POSTED 8:25 p.m. EST; UPDATED 9:51 p.m. EST, February 15, 2006

 

TITANS TO BAG VANDEN BOSCH

 

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com reports that the Tennessee Titans are close to an agreement with defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch on a four-year deal.

 

Per Glazer, Vanden Bosch will receive roughly $15 million in guaranteed money, once the deal is done.

 

The Titans have been working hard to get Vanden Bosch under contract.  He signed a one-year deal with Tennessee a year ago, earning a merely $540,000.  An impressive 12.5 sacks later, Vanden Bosch is in line to do slightly better in 2006 and beyond. 

 

WEDNESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

 

One-time Heisman winner Eric Crouch will play for the one of the last remaining football leagues from which he hasn't quit.

 

Clemson defensive line coach Vic Koenning has accepted a position with the Saints.

 

Dolphins OT Damoin McIntosh has been arrested on a charge of domestic violence against his wife (maybe they were arguing about whether the show Playmakers was a realistic depiction of life in and around the NFL).

 

Aspiring NFL WR/KR Jeremy Bloom left Torino without a medalino.

 

Former Packers coach Mike Sherman took a job as an assistant with the Texans, apparently because Mrs. Sherman didn't want his big ass hanging around the house for a year.

 

The Giants apparently are willing to let CB Will Allen and LB Nick Greisen hit the market.

 

Vincent Brown is the new middle linebackers coach in Dallas; Paul Pasqualoni moves from tight ends to outside 'backers.

 

The Bus is looking for a network gig.

 

The Fins have begun construction of an indoor practice facility.

 

The Vikings have added FB Joey Goodspeed.

 

Rams defensive coordinator Jim Haslett is glad that he opted to stick with coaching over television, after spending 5.5 hours taping a one-hour show during Super Bowl week.

 

Rams RB Marshall Faulk is still on the fence as to whether he'll return for another season.

 

The Chargers are keeping QB A.J. Feeley through the 2007 season.

 

Former sideline reporter Armen Keteyian will be the chief investigative correspondent for a new investigative unit at CBS.

 

Veteran QB Kelly Holcomb is listed as the first-stringer in the Bills' first interactive depth chart of the offseason.

 

POSTED 2:46 p.m. EST, February 15, 2006

 

VIKINGS SHOPPING CULPEPPER

 

Roughly a year ago, we broke the news that the Vikings were in the process of trading Randy Moss.  Now, we're told that the Vikings actively are shopping quarterback Daunte Culpepper.

 

Per a league source, the Vikings are contacting all of the teams perceived to be in the market for a quarterback in order to gauge interest for a trade.  The initial asking price, per the source, is a second-round draft pick.

 

The Vikings undoubtedly would be looking for much more if Culpepper hadn't suffered tears to three ligaments in his right knee on October 30, at the end of the first quarter of a game against the Panthers.  The Vikings also would be looking for much more if Culpepper's play hadn't collapsed from 2004, in which he put together one of the best seasons ever at the position, to 2005, in which his performance was mediocre at best. 

 

Tensions recently have climbed between the Vikings and Culpepper.  After suffering the injury and undergoing surgery, Culpepper essentially became a stranger to the organization.  After the season ended, Culpepper tried to resume talks aimed at restructuring a contract that runs through the 2013 season.  (In 2005, the Vikings agreed to push $8 million in future money forward.)  Culpepper since has fired agent Mason Ashe, and Culpepper might end up representing himself in connection with any future efforts to finagle more money.

 

For the Vikings, the bigger question (as we'd previously heard it) was whether Culpepper would be able to perform effectively in new coach Brad Childress's offense.  Childress, we'd heard, was concerned that Culpepper couldn't pull it off.  Coupled with the fact that Daunte won't be available to get on the field through the offseason program and training camp, there's no way he'd be effective as the team's quarterback this season.

 

So, apparently, the team has decided that the best thing to do is to make a move now, before Culpepper becomes even more of a distraction than he already is.

 

The problem, of course, will be finding a trade partner.  Teams with possible needs at the position in 2006 include the Jets, Dolphins, Ravens, Browns, Titans, Raiders, Lions, Packers, Saints, and Rams.  

 

Former Vikings offensive coordinator Scott Linehan is the head coach in St. Louis.  Linehan was calling the plays in Minnesota when Culpepper put together his MVP-caliber performance in 2004.  Moss publicly has indicated that he would welcome Daunte in Oakland.  And although the Vikings are unlikely to do a deal within the NFC North, new Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz surely could draw up a playbook suited to Culpepper's unique size and deceptive speed.

 

We assume that the Cardinals aren't in the mix for Culpepper, given that Kurt Warner recently was signed to a three-year deal worth at least $18 million.  We likewise assume that the Vikings made a call or two to Arizona in order to see whether Denny Green, who used the first-round pick obtained from the Redskins for Brad Johnson in 1999 to draft Culpepper, would be interested in a reunion.  

 

Culpepper's health is the primary impediment to any possible trade.  If he's never the same guy that he was due to the injury, the second-round pick is wasted.  That's why we think the Vikings will be able to move him only in exchange for one or more conditional picks in 2007 or, possibly, 2008.  Then, the ultimate value surrendered by the new team would be determined by the extent to which Culpepper can perform following the completion of his rehab.

 

Another significant glitch that needs to be addressed is Culpepper's $6 million roster bonus, due in early March.  Given the uncertainties of the CBA negotiations, it will be hard for any team to justify devoting $8 million in 2006 cap dollars to a player who might not be available to play at all during the coming season.    

 

In the end, the Vikings might not be able to justify it, either.  And we wouldn't be shocked if decided to release Culpepper, if they can't get what they want for him in trade.   

 

POSTED 8:40 a.m. EST; UPDATED 9:22 a.m. EST, February 15, 2006

 

CBA UNCERTAINTY COULD SCREW UP FREE AGENCY

 

There has been talk of possibly bumping the start of the 2006 free agency period from March 3 to April 1, and for good reason.  As the NFL and the NFLPA continue to negotiate a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, both sides are beginning to realize that free agency conducted in 2006, the last year prior to the uncapped year of 2007, could be a nightmare for everyone.

 

The two biggest impediments are the rules regarding incentives and the so-called "30 percent rule."  For incentives, any amounts achieved in 2006 automatically hit the salary cap in 2006, and cannot be nudged into 2007.  Thus, teams using incentives for players like Terrell Owens, who might need a big, fat carrot in order to achieve his highest level of performance, could find themselves having to dump players later in the year as certain incentives are reached.

 

The more confusing issue -- and one on which we've seen very little elaboration -- is the 30 percent rule.  This means that a player's "Salary" (i.e., everything except signing bonus) cannot increase by more than 30 percent from the last capped year of the CBA (i.e., 2006) into the uncapped year (i.e., 2007) and any future years. 

 

So if a player signs, for example, a four-year contract with a $1 million signing bonus and a base salary of $550,000 in 2006, the player's compensation in 2007 can be no more than $715,000 -- including base salary, roster bonus, workout bonus, etc.  The 2008 maximum compensation is then $880,000.  And so on, with a maximum increase each year of only $165,000.

 

The problem is that, if/when the CBA is extended, a different system will be in place, which undoubtedly will allow for greater increases from year to year.  The biggest losers here are the players who sign free agent deals before the CBA is extended, since the existence of a salary cap in 2006 will limit the baseline from which future salaries can expand.  The teams also will have problems in this regard, since anyone who signs a deal before the CBA extension undoubtedly will be clamoring for a new contract if/when a new CBA is in place.   

 

So even if the league and the union don't agree to pause the start of free agency pending further discussions, the smart move for the high end free agents very well might be to refrain from signing a contract until the CBA is extended.  Although this might cause some players to miss out on the big money that usually flows in the first few days of free agency, we've got a feeling that the big money simply won't be there this year -- unless and until the teams have sufficient certainty regarding the future of the CBA.

 

Another possible strategy for a high-end free agent who wants to sign in early March and doesn't want to wait for the CBA extension would be to negotiate a one-year contract with an agreement that he won't be subject to the franchise or transition tag upon expiration.  This will allow the player to hit the open market in 2007 -- and if the CBA isn't extended by then, there will be no salary cap to limit his next contract.  (Assuming, of course, that he will have six years of service come 2007, since players with five years or less are not eligible for unrestricted free agency in the uncapped year.)

 

Confused?  So are we.  The bottom line here is that both sides need to work together to get the CBA done.  Now.  Since 1993, the threat of an uncapped year has been used to get the parties to work out a new contract at least a year before the current deal expires.  Because the CBA never has come so close to hitting the uncapped year, both sides are gradually beginning to understand that the presence of the uncapped year is an incentive to get the new deal done not one year early, but two.         

 

OPTION BONUSES GO BYE-BYE, TOO

 

Another complication of the looming uncapped year is that teams won't be able to use so-called option bonuses in order to reduce the cap hit resulting from the first year of a player's contract.  In previous years, the player's signing bonus often would be split into two accrual dates -- one as of the date on which the contract is executed and another early in the following league year.  Thus, the cap charge in the first year would reflect only the proration of the actual signing bonus, along with any other compensation paid that year.  Then, in the next year, the proration for the option bonus would begin to hit the cap.

 

Based on a memo circulated by the NFLPA regarding the uncapped year, any fully guaranteed payments in 2007 or beyond are treated as a 2006 signing bonus.  Likewise, any "off-season roster bonus" or "off-season reporting bonus" or "off-season workout bonus" paid in 2007 is treated as a 2006 signing bonus.   However, it's presently unclear whether a non-guaranteed option bonus due in 2007 will count as a signing bonus in 2006. 

 

Even if a 2007 option bonus isn't part of the 2006 signing bonus calculation, the broad definition of "Salary" contained in the CBA means that any option bonus paid in 2007 or beyond will fall within the scope of the 30 percent rule.  Thus, it will be impossible -- absent a multi-million-dollar base salary in 2006 -- for a team to push a multi-million-dollar option bonus in 2007.

 

This glitch will wreak the most havoc on the signing of draft picks at the top of round one.  The rookie pool limits the total amount of money that can be spent under the 2006 cap on draft picks.  For the folks who get those big cash bonanzas, devices such as option bonuses and so-called "not likely to be earned" incentives based on minimal play time apparently won't be available in 2006 when the time comes to circumvent the rookie pool.

 

As a result, it will be even harder to negotiate contracts that secure for the first few picks in the draft the kind of windfall that they are accustomed to receiving.  And unless someone comes up with a way to squeeze those millions within the year one rookie pool, the windfalls simply might not be there in 2006. 

 

WEDNESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

 

Jets DE John Abraham reportedly "wants to get the hell out of New York" (hey, John -- if you complain loud enough, maybe they'll trade you to the Chiefs for a second-day pick).

 

Seahawks exec Mike Reinfeldt has withdrawn his name from consideration for a high-level front office position with the 49ers.

 

Steelers RB Duce Staley claims that he recently was robbed of $100,000 in jewelry (now he knows how the Steelers have felt the last two years, every time they've given him a game check).

 

From the "Things Not To Do When Preparing For The NFL Draft" file, police found two rifles, including an AK-47, in the apartment of Florida CB Dee Webb.

 

A federal judge is trying to find former Rams LB Mike Jones.

 

Titans coach Jeff Fisher wishes that QB Vince Young and QB Matt Leinart would throw at the combine.

 

Dolphins LB Zach Thomas is ahead of schedule in recovering from shoulder surgery.

 

The surgeons also apparently performed a partial lobotomy on Thomas, since he says that he wouldn't mind having T.O. for a teammate:  ''He's a lot nicer guy than most people know,'' Thomas said.  "All that TV stuff is just for show.''

 

The Giants plan to add a quarterback who can compete for the No. 2 position on the depth chart.

 

Falcons owner Arthur Blank could be buying the Atlanta Braves (heck, we didn't know Mike Vick wanted to play some baseball).

 

DT La'Roi Glover could be done in Big D.

 

WR Antwaan Randle El wants to sign with a team that will allow him to be both the punt returner and a starting receiver (maybe we're missing something, but isn't that the arrangement he already has in Pittsburgh?).

 

The 49ers have hired Johnnie Lynn to coach defensive backs.

 

The Chargers apparently are keeping QB A.J. Feeley.

 

POSTED 10:07 p.m. EST, February 14, 2006

 

KURT GETS CARDS' CASH

 

A year after signing a one-year, $4 million deal to join the Arizona Cardinals, quarterback Kurt Warner has re-upped for three more seasons.

 

John Clayton of ESPN.com reports that Warner's deal has a base value of $18 million over three years, and that the value could end up rising to more than $20 million.

 

The fact that Warner finagled another three seasons is a mild surprise, given that an injury he suffered during the season opened the door for Josh McCown to take back his former position as the starter.  The thinking at the time was that McCown was the more likely of the two to re-sign with the team. 

 

As it turns out, Warner is the holdover -- and McCown, a free agent as of March 3, likely will be headed elsewhere.

 

TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

 

Saints owner Tom Benson said on Tuesday that the team will be in New Orleans through at least 2010 (and as soon as he finished, the Commish released the pliers that had been attached to Benson's ballsack).

 

New Bills coach Dick Jauron says that the starting quarterback job will be up for grabs.

 

Jerry Rhome is the latest addition to Team Starry, Starry Night.

 

Former first-round bust Ryan Leaf will be the quarterbacks coach at West Texas A&M (psst, players -- be sure not to ask him any questions).

 

The son of Steelers defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau is showing off his bitches at Madison Square Garden.

 

In the hopes of filling up the Black Hole, the Raiders are offering eight levels of ticket prices (for you math buffs out there, that two levels for each of the team's four wins in 2005).

 

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis is taking the place of former Rams coach Mike Martz on the Competition Committee.

 

POSTED 9:05 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 10:52 a.m. EST, February 14, 2006

 

JETS GAUGING INTEREST IN ABRAHAM

 

Though we've yet to attach any validity to those rumors of a trade that would send defensive end John Abraham to the Chargers for quarterback Philip Rivers, a league source tells us that the New York Jets are calling teams in order to gauge interest in a possible deal for their 2005 franchise player.

 

This means that the Jets will slap the franchise tag on Abraham, again.  Based on his 2005 salary of $6.67 million, use of the tag in 2006 will require the Jets to offer him a one-year salary of $8 million -- and the team will need to devote that much money to him under the cap unless and until he is traded, or the tag is removed.

 

By rule, a non-exclusive franchise player can negotiate with other teams.  If the franchise player strikes a deal with another team, his current team has seven days to decide whether to match the offer.  If the offer is not matched, the new team must send two first-round picks to the player's former team.

 

Ironically, the Jets drafted Abraham with one of two first-round picks they obtained upon trading receiver Keyshawn Johnson to the Buccaneers prior to the 2000 draft.  With that said, the chances of the Jets getting two No. 1's for Abraham are slim and none.  Our guess is that he yields at most a one and a four, or a player of Rivers' ilk and maybe a three.

 

HOW ABOUT SENDING GIANTS TO ENGLAND?

 

The issue of the NFL playing a regular-season game in England has generated plenty of e-mail, with more than a few folks objecting to the notion of any team other than the attendance-challenged Cardinals, Jags, and Saints being required to give up 12.5 percent of their home schedule.  But since, if every team is required to play a home game on foreign soil, they'd only be sacrificing one home contest every 32 years, we think that the powers-that-be will be able to sell it.  (Perhaps the reward will be a home game the following season as part of the NFL's new Turkey Day tripleheader.) 

 

For the first foray off of the continent, one reader offered a great idea.  Why not send the New York Giants to England to host a game in 2006?  After all, the Giants were the team who picked up an extra "home" contest when the Week Two game "at" New Orleans was moved to the Meadowlands.  In all fairness, the Giants should now be willing to take the "home" show on the road to London.

 

With the Colts scheduled to visit the Giants in 2006, we think it would be more than appropriate for the NFL to send the Brothers Manning to Britain.  

 

We can hear them now. . . .  

 

"Blimey, look at his square head.  Bloody hell, what an ugly bloke.  Are you sure he's the one they say that little cowboy wants to bugger?"  

 

Elsewhere on the scheduling front, there are published reports that the season opener will be played in Pittsburgh, in keeping with the recent trend (i.e., the last two years) of giving the Super Bowl champs a home game to launch the new campaign on the Thursday night after Labor Day.  (Actually, a reader advises that page 219 of the Super Bowl XL program indicates that the 2006 season will open at the stadium of the winner of the game.)  

 

Our guess is that the Steelers will host the Broncos in a rematch of the AFC title game.    

 

CARDS FOCUSING ON WARNER

 

With the market for veteran quarterbacks on the thin side (again), we're hearing that the Arizona Cardinals are continuing to try to re-sign quarterback Kurt Warner.  Acquired a year ago after he was released by the Giants, Warner signed a one-year, $4 million deal, in the apparent hopes that he would play at a sufficiently high level to make him a darling of free agency.

 

The strategy didn't quite work, but Warner performed well enough in Arizona to keep the Cards very interested in bringing him back for another go.

 

Perhaps Warner will dip his toe into the free agency pool before inking a new deal in 'Zona.  The Dolphins might be looking for a new starter, and there's an opportunity to take the reins in Cincy and Minnesota until their franchise quarterbacks with blown out knees are ready to return.

 

Warner's best bet to hold onto the job, however, is with the Cardinals.  Especially if the team pumps up its running game.  Recently, Warner said that he plans to lobby the organization to sign tailback Edgerrin James.  So it sure sounds to us as if, in the end, Warner will be wearing the white helmet with the pissed-off parakeet on the sides. 

 

We're also told that the Cardinals are less likely to keep on-and-off starter Josh McCown, who apparently wants more money than his play to date otherwise justifies.

 

And as to a tip we received that Bengals quarterback Jon Kitna recently was seen on a flight out of Phoenix, the chances that Kitna were meeting with the Cards are slim and none.  First, they're currently focused on Warner.  Second, the free agency period hasn't launched yet, meaning that any visits or discussions between players and possible new teams is forbidden.

 

We're not saying that talks don't occur prematurely.  When the scouts and agents gather in Indy next week for the combine, you can bet that there will be plenty of discussions regarding the hypothetical market for certain hypothetical players who might be interested, hypothetically, in changing teams.  But few, if any, teams would blatantly invite to the facility a guy who won't technically be free to talk to other teams until March 3.

 

CHAD COULD GET CHOPPED

 

With the Jets $26 million over the 2006 cap and two weeks from the deadline for dumping the fat, the Jets have approached quarterback Chad Pennington regarding the possibility of taking a significant pay cut.

 

Scheduled to make $9 million in wages this season, Pennington reportedly has been asked to cut his pay down to $1 million.

 

Pennington's career has been marred by injury of late, with a shoulder problem causing him to miss most of the 2005 season.  With a new coaching staff and a new G.M. in place, the Jets understandably are skittish about Pennington's ability to return to a high level of performance.

 

Because Pennington's contract includes a $3 million roster bonus due on March 3, the issue most likely will be resolved sooner rather than later.  

 

(Note to any inexperienced agents:  When dealing with a roster bonus, insist it come due as early as possible in the league year.  This will force the team to make a decision on the player before all of the free agency money is spent.  Pennington's deal is an example of good negotiations by the agent; Redskins linebacker LaVar Arrington's contract -- with a $6.5 million roster bonus due in July -- isn't.)

 

Although it was wise for agent Tom Condon to include that $3 million roster bonus with an early March due date, we have a feeling that Condon's next maneuver won't be quite as deft.  We predict that Condon will advise Pennington to hold firm at his $9 million in expected income.  Not because it's in Pennington's best interests to force a release (it isn't), but because it's not in Condon's best interests to be associated with such a significant haircut.

 

Then again, we don't think the Jets really want Pennington to eat $8 million in salary and bonus money.  It's an opener, in our view, aimed at allowing Pennington and Condon to save some face by working the number back up to $4 million or so for 2006, with a $1.5 million roster bonus and a $2.5 million salary.  

 

Even under those circumstances, we're not sure that Condon will allow Pennington to budge.  Instead, our guess is that Condon would rather take Pennington to the open market, where he would sign a contract that will look like another blockbuster on paper, even if it really isn't. 

 

TUESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

 

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis didn't like the fact that WR Chad Johnson played cornerback at the Pro Bowl:  "I have a thought on that, which I'll keep to myself," Lewis said.  "I don't think it was right."

 

Former Packers head coach Mike Sherman is close to joining the Texans.

 

The start of free agency could get pushed back to April 1, if it appears that sufficient progress has been made on getting the CBA extended (man, that sure sounds familiar).

 

The Commish made his third visit to New Orleans in less than three months (he'd better back off a bit or people will start saying he's got a goomah down there).

 

Steven Wilks is the new defensive backs coach in Chicago.

 

The Wisconsin Badgers might play a game at Lambeau Field (hey, it might be the only way the Packers actually win one there in the foreseeable future).

 

T.O. could be the centerpiece of a reality show (which makes no sense, since "reality" is a concept that Owens has proven he's unable to grasp). 

 

Falcons QB Mike Vick will finally have a realistic chance to get his hands on a Lombardi.

 

Former Jets coach Herm Edwards should feel right at home in Kansas City, given that the Chiefs' salary cap is nearly as big of a mess as the one he left behind.

 

The Broncos are negotiating with DE John Engleberger, whose contract has voided and who otherwise will become a free agent on March 3. 

 

Vikings owner Zygi Wilf will unveil plans Thursday to develop land around the proposed site of a new stadium.

 

Cowboys DE Greg Ellis might not be finished in Dallas, after all.

 

Former Vikings defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell, 58, is filing for retirement:  "I don't want to retire," he said.  "I'm being forced into retirement."

 

Although WR Koren Robinson is a free agent, the Vikings wisely finagled the right to match any offer he receives from another team.

 

Tom Walsh is expected to be named the offensive coordinator in Oakland (man, that sure sounds familiar).

 

The Bills plan to slap the franchise tag on CB Nate Clements.

 

USC defensive backs coach Rocky Seto has declined an offer to coach linebackers in Buffalo.

 

POSTED 10:27 p.m. EST, February 14, 2006

 

VINCE CHOOSES NOT TO THROW?

 

Less than a month after agent Major Adams said that Texas quarterback Vince Young will throw at the upcoming scouting combine, Adams now says that Young might not throw, after all.

 

"We want to make sure it's something we want to do and something that's best for Vincent," said Young's agent, Major Adams.

 

Asked why it might not be in Young's best interests to throw at the combine, Adams said, "Unfamiliar surroundings, unfamiliar receivers."

 

Adams denies that the decision is linked in any way to Young's poor showing in a college skills competition aired by ESPN the day before the Super Bowl.

 

Elsewhere on Team Starry, Starry Night, legendary Houston litigator and major UT booster Joe Jamail reportedly will advise Young during contract negotiations.  Though Jamail will be required to walk a fine line lest he have his knuckles rapped by the NFLPA, Jamail apparently has helped other former Longhorns.

 

Said Jamail, according to The Dallas Morning News:  "I've helped a lot of former Texas players by reviewing their contracts before they sign them -- Roy Williams, Cory Redding, there's a lot of them, Cedric [Benson], Derrick Johnson. . . .  I'm not an agent and I don't try to be, I just look them over to make sure they're not getting tricked or fooled."

 

Memo to NFL teams -- don't piss this guy off.  He is regarded in some circles as the best trial lawyer in America, and he does whatever is necessary to represent his client.

 

And sometimes more than what is necessary.

 

In 1994, the Delaware Supreme Court found that Jamail had behaved in "an extraordinarily rude, uncivil, and vulgar manner" due in part to the following excerpt from a deposition in the case of Paramount Communications Inc. v. QVC Network, Inc.:

 

-------------------------------

 

Q. . . .  Do you have any idea why Mr. Oresman was calling that material to your attention?

 

MR. JAMAIL:  Don't answer that. How would he know what was going on in Mr. Oresman’s mind?  Don't answer it.  Go on to your next question.

 

MR. JOHNSTON:  No, Joe --

 

MR. JAMAIL:  He's not going to answer that.  Certify it.  I'm going to shut it down if you don't go to your next question.

 

MR. JOHNSTON:  No.  Joe, Joe --

 

MR. JAMAIL:  Don't "Joe" me, asshole.  You can ask some questions, but get off that.  You could gag a maggot off a meat wagon. . . . .

 

-------------------------------

 

Wait a minute.  Maybe this guy has the right stuff to be an agent, after all.

MONDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

 

From the "Even On A Heavy News Day We'd Still Find A Spot For This One" file, Gonzaga has asked its students to stop yelling "Brokeback Mountain" at opposing basketball players (of course, that's the ideal way to get them -- and the fans of every other NCAA team -- to keep doing it).

 

The doctor who juiced up several Panthers has pleaded guilty to a charge of conspiracy.

 

Dick Jauron has added three more assistants to his staff, including former Bills backup QB Alex Van Pelt.

 

Purdue offensive coordinator Jim Chaney is the new assistant offensive line coach of the Rams; new coach Scott Linehan hired three other assistants on Monday.

 

Top Georgia Bulldogs recruiter Rodney Garner has opted not to accept a coaching position with the Saints.

 

CB Deion Sanders has announced his retirement.  Again.

 

Welcome to NFL Europe, Drew Henson.  (If you didn't miss baseball yet, you sure as hell will.)

 

The Soup Nazi has added some new ingredients to his Jambalaya.

 

POSTED 7:09 p.m. EST; UPDATED 7:25 pm. EST, February 13, 2006

 

LONDON GAME A "DONE DEAL"

 

An industry source with knowledge of the contents of a confidential NFL communication tells us that the league already has decided to play a 2006 regular season game in London's Wembley Stadium.

 

"It's a done deal," said the source.

 

The league apparently will hold off on making any announcements regarding the game until more information is obtained regarding ongoing construction at the venue.  The official Wembley Stadium web site promises that the new digs will be ready by the May 13 FA Cup final, but recent published reports peg the chances of the work being completed at only 70 percent.  

 

Though the teams remain undetermined, the England game most likely will involve a matchup far more compelling than the 49ers and the Cardinals, who met in Mexico City in 2005.  We're also hearing that the game is likely to occur the week before both teams' byes, so that they will have ample time to recover from the trip to Europe before playing their next games. 

 

Because London is five hours ahead of New York, the game undoubtedly won't be a prime-time affair in the USA.  Instead, look for either a 1:00 p.m. or 4:00 p.m. Eastern start on a Sunday afternoon.

 

LAMONTE URGED MARTZ TO TAKE LIONS GIG

 

We're hearing that Mike Martz ended up taking the job as offensive coordinator with the Lions in large part because his agent, Bob LaMonte, saw it as the only way to rehabilitate Martz's image after a messy breakup with his former team, the Rams.

 

Apparently, the Rams were bad-mouthing Martz to anyone/everyone who would listed.  So LaMonte concluded, we're told, that Martz should join a team like the Lions, which desperately needs an offensive enema, and then turn the attack around while at the same time proving that he isn't an asshole.

 

Regardless of whether, you know, he really is one.

 

POSTED 10:54 a.m. EST, February 13, 2006

 

JOHNSON THROWN IN THE TANK

 

Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson is in hot water, again, after allegedly threatening a police officer on Sunday.

 

Johnson was charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest after showing high respect for an officer of the law by allegedly uttering the following:  "You ain't the only one with a Glock.  If it wasn't for your gun and your badge, I'd kick your ass." 

 

We kind of like that one.  It can be adapted to so many other scenarios, obviating the need to actually kick someone's ass.

 

"If it wasn't for the fact that you pay my salary, I'd kick your ass."

 

"If it wasn't for the fact that you gave birth to me, I'd kick your ass."

 

"If it wasn't for the fact that you can kick my ass, I'd kick your ass."

 

Alas, modern society now frowns not only on the actual kicking of asses, but also on threats to do the same.  

 

The brouhaha occurred when an officer was ticketing a limo that was double parked (man, that sure sounds familiar).  When the officer tried to arrest Johnson, he refused to be cuffed.  He eventually got Maced, and was overpowered by a group of officers.

 

The bigger problem for Johnson, as we see it, is that he currently is on probation for charges of driving around with a gun in his car.  Judges who give criminal defendants probation usually don't take kindly to this type of behavior, which means that Johnson's probation could be revoked -- and he'll end up behind bars.

 

Johnson also is subject to discipline pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy.  Our guess is that, upon receiving a letter from Paul Tagliabue informing him of the terms of his coming suspension, Johnson will say to himself, "If he wasn't the Commissioner, I'd kick his ass."   

 

Johnson, a 2004 draft pick of the Bears, played in every game during the 2005 season, starting in four.  He finished with 19 tackles, six assists, and five sacks. 

 

MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

 

Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander, less than three weeks from free agency, apparently had Charlotte on his mind while in Honolulu:  "I never really thought I could be with another team.  But it was neat to be with the Carolina guys." 

 

Now for a different kind of "recruiting" -- Super Bowl beer commercials played well with folks not yet old enough to legally buy and drink the stuff.

 

The Fritz Pollard Alliance is going to try to get the NFL to extend the Rooney Rule to key front office positions (the league already "strongly encourages" the inclusion of minority candidates in this regard, but the Bills and Jets apparently didn't get the memo before recently hiring General Managers).

 

From the "Maybe There Were Protection Problems" file, Peyton Manning's passer rating in the Pro Bowl was, by our calculation, 30.78.

 

Bengals WR Chad Johnson took two snaps at cornerback in the Pro Bowl; "He played good," said Coach Kevlar, whose skill at evaluating and coaching up defensive backs is second to none.  (Oh, wait -- we mean second to most.)

 

The Browns are gearing up for the combine and free agency.

 

To any members of the Seahawks who genuinely believe that a victory in the Pro Bowl "takes the sting out" of their loss in the Super Bowl, we have one question:  "Can you please bring back some of that crazy-ass Hawaiian ganja you were smoking last week?"

 

Former NFL linebacker Bryan Cox will again get one chance per year to flip off the Buffalo fans.

 

Broncos CB Champ Bailey, who played most of the season with his shoulder in a harness, says that he won't need surgery on it during the offseason.

 

The Broncos are working to get their cap figure under control before free agency starts.

 

POSTED 8:30 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 9:58 a.m. EST, February 13, 2006

 

CAP GUYS VS. FOOTBALL GUYS

 

We've written several items over the past few weeks regarding the growing front-office tug-o-war between the "cap guys" and the "football guys."

 

The term "cap guys" refers generally to business types with no experience playing, coaching, or scouting pro football, but who made their mark by navigating the salary cap and negotiating contracts fitting thereunder.

 

"Football guys" are the folks with the experience drawing up X's and O's, breaking down film, and/or crisscrossing the country to eyeball college players.

 

With the promotion of confirmed cap guy Mike Tannenbaum to G.M. of the Jets, the debate has gone to a new level.  Some football guys believe that Tannenbaum's inexperience in the football side of the business will translate to doom for the franchise, since he doesn't and won't have sufficient respect from the scouts or from the coaching staff, as an evaluator of personnel, when he breaks the tie on draft day between the guy the coaches want and the guy the scouts are recommending.

 

But there's two sides to every story.  And the cap guys have a perspective on this, too.  Part of the sense we're getting is that the cap guys think that the football guys might be trying to make what they do seem so specialized and difficult as a defense mechanism.

 

Says one league source:  "Today's NFL is a business as much as it is a game.  An organization cannot be successful without a good coach, a good personnel director, and a good cap/contracts guy.  It seems is the en vogue thing to do is for 'football guys' to trash the 'non-football guys.'  I find it amusing that it's okay for a 'football guy' to want to fool around with the cap and contracts, which is becoming more and more prevalent, but it's taboo for a 'non-football guy' to opine on whether an athlete can walk and chew gum at the same time."

 

And it's possible that, when it comes to being a G.M., the question of whether the guy has a football or cap background is irrelevant.  The bigger issue is the guy's ability to run the operation.

 

"The G.M. . . . has to be an outstanding administrator," said the source.  "The structure can work with a head coach G.M., a football guy G.M., or a non-football guy G.M. 

 

"Every structure, no matter what the structure is, must have . . . the head coach, the top football evaluator, and the cap/contracts/football ops guy.  The key is that people don’t have agendas, work together, and do what they do best and don't try to be what they are not and there are checks and balances.

 

"A 'non-football guy' can be very good in that role as a General Manager…strategic planner, consensus builder, process manager, etc.  If he is working with a head coach (who always has significant input on personnel no matter the structure) and a top football evaluator (whose job is to manage the personnel department and evaluate talent), then the “non-football guy G.M.” doesn't evaluate the talent himself, he listens to those who do the evaluating.  The benefit of this process is you don't have a football guy who falls in love with a certain player, you are relying on multiple opinions on a player instead of the danger of relying on one opinion, and you have somebody who is always focused on the big picture."

 

But the source acknowledges that the cap guys generally should not try to evaluate talent.  (However, there's a school of though that talent evaluation is a skill that can be acquired and learned.)  By the same token, a football guy isn't qualified to be a G.M. when his only skill is talent evaluation, and if he doesn't understand the business of the game and cannot appreciate the bigger picture.

 

As the source said:  "The head coach should coach, the top football evaluator should evaluate talent, and the cap/contracts guy should negotiate contracts, manage the cap, and handle miscellaneous football operations.  Whoever is the best manager, consensus builder, strategic planner, etc. of the three should be the guy who is the G.M.  After that, chemistry, work ethic, good decisions, and a little luck make it succeed or fail." 

 

Before anyone determines that the Tannenbaum experiment in New York will be definitive as to the question of whether a cap guy can be a successful G.M., keep in mind that the Panthers have been utilizing a similar structure for several years, with former beat writer Marty Hurney serving as G.M. 

 

Then again, the system hasn't worked well in New Orleans, where bean counter Mickey Loomis inherited the G.M. gig after Randy Mueller was fired.

 

Even if Tannenbaum succeeds, the debate will continue to rage among league insiders, since it's human nature to carp and complain when guys get hired for key positions, in any setting.  There are only 32 G.M.-type jobs in the industry.  So whenever someone gets one of them, there will be other people who think that he didn't deserve it, whether it's because the guy is too young, like Tannenbaum, or too old, like Marv Levy.  Or that he doesn't have enough experience evaluating personnel, like Mickey Loomis.  Or he doesn't have enough business savvy, like Tannenbaum's predecessor, Terry Bradway.

 

The key, as we've heard time and again from folks who seem to know what they're doing, is to know your limitations. 

 

In other words, to know what you don't know.  To surround yourself with experts in area in which you're not one.  To hire people whose judgment you trust -- and then trust it.

 

It sounds easy.  But not many organizations have quite figured out how to put those principles into practice.  That's because ego and pride inevitably get in the way -- regardless of whether the person calling the shots is a football guy or a cap guy.

 

NFL CROSSING THE POND?

 

One of our readers in England tells us that, during the broadcast of the Pro Bowl on Sky Sports, an NFL official said that talks are nearly finalized to bring two teams to Wembley Stadium for a regular season game in 2006.

 

Per the reader, the person said on the air that the deal is 80-to-85 percent complete, and that the agreement is likely to be reached within the next two weeks, with an announcement coming within a month thereafter.  The teams most likely will come from the AFC.

 

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello tells us that the NFL is looking at the possibility of playing a regular season game in London, and that no decision has been made.

 

In 2005, the NFL sent the 49ers and Cardinals to Mexico for a game that drew rough three times the paying customers that the game likely would have attracted if it were played in Arizona.  The bigger challenge will be for the NFL to persuade a team that routinely draws a big crowd to give up a home game.

 

POSTED 6:51 p.m. EST, February 12, 2006

 

SHAUN HAS HIS CAKE, EATS IT TOO

 

Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander got to spend the week in Hawaii schmoozing with the Panthers' coaching staff, but didn't have to risk injury by actually playing in the game.

 

It's the best of both worlds.  Fun in the sun, while at the same time no chance of having his looming payday get screwed up by actually, you know, earning his trip to Hawaii.

 

Alexander headlines a free-agency class that hits the open market on March 3.  Increasing rumor and speculation have linked him to the Panthers in recent days.  During a live interview with ESPN's Suzy Kolber in the first quarter of the Pro Bowl (which for some bizarre reason the football-averse Florio Jr. actually is interested in watching), Alexander conceded that Panthers receiver Steve Smith has been lobbying him to relocate to Carolina.

 

It wouldn't be the first time that future matches were made at the Pro Bowl.  A couple of years ago, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb commenced the process of recruiting then-49ers receiver Terrell Owens in Hawaii, where Owens was being coached by Andy Reid and the rest of the Philly staff.

 

The bigger issue, as we see it, is the contract that the Seahawks, the Panthers, or anyone else will put on the table.  Alexander likely wants a signing bonus in the neighborhood of $20 million, but that's a number that the market for aging running backs simply won't justify. 

 

Our guess is that, unless the 'Hawks are willing to pay more than another team will put on the table, Alexander is going to relocate for 2006.  The favorites, in our opinion, are the Panthers, Cardinals, 49ers, Packers, and Vikings.

 

POSTED 10:44 a.m. EST; LAST UPDATED 12:08 p.m. EST, February 12, 2006

 

LEWIS WANTS OUT OF BALTIMORE

 

Buried in a Saturday story regarding the desire of Ravens safety Ed Reed for a new contract is a startling admission from G.M. Ozzie Newsome.

 

Pro Bowl linebacker Ray Lewis asked for a trade prior to the 2005 season.

 

Per Mike Preston of The Baltimore Sun, the Ravens have sent out "feelers" regarding Lewis, but have only been offered a second-round pick in exchange.