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POSTED 10:48 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:59 p.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

BUSHES TO FACE TAX EVASION CHARGES?

We've been racking our brains for the past several hours in an effort to discern the potential federal charges that could be pursued against Saints running back Reggie Bush and/or his family as a result of allegations that they received benefits in violation of NCAA rules at a time when Bush was otherwise eligible to play college football.

And then it hit us, like a big board with a rusty nail in it.

Tax evasion.

There's nothing illegal about a college football player getting paid by private citizens who might be interested in representing the player when the time comes to get paid by a pro football team -- as long as the kid getting the benefits declares the benefits as income and pays the corresponding tax.

In this case, rumors and reports have been rampant regarding the magnitude of the money that has been transferred to Reggie Bush and/or his family.  New Era Sports & Entertainment alleges that it paid to the Bushes $100,000, and that Reggie's parents lived in a house owned by New Era principal Michael Michaels without paying $54,000 in rent. 

There are also whispers of other payments to the Bushes that have come from other sources.

In the end, that might be one of the reasons for the FBI's desire to talk to Reggie and his parents, despite lawyer David Cornwell's suggestion to Bernie Wilson of the AP that the feds are interested in the conduct of New Era.

With that said, let's be clear on this.  We're not "reporting" that the feds are planning to claim that the Bushes received payments from prospective agents and failed to pay taxes on the income.  There's no evidence that the FBI is even targeting Reggie and/or his family at this point.

But given the reports that have surfaced to date, would anyone be surprised to eventually learn that:  (1) the Bushes got paid; and (2) it didn't occur to them that Uncle Sam should get a cut of it?

Indeed, Al Capone ultimately was brought down by tax evasion charges, as explained by the FBI on its own web site.

Though it's possible that the FBI's primary motivation in opening an investigation is to explore whether Michaels or anyone else connected to New Era committed extortion in connection with efforts to settle the agency's threatened legal claims against the Bush family, the feds aren't going to pick and choose.  Every potential violation of the law will be explored and, if justified, prosecuted.

As to the viability of an extortion charge against New Era and/or its representatives, we've previously explained that there's nothing wrong with a lawyer demanding payment of money in an attempt to resolve a dispute before filing suit.  In this case, however, we were troubled by one of the letters sent by New Era lawyer Brian Watkins, in which he raises the possible involvement of USC in the settlement discussions.  Since New Era has no apparent claim against USC, Watkins' efforts could be viewed as an attempt to extract hush money from the Trojans in order to avoid the negative publicity that would result (or, as the case may be, has resulted) if (or, as the case may be, when) the caa-caa hits the Cuisinart.

We don't know how all of this will turn out, but we're certain of one thing.  The FBI will get to the truth.  It's possible that the FBI already knows most if not all of the truth, and that the "investigation" is merely an effort to determine whether one or more of the relevant parties might be inclined to lie to a federal officer. 

Martha Stewart can explain the downside.

Moreover, the FBI's work will in turn make it far easier for the NCAA and the Pac-10 to continue their investigation into the matter, since the Bushes have to date stonewalled in order to minimize their potential liability to New Era.  Now, lawyer David Cornwell says that they'll gladly talk to the feds.

Dave, you'd better think this one through.  If your clients have gotten payments in the past and if they haven't declared the money as income, it's time to shift the limo into damage control mode -- which undoubtedly will require them to come clean and pay the back taxes, with interest and penalties.  (Unlike most folks charged with tax evasion, the Bushes can pay the bill without taking out seven mortgages.)

Sure, an admission that payments were received prior to December 2005 would cost Reggie his Heisman.  But giving up one piece of hardware is far better than banging out the number "5" on many more thin, rectangular metal plates for the next 12-to-36 months.

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TAYLOR COPS A PLEA

In an outcome that might have been far different if prosecutor Michael Grieco a/k/a DJ Dirty Sanchez hadn't pimped his involvement in the case on his myspace.com profile, Redskins safety Sean Taylor has avoided a maximum sentence of 46 years in jail by pleading guilty to two misdemeanor charges.

Under the deal, he'll spend no time in jail.

Taylor's trial, which had been delayed several times, was schedule to commence on July 10.  Recent delays were due in part to the fact that Grieco had withdrawn from the case following the disclosure of his profane and borderline pornographic myspace page.

Earlier this year, Taylor rejected a plea deal that would have resulted in no jail time, but that would have required him to plead guilty to a felony.

The underlying incident occurred on June 1, 2005.  Taylor allegedly accosted persons whom he believed had stolen two of his ATVs, and he allegedly pulled a gun on them before starting a fight with one of the men.

The problem is that, in Florida, a conviction for pointing a gun at another person results in a mandatory minimum sentence of three years.  Taylor, the fifth overall pick in the 2004 draft, also would have been potentially required to reimburse the Redskins for millions in signing bonus money.

Taylor also has agreed to make 10 visits to inner city schools, and to donate $1,000 to each school that he visits.

He'll also likely be fined pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy.  It'll be interesting to see whether his past fines for on-field transgressions drives his ultimate punishment from the league even higher.  In January, for example, Taylor was fined $17,000 for spitting in the face of Tampa running back Michael Pittman.

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WEDNESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

The Lions have signed OT Ross Verba, who paid back a roster bonus to the Browns in 2005 in the hopes of landing a huge payday from another team that . . . never . . .  came.

Panthers RB DeShaun Foster says that's he ready to be the team's starting running back (and then he tripped over a shoelace and broke his hip).

Panthers running backs coach Jim Skipper has been promoted to assistant head coach. 

The Lions have cut QB Shaun King.

The Cowboys have signed RB Demetris Summers.

Former NFL receiver Donald Hayes is joining the Argos.

Seahawks DE Bryce Fisher has been charged with fourth-degree assault.  (He must be trying to get traded to the Bengals.)

John Jones is now the president of the Packers.

The Titans might make a run at QB Kerry Collins.

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POSTED 9:42 p.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

BENGALS CONSIDER RESCINDING RIGHTS TO NICHOLSON

There's talk in league circles that the Cincinnati Bengals are considering the possibility of rescinding their rights to linebacker A.J. Nicholson, the team's fifth-round pick in the 2006 draft.

Nicholson is wanted in Florida for felony burglary and other charges.  His former Florida State teammate, receiver Fred Rouse, has confessed to burgling the apartment of Seminole running back Lorenzo Booker.  Rouse has implicated Nicholson in the crime.

The Bengals are permitted to wash their hands of Nicholson, if they so choose.  Based on our analysis of Article XVI of the CBA and discussions with league insiders familiar with the relevant CBA terms, it appears that Nicholson would then enter the waiver system, with the team that is awarded his rights required only to tender the one-year rookie minimum salary of $275,000.  If no team makes a waiver claim, Nicholson would then be an unrestricted free agent.

And although Nicholson plunged to round five, he was regarded as one point as a first-round talent.  Thus, it's possible that someone will take a flier on him.

Another issue in this regard is whether the Bengals can get rid of Nicholson for non-football reasons without inviting a non-injury grievance.  The CBA contemplates that criminal behavior will be penalized with the Personal Conduct Policy only, and that teams shouldn't take the law into their own hands.

The smartest play for the Bengals, then, might be to keep Nicholson around until training camp and the preseason, regarding Nicholson as nothing more than a Rudy-type tackling dummy.  Then, they can cut him under circumstances that appear to be indistinguishable from the mere act of trimming the roster.

If they take this approach, however, they should insist on Nicholson signing only a deal with no signing bonus, and possibly with roster bonuses based on each week that he's on the active roster.

Still, we think it's time for the Bengals to make a strong statement against anti-social behavior.  There are far too many turds on the team, and cutting the cord on Nicholson would send the right kind of message to the rest of the roster that the franchise won't put up with certain types of behavior.

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POSTED 8:22 p.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

FEDS ENTER BUSH FRAY

Bernie Wilson of the Associated Press reports that the FBI has opened an investigation regarding the events surrounding the recruitment of New Orleans Saints tailback Reggie Bush during his tenure at USC.

Bush's lawyer, David Cornwell, said that he was interviewed by the FBI last week regarding "potential federal crimes."  Cornwell also said that he plans to make Bush and his parents available for interview.

"They've asked now to interview Reggie and his parents," Cornwell told Wilson. "I intend to cooperate, yes."

The FBI would neither confirm nor deny the existence of the investigation, a response that often is interpreted as an implicit confirmation.

Meanwhile, attorney Brian Watkins, who represents New Era Sports & Entertainment, told Wilson that he has not been contacted by the FBI.

Though Cornwell predictably is spinning the FBI's interest in the matter as an investigation of New Era and its principals, we think it's premature at this point to make any conclusions regarding the actual targets of the investigation.  Heck, everyone connected to the situation could be a subject of scrutiny.

Especially if anyone tries to get cute with the feds and tell them anything other than the unvarnished truth.  In fact, Cornwell would be wise to retain an expert in criminal law with extensive experience in federal prosecutions.  Someone needs to give Bush sound advice at this juncture, and it's been obvious since the story of Bush's alleged receipt of premature benefits from New Era first broke that the one thing Bush hasn't received is wise and prudent counsel.

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POSTED 5:51 p.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

McNAIR SECURES HOLLOW VICTORY OVER TITANS

Arbitrator John Feerinck ruled on Wednesday that the Tennessee Titans must permit quarterback Steve McNair to workout at the team's facility.

The ruling is a victory for McNair, who filed a grievance after the team sent him home at the outset of the offseason program in order to avoid potential liability for his full 2006 salary if he were to suffer a season-ending injury during the sessions.

But the victory is a hollow one, given that the offseason programs are winding down.  On May 25, the Titans pulled the plug on offseason workouts until June 13, at which time the team will reconvene for only six additional practice sessions.

And McNair has secured the right to attend.  Big deal.

He probably won't show up.  If he does, it's highly unlikely that he'll suffer an injury that will require the team to pay his entire $9 million salary for 2006.

Moreover, Article XXXV, Section 4 of the CBA states that a player is eligible to be paid his base salary only if he is working out at the club's facility "under the direction of a Club official."  So if McNair shows up at Baptist Park on Thursday to pump some iron, the Titans must allow him to do so -- but we can find no requirement in the CBA that they provide a club official to "direct" McNair's efforts.

As a result, the stare down between the Titans and Ravens will continue.  It's a foregone conclusion that McNair will sign with the Ravens once he's cut by the Titans.  At this point, with only a few weeks remaining in the offseason program, it makes no sense for Baltimore to send a draft pick to Tennessee.  Come July, when the cap-strapped Titans need to clear up space in order to sign draft picks, McNair will get the heave-ho, and the Ravens will be able to sign the 2003 MVP without giving anything to the Titans for his rights.

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POSTED 3:04 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 4:25 p.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

BENGALS DRAFT PICK WANTED FOR BURGLARY

Joe Schad of ESPN.com reports that former Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, selected by the Bengals in the fifth round of the 2006 draft, is wanted for two felonies and a misdemeanor after allegedly stealing $1,700 in electronics equipment from the home of a current Florida State player.

Said a league source in response to the news:  "A.J. Nicholson, off most teams' draft boards, a major league turd . . . .  Way to go, Marvin."

Both Nicholson and former Seminole receiver Fred Rouse, who was dismissed from the team at the end of the 2005 season, have been charged with burgling the home of running back Lorenzo Booker.

Rouse confessed to the crime on May 28 after a receiving glove with his jersey number stitched into it was found at the scene.  (Gee, and we thought he'd gone to FSU on an academic scholarship.)  Rouse has implicated Nicholson in the incident, which occurred on May 20.  

A warrant has been issued for Nicholson's arrest.  He faces charges of felony burglary of a dwelling, felony grand theft, and misdemeanor criminal mischief.

As one league source told us on April 29 after the Bengals drafted Nicholson and USC defensive end Frostee Rucker, "What the f--- are they doing?  Rucker and Nicholson?  Give me a break.  They are sabotaging the organization by picking bad players like [Odell] Thurman, [Chris] Henry, and those two."

Earlier this year, Henry was arrested in Florida for allegedly pointing a gun at a group of people, an offense that carries a three-year mandatory minimum sentence.

Our suggestion?  Bengals owner Mike Brown should move the team to Florida, and hope that enough of Marvin's misfits will qualify for work release.

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WRONG AGAIN, LEN

Several readers, and at least one league source, have pointed out to us a pretty significant error in the article penned by ESPN.com's Len Pastabelli regarding the looming June 1 cap casualty trigger.

The article is generally thorough and substantively accurate regarding the decreased significance of the CBA quirk that allows teams to release players will multiple years remaining on their contracts after June 1 and spread the cap hit resulting from the unallocated portion of the signing bonus over two league years, thereby reducing the cap charge in the current season.  However, the item is marred by Pasquarelli's mistaken belief that Patriots safety Rodney Harrison was a post-June 1 cut of the San Diego Chargers.

Writes Len:  "Players such as standout strong safety Rodney Harrison -- released by San Diego in June 2003 and quickly snapped up by the New England Patriots, whom he helped lead to a Super Bowl title that season -- won't be available."

But Harrison wasn't available after June 1.  Instead, the Chargers terminated his contract as part of a $13 million cap purge on February 27, 2003.   

And that's one of the reasons not specifically mentioned in Pasquarelli's story regarding the decline of post-June 1 free agency.  Often, teams desperate to get in line with the salary cap at the outset of the new league year in March will take the full brunt of the hit resulting from the acceleration of the unallocated signing bonus money in order to realize the net savings due to the dumping of the guy's salary.

How does both Pasquarelli and his editor(s) make such an obvious factual blunder?

We're not suggesting that we're without our own flaws.  But this here operation is a guy with a computer and a phone, not the leading sports conglomerate in the world.

But this shouldn't be regarded as a general slam against ESPN.  Sure, the organization ultimately is responsible for the work product of its employees, but like any sizeable organization there are the good, the bad, and the Linda Cohn.

So at the risk of seeming even pettier than we really are, we think that someone in Bristol needs to keep this thing in mind when the time comes to fill out Len's annual performance evaluation. 

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POSTED 9:10 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:59 a.m. EDT, May 31, 2006

OFFSEASON CONTACT A FACT OF LIFE?

We've gotten several e-mails from readers who take issue with our decision to take issue with the prevalence of contact in offseason workouts.  In lieu of responding to each message individually, here's our position.

First, we realize that it's football, and that guys hit each other in football.  We've generally got no problem with that (especially since we're not the ones being hit).

Second, the rules say -- albeit somewhat vaguely -- that there shall be no contact during offseason workouts.

Third, the players aren't allowed to wear pads during offseason workouts, which means that many of them (especially the linemen) get far more bruised and battered during minicamp drills than during practices in which their bodies are better protected against being struck with hands, elbows, knees, feet, and helmets.

Fourth, the players pay dues to the NFL Players Association in exchange (presumably) for protection against rules violations by their employers, the 32 NFL teams.  If the rules prohibit offseason contact and offseason contact is occurring and the NFLPA is doing nothing about it except in cases where complaints are filed, the players aren't getting their money's worth.

One league insider believes that the union definitely won't be doing anything about the issue in the short term because NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw still hopes to succeed Paul Tagliabue as NFL Commissioner.

Another league source tells us that, regardless of what the rules say, there will always be contact during offseason workouts.

"Truthfully," the source said, "the only way to eliminate contact is not allow players to line up across from each other.  The contact that happens in just a natural result of the way the game is played.  The league and the [NFLPA] know about it and have to condone it for that reason.  The degree of force with which the players attack each other is the hard thing to regulate."

So why have a rule if, due to human nature or otherwise, the rule is going to be ignored?  That's really our point here.  Give the teams a certain number of offseason practices in pads.  Heck, if the NCAA can let student-athletes get banged around for a full month of the semester that, in theory, shouldn't be disrupted by football activities, why shouldn't the guys who get paid (legally) to play put the pads on, too?

And the NFL had a great opportunity to secure permission for full-contact, full-pad offseason practices in conjunction with the most recent round of CBA negotiations, in which the NFLPA generally cleaned the NFL's clock when it came to non-economic terms and conditions.

Really, it's still not too late to fix this.  The new CBA, to our knowledge, has yet to be finalized.  Here's hoping that the powers-that-be stumble across a little common sense and realize that it's far better to acknowledge the fact that contact is occurring and to take steps to let the players stay healthy by putting them in pads during minicamps and OTAs.

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SPIELMAN'S ROLE CLEARLY UNCLEAR

New Vikings V.P. of player personnel Rick Spielman provided few details during his introductory news conference as to whether he's the rock, the scissors, or the paper in the reconfigured Minnesota front office.

Spielman, a surprise hire which came at a time when it appeared that the position vacated by Fran Foley wouldn't be filled in 2006, said that he'll be in charge of the personnel department, that director of college scouting Scott Studwell will run the draft, and that coach Brad Childress "will be running the coaches side." 

The picture painted by Spielman is that decisions will be made by consensus.  

"All of the successful teams are able to interact and communicate to get on the same page when it comes time to make decisions that are best for the organizations," said Spielman, who signed a three-year contract with the team.  "I may want to do this, but Rob [Brzezinski] will come to me and say from a cap standpoint this is why you can't do that.  Oh, OK.  Or the coach may say from a schematic standpoint, this is why you can't do that.  Everyone has to work together."

Great idea, in theory.  But a little harder to apply when four different guys with four different personalities have genuinely held but diverging ideas about what's best for the team.  Someone has to have the ability to break the tie, and football front offices rarely resolve their disagreements with Chip 'n' Dale diplomacy.

Our guess?  Spielman will be the guy charged with building consensus by rubbing nuts.  And that's why his reputation as a "good guy" will serve him well in the job.

Said one league source:  "Rick was willing to work under any set of circumstances.  He couldn't get a sniff at any job.  Now [Childress and Brezeinski] know they have someone they can control, and they know Rick won't do anything as dumb as Foley and he won't rub people the wrong way, he's too good a person."

Still, Spielman's overall competence and effectiveness remain valid concerns.  His single season as an NFL G.M. was a nightmare.  Thrust into the Miami job in 2004 after Dan Marino backed away from a front-office gig less than a month after accepting it, the circumstances created an unhealthy sense of desperation within the organization as both Spielman and then-coach Dave Wannstedt knew that they needed to go deep into the playoffs or better in order to remain employed in South Florida.  Sure, it didn't help the cause when Ricky Williams abruptly retired.  But it was Wannstedt and Spielman who traded for the guy, and Ricky had a track record at the time he was acquired of oft-bizarre behavior.  Spielman and Wannstedt also sent a second-round pick to the Eagles for quarterback A.J. Feeley, who was a complete bust.  Shortly before the season started, they shipped defensive end Adewale Ogunleye to Chicago for receiver Marty Booker -- whose $3 million salary in 2006 could make him a former Dolphins before too long.

Opined another league source:  "Yes, he is a great guy, gets along with everyone, but he is average at evaluating and that is the most important part of the job.  If you look at the Miami drafts when he was running the scouting department you will see that they were below average at best."

Beyond raw ability, there are two other factors that, based on our discussions with multiple league insiders over the years, are crucial to the question of whether a guy is a good hire:  attention to detail and integrity.

As to the latter, we generally believe that Spielman passes the sniff test.  However, we're troubled by accounts from multiple readers of Spielman the ESPN football analyst crotch-nuzzling the Vikings in the days prior to the announcement of his hiring.  We don't have a problem with a guy pimping his moneymaker, as long as the connection is obvious.  Spielman's recent words of praise regarding the Vikings came at a time when no one knew that he was so close to getting hired by them, and it's a fact that should have been disclosed to the audience.

As to the former, Spielman said something during his introductory press conference that elicited from us a Krameresque head jerk.  Specifically, Spielman claimed that the term "Triangle of Authority" was label devised by the media, and not one that he believes is accurate in describing the Vikings' power structure.

Hoochiemama.  

Technically, the term "Triangle of Authority" originated in the media, since the media reported that it was a phrase coined by Vikings owner Zygi Wilf to describe the Vikings' power structure.  

The fact that Spielman didn't know this doesn't speak well of his overall preparation to pursue the job for which he has been hired, and it likewise doesn't reflect well on his ability to gather, process, and recall information that came his way as a member of the media.

Bottom line?  He's a nice guy with the skills to be a solid lieutenant, but never the captain.  As long as the Vikings know how to use him, and as long as he accepts the limits of his role, it shouldn't be a problem.

But if that title goes to his head (as it did with his predecessor), it's going to be yet another train wreck for a once-proud franchise that has had as bad a year outside the lines as any team in the history of professional sports.

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WEDNESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Jets QB Chad Pennington took snaps in 11-on-11 and 7-on-7 drills on Tuesday.

Former Dolphins RB John Avery isn't talking about having his Toronto touches chewed up by the arrival of Ricky Williams.

The Texans have interviewed Rick Mueller for their G.M. gig, and might not bring in anyone else.

There's a theory making the rounds in league circles that Packers director of pro personnel Reggie McKenzie's stellar interview for the Texans' job might have been aided by former Green Bay colleague Mike Sherman briefing him on the questions that were going to be asked, and regarding the manner in which those same questions had been answered by Broncos assistant G.M. Rick Smith.

A spokesman from the Miami Beach police department says that the charges against Steelers WR Santonio Holmes are "minor" and "nothing."

Cowboys seventh-round E.J. Whitley is out for the year after tearing an ACL during minicamp.

The Cowboys are taking another look-see at former South Carolina RB Demetris Summers, who was booted from the team in 2005 after failing a drug test.

C Jeremy Newberry is continuing his recovery from microfracture surgery.

Titans RB LenDale White (hamstring . . . . mmmm, ham) likely won't be able to participate in practice until training camp.

Cards RB Edgerrin James is skipping out on the team's voluntary workouts; it's not out of character for James to do it, but it'll be out of character for coach Denny Green to not be pissed about it.

The Browns have removed from an article on their official web site comments from G.M. Phil Savage regarding his belief that Christian football players are more successful.  (We suppose that this means he never said it.)

Good news for the Packers:  kicker and punter won't be the strongest two positions on the team this year.  Bad news for the Packers:  kicker and punter won't be the strongest two positions on the team this year.

Bucs RB Cadillac Williams dreams big (but, surprisingly, he craps small).

David Climer of the Nashville Tennessean wants Titans fans to have faith in the team's front office.  (Floyd sure as hell has earned it, hasn't he?)

Memo to Brad Rock of the Deseret Morning News -- don't poop on the wages earned by guys who give up their bodies for our amusement; even at their high salary levels, they're still generating millions in profit for the people who pay them. 

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POSTED 10:38 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:55 p.m. EDT, May 30, 2006

MORE EVIDENCE OF OFFSEASON CONTACT?

Thanks to all of our readers who have forwarded to us more photographic evidence that tends to confirm the widespread nature of prohibited contact during offseason workouts.

Let's have a look-see, shall we?

For starters, here's a shot from Seahawks camp, courtesy of king5.com:

Next, the background of this picture of Dusty Dvoracek attempting to pinch one off while levitating seems to reveal a receiver and a defensive back preparing for a little bump-and-run.

Also, a little something from the Eagles' web site, with the caption "[t]wo linemen get physical as Coach Castillo looks on":

The Packers get in on the pugilism, too:

Finally, the Colts' official web site has a veritable cornucopia of potentially incriminating photos, including these:

Keep 'em coming, folks.

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POSTED 6:59 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 7:45 p.m. EDT, May 30, 2006

LEAGUE OFFICE PEEVED AT SAVAGE "CHRISTIAN" COMMENTS

There's talk in league circles that the folks at Park Avenue aren't too happy with the recent remarks of Browns G.M. Phil Savage expressing a preference for Christian football players.

And some league insiders have opined that Savage "is out of his f--king mind for saying that stuff" to the media.

Said Savage, according to Tuesday's Canton Repository:  "I'm not an overly spiritual person.  If I was to go play golf with you guys, I'm sure I’d hit a few shots and probably say a couple cuss words.  We're all human.  But I have found through the years that having that relationship with Christ on a consistent basis helps you to remain calm in a storm.  That’s one thing I've learned over the last year and five months.

Expressing a preference for a certain religious group is a bad idea because it implies that other religious groups are disfavored.  So when, as we suggested earlier in the day, the Browns hire a Christian instead of a member of some other religions for a job with the team, Savage's words will be plastered all over the civil complaint and every other filing made in the ensuing lawsuit.

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THANK YOU, SPRINT PHONE

Because we suspected that the Chiefs would alter the minicamp highlight clip on the team's official web site containing images of contact drills that apparently run afoul of the CBA provision regarding offseason workouts, we tried to freeze-frame the video and paste a copy of the image onto the web site.

But without getting into the technical niceties, the process of getting the picture loaded onto the page was beyond our Commodore 64 skill set.

Enter the Samsung A900, available only through Sprint.  We took a picture of the image with the phone, used its Bluetooth technology to upload the photo to the official PFT laptop, and here it is:

Trust us on this -- the image comes from a play that looked just as fast as a full-speed, in-game rep.  And it's grainy not because of the quality of the camera, but because it took a few tries to get a clear image when hitting the pause button (primary because the play occurred at full speed).

At a minimum, the NFLPA should be ringing up the Chiefs' front office and requesting a copy of all videos generated during the minicamp, including the tape containing the image that appears above.

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TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

The Jets have signed CB Ray Mickens, and have cut QB Kliff Kingsbury.

The front office is keeping quiet, but some Steelers are talking about WR Santonio Holmes' arrest.

The Bills have signed DB LaShaun Ward.

The Carson Palmer Cornhole Classic begins on June 17 -- the Chris Henry Cornhole Classic won't begin until August 21, at the earliest.

Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn is already interviewing agents.  (Don't jinx yourself, Brady -- you've got roughly a dozen more games to get through without tearing every ligament in both knees.)

TicketsNow has become the Ravens' official on-line scalping site.

Predictably, Ricky Williams is mellow in response to criticism from Joe Thiesmann.

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POSTED 3:45 p.m. EDT, May 30, 2006

VIKES HIRE SPIELMAN

The Minnesota Vikings have hired former Dolphins G.M. Rick Spielman as the team's new vice president of player personnel.

On the surface, the move isn't surprising.  Spielman had been mentioned as a possible candidate to replace former V.P. of player personnel Fran Foley, who was abruptly fired in early May, due in part to the fact that he treated his resume like an exercise in creative writing.

What's surprising to us is that the Vikes somehow managed to fill the position quietly and discreetly, after a tumultuous year in which there has been nothing quiet nor discreet about the organization.

Heck, no one even knew that the Vikings were interviewing.  There were rumors of other potential candidates after Foley got flushed, but it eventually appeared that the Vikes would stand pat with coach Brad Childress and cap guy Rob Brzezinski running the show.

At this point, it's not known whether there were other interviews, or other candidates.  Jaguars director of pro personnel Charles Bailey was a finalist for the job when Foley was hired, but Bailey was at least No. 2 again (if not lower) when the job was re-filled.

Spielman generally has been an enigma during his stints with the Lions, Bears and Dolphins.  On one hand, he is generally respected and liked in league circles.  On the other hand, his results have been far from stellar.

And although fans and the local media might offer up some criticism of the move, Spielman's stint in Bristol likely will secure for him a certain degree of immunity from the ESPN scribes and talking heads, similar to the kid-gloves treatment that Vinny Cerrato, Tom Donahoe, and other grads of ESPNU have received. 

As long, of course, as they either take or return calls from the guys who get paid to gather the info.

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POSTED 11:20 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:46 p.m. EDT, May 30, 2006

CHIEFS CLEAN UP MINICAMP VIDEO CLIP

Roughly two hours after we posted a story regarding the presence of seemingly "live" contact in video highlights of a recent Chiefs' minicamp, the highlights have curiously been edited to remove content that arguably violates the CBA rules regarding offseason workouts.

Specifically, the two segments near the end of the clip that looked like full-speed running plays have been replaced with other footage.  Also, a shot of what clearly appeared to be full-speed bump-and-run pass coverage is gone.

Though some might regard the move as an effort by the team to avoid any problems that might arise due to the vague and fuzzy language contained in Article XXXV of the CBA and Appendix L thereto, others might view it as an implicit admission that the footage proves that the Chiefs have gone too far with the intensity of their workouts.

Based on everything we've heard over the past few years, we are convinced that most if not all teams are breaking the rules prohibiting contact during the offseason.  As one league source said on Tuesday morning, "Because the rule is fairly vague, teams will always find a way to push the envelope."

It seems, however, that the NFLPA isn't nearly as aggressive in policing this practice as it should be.  Indeed, the only time that the union acts is when players complain -- or when the violation is so obvious that the union can't ignore it.

But every team videotapes every rep of every practice.  And since mandatory minicamps are fully open to the media, local television stations should have plenty of evidence of the degree of contact, too.

Really, why should players have to risk retaliation from the coaching staff and/or their teammates by complaining about things that easily could be detected if the NFLPA would institute an affirmative effort to review tapes from minicamp practices?  The mere existence of a mandatory, random film review protocol would go a long way toward getting every team to comply.

Otherwise, the rules aimed at protecting the rank-and-file in the offseason are worthless to the very dues-paying rank-and-file that the rules are supposed to be protecting.

Our suggestion, in light of the absence of meaningful enforcement?  Let 'em put the pads on during the offseason.  

It might actually keep the players safer.

---

THEISMANN RIPS RICKY

Former CFL and NFL quarterback and current ESPN Monday Night Football analyst Joe Theismann has ripped Ricky Williams a new bonghole.

Appearing on ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd show, Theismann (who once played for the Toronto Argonauts) said, "I don't ever want to be mentioned in the same breath as Ricky Williams as a football player.  He's a disgrace to the game.  The man doesn't deserve to play football.  He should go on with his life and treat his drug addictions or go do whatever he wants to do.  He's been suspended from the NFL on multiple occasions.  Doesn't anybody have any class anywhere?  For gosh sakes, let the kid go do what he wants to do.  He doesn't want to play football."

There's more.

"Listen, we have rules in the National Football League," Thiesmann said.  "It's real simple.  Don't do drugs and you can play.  It's a privilege to be able to play professional football.  It's not a rite of passage.  He's insulted the Miami Dolphins after they took him back and gave him a chance to play.  Now he insults the intelligence of everybody that thinks that doing drugs is OK.  To me, it's the wrong message to send to kids.  It's the wrong thing to be doing, and the Toronto Argonauts have embarrassed themselves as an organization signing him."

We're surprised to actually be saying this, but we agree with Theismann, whose fire and brimstone routine is a stark contrast to the crotch nuzzling in which he and former Sunday night boothmates routinely engaged.  

The NFL and the CFL have both bent over backward for Williams.  Last year, the NFL gave Ricky a pass on what should have been a one-year suspension, opting instead to put him out for only four games.  Now, the CFL apparently has massaged and/or flat-out ignored its own rules so that Ricky can run roughshod over the Roughriders.

And one crucial fact that has been lost in this entire Williams episode is that he hasn't been suspended from the NFL for a year.  He has been banished from the league.

Banished.  As in, "Make like a tree and get the f--k out of here."

Sure, Williams can apply for reinstatement in a year.  But there's no guarantee that he'll be reinstated.

The Whizzinator, for example, was not reinstated on his first try after a one-year banishment, so he is still banished.

To get back in, Ricky needs to do for the next year that which he was unable to do during his short return to the NFL -- produce on a consistent basis urine specimens that do not contain evidence of the ingestion of banned substances.

Our gut feeling?  Williams will never play in the NFL again.

---

A CALL TO ARMS

In an effort to compel the NFL, its member teams, and the NFLPA to address what appears to be blatant disregard of CBA rules prohibiting contact during offseason workouts, we encourage all readers to look for and to send to us any photos, video clips, or other evidence that shows NFL teams engaged in contact drills during minicamps and OTAs.

As previously explained, Article XXXV, Section 5 of the CBA says that "[c]ontact work (e.g., 'live' blocking, tackling, pass rushing, bump-and-run) is expressly prohibited in all offseason workouts."  Section 5 also incorporates by reference Appendix L to the CBA, which states that there shall be no "live contact," and that "[t]he intensity and tempo of drills should be at a level conducive to learning, with player safety as the highest priority, and not at a level where one player is in a physical contest with another player."

Our first submission comes from our own TacoBill, who found still images from the Chiefs' most recent minicamp at wireimage.com.

We realize that still photos can be misleading, since they don't reveal speed or intensity.  But if the teams are required to conduct drills "with player safety as the highest priority" and to avoid situations "where one player is in a physical contest with another player," the game of "mercy" playing out in the picture on the right surely crosses the line.

And there's surely more evidence of other violations out there.  When you find them, let us know.  

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POSTED 8:42 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:50 a.m. EDT, May 30, 2006

CHIEFS' SITE HAS VIDEO OF OFFSEASON CONTACT

For the second time in two years, video posted on the official site of an NFL team could lead to the imposition of penalties for the violation of rules regarding offseason workouts.

A reader has forwarded to us a link containing highlights from a recent Chiefs' offseason session.  Although much of the two-minute, forty-one second clip is innocuous, we saw and heard several things that, in our view, constitute potential violations of the CBA.

Article XXXV, Section 5 of the CBA states that "[c]ontact work (e.g., 'live' blocking, tackling, pass rushing, bump-and-run) is expressly prohibited in all offseason workouts."  Section 5 also incorporates by reference Appendix L to the CBA, which states that there shall be no "live contact," and that "[t]he intensity and tempo of drills should be at a level conducive to learning, with player safety as the highest priority, and not at a level where one player is in a physical contest with another player."

In fairness to the Chiefs, the language is a bit fuzzy.  The CBA seems to imply, for example, that contact that isn't "live" is okay.  With that said, what's the line between "live" and "non-live" contact?

The highlight package available on the Chiefs' site shows near the end of the reel excerpts from two plays that seem to pass the "I know it when I see it" test for "live" action.  

There are also a couple of instances of what looks to be full-speed bump-and-run coverage, along with this quote from coach Herm Edwards:

"I just wanna make sure what we're teaching them in the classroom, we teach them on the grass, at the tempo that they can learn it, and then we ask them to go fast.  I think if we can do those three repeatedly, we've got a chance to be successful."

Edwards later mentions "going fast," and in context it's obvious that he's referring not to training camp, but to offseason drills.

Since Edwards wants his players to "go fast" and since there's evidence of contact while guys are apparently "going fast," our guess is that the Chiefs have crossed the line -- and that the NFL and the NFLPA should be scrutinizing the video very carefully, and asking the team for all other video generated during the sessions.

In 2005, the Redskins were busted by the league and the players' union after posting on the team's official site video of contact drills between linemen.  

---

RICKY'S ARRIVAL CAUSING CANADIAN COMMOTION

Although the folks in Toronto are banging the drum (and lighting a bong) regarding the arrival of the last guy to help Mike Ditka get a stogie in his pocket without medical assistance, not everyone north of the border is feeling warm and fuzzy about the arrival of Ricky Williams.

Specifically, some of the other CFL teams are wondering how it is that the rules were bent to allow the Argos to land a blue-chip player from the NFL.

"I have no problems competing against him, that's not the issue," Montreal Alouettes G.M. Jim Popp told the Canadian Press.  "I'm still trying to figure out how he and other players have been able to sign contracts when they are under contract to another league.  It's in our standard contract.  That's not supposed to happen."

Popp also said that he has received no response to his multiple requests for clarification of the rules that prohibit CFL teams from signing players who are under contract with their NFL counterparts.  Although Williams has been suspended by the NFL for at least one year, the Miami Dolphins hold his rights for two more seasons.

"It isn't about Ricky Williams the person, I want to make that clear.  All teams in this league don't have a problem with competing against Ricky Williams with the Toronto Argonauts."

And at least one of the player's on Popp's team recognizes that Williams' arrival will help to raise the entire league.  "More people will watch the CFL and that's good for all of us as players," said defensive lineman Ed Philion.

We agree generally with Philion.  The CFL generally, and the Argos specifically, have benefited from the media coverage of the Williams saga, which has come at a time when the stream of NFL offseason news and rumors rivals that of an 85-year-old man with a prostate the size of a cantaloupe.  

But we also see Popp's point.  If the rules are clear, they should be applied pursuant to their clear terms.  If there's an ambiguity, the ambiguity should be clarified.  At a minimum, the G.M. of one of the few remaining teams in the league should be entitled at least to an explanation.  The fact that his inquiries have been ignored suggests strongly that the league knows full well that it's playing this one fast and loose.

Gee, is it any wonder that real football fans view the entire CFL as a slapd-ck operation?

---

TUESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

We don't need to analyze Ricky's urine to know that he had to be high when he made this statement regarding the CFL:  "The talent here is comparable to the talent in the NFL."

Ricky Williams says that, after he retired from the NFL in 2004, he got a prescription for medicinal marijuana in California.

We wonder whether the folks at the Toronto Star appreciate the irony of this headline:  "Williams has Argos buzzing."

"Mistrust" is the key word when it comes to sorting out the various factions who have a stake in the NFL's potential return to the L.A. Coliseum.

Browns G.M. Phil Savage might want to check with the legal department before making statements that could come back to haunt the team when that Muslim or Hindu with the impeccable resume who's applying for a job in the front office gets rejected; "We want Christian players who can play football well," Savage recently said.  "We want guys who can play football in a good way.  If they happen to be a Christian, I think it's a positive." 

In a completely unrelated story, Browns' sixth-round draft pick Baba Oshinowo says that, in English, his name means "Good football player who also is Christian."

The Titans want their tight ends to do more blocking in the run game.

In 1988, former Pitt coach Mike Gottfried ripped then-agent Bruce Allen for signing underclassman RB Craig Heyward and "depriving [him] of a free college education"; what Gottfried didn't mention at the time was that Heyward hadn't been to class at all during his final semester.

Cowboys RB Julius Jones can't get out of his head the fact that he came up only seven yards short of 1,000 in 2005.  (And we can't get out of our heads the fact that Jones came up only 1,007 yards short of the total that many NFL observers thought he'd rack up last year.)

Roger Staubach thinks that Eagles backup QB Matt Nordgren is a diamond in the rough.

Here's another good tribute to Ironhead.

Former Chargers K Rolf Benirschke has beaten Hepatitis C.  (The only thing arguably more difficult is spelling Rolf's last name correctly on the first try.)

Chargers LB Shawne Merriman is using boxing to improve his football skills; said the guy with whom Merriman has been working out, "I haven't made him cry, because I don't want to be picked up and slammed to the ground."

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POSTED 9:32 a.m. EDT, May 29, 2006

HOLMES CAUGHT UP IN SOUTH BEACH CRACKDOWN?

Though we're not making excuses for Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes, who might ultimately make the team regret passing on Chad Jackson in round one, it looks like Holmes' recent arrest might have been due in part to some overly zealous police officers in Miami.

According to the Associated Press, two members of the Washington Wizards also were arrested over the weekend in South Beach, as part of what the AP describes as a Memorial Day "crackdown on disorderly behavior."  In all 557, people were arrested from Thursday morning through Saturday night on Miami Beach.

Like Holmes, Awvee Story of the Wizards was in the street, blocking traffic.  When police told him to get out of the street, he failed to do so, and was busted.

Enter Gilbert Arenas, who emerged from a nearby vehicle and walked toward the scene.  Police told him to get back to his car, he failed to do so, and was busted.

Said Arenas in response:  "You can't arrest me.  I'm a basketball player.  I play for the Washington Wizards, and I'm not going to leave my teammate."

Hey, Gil -- you were on South Beach, not the beaches of Normandy.

The point here is that, in an area where folks presumably get liquored up in one or more of the local clubs and then take the party out to the sidewalk (and beyond), police are trying to reverse the trend by encouraging folks not to do things like stand in the street.  Earlier this offseason, Eagles linebacker Dhani Jones was busted in South Beach for refusing to quit dancing in the street.

And the work "crackdown" implies that part of the problem here is that police previously were too lax. 

Still, guys like Holmes and Story and Arenas need to understand that, when a guy with a badge tells you to do something, it's usually a pretty good idea to comply.

---

WILLIAMS GOT NO SIGNING BONUS (NO SH-T)

News flash -- Len Pasquarelli of ESPN.com reports that defensive end Mario Williams, the No. 1 overall pick in last month's draft, got no signing bonus.

Thanks, Len.  We didn't know that.  You've really contributed to the public discourse regarding all things NFL with that one.

Len also breaks down the contract, "confirming" the numbers that we reported on May 1.

But the usually verbose Len P. doesn't even try to get into the specifics as to why Williams didn't get a signing bonus, referring only generally to "collective bargaining agreement restrictions."

The primary reason, as we've previously explained, for the no-bonus maneuver is the rule that limits rookie deals from increasing in any subsequent year by more than 25 percent of the first-year value of the deal, excluding the signing bonus.   

Other contributing factors are quirks in the new CBA setting the maximum length of rookie deals at six, not seven, years; a five-year max on allocating the amount of the signing bonus; a 20 percent increase in the salary cap; and only a five-percent increase in the rookie pool.

Likewise, Len overlooks the reality that Williams' 2006 cap number of $2.9 million eats by $70,000 or so into the rookie pool space that will be available for the Texans' other draft picks.  If that specific dynamic spreads in 2006, some teams might not be able to sign their sixth-round and/or seventh-round draft picks.

How common was the no-bonus routine in 2005?  Although Pasquarelli mentions only that four of last year's top ten picks didn't get signing bonuses, none of the guys taken from No. 11 through No. 21 got a signing bonus, either.  But only one guy from pick No. 22 through No. 32 didn't get a signing bonus.  Of these, the players taken from No. 30 through No. 32 got the most up front, since the teams could get to the total values that the slot called for without minimizing the up-front money.

Finally, Len fails to mention that the trend could subside in 2007.  Come next year, signing bonuses can be spread over six years again.  And the NFLPA likely won't be pushing agents to get a 20 percent increase over the prior season's guaranteed money, since the salary cap most likely won't spike by 20 percent from 2006. 

---

MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

If Eddie DeBartolo gets back into the NFL, his players would surely be happy.  (Yeah, since Edwin Edwards likely wasn't the first guy to get a briefcase full of money from Eddie D.)

Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette pens a very good tribute to Craig Heyward.

Ricky Williams will be wearing No. 27 for the Argos.  (He should have asked the league to change its rules so that he could wear No. 5.)

The Saints are still looking to trade S Dwight Smith -- and the Bucs could be interested in bringing him back to Tampa.

Former Jon Gruden disciple Rich Gannon might be trying to get Chris Simms' neck broken.

With incentives, Ricky Williams could make up to $500,000 in Canada.

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POSTED 1:46 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 3:42 p.m. EDT, May 28, 2006

O CANNABIS:  RICKY HEADING TO ARGOS

Jason Coles of the Miami Herald reports that Dolphins running back Ricky Williams will sign a contract on Sunday with the Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football League.

Williams is serving a one-year suspension from the NFL due to a series of violations of the league's substance abuse policy.  He is eligible for reinstatement in April 2007.  Among other things, he must continue to submit to NFL-implemented drug tests in order to be eligible to return to the NFL.

The Argos and the Dolphins have been discussing the possibility of Williams playing north of the border in 2006.  Initially, the Fins' concern was that Williams might get injured.  Then, the fear was that Williams wouldn't be able to wriggle free from his CFL contract in order to leap back to the NFL.  Most recently, it was suggested that the Dolphins were worried that Williams might like it in Canada -- and choose to stay.

In the end, it was all worked out.

"We got permission," agent Leigh Steinberg told Cole.

Said Dolphins coach Nick Saban in a statement released by the team on Sunday afternoon: 

"We expressed to Ricky our concerns about playing in Toronto in 2006.  We are relying on assurances made by Ricky, his agent, the Toronto Argonauts, and the commissioner of the Canadian Football League that Ricky will return to the Dolphins in 2007.  Based on these assurances and despite our concerns for Ricky playing in the CFL in 2006, we will leave it up to him to decide whether or not he will negotiate a contract to play for the Argonauts this year."

Williams will be paid $240,000 for one year of play.  He is expected to begin practicing on Monday.

---

OFFSEASON CONTACT WORK PROLIFERATING

When NFL coaches are permitted to break a rule with impunity, they'll keep breaking it.

And, as a practical matter, they'll find new rules to violate.

It started several years ago, with coaches embarking on an effort to increase participation in voluntary offseason workouts by implying -- strongly -- that the workouts aren't optional.  No one ever did anything about it, so the practice still continues today.  Sure, some of the coaches periodically will pay lip service to the notion that the players technically aren't required to be there.  But since they're also not technically required to be put into the games come September, most of the players realize that it makes sense to show up.

The other rule that routine is violated is the prohibition against tampering.  Although contact with players who are under contract with another team is strictly prohibited, it happens every year in the days and weeks before the start of free agency. 

Now, it's becoming more and more obvious that teams are violating the rules regarding the specific content of offseason workouts.  We've recently noticed several news items hinting at the fact that these non-contact drills actually involve plenty of hitting, and we've heard for the past few years that some of the players would prefer to simply wear pads in order to reduce the pounding that they take while donning helmets and underwear on the practice field.

And thanks to a reader with a keen eye, we've now become aware of the closest thing to an outright admission that contact is a routine aspect of offseason drills.

Per the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Dolphins linebacker Zach Thomas offered up the following gem in response to a question regarding the condition of his shoulder:  "It's always going to be an emphasis.  Right now, only over the head is a problem.  But you don't really play over the head playing football or even tackling.  I feel really good.  They're holding me out of contact drills right now, but it's not even September.  We've got a lot of time.  I'm going to take my time with it and be smart.  But I feel great."

The phrase "[t]hey're holding me out of contact drills right now" implies that contact drill are occurring.  Right now.  In May.

And just so we're clear, contact drills are forbidden in the offseason.  Indeed, all contact is prohibited in the offseason, with intensity and tempo to be only at a level conducive to learning.

In the past, the NFLPA has taken action where there have been player complaints (e.g., the Lions in 2006) or where the evidence of prohibited activity was obvious (e.g., video that appeared on the Redskins' web site in 2005).  It'll be interesting to see whether the NFLPA initiates any investigations based on an increasing string of media statements that indicate a more widespread violation of the rules.

If the NFLPA doesn't act, the violations will only continue.

And, eventually, the coaches will find more and more rules to break.

---

POSTED 11:22 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:31 p.m. EDT, May 28, 2006

McKAY COVETS COMMISH GIG

Although Falcons President and G.M. Rich McKay previously has said that he's not interested in becoming the next Commissioner of the NFL, we continue to hear that McKay secretly covets the job.

Most recently, McKay declined to comment on the NFL's search for a new poobah.

So why is he keeping his interest quiet?  He realizes it'll be far less embarrassing if he doesn't get it, if his official position is that he didn't want it anyway.

Meanwhile, McKay's boss plans to split McKay's gig into two jobs, if McKay ends up running the sport. 

"Rich would be a very difficult man to replace," owner Arthur Blank said. "He could not be replaced with a single person."  (Possible translation:  "I need to say something good about McKay.  Besides, I probably should have split his position into two jobs in the first place.  If he leaves, I can do it.") 

Blank also says that the list of potential candidates will grow to 40 to 60 before cuts are made.  With the NFL hoping to make a hire by the middle of August, and with each of the candidates likely juggling a calendar that already is full of commitments for the next couple of months, there's no way that the powers-that-be can sift through all of the information, conduct interviews, and come to a consensus as to the new choice -- especially during the summer.

And from the league's perspective there's really no hurry.  Current Commissioner Paul Tagliabue isn't going to leave before a replacement is hired, and every day that he stays on the job is one less day that the owners will have to deal with the inherent concerns of breaking in the new guy or gal.

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HOLMES MERELY "PLAXICO-PLUS"?

In response to the news that Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes, the 25th overall pick in the 2006 draft, has been arrested for disorderly conduct, at least one league source isn't surprised.

"Santonio was one of the talented assholes in the draft," opined the source.  "This arrest is not a revelation, nor is it out of character."

Added the source:  "This guy is Plaxico, plus."

The reference, of course, is to receiver Plaxico Burress, another former Big Ten wideout taken by the Steelers in round one of the draft.  Burress was erratic during his years in Pittsburgh, and the team opted not to re-sign him after his rookie contract expired.

Meanwhile, the current charges against Plaxico-Plus don't seem to be extremely severe (unless, of course, the Pittsburgh media is spinning the thing in a way that makes P-P look less like caa-caa).

Per the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Holmes was walking in the street in the South Beach area of Miami.  A police officer told Holmes "get out of the street," and Holmes allegedly "said several offensive words" to the cop.  (Does "have another donut" count as offensive?)

Per the Pittsburgh Tribune Review, Holmes contends that the police officer yelled at Holmes, and that he was arrested after merely asking the officer why he had yelled.

"I wasn't trying to cause a problem," Holmes said.  "I'm upset about this."

Holmes' bigger problem might be with his mother, who was under the impression that Holmes was attending classes in Columbus, Ohio.  "That's news to me," said Patricia Brown.  "I talked to him yesterday.  He's in Ohio."

---

ANOTHER LEN SLURP JOB

League insiders scouring the Len Pastabelli Tip Sheet have pointed out to us yet another perceived effort by Lenny to throw a bone to agent Jimmy Sexton by pimping unsigned defensive tackle James Reed.

Writes Len:

"Five-year veteran James Reed started all 16 games at defensive tackle for the New York Jets in 2005.  His 58 tackles were four more stops than teammate Dewayne Robertson, the fourth overall choice in the 2003 draft, registered for the season.  As a five-year veteran, Reed's minimum salary is a palatable $585,000.  Yet agent Jimmy Sexton barely can get personnel directors to acknowledge his client.  At the same time, in the two days following last month's draft, teams signed nearly two dozen college free agent tackles to minimum deals with salaries of $275,000.

"It's hard to believe that, with the salary cap set so high this year, the $310,000 savings between signing a rookie free agent and adding a veteran such as Reed would be very significant.  One would think that teams seeking help at defensive tackle, historically a difficult position to fill, would prefer a known commodity such as Reed to a callow free-agent rookie with little viable chance of making the roster.  But that's the reality for some veterans right now."

Len, here's why Sexton's boy isn't signed -- Reed is a "known commodity," and he's known to be a lazy and a locker room turd (in the opinion of two personnel execs with whom we spoke).

Really, why else wouldn't one of Sexton's coaching clients sign Reed?  For example, Dolphins coach Nick Saban drafted in round seven defensive tackle Rodruque Wright, who has a bum shoulder.  More recently, Fins defensive tackle Keith Traylor got into some trouble with the law, but Saban has yet to bring in Reed as a potential eventual replacement for Traylor.

---

SUNDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Another guy named Jones will be taking the reins of an NFL franchise; this one is a funny man.

Former NFL RB Craig "Ironhead" Heyward is dead at 39, due to a recurring brain tumor (we'll best remember Ironhead for his TV commercials that made it acceptable for men to use body wash applied with one of those falafel things).

Former Cowboys running backs coach Joe Brodsky is dead at 71, due to prostate cancer.

Jim Trotter of the San Diego Union-Tribune sticks it to agent Joel Segal and marketing rep Mike Ornstein for screwing up the Reggie Bush situation.

So how did Broncos QB Jake Plummer get into a road rage thing recently?  "I was in a hurry," Plummer said.  "I was on the move to a function for my foundation to donate a large check to 'The Family Tree.'"

The only thing lamer than Plummer's excuse is that he was driving at a the time a Honda Element.  (Look for Jake to soon get dozens of marriage proposals . . . from dudes.)

It remains to be seen whether Bears RB Thomas Jones and/or LB Lance Briggs show up for the team's upcoming mandatory minicamp.

Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer is giving Bengals coach Marvin Lewis a pass for drafting ultraturd WR Chris Henry in 2005.  (Unfortunately for Lewis, not many other people are.)

The Browns are willing to go with Ken Dorsey as the primary backup to QB Charlie Frye.  (And that should work out well . . . as long as Frye doesn't, say, get hurt.)

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POSTED 6:32 p.m. EDT, May 27, 2006

HOLMES BUSTED IN MIAMI

Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes, the team's first-round pick in the 2006 draft, was arrested Friday night for disorderly conduct in a Miami hotel.

Holmes was released after agreeing to return for an arraignment at a later date.

No details as to the arrest are available.  Yet.

For the Steelers, who pride themselves on avoiding turds, the arrest surely is a cause for concern.  Our guess?  Holmes is in for a long summer once he's able to rejoin the team after finals wrap up next month at Ohio State.

The Steelers traded up with the Giants to get the former Buckeye at the bottom of round one.  He was the first receiver taken in the draft.

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POSTED 3:31 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:57 p.m. EDT, May 27, 2006

NFL GOING GLOBAL IN 2008?

The National Football League could play two games on foreign soil in 2008, according to the Associated Press.

The proposal to play in somewhere other than the U.S. of A. was presented to owners at recent meetings in Denver.

Potential sites are Mexico, Canada, Germany, and the United Kingdom.  In 2005, the 49ers and the Cardinals played a regular-season game in Mexico City, in front of 103,000 fans.

But for Commissioner Paul Tagliabue's impending retirement, the NFL likely would have played a regular-season game at Wembley Stadium in 2006.  The issue was tabled, however, once Tags announced that he was packing it in.  Uncertainty regarding the status of ongoing renovations at Wembley also might have been a factor in the decision to wait.

The challenge, as we've written in the past, will be to persuade teams to give up home games.  It was one thing for the Cardinals to trade in an appearance in front of 35,000 or so paying customers in Arizona for the windfall resulting from a game in Mexico.  But the NFL can't continue to export crappy teams; at some point, the franchises that pack in the seats (and the suites) will have to forego 1/8th of their annual revenue streams in favor of whatever money can be generated by playing elsewhere.

So selling this thing to at least 24 of the owners will be a dicey proposition, even if only two out of 32 teams are expected each year to take one in the nuts all in the name of the greater good.

And how great is the greater good?  Who knows.  It's one thing for 103,000 to show up for what could have been a once-in-a-lifetime game in Mexico City.  If the NFL is coming to town every other year or so, it might not be such a big deal.

The real goal here, as we see it, is to pump up the TV money from broadcasting rights in other countries -- and to sell more officially licensed NFL stuff.  With constant pressure to increase profitability, there's only so much toothpaste that can be squeezed out of the red, white, and blue tube. 

And with billions of potential fans who live somewhere other than the nation that gave birth to the sport,  one of the primary objectives of the next Commish will be to get as many people from around the globe as possible to give up their hard-earned Euros, pesos, and/or Rands.

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SATURDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Agent Leigh Steinberg is confident that the Fins will allow RB Ricky Williams to play for the Toronto Argonauts.

The Frankfurt Galaxy are the champeens of NFL Europe.

More than two years after S Pat Tillman died in Afghanistan, and there are still no answers as to what really happened.

ESPN is doing a feature on the Whizzinator.

The 49ers' season ticket renewal rate is better than 90 percent.

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POSTED 10:01 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:41 a.m. EDT, May 27, 2006

RODGERS' ARREST HURTS McKENZIE?

Packers' fourth-round draft pick Cory Rodgers was arrested Friday on gun charges, after police in Fort Worth, Texas broke up a brawl involving gang members and former TCU football players. 

Rodgers is charged with unlawful possession of a weapon and discharge of a firearm, which means in lay terms that he shot a freaking gun during the brouhaha.

Roughly 50 to 60 people were involved in the brawl, using pool cues and beer bottles as weapons.

As one league source remarked in response, "[I] can't imagine it helps Reggie McKenzie" that the team's fourth-rounder was arrested on these charges so soon after the draft.  McKenzie is Green Bay's pro personnel director, and he currently is a candidate to replace Charley Casserly as the G.M. of the Houston Texans.  Although McKenzie technically has no direct responsibility over the draft, his recent comments regarding No. 1 over all pick Mario Williams demonstrate that he had a role in the team's selection process.

Then again, when it comes to a tendency to acquire turds, Broncos assistant G.M. Rick Smith -- also a candidate for the Texans gig -- doesn't exactly have clean hands, either.

Said the source:  "I wonder if McNair has taken into account the number of scumbags that Denver has signed over the years that Rick smith has been at Denver?  Not saying that he is responsible, however, he is a part of the process." 

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McKINNIE PLEADS OUT, TOO

The cheese stood alone.  But not for very long.

Within hours after Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct charges arising from the Love Boat fiasco, the last remaining defendant -- Vikings offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie -- pleaded guilty as well.

Both men got the same deal:  $1,000 fine, 48 hours of community service, and 30-day jail sentences that were stayed for a year.

Both men also pleaded guilty to "being a public nuisance on a watercraft," but these specific charges will be expunged from their records if they stay on the right side of the law for a year.  (And that'll come in handy if either of them ever apply for a job on a watercraft.)

In a statement released on Friday afternoon, Vikings owner Zygi Wilf said:  "With today's resolution of the case, the matter will now be reviewed by the National Football League for potential fines of both players under the NFL's Personal Conduct Policy.  This policy is in place to address off-field conduct matters with league-wide consistency on behalf of the NFL clubs.  Both the Minnesota Vikings and the NFL will continue to hold our players, coaches and staff to a high standard both on and off the field.  Our organization has taken numerous steps to strengthen our franchise and will continue to do so as we look forward to the 2006 season and beyond."

As we explained on Friday afternoon after Smoot pleaded guilty, the Personal Conduct Policy also could result in a suspension without pay or banishment from the league.  But NFL spokesman Greg Aiello says that the duo won't be suspended.

Smoot was charged with using sex toys on strippers during a party cruise on Lake Minnetonka.  McKinnie was charged with performing oral sex on one of the strippers.

And thanks to the reader who reminded us that Smoot had vehemently denied any involvement in the sex romp in the days after word broke of the sordid story. 

At the time, Smoot threatened to sue anyone who "put my name in there."

"They're killing my name," Smoot said.  "Point blank.  Somebody's going to have to pay for it."

In the end, that "somebody" was Smoot, who'll cough up at least $1,000 and possibly a lot more before this is finally put to rest. 

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GIANTS CUT PETERSON

The "Wills" are gone.

More than two months after 2001 first-round cornerback Will Allen left New York via free agency, the Giants cut 2001 third-round cornerback William Peterson, reportedly after he failed a physical due to a lingering back problem.

Peterson originally was known also as "Will" as well, but he later changed his official playing moniker to "William" -- presumably to avoid confusion between himself and Allen.

"This is a very disappointing development for our ballclub," G.M. Ernie Accorsi said.  "Will Peterson was a rising star cornerback and just ran into very tough luck last year with the back injury."

Though Allen was permitted to play out his rookie contract, Peterson received a five-year contract extension in 2004, which carried a $5 million bonus and was worth up to $28.5 million with incentives.  According to NFLPA records, his base salary would have spiked from $900,000 in 2005  to $2 million in 2006.  Peterson was scheduled to make $2.9 million in 2007, $3.4 million in 2008, and $3.768 million in 2009.

By cutting Peterson before June 1, the Giants apparently have opted to take the full cap acceleration resulting from the remainder of Peterson's signing bonus in 2006.  It's possible, however, that the Giants have utilized a tweak in the new CBA that allows teams to cut one guy before June 1, but to then treat the move as a post-June 1 transaction, allowing the cap hit to apply over two seasons.

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RAG DOLL RETURNS

As the saying goes, you can't keep a good man down.  Or former NFL quarterback Rob "Rag Doll" Johnson.

Johnson, an overrated signal-caller best known for holding onto the ball longer than a guy walking through a room full of three-year-olds with those damn plastic hammers, has signed with the Giants after spending a year out of the NFL.

Johnson's return comes days after Doug Flutie announced his NFL retirement.  In one of the most bitter quarterback controversies in the free agency era, Johnson bounced Flutie out of Buffalo after the 2000 season, two years after Johnson signed a five-year, $25 million deal with the Bills. 

After the 2001 season, Johnson was a former Bill, too.

Since then, Johnson won a Super Bowl ring during a one-year sting with the Bucs, signed with the Redskins in March 2003, was cut by the 'Skins in October 2003, joined the Raiders, and remained with the team through the 2004 season.  He has been recovering from reconstructive elbow surgery.

Johnson was one of Giants coach Tom Coughlin's original draft picks with the Jacksonville Jaguars in 1995.  The former USC quarterback was selected in round four as the 99th overall choice.

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