursory "he's at home this week and will be back next week," we have a feeling it would be a pretty big deal.

So since ESPN markets the crew as a three-man, two-woman team, we think it's significant when 20 percent of the squad simply isn't at work.

Do we know why she's been gone? We've heard some things, and we're working on nailing it down.

POSTED 11:30 a.m. EST; UPDATED 11:49 a.m. EST, November 7, 2006

A CRY FOR HELP FROM CINCY

In light of recent events involving the Cincinnati Bengals, including Sunday's post-game meltdown from Chad Johnson a/k/a Ocho Stinko and Sunday's in-game lollygagging from receiver Chris Henry a/k/a Uno Puko, we've heard from a team source in Cincy who is sounding off regarding the situation there.

"We are a bunch of f--koffs and no one seems to care," said the source. "It's scary how bad some of the players in our locker room act."

Should anyone really be surprised by this? It's the natural consequence of collecting turds. And there are turds a-plenty on the Bengals roster.

Though the Bengals still have hope for a solid season, the reality is that the turds tend to sulk and pout and piss and moan when things go poorly, instead of putting their heads down and trudging forward.

For the franchise's sake, we're hoping that the good guys in the locker room (and there are more than a few) can influence positively the players who might be inclined to follow the turds.

RADIO UPDATE

We apologize to our radio friends from Friday, whom we forgot to mention in this space prior to our weekly visits. Things got a little hectic late in the week.

This week, we had to bump most of the Monday appearances, but the Poobah was able to squeeze in a segment with the good folks at AOL's Sports Bloggers Live. (Florio was on just before some guy named Tony Dorsett. That name vaguely rings a bell.)

On Tuesday, we'll visit with Larry Michael and Bram Weinstein of "Redskins Lunch" on Triple X ESPN Radio at 12:10 p.m. EST, Paul Allen and Jeff Dubay of KFAN in Minneapolis at 12:35 p.m. EST, The Dino Costa Show at 2:15 p.m. EST, and the Big Dog Steve Duemig of WDAE in Tampa at 5:15 p.m. EST.

We'll finish the evening off with our weekly visit with Todd Wright of Sporting News Radio at 10:25 p.m. EST.

On Wednesday, we're currently scheduled to talk to Howard Balzer of 1380 ESPN Radio in St. Louis at 9:20 a.m. EST, Chris McClain of WFNZ in Charlotte at 2:25 p.m. EST, and Glen Macnow of WIP in Philly at some point in the 10:30 p.m. EST half hour.

Most of the web sites have streaming audio. So if you aren't in one or more of the various cities in which the shows are broadcast, click the links and follow your nose.

NEW TEN-PACK IS UP -- AND WE'VE ALREADY CHANGED OUR MIND ON SOMETHING

We spent the time that we would have devoted to the Live Blog of the second half of Monday night's horrendous matchup between the Raiders and the Seahawks hammering out this week's ten takes on the most recently completed slate of games.

And we already need to expand on one our of observations for a moment.

We argue in item number 4 that the Cowboys got screwed when the officials called a 15-yard penalty on Kyle Kosier for grabbing the face mask of Redskins safety Sean Taylor, who was trying to return a blocked field goal attempt for a game-winning score. Taylor was ultimately tackled with no time on the clock, but the 'Skins got another 15 yards tacked on and one untimed down, and cashed in with the game-winning field goal.

The text of the official rules, however, contradicts our belief that only a five-yard flag should have been thrown.

The relevant provision is found at Rule 12, Section 2, Article 5: "No player shall grasp the face mask of an opponent."

The penalty is five yards for "[i]ncidental grasping" and 15 yards for "[t]wisting, turning, or pulling the mask."

In this case, there technically was some minor twisting of Taylor's head. But it was minor. Under normal circumstances, that same action likely would have drawn only a five-yard penalty.

As we explained in the Ten-Pack, the fact that coaches could (and possibly do) instruct special teams players to throw caution to the wind to get the guy down in that type of a situation could cause the officials to err on the side of calling the more significant version of the penalty.

POSTED 11:33 p.m. EST, November 6, 2006; LAST UPDATED 12:13 a.m. EST, November 7, 2006

CARDS LOOKING AT FASSEL AS A CONSULTANT

A league source tells us that the Arizona Cardinals are looking at the possibility of bringing in former Ravens offensive coordinator Jim Fassel as an offensive consultant.

The move, in our view, could be part of a broader plan by the Bidwell family to get current coach Dennis Green to quit. Green likely will consider the addition of Fassel as a vote of no confidence in Green's ability to turn around a talented-but-terrible 1-7 team.

If Green quits, he gets no severance package. If they fire him, he's owed the balance of his contract, which runs through the end of the 2007 season.

Fassel, who preceded Tom Coughlin as the head coach of the Giants, previously served as the Cardinals' offensive coordinator, but he wasn't offered the head coaching job at the time that the vacant position went to Green.

This is Green's third season as the head coach. In the 87-year history of the franchise, the longest tenure of any coach with the team has been only six seasons.

BENGAL IMPLOSION PREDICTED

A league source with thorough knowledge of the defending AFC North champions predicts that, indeed, the Cincinnati Bengals are on the brink of an implosion.

In addition to the well-publicized comments of receiver Chad Johnson after he had only four catches for 32 yards in a loss at Baltimore, quarterback Carson Palmer reamed receiver Chris Henry for failing to leap in an effort to catch a last-second Hail Mary pass.

The root of the problem, as several league insiders have been telling us, is that coach Marvin Lewis has been unconcerned with character as he has built the Bengals into a playoff contender. Now that the team is struggling, the players of questionable makeup are going to undermine the efforts of leaders, like Palmer, to get the thing on the right track.

BOLLER SIGNS WITH ATHLETES FIRST

At a time when league insiders believe that the looming two-year suspension of agent David Dunn will cause clients to avoid him, Ravens backup quarterback Kyle Boller has hired Dunn's firm, Athletes First.

Boller previously was represented by Octagon.

Though Boller has been supplanted as the starter in Baltimore by Steve McNair, the 2003 first-rounder is only 25 and might resurface in Baltimore or elsewhere as a starter down the road. He is under contract with the Ravens through 2007.

BRAYTON READY FOR SOME PRO WRESTLING

Near the end of the Monday night "game" (and we use that term very loosely) between the Raiders and the Seahawks, Raiders linebacker Tyler Brayton punctuated a post-play pushing match with Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens by pushing his kneecap into Stevens' nutsack.

The move prompted a collective "oooooooh" from the sock puppets, and a prompt ejection of Brayton.

Stevens, who apparently was caught square in the biscuits and sausage by Brayton, didn't seem to react in the way that most men would. But NFL players usually don't wear cups. So either Jerramy Stevens is the exception to the rule -- or he simply has no testicles.

In 1999, then-Vikings defensive end Duane Clemons was fined $7,500 for punching Cowboys tackle Flozell Adams in the groin during a Monday night game. In 2004, Saints special teamer Steve Gleason was fined $5,000 for a crotch punch. Last year, Pats offensive lineman Logan Mankins was fined $7,500 for punching Broncos defensive end Ebenezer Ekuban in the crotch, and then-Rams defensive tackle Damione Lewis was fined the same amount for punching then-Saints center LeCharles Bentley in the LilCharles.

The question, as we see it, is whether new Commissioner Roger Goodell will up the ante. We've always thought that the fine for this kind of action should be at least five figures, and that a one-game suspension should be considered.

Given the precedent set by past events under Paul Tagliabue's watch, this is a prime example for Goodell to show that there's a new sheriff in town.

And that he plans to get tough on guys who get rough with another man's stuff.

POSTED 9:22 a.m. EST; UPDATED 9:44 a.m. EST, November 6, 2006

OCHO CINCO ES IMPLODINGO

We knew it would happen.

Ever since we heard about the halftime hissy-fit that Chad Johnson a/k/a Ocho Cinco pitched during that January playoff loss to the Steelers because, even though the team was winning, he wasn't getting enough looks, we sensed that Señor Cinco was a candidate for a meltdown if he ever found himself not catching enough passes on a consistent basis.

And it's happening.

After Sunday's loss to the Ravens, Johnson teed off regarding the fact that he got only four catches for 32 yards.

"Four -- that sucks," Johnson said. "You have your best player, and you can't even get him the [expletive] ball. I just go out there and get the job done. But now, all of a sudden, there is a problem this year. How many catches did I get? Four. That [expletive] sucks, too."

"All I can do as an individual is go out and make plays and give (my) best effort. Also, to be given the opportunity to make plays. Four for 32 -- that's [expletive] ridiculous. You've got to be [expletive] kidding me. When Christmas comes around, I might as well be a hood ornament. Because all I've been so far is a decoration -- a decoration sitting out there all pretty, ready for people to jump on."

The fact that four is also the number of the team's wins and the team's losses surely makes it even harder for Johnson to stomach, assuming that he places any value whatsoever on team goals (and we're not sure that he really does).

Moving forward, the challenge for coach Marvin Lewis will be to get Johnson's head in the game -- and the only way to do that is to get him the ball early and often.

But since the opponents now know that taking Johnson out of the game might set the stage for him to become a halftime and/or sideline distraction, look for opponents to try even harder to render Ocho Cinco irrelevanto.

MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

While we think it's great that Miami beat Chicago on Sunday, Armando Salguero's article in the Miami Herald reads like the Fins beat the Bears in February, not November.

The Dolphins unexpectedly deactivated DT Dan Wilkinson on Sunday.

Titans OL Daniel Loper suffered a lacerated spleen on Sunday.

Jags RB Fred Taylor has guaranteed that Jacksonville will beat the Texans next week.

The local media in Indy is now turning its attention to the possibility of a 16-0 season.

From the "Man, that Free College Education Makes a Real Difference in These Kids' Lives" file, Broncos CB Darrent Williams said after his team's win over the Steelers: "I ain't got no sympathy for nobody."

Rams RB Tony Fisher might have a torn ACL.

Of all people, the Tuna gave the Redskins some bulletin board material by criticizing tackle Jon Jansen and the team's cornerbacks; said Jansen after the game, "We answered a call from a guy who said some things about me and about our team."

POSTED 8:10 a.m. EST; UPDATED 8:39 a.m. EST, November 6, 2006

STRAHAN OUT FOR SEVERAL WEEKS?

Although more tests are necessary before the Giants will know the extent of defensive end Michael Strahan's mid-foot sprain, such an injury always conjures the possibility that the player has a Lisfranc injury, which usually means an extended absence.

X-rays of the injury that Strahan suffered in the second quarter of Sunday's win over the Texans were negative, which is positive. But the Lisfranc sprain usually entails no broken bones.

"My foot got caught in the turf," said Strahan, according to the New York Post. "There is nothing more explanatory than that. I don't know anything about the foot. I will know [Monday]."

Strahan is the latest Giants defender to suffer an injury that might cause him to miss some playing time. Linebacker LaVar Arrington suffered a ruptured Achilles' tendon two weeks ago, and defensive end Osi Umenyiora is out with a hip injury. Cornerback Sam Madison and linebacker Brandon Short also were inactive on Sunday due to injuries.

CMU STUDENTS HELD ON $1 MILLION BOND EACH

The two Carnegie Mellon students who tried to break in to Heinz Field early Sunday morning are being held in custody, and bail has been set at $1 million each for their release.

Though authorities have pointed to no hard evidence that Sudeep Paul, 21, and Anand Durvasula, 20, were attempting to plant explosives or otherwise carry out any type of terrorist attack, no one is screwing around with this one in light of the reality that places where thousands of citizens gather are prime targets for such activities.

And because it's still unclear what they were trying to do, it's prudent (in our view) to rule out nothing -- and to assume that, if they were up to something evil, there might be accomplices who were not arrested.

The men initially said that they had tickets for Sunday's game, and that they merely wanted to check out their seats. Then, they said that they were going to shoot the final scene for Durvasula's music video on the field. A video camera and a tripod were found in their vehicle, a Lexus SUV.

But if they were going to shoot the video inside Heinz Field, wouldn't they have, you know, brought the camera when they climbed the fence?

And given that both of these kids are (or, as the case may be, "were") students at one of the top schools in the country (and we're not just saying that because the Poobah went there . . . okay maybe we are), how can it be that they were stoopid enough to assume that the facility wasn't under 24-hour video surveillance?

Also, they weren't drunk, and they agreed to a police search of their off-campus residences.

We don't know what to make of it. But if these guys were up to something sinister, it's a relief to know that the bad guys still aren't very bright.

POSTED 5:58 p.m. EST; UPDATED 6:05 p.m. EST, November 5, 2006

RETURN OF THE MAAS

Just as we were prepared to declare his prospects for future employment with FOX Sports roughly equivalent to Bill Clinton's with FOX News, we've learned that analyst Bill Maas will indeed return.

Bill Brown of FOX Sports told us via e-mail on Sunday afternoon that Maas will work "selected" games for the network over the balance of the season, including the November 12 contest between the Lions and the 49ers.

FOX will televise six games on November 12. The total would have been seven, but the game between the Bears and the Giants was shifted to prime time.

NO LIVE BLOG TONIGHT

We've decided to cancel tonight's Live Blog, for four reasons. First, two in a week is a little more than we can handle. Second, the Poobah has some law work to do tonight. Third, the NBC crew doesn't provide nearly the same fodder for fun-making that the Monday night crew does. Fourth, we decided that we just want to watch the game.

We'll do one tomorrow night for the Raiders-Seahawks game. Even if the game stinks, there will be plenty of stuff for us to talk about.

POSTED 3:11 p.m. EST; UPDATED 3:18 p.m. EST, November 5, 2006

BILLICK DROPS AN "F" BOMB -- WILL FCC DROP THE HAMMER?

Though we didn't witness it live, several readers have advised us that Ravens coach Brian Billick dropped an audible "F" bomb during the third quarter of Sunday's Bengals-Ravens game.

The consensus from our readers is that Billick said to the officials: "That's close enough for a f--king measurement."

No bleep. No delay. Nothing.

We've raised this issue in the past regarding NFL broadcasts, and we wonder if this will be enough to get the FCC to fine CBS for sticking a microphone in an area where profanity is profuse, without employing a delay or any other tactic aimed at preventing offensive language from penetrating the homes of viewers.

Earlier this year, President Bush raised to $325,000 the maximum fine that can be imposed for bad language and other offensive content.

Local stations owned by CBS Corporation were fined $550,000 for broadcasting images of Janet Jackson's breast during halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII. The FCC also issued more than $3.3 million in fines against more than 100 CBS affiliates for an episode of Without a Trace that included a scene simulating an orgy. Those fines were issued pursuant to the previous maximum of roughly $32,500.

1985 REVISITED?

Twenty-one years ago, the Miami Dolphins helped preserve the franchise's unprecedented 17-0 campaign of 1972 by hanging the only loss on the Chicago Bears, in a late-season Monday nighter that was supposed to be a Super Bowl preview.

This time around, an inferior Fins team, hobbling through a season of high expectations at 1-6, is on the brink of knocking the Bears from the ranks of the unbeaten.

Miami was a 13.5-point underdog for the game at Soldier Field, and as of this posting the Fins lead 21-10, late in the third quarter.

POSTED 12:18 p.m. EST, November 5, 2006

MAAS DONE AT FOX?

There were reports in the offseason that analyst Bill Maas would be working less games for FOX this season.

The total might be three.

Maas worked the first three weekends of the regular season, but disappeared when the bye weeks commenced. Two weeks ago, FOX wedged sideline reporter Tony Siragusa into the booth in lieu of bringing back Maas.

And we're now told that FOX has been lining up other potential analysts for the back end of the slate in coming weeks, when FOX could have as many as seven Sunday afternoon games, depending on whether NBC plucks the Sunday nighter via flex scheduling from FOX or from CBS.

In past years, Maas was praised by the likes of Paul Zimmerman of SI.com, who does an excellent annual break down of the announcing teams. But more recently Maas has slipped, possibly as he has postured to be someone who he isn't (e.g., the next John Madden) instead of who he is.

We studied two of his three performances this season, and we thought the guy was dreadful. He also has shown a thin skin in the past, by taking on a North Carolina journalist who criticized him.

On the bright side, Bill, you apparently won't have to worry about being criticized any more.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Jimmy Johnson of FOX predicts a tight game between the Bears and the Fins. (In other words, take the Baker's Dozen of points.)

Jay Glazer of FOX reports that the broken bone in Seattle RB Shaun Alexander's foot unexpectedly is healing from side to side, and not from the outside in; however, he could soon be cleared for straight-ahead running.

Glazer reports that LB Joey Porter of the Steelers was fined $15,000 for verbal abuse of an official.

Finally, Glazer says that Chiefs QB Trent Green is having a hard time with his new Revolution helmet, since the facemask hits his shoulder pads; he still isn't cleared to play (but not because of the facemask).

Charley Casserly of CBS suggests that the Jets might be wise to pull a Steve McNair on RB Curtis Martin, and prevent him from working out at the facility until he reduces his 2007 salary.

POSTED 11:04 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 11:47 a.m. EST, November 5, 2006

TEAMS TARGETING PALMER'S KNEE?

As it turns out, ESPN's NFL Matchup isn't only about breaking down film. It's also breaking some news.

On this weekend's edition, the show featuring Sal Paolantonio, Ron Jaworski, and Merril Hoge contains a surprising revelation.

Film study of last week's game between the Bengals and the Falcons indicate that Cincinnati quarterback Carson Palmer was instinctively lifting his left foot off of the ground in order to protect his left knee from contact.

And, as Paolantonio candidly observed after Jaws broke down the tape, "It is obvious guys are diving for Carson Palmer's knees. Memo to Park Avenue. The head of officiating, Mike Pereira, needs to look at that tape."

Jaworski then suggested that it has been a common phenomenon this year in every Bengals game: "It's been pretty consistent, you know, when you watch Carson Palmer. I've looked at all the tapes and people are going down low at Carson Palmer."

(Heh. Heh heh. He said "down low.")

In January, a low hit to the left leg from Steelers defensive end Kimo von Oelhoffen blew apart Palmer's ACL. Palmer endured a grueling rehab process in order to get ready for the start of the 2007 season, and there were reports in the preseason suggesting that he was not mentally ready to stand in the pocket and expose his lead leg to another injury.

So what next? Paolantonio reports on ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown that Patrick Kerney was fined $5,000 for a low hit on Palmer last week, and that the league office is putting out the word that "swan dives" at Palmer's knees (or any other quarterback's knees) will not be tolerated.

Looking at it more broadly, can the league penalize players for "psyching out" a guy by diving at his leg and missing? There can be no penalty unless there's contact. If guys are going to dive at Palmer's left leg and force him to lift his left foot in order to protect the knee (and at the same time screw up his throws), what can be done?

Under the current rule book, we're not aware of a penalty for attempted roughing the passer. Look for defensive teams to continue to use this tactic against Palmer, without incident as long as they don't actually hit the leg. And look for the competition committee to take up the question of whether the mere act of diving at a quarterback's knee, even if there's no impact, should draw a penalty.

JONES TARGETING FISHER FOR POST-TUNA REGIME

Chris Mortensen of ESPN reports that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is expected to pursue Titans coach Jeff Fisher when Bill Parcells leaves the team.

We recently reported on rumors in league circles that Jones wants Fisher to be the next coach of the Cowboys.

Mort's report comes from sources close to former Browns coach Butch Davis, who had an eyeball on the 'Boys job but who apparently learned that the "speculation" (i.e., our report) regarding Fisher was accurate.

The only glitch for Jones is that the Titans hold a one-year option on Fisher, which means that he might not be available until 2008. Although Mortensen says that Tennessee owner Bud Adams will exercise the option, Adams will be required to pay Fisher the average of the five highest-paid coaches in the league, based on the specific terms of Fisher's deal.

CARNEGIE MELLON STUDENTS BUSTED FOR TRYING TO BREAK IN TO HEINZ FIELD

The Associated Press reports that two students from Carnegie Mellon University (coincidentally the Grand Poobah's undergraduate alma mater) were arrested for attempting to break into Heinz Field.

They were charged with criminal trespass and criminal conspiracy.

The students attempted to climb a fence at the stadium at 2:00 a.m., and were spotted by surveillance.

Though there's no indication that the suspects intended to wreak any particular havoc, the AP story kinda-sorta implies that there was a potential terrorism twist to the whole thing.

For now, we're going to assume it was couple of kids who had a few too many beers and not enough cash on hand to buy a huge basket of fries at The Original in Oakland, and were hoping to maybe snap a few pictures on their cell phones while running around on the field.

MERRIMAN UPDATE

Chris Mortensen of ESPN offered up on Sunday morning some interesting tidbits regarding Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, who'll commence his four-game suspension today, missing the team's home game against the Browns.

Per Mortensen, Merriman has been urged by the NFLPA to submit the supposedly tainted supplement he consumed for testing.

But Merriman says he can't find the bottle.

Perhaps more telling is the refusal of Merriman to identify the manufacturer. Earlier this week, Merriman said that he couldn't do so because of pending litigation. In our view, he's not naming the manufacturer because the pending litigation could be against him, if he incorrectly proclaims to the world that a company that is in the business of selling supplements has been putting nandrolone-laced product on the shelves.

Defamation claims are not limited to individuals about whom lies are told. If someone spreads untrue facts about a company and, in so doing, causes the company to lose money, the person who tells the tales is responsible for the financial harm, and possibly other damages.

So if Merriman can't find the bottle of the supplement he took, how in the hell can he prove that he even took it? Does he have the receipt? (That reminds us of the late Mitch Hedberg's bit about being offered a receipt upon buying a donut.)

Our guess? Merriman plans no action against the manufacturer, and the vague sword rattling regarding a lawsuit generally is aimed at getting folks in the media to presume that he didn't intentionally take steroids.

Oh and if that's the strategy, it's generally working.

SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

John Clayton of ESPN says that Giants WR Plaxico Burress won't play on Sunday.

Cowboys WR Terry Glenn, per John Clayton of ESPN, is "very questionable" for Sunday and might miss the game.

Clayton also says that RB Mike Bell might be starting for the Broncos today, since RB Tatum Bell has a bad toe.

Ed Werder of ESPN now says that Cowboys WR Terry Glenn will start despite a quad injury.

Borat plays some football.

POSTED 3:50 p.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 4:23 p.m. EST, November 4, 2006

WEEK 9 FANTASY PICKS AND PUNKS

On every Saturday of the 2006 season, we offer up a collection of guys who'll overachieve and guys who'll underachieve for the coming slate of games. From a fantasy perspective.

And, as always, we're guided by the wisdom of Paul Charchian a/k/a Charch of Fanball.com, PFT's official fantasy football partner.

This week, here are the guys we like:

Tony Romo, quarterback, Cowboys: Dallas has notched at least one passing touchdown in ten straight games against the Redskins, and Romo played well in his debut as a starter.

Rex Grossman, quarterback, Bears: Grossman has thrown 11 passing touchdowns in four home games, and the Fins have allowed two per road game.

Deuce McAllister, running back, Saints: Deuce has been running well against the Bucs, even though he was MIA against the Ravens last weekend. McAllister has averaged 105 rushing yards in the past three games against Tampa, and had 123 yards earlier this year.

Laurence Maroney, running back, Pats: The Colts are soft up the middle, and Maroney will run wild.

Ahman Green, running back, Packers: The Bills have allowed five rushing touchdowns in their last three games, and Green has been steady this year.

Lee Evans, receiver, Bills: Green Bay is last in the league against the pass, and the Packers have allowed 11 passing touchdowns; in contrast, Evans is having the ball thrown his way 9.6 times per game.

Michael Jenkins, wide receiver, Falcons: The Lions have allowed a receiver touchdown in every game since Week One, and Jenkins has scored in each game of Michael Vick's two-week resurgence.

Next, the guys who might not do so well:

Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback, Steelers: Though some might think that the Steelers' first home game since their 45-7 thrashing of the Chiefs might lead to a similar result, the absence of center Jeff Hartings will make Big Ben even more susceptible to plenty of heat, right up the middle, from the Broncos.

Philip Rivers, quarterback, Chargers: For unknown reasons, the Browns have been relatively strong against the pass, with zero or one passing touchdown allowed in six of seven games this year.

Ronnie Brown, running back, Dolphins: Miami simply doesn't use this guy enough, and we're starting to wonder why they invested the No. 2 overall pick on him in 2005.

Thomas Jones, running back, Bears: Though the Bears are facing a 1-6 team, the Fins have allowed only one rushing touchdown this year.

Hines Ward, receiver, Steelers: Two words. Champ and Bailey. (Okay, three words if you count the "and".)

Any Jaguars receiver: Even though the Titans won't have Pacman Jones, the Jags are focusing on the run with David Garrard at quarterback. Last week, Garrard completed only four passes to his wideouts.

KORDOZA LINE UPDATE

Another Saturday staple around here is our update of the quarterbacks beneath the Kordoza Line, the label we've given to the career passer rating of former NFL quarterback Kordell Stewart.

This week, the starting quarterbacks in the club are: Bruce Gradkowski, Bucs (69.1); Charlie Frye, Browns (68.8); Matt Leinart, Cardinals (66.9); Jake Plummer, Broncos (65.2); Joey Harrington, Dolphins (64.1); Vince Young, Titans (60.5); Seneca Wallace, Seahawks (59.0); Andrew Walter, Raiders (49.0).

Narrowly avoiding inclusion in the Kordoza Club is Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, whose season-to-date passer rating matches the 70.7 line of demarcation.

MORE PROOF OF WHY WE DON'T PICK GAMES

Last week, we set forth concrete proof as to why we don't pick the winners in NFL games. Paul Zimmerman of Sports Illustrated, better known as Dr. Z, is arguably one of the foremost NFL authorities in the world.

And he's struggling this year.

But because his e-mail address doesn't appear at the bottom of his column, he wasn't exposed to a flood of nasty messages from Colts, Falcons, Cowboys, Jaguars, Browns, and Ravens fans after picking each of those victorious teams from last weekend to lose.

In all, Dr. Z was 3-6, and he's now 29-33 for the season.

So that's why we don't like to pick games. And this week, we don't like the Patriots to beat the Colts, and we don't like the Ravens to beat the Bengals. We also don't like the Cowboys to overcome the Redskins, or the Chargers to chew up the Browns, or Randy Moss and the Raiders to conjure memories of past Monday night dominance against the Seahawks. Finally, we don't like the Falcons over the Lions, the Bears over the Fins, or the Bills over the Packers.

Last week, we were 5-2 in the games we didn't pick.

POSTED 9:16 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 10:31 a.m. EST, November 4, 2006

NO MOSS FOR THE 'SKINS ON SUNDAY

When the Washington Redskins try to reverse course on a disastrous-to-date 2-5 start to a season with high expectations by taking on their arch-rivals from Dallas, they won't have receiver Santana Moss.

Moss will miss the game due to a hamstring injury.

"I've dealt with it before," Moss said. "I went out there and tried [to play] with it and it didn't do anything except carry on week to week to week. So instead of going through that all over again, I just said the leg will let me know when it's ready."

NO MAAS FOR FOX ON SUNDAY

For the sixth straight week, FOX analyst Bill Maas will be watching the games from his futon.

Maas worked the first three games of the season. But as soon as the bye weeks began, with four-to-six teams taking Sunday off, Maas was gone.

It'll be interesting to see whether he comes back next week, when the byes end. But with FOX slated to carry only five games on November 12 (since the Bears at Giants game was moved to Sunday night), it's unlikely that Maas gets the call.

There are seven FOX games on the docket for November 19, and amid reports that the CBS Patriots at Packers game could be moved to prime time, it looks like the Sunday before Thanksgiving is Bill's best chance to get back into the booth.

After all, someone has to work the Detroit at Arizona game.

READER CONSENSUS: T.O IS FULL OF SH-T

We've heard from several readers in response to the disclosure that Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens has a habit of falling asleep in football meetings.

And the consensus is that the guy is full of it.

Said one reader: "I was in the military and I too fell asleep during classroom sessions while enlisted. The Navy had a simple solution -- If you are tired or falling asleep, get up, walk to the back of the class and stand there, as we homo sapiens do not sleep while standing erect. Period."

A league insider tells us that there are teams that use that very approach in order to keep their guys awake.

And the research we've done on the subject makes it hard for us to believe that T.O. succumbs to sleep only when in a meeting room. Folks who suffer from medical conditions that cause excessive daytime sleepiness don't only fall asleep when the world slows down. Owens would be falling asleep while getting dressed out for a game, while sitting on the sidelines when the defense is on the field, while driving his car, and/or while attempting to love him some him.

OCHO CINCO MUY . . . UM . . . MAD-O

Peter King of HBO's Inside the NFL reported this week that Bengals receiver Chad Johnson a/k/a Ocho Cinco a/k/a the Love Child of Mr. T and Grace Jones is upset with the decision of the NFL to fine him $5,000 for wearing "Ocho Cinco" over his name plate prior to Sunday's game against the Falcons.

Said Johnson in a media conference call: "I don't understand why there was a fine when I didn’t play in the game with it," he said. "It was just for pregame entertainment only. I felt it was a classic. That will go down in history as one of the best ever. I don't see how you get fined for something like that."

Though Johnson will indeed appeal, it's highly unlikely that he'll succeed. The rules are the rules, and if Johnson is allowed to wear a phony name on his jersey in pregame warmups then other guys will be able to do the same. So where does the NFL draw the line? With "offensive" messages over the player's name? With statements that promote non-NFL sponsors?

This is an area where a bright line is needed, and we agree with the decision to fine Johnson.

And we continue to believe that the team should be fined, too, if as it appears the team made the "Ocho Cinco" alternative plate. Really, the whole thing could have been avoided if someone within the organization had said to Johnson, "Sorry, Mr. Cinco, but we just can't do that."

BRISTOL SHOULD SHOWCASE "MATCHUP"

One of the best football shows on television is ESPN's NFL Matchup, a long-time staple of fall weekends that somehow gets lost in the scheduling shuffle.

Currently, it's on too early on Sunday mornings, starting at 8:30 a.m. in the East. And it's on too late on Saturday nights, beginning at midnight in the West.

Despite less-than-favorable time slots, the show is doing well. Last month, Nunyo Demasio of SI.com heaped praise on the overlooked offering, and on Thursday Marc Narducci of the Philadelphia Inquirer penned a positive piece about the program.

This season the viewers have been tuning in, and in record numbers. Last Sunday's show generated a 1.32 rating, the highest ever in its 13-year history. In 2006, overall ratings are up three percent from 2005.

And for good reason. The show does what no other broadcast attempts, with only the exception of the NFL Films Game of the Week on NFLN; it breaks down the "all-22" coaching film and helps the viewers understand why certain plays work, and why they don't.

It's fascinating stuff. And it gives folks with a genuine thirst for football knowledge a vehicle for learning more about the game.

Our suggestion? Move the thing to 10:00 a.m. Eastern time on Sundays, and give it a whole hour. Better still, make Matchup the first hour of the ESPN Sunday pre-game show. (We realize that this would mean relocating The Sports Reporters. But that show really hasn't been the same without Dick Schaap.)

Alternatively (or additionally), find a spot for Matchup on Saturday mornings. We realize that some might bristle at the mere suggestion of interrupting the never-ending SportsCenter loop. But in an era where scores and highlights are instantly available via computers and cell phones, SportsCenter isn't nearly as important as it used to be. Why not give viewers something that they can't get on their phones or their laptops? A full hour of advanced football discourse presented in a way that even the biggest of bozos can understand.

Finally, to anyone out there who might wonder whether we withheld praise for the show until Ron Jaworski ditched his ladies glasses, our official position is that it was coincidental.

POSTED 10:13 p.m. EST; UPDATED 10:34 p.m. EST, November 3, 2006

PATTERSON DEAL "ABSURD"

Reaction in league circles to the seven-year extension inked this week by Eagles defensive tackle Mike Patterson has been strong. And negative.

"Absurd" is what one league source called the deal, which locks Patterson up through the 2016 season, at salaries that likely will seem miniscule as the salary cap continues to grow and grow.

The problem is that, by the time Patterson starts earning the annual wages under the seven-year extension, the $9 million that he receives in the form of a signing bonus and a non-guaranteed 2007 roster bonus will be a faded memory, and if he reaches the potential that made him the second defensive tackle off of the board, he's going to think that he has a bad deal.

And that brings us back to the notion that often arises when a guy commits to a bunch of years in order to pocket a big bonus. It's known as "outperforming" a deal. Or, in Patterson's case, it also might be known as having inferior players leapfrog him based on contracts negotiated after the salary cap sails past $150 million.

So Patterson needs to realize -- right now -- that he has willingly tied himself up for the next ten-plus seasons in order to get that $9 million in short-term cash. While it protects him against getting hurt or turning out to be just "a guy," it gives him little solace (reportedly up to only $5 million in escalators over the life of the deal) if he becomes a dominant player.

We're also starting to wonder where the line is between the Eagles' habit of "taking care" of young players and "taking advantage" of them. Sure, no one is forcing these kids to sign their names to long-term deals. But at the same time the Eagles will need to have a better understanding of human nature than they did when they refused to proactively adjust the contract of Terrell Owens after he put together (and it kills us to say this) a heroic effort in Super Bowl XXXIX following a late-season broken ankle. Instead of approaching Owens and adjusting a deal that arguably was tilted in the team's favor, the Eagles did nothing, and suffered the consequences.

With guys like Patterson and Shawn Andrews signed for the long haul at future salaries that might look small in comparison to those of their peers, the fact that the Eagles could eventually have the guys under their thumbs doesn't mean that the Eagles should press down.

Though Andrews and Patterson might be very happy for now, there's a good chance that one or both of them will become upset with their financial situation before their respective contracts expire. And it'll be important for the Eagles to respond appropriately, or they might end up with a couple more T.O.'s in the locker room.

MNF FINALLY FOCUSING ONLY ON THE "F"?

Phil Mushnick of the New York Post writes that, in his view, the folks at ESPN have re-focused their Monday Night Football broadcast on the Football part of the equation, and have ditched the distractions like celebrity pop-ins and cross-promotions for sister company ABC.

Although Mushnick reports that the NFL denies that it instructed ESPN to crop out the crap in advance of the October 30 game between the Patriots and the Vikings, Mushnick says that league and team officials weren't happy with the prior week's offering between the Giants and the Cowboys, which included yuk-yuk sessions with (I'm) Hank Williams, Jr. (bitch) and Emmitt Smith, who was given a chance to pimp his latest televised endeavor, Dancing with the Stars.

Mushnick also says that ESPN claims that it hasn't re-tooled the show. But if the useless celebrity interviews don't return, it's hardly coincidental.

Meanwhile, the Monday night folks should have had a chat with the ESPN Thursday night production crew. The West Virginia-Louisville game featured three extracurricular chats (with Rick Pitino, Lee Corso, and Tom Jackson) that entailed the guests talking about stuff unrelated to the action on the field while the action on the field was unfolding.

Guys, people watch football games for the football. Not to see or to hear folks who aren't involved in the game itself. We know that some of the sock puppets' egos might not be able to fathom the possibility that the talking heads are at best the salt and pepper. And, in many cases of late, we feel like someone has unscrewed the cap right before we turn the shaker upside down over our plate.

POSTED 7:34 p.m. EST, November 3, 2006

NAPOLIAN CREATES A NEW STATISTIC

In comments to Nunyo Demasio of SI.com aimed ostensibly at deflecting criticism of coach Tony Dungy for his inability to win meaningful games in the postseason, Colts president Bill Polian boasts that the team has won 26 straight "meaningful" games in the regular season.

What the hell does that mean?

And how did Polian come up with it? By our count, the number is actually 28, if we exclude the team's "meaningless" loss at Denver in the 2004 regular-season finale.

But to get to 28 we'd also have to exclude Indy's 26-17 loss to the Chargers in Week Fifteen of the 2005 season, which stopped the Colts from getting to 14-0.

The Colts tried to win the game, wanted to win the game. Does that make the game not meaningful?

Does it also not make the game not meaningful that the Chargers, in beating the Colts in their own building, supplied the Pittsburgh Steelers with some ideas for rattling quarterback Peyton Manning in yet another playoff loss?

Perhaps, as one league source opined, Polian will bully someone in the league office into adopting "meaningful wins" as a new statistic, and that it will be added to the official standings.

Wins, losses, meaningful wins, ties.

Even if it were a real statistic, we'd put the Colts' number at seven, not 28, because the game against the Chargers surely was meaningful.

Besides, the only meaning that the regular season has is that it determines the seeding for the postseason. And the only truly meaningful measure of the success of a quarterback, a coach, or a team president is the ability to win as many meaningful postseason games as possible, preferably those identified by Roman numerals.

For Manning, Dungy, and Polian, the career total for meaningful victories in the most meaningful of games is, well, zero.

POSTED 5:06 p.m. EST, November 3, 2006

T.O. HAS NARCOLEPSY?

Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens has a problem staying awake in meetings, according to the Dallas Morning News. His most recent episode of nappy time occurred on Thursday, and he says that he told the team about it before he signed a free-agent contract in March.

"I don't know what it is," Owens said. "I've never been diagnosed with it. It's nothing new for me to fall asleep in a meeting. It goes back to my rookie year in San Francisco. My receivers coach [George Stewart] knew I would fall asleep. He thought I was staying up late, and sometimes I did. When I did get to bed early, I would still get to meetings and fall asleep, and it's the same thing here."

We've got a suggested diagnosis. The guy is a self-absorbed asshole. So whenever he's in a situation where: (1) he's sitting down; and (2) people are talking about subjects other than him, he loses interest and falls asleep.

Owner Jerry Jones has no problem with T.O.'s ability to stay awake. "Those are personal health issues, and we all have them in varying ways. I don't say that as though it's something that's irritating at all," said Jones.

(Jerry, Michelle Tafoya wants to know what was going through your head when you decided to become T.O.'s biatch.)

And although Jones is willing to give Owens a pass on this one (and on pretty much anything else Owens might do), receivers coach Todd Haley reacts to the situation much like his wife would when finding a dead rat in her salad.

"Todd is a big stickler, and he kind of got offended," Owens said. "That's one of his pet peeves about not sleeping in a meeting. I talked to him one-on-one and said, 'I'm not trying to fall asleep. I've always been like that.'"

Attention, "real" media. There's plenty of ammunition here for some "real" journalism. Track down Owens' teachers from grade school, high school, college. Or his coaches. Surely, if this is a real condition from which he's suffered for years, then it's not something that first popped up once he started getting paid to play football.

Our guess? Owens is full of sh-t. He sleeps because he's bored, and because he knows that there will be no consequence for it.

Especially not in Dallas, where the owner of the team will tolerate any type of misbehavior from Owens if it means never having to admit to the world that he screwed up by signing the guy.

POSTED 3:01 p.m. EST; UPDATED 3:23 p.m. EST, November 3, 2006

LEFTWICH BENCHING TIED TO FAILED EXTENSION TALKS?

With the quarterback situation in Jacksonville becoming stranger by the day, a league source tells us that the Jags were trying as of three weeks ago to sign former starter Byron Leftwich to an extension.

Leftwich, the team's first-round draft pick in 2003, is currently signed through 2007.

No new deal was done, and we're guessing that it might have something to do with agent Tom Condon's reputation for taking moon shots with his quarterback clients.

And if the Jags got the same kind of "[f]ar north of what we anticipated" demand that the Colts and Bill Polian received from Condon when it was time to sign Peyton Manning for the long term, maybe the Jags decided that a few weeks (or longer) on the bench might drive down Leftwich's asking price.

A crazy scenario? Not when considering the things that Leftwich has been saying of late. A week ago, he was at odds with Del Rio over whether his performance against the Texans was influenced by a lingering ankle injury. There also was confusion over whether his ankle problem that supposedly surfaced two days before the Texans game was related to his broken ankle from 2005, or whether it was the result of a new injury suffered this season (and previously undisclosed by the team).

Now, Leftwich says that he was informed by Del Rio on Thursday that David Garrard will get the start on Sunday, and that there was no discussion with the coach as to whether the decision is related to the ankle injury. "How can I put this in the right way?" Leftwich said. "To be honest with you, I don't know how to look at it. I really don't know. I know I can go out there and be myself."

So Leftwich thinks he's healthy. The team says he isn't. We previously thought that the team was seizing on the injury as a way to find out what they've got in Garrard, without formally benching Byron. We're now starting to think that maybe the Jags also have decided that they're not going to be the latest team that gets its salary cap blown up by a quarterback who wants more than his fair share of the pie.

WEAVER SELLING HIS JACKSONVILLE . . . ESTATE

In a move that some might interpret as a precursor to selling his pro football team, or moving it to L.A., Jaguars owner Wayne Weaver and his wife (we can't remember her name -- perhaps it's Mulva) are selling their Jacksonville estate.

Relax, Jags fans. The Weavers have moved into a Jacksonville condominium, and there's no evidence to suggest that he's thinking about blowing out of town, or about selling the team.

The property is listed at a paltry $10 million.

POSTED 9:25 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 11:00 a.m. EST, November 3, 2006

SABAN SAYS HE'S HAPPY IN MIAMI

On Thursday, we heard from a very good source that Michigan State intends to make a run at Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban, who coached the Spartans before heading to LSU.

On Thursday night, Saban said on his weekly radio show that he won't be leaving: "I want you to be rest assured we're happy here in Miami," Saban told a caller. "We're excited about the future. We're excited about getting it turned around for this season.

"I'm not interested in going back North anywhere."

Um. What else would the guy say? What else could he say? No comment? We'll cross that bridge when we come to it? We're not happy in Miami, in fact we think it really sucks here?

Rest assured that the word is that Saban is miserable in Miami. And, of course, if owner Wayne Huizenga thinks Saban is miserable and wants out, then it's less likely that Saban gets bought out of the last three years of his contract.

OCHO CINCO IS FINED-O

Here's a shocker -- Bengals receiver Chad Johnson is being fined $5,000 for wearing the words "Ocho Cinco" over the name plate of his jersey on Sunday against the Falcons.

Quarterback Carson Palmer emphatically ripped the phony rectangle from the shirt prior to the game, revealing the receiver's far less flamboyant moniker.

ESPN.com suggests that Johnson will appeal the fine. But why? Clearly, Johnson's stunt was a violation of the uniform policy, because he added something to his uniform that didn't belong on it. Even if he were to argue that the "Ocho Cinco" thing was taken off before the game started, a failure to fine him would then allow players to don phrases like "He Hate Me" or "Lights Out" or "Lights Out/Needles In" or "I Love Me Some Me" or "I Play When I Wanna Play" or "Punk-Ass White Boy" on the back of his jersey, as long as the message is removed before the player enters the game.

The broader issue in this case, as we see it, is whether the NFL also will fine the Bengals, since the league's 2006 schedule of fines states that "[a]dditional fines may be imposed on team management and coaching staffs for condoning, permitting, etc. violations." That "Ocho Cinco" nameplate wasn't something that Johnson stitched together in his basement; it obviously was made by the Bengals' equipment staff.

So the team was in on the stunt, and per league rules the team should be fined, too.

SEVEN MONTHS AND COUNTING WITH SPRINT

We're NASCAR-loyal to our sponsors, because we recognize that there are plenty of different options for the folks who advertise on this site. And our biggest batch of loyalty flows to Sprint and Nextel, which has been our primary sponsor for seven months, and counting.

Are we overt in our loyalty? Heck, yes. But why shouldn't we be? At a time when more and more web sites are deciding that if a tank of gas costs $50 bucks then folks will surely pay half of that for a year of access to certain online content, Sprint's commitment to PFT allows PFT to remain FRE. E.

So think this through. If you've got a computer with Internet access, chances are you also have a cell phone. And if you've got a cell phone, that means you're doing business with a cell phone provider. (We is smrt.) So if you're a regular reader of the free content on PFT and if you can choose from any cell phone provider out there, why not get a phone from the company that is enabling you to continue to view free content on PFT?

It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. And, as Joey Sunshine once said, "A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

So, please, show your support for PFT by buying a Sprint phone. Or a Nextel phone. And tell your friends and family members to buy Sprint or Nextel phones, too. And then tell us what you've done so we can continue to prove to Sprint that our readers are as loyal to us as we are to our sponsors.

'06 JETS-BROWNS RECONCILED WITH '03 CARDS-VIKINGS

We've addressed on several occasions this week the decision of the officials not to review the fateful call from Sunday's Jets-Browns game. On the play in question, tight end Chris Baker was pushed out of bounds by two Cleveland defenders as he was catching a pass that would have a touchdown, and that would have put the Jets in position to tie the game. Replays of the incident strongly support the conclusion that Baker would have gotten both feet in bounds if he hadn't been pushed out.

The reason given for the decision not to review the play is that the play is not subject to replay review. Rule 15, Section 9 of the 2006 Official Playing Rules of the National Football League confirms that "forceouts" are not reviewable.

But we've been confused for much of the week as to the difference (if any) between the call in the Jets-Browns game and a similar situation from the 2003 Cardinals-Vikings game, in which Arizona defeated the Vikings (and knocked Minnesota out of the playoffs) on a 25-yard touchdown pass on fourth-and-goal following two consecutive sacks and a ticking clock. Nate Poole caught the ball at the back of the end zone and was pushed out before he could get both feet down. The play was reviewed, and upheld.

So we asked NFL director of officiating Mike Pereira to distinguish the two. And here's what he told us, via e-mail: "In the Arizona play, we ruled force-out on the field and we reviewed whether or not he completed the catch by holding on to the ball when he hit the ground. He did and the ruling on the field stood. The ruling of force[out] cannot be reviewed. The only portion of the play that can [be reviewed] is whether or not the receiver completed the catch."

Bottom line? The decision not to review the Jets-Browns call was accurate, even though the decision that Baker would not have caught the ball in bounds was by all appearances wrong.

But we're still not convinced that the Poole play should have been reviewed. Rule 15, Section 9 says generally that "forceouts" are not reviewable. Whether the player maintains possession when hitting the ground out of bounds is an element of the forceout phenomenon, as explained in Rule 8, Section 1, Article 7, Supplemental Note 5. And we see nothing in Rule 15, Section 9 that makes reviewable the question of whether a player maintained possession when hitting the ground outside the field of play. Indeed, the specific language included within the scope of reviewable calls as to the question of whether a pass was complete, incomplete, or intercepted includes the limiting phrase "in the field of play."

At a minimum, then, Rule 15, Section 9 should be tweaked a bit, because there's a discrepancy between what happened in Sun Devil Stadium nearly three years ago and what the current words say. While the NFL is at it, we suggest making forceouts reviewable. There's too much riding on these games to justify using the technology only some of the time.

Meanwhile, we're starting to think that the officials should be full-time, year-round employees. How can anyone have the details and nuances of a 115-page rule book committed to instant-access memory if it's only a part-time gig? But that's a rant for another day.

POSTED 6:21 p.m. EST, November 2, 2006

PATTERSON GETS PAID

The Eagles have signed defensive tackle Mike Patterson to a long-term extension, locking up the team's 2005 first-round draft choice through 2016 via a seven year extension that doesn't even begin to apply until 2010.

Under the contract, Patterson gets $4.5 million to sign and a $4.5 million roster bonus in 2007. The salaries beginning in 2010 are $1.1 million, $1.4 million, $2.1 million, $2.9 million, $3.65 million, $4.9 million, and $6.25 million.

But since the only real guarantee is the $4.5 million signing bonus, and since that money prorates at $900,000 per year starting this year, there will be no cap acceleration if he is cut in 2010 or thereafter.

From 2010 and onward, then, the contract is a series of one-year deals -- and very reasonable salaries if Patterson becomes a stud. And if he becomes a stud, he'll surely claim that he has outperformed his deal.

Before Patterson or his agents succumb to that temptation, they need to keep in mind the $9 million in bonuses that Patterson has received in exchange for voluntarily tying himself down for the next decade.

POSTED 5:01 p.m. EST, November 2, 2006

SPARTANS WANT SABAN

Within barely a half hour after posting our story that Nick Saban is unhappy in his current job as the coach of the Miami Dolphins, word has filtered to Profootballtalk.com and Collegefootballtalk.com (but we're taking the credit for this one) that Michigan State plans to make a major push to get Saban to return to the Spartan program.

A source with knowledge of the situation tells us that Michigan State has made informal contact with Saban since Wednesday's announcement that current Spartans coach John L. Smith won't return in 2007.

Money apparently won't be an issue, since it's our understanding that the Spartans are prepared to make a significant offer to get Saban to return to East Lansing.

The fact that M. Peter McPherson is no longer the president of the university is regarded as a positive, since Saban and Peter didn't see eye to eye. It's believed that McPherson's successor, former Michigan State provost Lou Anna Kimsey Simon, enjoyed a positive relationship with Saban.

Stay tuned.

POSTED 4:19 p.m. EST, November 2, 2006

SABAN LOOKING TO FLEE FROM THE FINS?

Surprisingly, there's a rumor making the rounds that Dolphins coach Nick Saban might try to get out of Miami after the 2006 season.

The talk is that Saban sees no light at the end of the tunnel for a franchise with an aging nucleus and an unsettled quarterback situation. And the fact that he's on his way to the first losing record of his coaching career is "killing him," we're told.

Even if the Fins continue to flounder and win the Brady Quinn derby, it'll be a couple of years (at least) before Quinn can make a difference.

Of course, the mere fact that Saban might want out means nothing if the team doesn't want him to leave. He is under contract through the 2009 season. Though the franchise can't force him to honor the deal, they most likely can keep him from coaching for anyone else.

But we won't rule out a mutual parting of the ways, because owner Wayne Huizenga surely can't be happy with the current status of the team in light of the sky-high preseason expectations. If, for example, Saban wants out and Huizenga wants him out, then perhaps the two sides agree that he'll be released from his obligations and that he'll be owed no salary for 2007 through 2009.

If Saban leaves, the obvious question is where would he go next? Vacancies in the NFL might be scarce next season, even though there are several cities in which the current coach could retire (Dallas, Pittsburgh, Washington, Seattle, Indy), quit (Tennessee, Cardinals), or be fired (Ravens, Browns, Chargers, Eagles, Lions, Cardinals, 49ers).

Want an intriguing possibility? How about the Bears, where head coach Lovie Smith still hasn't gotten an extension beyond the 2007 season. What if they win the Super Bowl and he asks to be released so that he can go coach, say, a team in his home state of Texas? Saban and Bears G.M. Jerry Angelo are good friends, and Saban could end up on the short list to replace Smith.

Or Saban could return to the college game. Though we don't follow "amateur" football closely enough to know which jobs might come open, Joe Collegio of our sister site recently has mentioned that Mike Shula could be in trouble at Alabama.

Keep in mind that this is simply wild-ass speculation. But what's not speculation is the chatter regarding Saban's unhappiness with his current situation. If the feeling becomes mutual, Saban's stay in South Florida could end up being just as long (and possibly not as successful) as Steve Spurrier's two-season stint with the 'Skins.

POSTED 3:27 p.m. EST, November 2, 2006

GARRARD TO START AGAIN FOR JAGS

A day after the Jaguars listed quarterback Byron Leftwich as probable for Sunday's game against the Titans, Leftwich has been downgraded to questionable, and David Garrard is expected to start for the second straight week.

“I took all of the snaps. I'm assuming that means I'm going to start,” Garrard said after practice on Thursday.

While we've got no issue with the decision to go with Garrard, we're confused as to how Leftwich went from "probable" (i.e., "virtual certainty" that he will be available for normal duty) to 50-50 in one day.

Regardless, we're convinced that coach Jack Del Rio is giving Garrard a test drive as the starter, using Leftwich's "injury" as a pretext for benching him. If Garrard stumbles, Byron's bad leg will be healed. If Garrard continues to win, the condition will linger.

And we're not passing judgment on Del Rio for employing such tactics. We're sure it's not the first time a coach has managed a quarterback quandary in this manner, and we're certain it won't be the last.

POSTED 12:18 p.m. EST; UPDATED 12:37 p.m. EST, November 2, 2006

SALISBURY SUSPENSION WAS KEPT HUSH-HUSH IN BRISTOL

As we continue to hear more details about the recent suspension of ESPN football analyst Sean Salisbury, two things are becoming more and more clear to us: (1) it definitely happened; and (2) not many people knew that it had occurred, even within the building in Bristol.

His absence was, as we understand it, abrupt and unexplained. Chris McClain of WFNZ in Charlotte told us on the air on Wednesday that Salisbury simply wasn't available for a recent weekly spot that he does on the "Mac Attack" show every Friday, and there was no explanation for his absence. Review of the archives of The Dan Patrick Show reveals a couple of Tuesdays in October in which Salisbury did not appear for what otherwise appears to be a weekly visit.

Is it a big deal? Given that hardly anyone noticed that Sean was gone, it's not. And that tells us that these second-tier NFL talking head positions are extremely fungible, and that the networks can replace a guy without missing a beat.

What amazes us about the issue is the secrecy that has applied to Salisbury, especially at a time when the removal of ESPNU's Brian Kinchen for uttering the words "kinda" and "gay" consecutively resulted in a proclamation on SportsCenter that he'd be yanked from the airwaves.

So why was Salisbury suspended? We've heard the reason from multiple sources, but we're deciding for now to keep it to ourselves. Although truth is a defense in any defamation claim, it likely would be hard for us to gather the evidence that we'd need, if Sean were to attempt to raid the PFT coffers.

With that said, we found the reason to be pretty darn funny, and we don't think that it merited the punishment he received. In fact, we were so surprised when we heard the news that we wish we'd taken a picture of our reaction with our Sprint phone, so that we then could show it to some of our friends.

CINCY RADIO HOST FIRED AFTER SPAT WITH HOUSHMANDZADEH

A guy who didn't fare as well as ESPN's Sean Salibury in connection with a recent employment matter was Andy Furman of WLW radio in Cincinnati.

Furman was fired on Wednesday for calling Bengals receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh a "racist" on October 6.

The problem arose when Houshmandzadeh skipped out on a paid appearance on October 5. Furman had some choices words for T.J. on the air, and then Furman claimed the next day that Houshmandzadeh had called him a "punk-ass white boy."

Houshmandzadeh admits to a verbal exchange with Furman, but denies calling Furman a "punk-ass white boy."

"I told him, 'Andy Furman, you can [f--k] yourself.' That's the bottom line. And he twisted it into all whatever he wants to," Houshmandzadeh said after the incident.

Furman, in our view, should have known that nothing good will come out of sharing publicly the inflammatory details of a private conversation. Even if Houshmandzadeh said it (and as a punk-ass white boy, I've got to say I'm not really offended if he did), it's too easy to deny it. With no recording of the discussion and no witnesses, Furman took a huge risk.

And it blew up in his face.

Stupid-ass white boy.

POSTED 10:03 a.m. EST; UPDATED 11:05 a.m. EST, November 2, 2006

"DEFINING MOMENT" FOR PACMAN WAS YEARS AGO

Titans coach Jeff Fisher calls the one-game suspension of cornerback Pacman Jones the "defining moment" in his football career.

Though Fisher intends (we think) to convey that this is Jones' final opportunity to decide whether he will conform his future actions to the expectations of the team, the NFL, and the penal code, we hardly think that it is the "defining moment" for Jones.

Pacman's defining moment, in our opinion, occurred when he saw fit to hit a guy in the face with a pool cue in a Morgantown bar during his time with the West Virginia Mountaineers. It was in that instant, in our view, that Jones demonstrated that he is incapable of controlling his urges and impulses, regardless of the potential consequences.

And he has adhered to that pattern since that evening in 2002.

So Jones already has been defined. The question going forward is whether he will be able to keep the tiger in the cage until he chooses to retire from the NFL.

Our guess? It won't happen. He won't change. He is what he is, and he won't be the first guy to get kicked off of a football team because he was accused of doing things he is convinced that he didn't do.

What if the Titans dump him? There are 31 other NFL teams. Up to 30 can say "no"; all it takes is one to say "yes".

And surely someone out there will take a chance on the highly-talented Jones. Quality cornerbacks are in short supply, and every football coach thinks that he's the guy who can turn a turd into a tulip.

Write it down. Jones will not change. He might want to. He'll likely try to. But the spots are on this leopard, and no amount of soap will wash them off.

THURSDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

"I am not a cheater," Chargers LB Shawne Merriman says, which conjures memories for us of similar lines uttered by Richard Nixon, Mike Piazza, and the Elephant Man.

It's good to know that Drew Bledsoe has found a way to occupy his time.

Redskins WR Santana Moss missed practice on Wednesday, and might not be available for Sunday.

Colts coach Tony Dungy says he's not concerned about the green beach at Gillette Stadium.

Falcons QB Mike Vick calls his NFC offensive player of the week award "an incredible honor." (Yeah, they only give it out, you know, 17 times per year. Per conference. But, hey, no one can ever take it away from you, like certain STDs.)

Raiders QB Aaron Brooks is back at practice, but Andrew Walter will be the starter on Monday night.

Fins DE Jason Taylor says that the Bears "can be beaten." (But only if: (1) you have a really big club; and (2) they are asleep.)

Bears CB Ricky Manning's fumble recovery from Sunday was changed to an interception. (The error apparently resulted from the fact that the scorekeeper was either a "f--king Jew" or a "faggot.")

Seahawks DT Marcus Tubbs is doubtful with swelling in his knee, but OL Floyd Womack could be returning.

WR Shaun Bodiford will return punts for the Packers if CB Charles Woodson can't go.

Redskins QB Jason Campbell is trying not to think about the fact that plenty of young quarterbacks are playing well right now.

Bengals WR Chad Johnson wants to do to Ravens LB Ray Lewis that which Browns S Brian Russell did to Chad.

Cowboys coach Bill Parcells says he isn't getting mellower with age.

Dookie might be the new third-down back in Pittsburgh.

The last guy who should comment on a quarterback who is playing like crap recently is a quarterback who has been playing like crap for a while.

POSTED 9:32 a.m. EST, November 2, 2006

MRS. BARBER FORCED TIKI OUT?

According to the folks at the New York Post, Giants running back Tiki Barber's real reason for retirement is that his wife fears that he'll suffer a catastrophic injury that will force her to raise their kids without his help.

Per the Post, a friend of Tiki's says that Ginny Barber has been "nagging him for a long time -- and with others present -- that he'd better retire before he has a crippling injury," and that, if it occurs, "he couldn't participate in raising his children."

Ironically, the Post is owned by the same outfit that owns one of Barber's current "side" employers, the FOX News Channel. It makes us wonder whether Barber will call the folks responsible for the story "idiots."

It also makes us wonder whether this whole retirement issue was in part intended to create buzz in the hopes of generating more opportunities for Barber. If, indeed, he says he's leaving in order to take advantage of other opportunities but is really doing it because Mrs. Barber has turned him into Miss Barber, he needs to do something to generate other opportunities that he deems suitable.

And what better way to do it than to engineer a seemingly inadvertent retirement announcement that takes on legs and keeps his name in the papers and on television and in the lead stories of crappy, third-rate web sites that have somehow managed to survive for five years despite making sh-t up every day?

Now, where were we? Oh, Tiki Barber's wife. Our guess is that he'll deny the thing, and in the process of doing so he'll say or do something that will cause the powers-that-be in the broadcasting/entertainment to conclude that he's too touchy and/or thin-skinned to make it in that world.

WELCOME TO A NEW SPONSOR

You'll be seeing on the right side of the front page and the Rumor Mill (and likely elsewhere on the site), ads for Mike Freeman's new book, Jim Brown: The Fierce Life of an American Hero.

Mike is a National Columnist with CBSSportsline.com, and he has written two other books, Bloody Sundays and ESPN: The Uncensored History.

Attention football fans. Buy this book. For yourself and for any football fans on your Christmas, Hanukah, Chanukkah, Kwanzaa, and/or Festivus list.

We're hoping to get our own copy of it soon.

WELCOME BACK TO A LONG-TIME SPONSOR

It's not really "welcome back," since he never left. But we couldn't think of a better headline.

For several months now, we have been advertising the "Freak of Training" video offered by Adam Archuleta, Redskins safety and one-time first-round draft pick of the Rams. With the Holidays approaching, it might be a good idea for some of you "Freaks of Eating" and/or "Freaks of Drinking" and/or "Freaks of Smoking" to consider either some pre-December or post-December workout strategies that don't involve nandrolone.

And even if you have no plan to try to get in shape and instead will continue to believe that cigars and Ho-Ho's are the tickets to that 100th birthday, there's got to be someone that you know who would like to learn some secrets of one of the best athletes in the NFL.

Or if nothing else it's a way to support your favorite free site. So buy a Sprint phone, buy the Archuleta workout video, buy the Jim Brown book, and then save up to buy anything else we'll be pimping in the future.

POSTED 12:23 a.m. EST, November 2, 2006

FLEX SCHEDULING TO GET FEISTY?

According to a report in the Chicago Tribune, the concept of flexible scheduling on the Sunday night broadcast could result in a tug-o-war between NBC and FOX over upcoming Bears games.

The problem is that the league fashioned a tentative list of Sunday night games for the weeks of flexible scheduling, and then required CBS and FOX to exercise their four blocks for Week Ten through Week Fifteen in October.

So with the Eagles-Colts game pre-designated by the NFL for a move to prime time on November 26, FOX didn't block the Bears-Patriots game, since no one reasonably expected when the blocks were due that NBC would want anything other than the Eagles at the Colts. And now FOX plans to broadcast its pregame show from Gillette Stadium on November 26.

But with the Eagles mired in a funk that might have more to do with the departure of Brad Childress than anyone had realized, the Bears-Pats game suddenly looks a lot sexier to NBC.

Ditto the Vikings-Bears game a week later, which FOX didn't block because Seattle at Denver already was penciled in for the night of December 3.

By league rules, the limit on prime time appearances for any given team is five per year, with up to three teams allowed to appear a sixth time. The Bears already are scheduled for four night games, including November 12 against the Giants and December 11 against the Rams.

So there can be two more Bears games that get moved to Sunday night. And as they continue to move closer to 16-0, their late-season games will become more and more attractive.

The NFL has final say on all of this, and past published reports have indicated that NBC won't get everything it wants. But it's pretty clear that there will be some intense discussion regarding these games, and it will require some careful diplomacy from the league office to keep everyone happy -- or to minimize the extent to which they are pissed off.

PLENTY OF NEWS IN THE BIRTHDAY BLOG

We spent most of the day on Wednesday celebrating our five-year anniversary with a continuous stream of stories, notes, nuggets, and e-mails we've received from friends and well-wishers.

Your perusal of the Rumor Mill isn't complete without a look-see at the Birthday Blog, since everything we would have posted right here is there.

So before going any farther here, click here.

POSTED 7:12 a.m. EST, November 1, 2006

PFT BIRTHDAY BLOG

Welcome to the party, folks. We've decided to do Wednesday's updates in the form of a continuously updated Live Blog.

Click here for your ticket to the all-day soiree.

Thanks for all your support -- now please help us set our all-time traffic record.

POSTED 12:38 a.m. EST, November 1, 2006

WAS SALISBURY SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK?

We've decided to kick off our five-year anniversary by stirring up a little sh-t.

A trusted industry source tells us that ESPN recently suspended NFL analyst Sean Salisbury for a week. Salisbury is now back on the air.

And we don't know what's worse for Salisbury -- the fact that he was suspended for a week, or the fact that no one noticed.

Before going with this one, we contacted ESPN. We reached ESPN spokesman Mac Nwulu and asked him if the information is accurate. He called us back within 30 minutes and said only that ESPN does not comment on personnel matters.

We told Nwulu that if he were to tell us that there had been no suspension, we would kill the story.

He didn't, so we haven't.

If Salisbury was not suspended, we invite Salisbury or someone from ESPN to set us straight. At this point, however, we have no reason to question our source on this.

Last year, ESPN suspended Michael Irvin for a week after Irvin failed to tell the network that he'd been arrested on charges of possession of drug paraphernalia.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US

It's November 1. We're now officially five years old. We just posted a new Ten-Pack, which among other things takes a close look at the call that screwed the Jets on Sunday. We're going to sleep for a while, get Florio Jr. out the door to school, and then hit the site all day long.

We're thinking about doing Wednesday's updates in the format of a Live Blog, with a continuous stream of stories and One-Liners and quick hits. We'll make a final decision after we sleep off some of the Halloween candy that we've been scarfing down.

And we'll pause from our updates only to make a handful of radio appearances. We'll visit with Angelo Cataldi and friends on WIP in Philly at 7:40 a.m. EST, Howard Balzer of ESPN Radio 1380 in St. Louis at 9:20 a.m. EST, and Chris McClain of WFNZ in Charlotte at 2:25 p.m. EST. We'll make a return stop at WIP to close the day at 10:40 p.m. EST, in order to break down the Ten-Pack with Glen Macnow.

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