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POSTED 11:30 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

UPSHAW GETTING ACQUAINTED WITH NEW COMMISH?

We've caught wind of a recent meeting so clandestine that, if we were to even generally describe our source on this one, laser beams would emerge from the official PFT laptop and blast our genitals into a pile of smoldering hummus (with a hint of dill).

Rumor has it that, on Wednesday, NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw played a one-on-one round of golf at the Pine Valley Golf Club in New Jersey with NFL executive V.P. and chief operating officer Roger Goodell.

Though we've got no information as to the purpose of the session, nor confirmation that it even occurred, reasonable minds could readily conclude that the two men were getting better acquainted in the event that Goodell ultimately is named the successor to NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

Unless Upshaw also plans to hit the links with the other presumptive finalists for the job, the meeting could spark speculation that Goodell's ascension to the top job in the sport is a fait accompli, with only the "i"'s to dot and "t"'s to cross before the owners cast their votes in early August.

And even though Tagliabue has said that he's making no recommendations, the guy wants out and recent news reports have laid the foundation for an "insider" (i.e., Goodell) to get the job.  If Tags was able to finesse 30 of 32 owners into agreeing on expanded revenue sharing, which one of the most contentious issues in league history, he surely knows how to press the buttons in order to line up only 22 "ayes" in favor of Goodell, the man who has been groomed for the job.  (Not to be confused with Rich McKay, the guy who only thinks he's been groomed for it.)

Stay tuned.

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WELBOURN RETIRES FROM CHIEFS

Though it would be very easy for us to claim that the possible surprise retirement to which we were referring earlier on Thursday was Chiefs tackle John Welbourn, who only hours after our story was posted walked away from the sport at the age of 30, we weren't referring to him.

Regardless, the veteran offensive lineman is packing it in, effective immediately.  "I decided to retire on my own terms rather than somebody else's," Welbourn told the AP.

Given that Welbourn was suspended for four games in 2005 for violating the league's steroid policy, the "somebody else's" terms to which he refers could be a looming suspension for another violation.

The league's steroid policy requires a suspension of at least four games for a first offense, a suspension of at least six games for a second offense, and a suspension of at least one year for a third offense.

Of course, we're not reporting that Welbourn has committed a second or a third violation of the policy (primarily because we've allowed our liability insurance to lapse).  But any time a player with a history of violating either the substance abuse policy or the steroid policy abruptly walks away from the game, there will be speculation that the guy walked before he got run.

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POSTED 6:50 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BEN SAYS HE'LL WEAR HELMET, BUT DOESN'T SAY HE WON'T RIDE

In a statement sent by the Steelers to multiple media types (but not, sniff, us) at 5:18 p.m. EDT on Thursday, quarterback Ben Roethlisberger says that, if he ever rides a motorcycle again, it will be with a helmet on his head.

Frankly, we would have preferred a more unequivocal declaration regarding the question of whether he'll be getting on anything in the future that has only two wheels -- especially since Big Ben claims that he has gained a "new perspective on life."

Roethlisberger also appears to concede that he didn't have a license to operate a motorcycle and/or that he didn't qualify to not wear a helmet by saying that he "never meant any harm to others nor to break any laws."

He likewise acknowledges the reality that he was guilty of the "bad stuff only happens to someone else" mindset:  "I was confident in my ability to ride a motorcycle and simply believed such an accident would not happen to me."

Finally, we think that the statement was deliberately vague regarding his timetable for a return to action.  Roethlisberger says that he is "committed to a complete and timely recovery," and that he looks forward "to being at training camp" (not "participating in" it) and "to winning football games this season" (but not specifically games in early September).

Again, we're not saying that he won't be ready for the start of the season.  We believe instead that it's far too early to conclude that he will be, and we think that whoever wrote this statement for him was trying to express optimism without taking a specific position as to when Ben will be ready to go. 

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POSTED 4:17 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 5:17 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

SURPRISE RETIREMENT COMING?

We've caught wind of strong rumors that a veteran NFL player is considering walking away from the game of pro football, despite prior indications that he will play in 2006.

It's not Lord Favre, but that's all we're saying for now.  

(And no, readers, it's not Marshall Faulk.  That really wouldn't be a surprise, would it?  Sheesh -- we might not proofread our content, but we're at least generally familiar with it.)

More to come.  Maybe.

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NO BRAINER -- MSNBC SHOULD KEEP KEITH

We pause from our ongoing coverage of all things NFL to ponder the dilemma that has been dropped onto the toupee comb of new MSNBC chief Dan Abrams in his first week behind the camera.

Keith Olbermann hosts Countdown, a show that we watch religiously -- and that we regard as one of the most underrated shows in television history.  Recently, the press has gotten its hands on some e-mails that Olbermann has sent, which isn't surprising because the e-mails weren't sent privately to family, friends, or co-workers but to, you know, viewers.

On the surface, it wasn't wise (to say the least) for Olbermann to tell viewers to (for instance) "go f--k your mother."  The core of the problem, as we see it, is that we humans often regard e-mail as the equivalent of being behind the wheel of a car -- the rest of the world can see us, but we somehow think that those panes of clear glass on each of our four sides have rendered us suddenly invisible.

Have we sent out our fair share of profanity-laced e-mails to readers who direct to us insulting messages?  Heck yes.  Would we do so if we were hosting a nightly show on MSNBC or any other cable news network?  Probably not.

But, hey, Keith would.  And has.  So what?  Jesus might have advised us generally to turn the other cheek, but He never got an e-mail from a Samaritan telling Him to "walk on this."  (We wanted to come up with something funnier than that, but the whole "burning in Hell for all eternity" thing that was beaten into our brains during twelve years of Catholic school wouldn't allow us to take it any farther.) 

Bottom line -- Abrams will be making a huge mistake if he determines that Keith's penalty for responding in kind to attack e-mails is to yank Olbermann off of the air for a even a nanosecond.  Instead, let him apologize on the air for his actions and then let's move on.  If, as Abrams claims, he wants to cultivate the irreverence that emanates from shows like Olbermann's, Abrams needs to realize that folks with the gift (or, as it may be, curse) of smartassedness don't always respond with a smile and a "Thanks for your message!" when someone takes a e-swing at them.

Of course, there's also the minor problem of reconciling Olbermann and fellow MSNBC talking head Rita Cosby, to whom Olbermann referred in one e-mail message as "dumber than a suitcase of rocks."

For the record, we've yet to make an assessment as to Cosby's intelligence because, well, we . . . can't . . . get . . . past . . . the . . . voice.  She possesses, without question, the most annoying manner of speaking that we ever have heard.  Anywhere.  She shouldn't be working in radio or television.  Really, she shouldn't be in any job that requires verbal communication, including sentences as simple as "May I take your order?"  

If she wants to be a journalist, fine.  She should be working for a newspaper or a magazine.  And interviewing her subjects via sign language.

So if, in the end, Cosby makes an "it's him or me" power play, the answer is easy.  MSNBC would be improving its product more than tenfold by keeping Keith and telling Rita to take her expertly concealed moose caboose somewhere else.

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POSTED 9:32 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 12:24 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BIG BEN GOES HOME

WTAE-TV reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been released from Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh, less than 72 hours after a motorcycle accident that resulted in seven hours of facial surgery.

Roethlisberger, per the report, was "whisked" out a side entrance late Wednesday night, with his sister, a doctor, and a Steelers representative surrounding him.

The move makes sense, since it's certain that photographers would have been staking out the facility all day for a chance to get a shot of Big Ben's bruised and swollen face and head.

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THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Oilers/Titans LT Brad Hopkins officially has retired after 13 NFL seasons.

The Dolphins have signed G Bennie Anderson.

Attention aspiring, industrious college kids looking for a way to add a line to your resumes without having to put much effort into the process:  We're looking for a copy editor who will proofread all of our postings and spot any typos.  Let us know if you're interested, and we'll send you a sample story with some embedded typos (i.e., basically any one of the stories that we post on the live site) so that you can show us what you can due.

Jags RB Maurice Drew will face a preliminary hearing next week on felony assault charges resulting from an April 23 incident at an L.A.-area Denny's.

Good news for Titans DT Albert Haynesworth -- charges of reckless endangerment in Putnam County, Tennessee were dismissed.  Bad news for Titans DT Albert Haynesworth -- they were dismissed only because they'd been filed in the wrong county.

Giants TE Jeremy Shockey says he doesn't ride motorcycles -- he rides horses.  (But enough about his love life . . . .) 

Giants WR Plaxico Burress joined his team for the first time since skipping out of the final team meeting of the season; the Soup Nazi says he spoke with Plax, but declined to go into details.

Texans coach Gary Kubiak says that QB David Carr is the most improved player on the team (which could mean that he has elevated from "really sucks" to just plain "sucks").

As it turns out, Jags OT Mike Williams remembered to pack his big fat ass when he moved from Buffalo to Jacksonville.

Colts QB Jim Sorgi hasn't thrown in more than a month due to a sore arm.

Two fights broke out during non-contact (wink, nod, fart) sessions at Ravens camp on Wednesday.

RB Reuben Droughns is still No. 1 on the Browns' depth chart.

The Vikings don't intend to ban motorcycle riding.  (In fact, the coaching staff actually has encouraged CB Fred Smoot to ride one.  Without a helmet.  And blindfolded.)

Eagles LB Dhani Jones could be losing his grip on a starting job.

Crazy Joe Davola is knocking the rust off (but no matter how well he performs he still won't be invited to Kramer's party).

Bears CB Nathan Vasher, who made the Pro Bowl in only his second season, has been skipping the team's OTAs because he wants more money.

The Niners have signed three of their low-end draft picks.

No shows for the Ravens' voluntary drills included S Ed Reed, DE Trevor Pryce, LT Jonathan Ogden, LB Adalius Thomas, and DE Terrell Suggs.  (Yeah, the addition of Steve McNair has really electrified the team.) 

Pats WR Chad Jackson is getting an eye-opening from Pats QB Tom Brady, whose nice-guy demeanor off of the field gives way during practice and games to a guy who curses more than Richard Pryor after getting a pitchfork in the pecker.

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POSTED 9:16 a.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BUCS WERE SNIFFING AROUND McNAIR

A league source tells us that, in the days preceding the trade of quarterback Steve McNair from the Tennessee Titans to the Baltimore Ravens, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were in the process of entering the fray for the 2003 NFL co-MVP.

Though it's not known whether the Bucs actually made any trade offers for McNair -- or whether Tampa's interest helped to kick-start stalled talks between the Ravens and Titans -- the 2005 NFC South champion was interested in the possibility of adding McNair to the roster.

On June 7, the Titans sent McNair to Baltimore for a fourth-round pick in the 2007 draft.

The Bucs' interest in McNair could raise question regarding the team's long-term plans for current starter Chris Simms.  Earlier this year, Simms signed a one-year restricted free agent tender, and he is eligible for unrestricted free agency in 2007.  If McNair had landed in Tampa, and if McNair had ended up winning the starting job, the chances of Simms moving on after 2006 would have increased significantly.

Even now, it remains to be seen whether the Bucs try to work out a long-term deal with the son of Super Bowl XXI MVP Phil Simms, whether the younger Simms ends up testing the market, or whether the Bucs slap the franchise or transition tag on him.

The other quarterbacks currently on the roster are Tim Rattay, Luke McCown, and Bruce Gradkowski.  If Simms leaves after 2006, guys who might (key word:  might) be available come 2007 include J.P. Losman, Chad Pennington, Joey Harrington, Kyle Boller, Kerry Collins, Jim Sorgi, David Garrard, Matt Schaub, Trent Green, Jake Plummer, Kurt Warner, Drew Brees, Mark Brunell, Kordell Stewart, Cade McNown, and Akili Smith.  (We threw the last three in just to see if you're paying attention.)   

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SIX TEAMS IN HUNT FOR LELIE

As the Ashley Lelie saga continues to drag on in Denver, we're told that a total of six teams have real interest in the former first-round wideout, and that most if not all of the reports and rumors of potential trade mechanics are off of the mark.

One team that isn't interested in Lelie, but has been rumored to be, is the Patriots.

Lelie has been staying away from the Broncos' offseason program, and he was made expendable by the acquisition of Javon Walker.  Most reports indicate that the Broncos would like to get a tight end in exchange for Lelie, but we've heard that the team's bigger objective is to add another running back to a roster that currently has Tatum Bell and Ron Dayne at the top of the depth chart.

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TROJANS TRYING TO HOSE THE NFL?

Check out our sister site, Collegefootballtalk.com, for an interesting story regarding the efforts of the University of Southern California to keep the NFL out of its home stadium, the Los Angeles Coliseum.

It seems that the Trojans are concerned that, once "real" football returns to the L.A. area, the sweetheart deal that the school has enjoyed on a venue that otherwise would be hosting ant, roach, and mice conventions could go bye-bye.

Also, kudos to Joe Collegio of CFT for updating the site an impressive (drum roll, please) two days in a row.

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BE A FREAK

Since we assume that many of you who spend your time trolling this and other Internet sites don't get much exercise (or natural light), allow us to recommend Adam Archuleta's "Freak of Training" workout video, which will give you all of the information and motivation that you need in order to transform yourself from a keyboard camel to a tempest of testosterone.

Of course, we don't want you to quit spending countless hours in front of the iridescent glow of that 17-inch flat screen that came with your latest computer purchase -- but there's nothing wrong with taking a little time each day to employ some of the training techniques that help Archuleta stay in the kind of shape that prompted the Redskins to pay him $10 million in bonus money. 

Since Archuleta has bought ad space on the site for the last three months and since we get e-mails from many of you who say that you want to support the site in any way that you can, one way to put your money where our wallet is is to buy the Archuleta workout tape.  With Father's Day just around the corner, it's a great way to let dad know that you want to help him reduce his ass down to the size of a baby elephant.

And stay tuned for more NFL player self-help videos, including Ben Roethlisberger's two-part series on motorcycle safety (it's a blank VHS tape) and how to suck the big-ass potato pieces in Chunky Soup through one of those bendy straws. 

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POSTED 10:56 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

EAGLES FANS CRY FOUL REGARDING TICKET SALES

We've received numerous e-mails from readers who think that something stinks regarding the manner in which the Philadelphia Eagles distributed single-game tickets on Wednesday, June 14.

The tickets went on sale at 10:00 a.m. on June 14, and per several readers they were sold out within minutes.

But plenty of tickets are available through RazorGator.com, a ticket brokerage that offers seats at a sizeable markup.  Curiously, the Eagles and RazorGator.com have entered into some sort of a partnership, as evidenced by a web page that combines the names and trademarks of both entities.

Although the Eagles tickets available via RazorGator.com supposedly come from "Season Ticket Holders," the mere existence of a business relationship between the Eagles and the ticket brokerage has prompted fans who were unable to get single-game tickets at face value to believe that the seats somehow were funneled to RazorGator -- thereby allowing the team to make even more money on the ultimate transaction.

We're not suggesting that anything inappropriate has actually happened.  But from a P.R. standpoint, the team's arrangement with RazorGator.com coupled with the near-immediate disappearance of the available single-game tickets looks bad, and we think the organization should take a long look at the potential impact of the perception that a back-door windfall is being engineered.

Again, we're not saying it's happening.  But we can understand why reasonable minds would conclude otherwise, based on the available facts.

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POSTED 9:58 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

PLATES IN BEN'S HEAD CONFIRMED

As it turns out, the Findlay, Ohio rumor mill was more accurate than not regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. 

We reported on Wednesday morning that the talk on the street in Ben's hometown was that doctors had placed five metal plates in his head during a seven-hours surgery on Monday.

As it turns out, doctors indeed used small titanium plates to reconfigure Big Ben's face, which sustained multiple fractures when he came out on the losing end of the "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug" routine.

The use of the plates means that Roethlisberger's jaw was not wired shut, and that he likewise won't lose a bunch of weight on a liquid-only diet.  In fact, he's already eating pudding (based on his not-so-girlish figure, something he's likely used to) and yogurt (something he's likely not).

Though Roethlisberger is scheduled to be released from the hospital tomorrow, he has severe bruising and swelling in his face and neck area.  So unless he's whisked away in an ambulance, look for the Pittsburgh paparazzi to try to get a few shots of Big Ben and his even fatter Fathead.

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POSTED 9:35 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

POSTED 2:37 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 3:43 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

NEW WARRANT ISSUED FOR CHRIS HENRY

On Tuesday, we said that we'd continue to focus on the recovery of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident unless Chris Henry or A.J. Nicholson or Sean Taylor or Marcus Vick kill someone within the next 48 hours.

We have a winner.  Sort of.

WCPO-TV reports that a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Bengals receiver Chris Henry, and that he is wanted for three counts of "unlawful transaction with a minor."

Per WKRC-TV, the charges arise from allegations that Henry provided alcohol to three underage females.  The incident occurred at a party at a Covington, Kentucky hotel in April.  

After the "party," one of the girls claimed that Henry had raped her.  No rape charges were filed against Henry, but the girl ultimately was charged with falsely reporting an incident.  She has since been arrested for prostitution.  

Meanwhile, Dan Patrick of ESPN Radio mentioned the arrest on the air at approximately 2:50 p.m. during a segment with ESPN colleague Michael Irvin -- and Irvin in response promised to "reach out" to the troubled wideout.

Praise the Lord!  Reverend Irvin is gonna be savin' some souls!

Irvin also promised to get himself some Emmys in his post-football TV career.  We think he's got a better chance of turning Chris Henry into a choir boy.

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CORRECTION ON BIG BEN CONTRACT

We've been referring over the past couple of days to an item we wrote in May 2005 regarding the contents of Ben Roethlisberger's contract, and we're now prepared to acknowledge that the guy who wrote that item 13-plus months ago is, well, an idiot.

After further review, Roethlisberger's contract does contain language allowing the team to pursue recovery of bonus money, even if his injuries don't force him to "voluntarily retire.   Per the agreement, he also is required to give back a boatload of bonus money if he refuses or fails to report for training camp and/or the regular season.  

Although the contract doesn't specifically refer to motorcycles, a league source will extensive experience negotiating and interpreting such documents tells us that the language regarding failure to report applies to non-football injuries that prevent the player from passing a physical -- even if he has every intention and desire to play.

Regardless, the broader question is whether and to what extent new restrictions on bonus forfeitures from the recently-extended CBA  apply to existing contracts.  As we explained on Tuesday, the NFL currently won't comment on this issue, explaining that it is still a subject of negotiation.  The CBA Term Sheet hammered out by the league and the players union is, in our opinion, ambiguous as to the question of whether limitations on the recovery of bonus money apply to pre-existing contracts.    

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ANOTHER "HOLY CRAP" MOMENT

This weekly spot thing on AOL's Sports Bloggers Live has turned out to be a pretty sweet deal for us.  Yet again, the folks at AOL help to create the impression that we know what we're talking about, via a little high-profile pub on the front page of the mega-site's sports section.

Thanks again to Jamie Mottram and crew for giving us a weekly seat at the table.  We'll continue to try to screw it up.  Eventually, we'll succeed.

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POSTED 11:57 a.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

BUREAUCRATS WON'T SAY WHETHER BEN HAD TAKEN SAFETY COURSE

On Tuesday, we connected the dots (with the aid of yet another reader of this site who is smarter than we . . . or is it us?) regarding the revelation that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger doesn't have a license to operate a motorcycle and his ability to legally do so without a helmet.

As we explained on Tuesday, Pennsylvania law permits a motorcyclist to not wear a helmet only if he or she is over the age of 21 and has had a license to operate a motorcycle for at least two years, or if he or she is over 21 and has completed an approved motorcycle safety course.

It appears that Ben didn't have a license for at least two years.  Now, WTAE-TV reports that the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation won't say whether Roethlisberger has completed a safety course.

Though we're not inclined to tell "real" journalists how to do their jobs (okay, maybe we are), its seems to us that a request pursuant to the Pennsylvania equivalent of the Freedom of Information Act is in order.  State and federal governmental agencies are required by law to disclose, in response to an appropriate inquiry, certain public information.  Although various exceptions apply, we can't imagine that the question of whether someone actually took an approved motorcycle safety course would be shielded.

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POSTED 9:19 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:38 a.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

BEN HAS FIVE PLATES IN HIS HEAD?

At a time when there is scant information available via the traditional media regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, we'll take our Big Ben updates wherever we can find them.

So we've tapped into our sources in Roethlisberger's hometown of Findlay, Ohio, and we've learned that the talk on the street there is that Ben has five plates in his head, but that he also has been cleared to resume working out in two weeks.

The information, per our source, is two steps removed from Roethlisberger's sister, Carlee.

Take it for what it is.  We've all seen how quickly a list of household items like "milk, bread, eggs" transforms into something like "purple, monkey, meatball" after being passed through the ears, brains, and mouths of a short string of normal human beings. 

But two steps removed from his sister?  Maybe there's something to it.

Meanwhile, a reader of the site who also happens to be a neurologist tells us that he's very skeptical of the claim that Roethlisberger has suffered only a "mild concussion" after his head slammed into a glass windshield with enough force to break his jaw in multiple places and knock out at least two of his teefs.

Also, keep in mind the reality that the cumulative effect of concussions can be greater than the sum of the individual brain injuries that a person has endured in his or her lifetime.  The headbanging he sustained on Monday surely puts him at risk for even more serious consequences if/when his brain gets jostled around in its bony briefcase after he returns to the football field.    

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STEELERS WARNED BEN ABOUT BIKING

ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli, who was surprisingly silent as John Clayton carried the ball for the first 36 hours or so after the Ben Roethlisberger motorcycle accident (then again, Monday is $5 pizza day at Little Caesar's), reports that the Steelers warned their starting quarterback in 2005 that continuing to operate a motorcycle could jeopardize portions of his contract.

The problem, as we've previously reported and as Pasquarelli confirms, is that Roethlisberger's contract contains no express prohibition against riding a motorcycle.  (In contrast, the contract signed by Browns tight end Kellen Winslow specifically stated that he could be forced to pay back millions in bonus money if injured while "motorcycling.")  Indeed, our inspection of Roethlisberger's contract when news broke after the Winslow accident that Ben rides a motorcycle sans noggin-protector revealed that the team could recover bonus money from Roethlisberger only if he voluntarily retired.

So even though Paragraph 3 of the standard NFL player contract states that a player may not "engage in any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of personal injury," the problem that teams face is that the clause, standing alone, has no teeth.

That's why clubs began inserting specific language into bonus provisions allowing the recovery of money that already has been paid if the player later engages in actions that prevent him from "earning" his bonus money by playing football in the seasons that the bonus payment is intended to cover.  A signing bonus isn't a lottery prize; it's advance compensation intended to secure a player's services for the specific number of years over which the bonus is prorated.  If the player engages in off-field conduct that prevents him from fulfilling his end of the bargain, the team gets back the advance compensation.

But there has to be language in the deal tying the ability to recover bonus money to conduct that keeps the player from playing.  In this case (and based on our review of Roethlisberger's contract), the Steelers can't get back any bonus money unless he walks away entirely from the game of football.  

And the team likely knew this when the letter was sent; we think that the real purpose of the correspondence was to scare him into wearing a helmet and/or not riding a motorcycle at all.  In fact, we wouldn't be surprised to learn that the team and agent Leigh Steinberg got together on a "wink, nod" basis on this one in order to give Steinberg some extra ammo for getting his thick-headed lummox of a client to park the bike until he's done playing ball.

This doesn't mean that the Steelers are without options if they decide to try to teach Ben a lesson.  Even though his contract doesn't permit the recovery of bonus money absent a voluntary retirement, the team could file a non-injury grievance pursuant to Article IX of the CBA, and the team could attempt to recover standard breach of contract damages from him.

For example, if Ben isn't available for training camp, when most teams carry at least four quarterbacks in order to have enough arms to deliver balls to the pre-cuts flock of receivers, tight ends, and running backs, the Steelers will incur expenses in replacing him, even on a temporary basis (i.e., plane fare, hotel room, per diems, etc.).  Because such expenses arose directly from Roethlisberger's violation of Paragraph 3 of the standard player contract, the team could recover the expenses from him through the non-injury grievance process.

The overriding question, however, is whether chasing Ben for, in the grand scheme of things, pocket change is worth potentially poisoning the relationship, especially at a time when guys drafted within five spots of him (Shawn Andrews of the Eagles) are signing long-term extensions.  

The obvious answer is "no way in hell."

So even though it's interesting to learn that the Steelers "warned" Ben about the potential financial consequences of riding his motorcycle, the reality is that there's nothing that the team will do about it -- especially without a clear provision like the one in Kellen Winslow's contract. 

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SPRINT PHONE TO THE RESCUE

The Florio family's recent trip to the D.C. area included a loooong day of sightseeing, from the National Zoo to the White House to the Washington Monument to the various war memorials to the Lincoln Memorial.

And since Florio Jr. wouldn't release his grip on the official Florio family digital camera, yours truly needed a way to snap a few shots of various places of interest.

Enter the Samsung A900 phone, available only through Sprint.  Here's a quick sampling of the images captured on its built-in camera, which (to the surprisingly mild chagrin of the Secret Service) is also small enough to slide through the iron bars for an unobstructed photo of the White House.  

(I took this one just before a large man wearing a blue blazer and dark sunglasses politely asked me to get my damn hands onto the other side of the fence.)

(Brother Abe had some big feet.)

So get yourself a Samsung A900 phone -- because you never know when one of the kids is going to bogart your actual camera.

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POSTED 11:11 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:58 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

IRVIN'S T.O. INTERVIEW WAS SHAMEFUL

Before Ben Roethlisberger banged his bike into a New Yorker owned by a person from Maine in Pittsburgh on Monday, we were focusing on the SportsCenter Sunday Conversation between ESPN's Michael Irvin and Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens.

It was, in our opinion, a shameful display.  And multiple industry insiders agree with our assessment.

For starters, it was more infomercial than interview, with an uncharacteristically subdued Irvin offering up softballs so predictable that we wouldn't be surprised to learn that Owens' agent, Drew Rosenhaus, helped Irvin draft the questions:

1.  "How do you see your responsibility as a role model?"

2.  "What lessons do you teach the kids beyond football skills?  Life lessons?"

3.  "What regrets do you have from the last couple of years?"

4.  "How do you feel when you hear people say you are not a good teammate?"

5.  "What if any assurances or promises did you have to give the Cowboys organization, Jerry Jones, or Bill Parcells?"

6.  "When did Bill and you first have a conversation?"

7.  "How important is it to have a coach like Bill Parcells, for you?"

8.  "Bill is known to come up with pet names for his star players.  Has he come up with a pet name for you yet?"

That was it, with only two meaningless follow-up questions regarding the content of the initial discussion between Parcells and Owens.

And Owens' responses contain plenty of stuff that would sound okay.  If we were somehow able to completely ignore the events of the past 14 months.

Such as:  "I think I feel like in my heart I've always been a good teammate."

Yeah.  He's been a great teammate.  Just ask Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb.  For starters.

And shame on ESPN for allowing the interview to be conducted, and then aired.  Obviously, Irvin got access to Owens because Irvin was the only guy in the media who consistently defended T.O.'s indefensible conduct in 2005.  It's Irvin's shtick; by always siding with the player whenever there's a controversy involving player and team, Irvin gets the "exclusive" when the player decides to talk, because the player knows that Irvin won't ask any tough questions.

Indeed, there's no way Rosenhaus would have allowed Owens to be interviewed by any other ESPN employee, especially since it was T.O.'s sit down with ESPN contributor Graham Bentsinger that set the stage for Owens' exile from Philly.

It's a sad statement, in our opinion, when a media conglomerate like ESPN employs such obvious tactics merely to secure a "get" than no one else can.

So here's the question ESPN needs to ask itself.  Is it better not to get access at all than to get it under circumstances that will leave the interviewer walking funny the next morning -- especially when the network's legitimate journalists are all smart enough to know exactly what's going on?

If we were calling the shots at ESPN (and every Disney shareholder should be rubbing their mouse ears in celebration of the fact that we aren't), the term "puff piece" would be used only in reference to interviews of Ricky Williams or Onterrio Smith.

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TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Colts LB Cato June has been arrested for failing to appear in court on a charge of driving on a suspended license.

The Bucs have signed WR Ben Nelson and have cut DE Moe Thompson.

Browns G.M. Phil Savage recognizes that pro athletes are more likely to be risk takers; "I wish all our players liked board games or low-risk hobbies," Savage said.  ("Like going to church," he added.)

Ravens QB Steve McNair says learning his new team's offense is "mind boggling."

QB Tommy Maddox has reminded the Steelers that he's still available (but not, of course, by choice).

Pats WR Deion Branch skipped out on the first day of the team's mandatory minicamp.

Bills QB J.P. Losman recently bought a house in Buffalo (which he'll be needing for roughly another seven months).

The Texans are trying to get more tight ends involved in the offense.

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POSTED 4:55 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER UPGRADED TO FAIR CONDITION

At a Tuesday afternoon news conference, doctors said that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been upgraded to fair condition.

The doctors also said that he is awake, alert, oriented, and resting.  He is expected to be released from the hospital in the next three-to-five days.

Per WPXI-TV, the official list of injuries is as follows:  fractures to his upper and lower jaw, a mild concussion, a fractured nose, fractured facial bones, multiple head lacerations, multiple abrasions/contusions, loss of two teeth, several chipped teeth, and no evidence of any major structural damage to either knees.

As we've previously explained, the specific condition of the fractures to the upper jaw and the various facial fractures will be critical for determining the time required for his recovery.  Because the family did not allow the doctors to take questions, there's still no way to determine his timetable for a return to football activities (contrary to a report that he'll miss only the preseason opener). 

Finally, we've received several e-mails from fans of teams other than the Steelers complaining about the extent to which we've been covering the Roethlisberger story.  To them we say this -- there's not really anything else happening right now.  So unless Chris Henry or A.J. Nicholson or Sean Taylor or Marcus Vick kill someone within the next 48 hours, the condition of the starting quarterback of the Super Bowl XL championship team will continue to be a focal point of NFL coverage both here and elsewhere. 

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POSTED 4:38 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

SOURCE SAYS IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL WHEN BEN CAN PLAY

In direct contradiction of a report published on Tuesday afternoon by Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, in which the veteran beat writer says that quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be ready for the regular season opener, a source with knowledge of the situation surrounding the Steelers starting quarterback tells us, "I do not think there is any way anyone but God can determine this early whether Ben can play at any point."

So what does this make of Bouchette's report?  Several readers have expressed skepticism regarding Bouchette's claim, which comes from unnamed sources, that Roethlisberger will be ready to go by September 7, and that he'll miss only one preseason game.

Our guess is that someone within the organization concluded that it would be prudent to attempt to calm down a frenzied fan base at a time when Roethlisberger's condition following a Monday motorcycle mishap is arguably the biggest out-of-season football story that the city of Pittsburgh ever has seen.  For Bouchette to run with the story, the source had to be someone in a sufficient position of authority to prompt him to conclude that:  (a) the information is valid; or (b) even if it isn't, he'd be wise to use it.  

And if the report turns out to be wrong, there's no official accountability for the team, since the team didn't officially claim that Ben would be able to play come September.  The only person who'd look bad is Bouchette -- but his relationship with the source for whom he took the bullet would be strengthened because of it, guaranteeing even more access to inside information down the road.  

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POSTED 3:58 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

Although NFL spokesman Greg Aiello previously told us that the league believes the new limits on bonus recovery do not apply to contracts negotiated prior to the adoption of the changes to the CBA, Aiello now tells us that the league will not comment on the matter because it is "still the subject of negotiation" with the NFL Players Association.

And for good reason.  The Term Sheet to which the NFL and the NFLPA agreed in March is, in our assessment, ambiguous as to the question of whether the limits on bonus recovery apply to pre-existing contracts.

Page 4 of the Term Sheet sets forth the limitations on bonus forfeiture.  Initially, the Term Sheet says that no signing bonus forfeitures are permitted in new contracts, except that the player and the team may agree to a proportionate forfeiture of the signing bonus if the player "voluntarily retires," and the player and the team may agree to a provision under which the player forfeits the greater of 25 percent of the prorated signing bonus for the year in question of 1/17th of the allocation for the year for each game missed if he "willfully takes action that has the effect of substantially undermining his ability to fully participate in either preseason training camp or the regular season."

Also, the Term Sheet says that no forfeitures are permitted (in current or future deals) of signing bonus allocations for years already performed, or for escalators or performance bonuses already earned.  For example, a player who signs a four-year deal with a $4 million signing bonus who retires after year one can't be required to pay back more than $3 million, since he's already "earned" 25 percent of the bonus by performing under the first year of the deal.

The Term Sheet further states that the right to recover and/or retain signing bonus money can't be conditioned on participation in voluntary offseason workouts or for the making of adverse public statements.

Finally, the Term Sheet says that teams cannot individually negotiate provisions relating to bonus forfeiture for violations of the substance abuse and/or steroid policies.

The ambiguity in the Term Sheet arises at the top of page 5, where the following language appears:  "Except as provided above, existing contract forfeiture provisions entered into before the end of the 2005 regular season will be in full force and effect for the duration of the current contract, and any extensions resulting solely from the effectuation of contract provisions (e.g., options).

At first blush, this provision seems to contemplate that the limitations on bonus forfeiture apply only to deals struck after the implementation of the new CBA.  But the introductory clause -- "Except as provided above" -- arguably makes any contracts negotiated prior to the end of the 2005 regular season subject to the same provisions.

So what does all of this mean?  Who knows.  And that's likely why the NFL and the NFLPA are still talking about it.

Our best guess is that pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions still apply, but that:  (1) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from a failure to participate in voluntary offseason programs are void; (2) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from adverse public statements are void; (3) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from violation of the substance abuse or steroid policy are possibly void.  (It's a closer question as to the drug/steroid issue, and we don't want to bore you any more than we already have.  But the issue is extremely important, given the still-pending grievance filed by the Lions against receiver Charles Rogers, who allegedly owes the team multiple millions of dollars after serving a four-game suspension for violation of the substance abuse policy in 2005.)

We also think that signing/option bonus forfeitures based on all other conduct (such as engaging in dangerous activities including motorcycle riding) are fair game for pre-existing contracts, but that the recovery will be limited to the portion of the signing bonus that already has been earned.  We also think that teams cannot recover salary escalators or performance bonuses that already have been earned, even if pre-existing contracts would allow it.

Regardless of what we think, the NFL and the NFLPA will work this out, one way or another.  Given the perception that the union cleaned the league's clock regarding these non-economic terms, we think that the NFL will push hard to secure the broadest possible rights for teams with pre-existing bonus forfeiture clauses.

Moving forward, though, it won't matter.  For all new contracts, teams can recover signing/option bonus money only if the player retires or if the player willfully renders himself unable to participate in training camp or the regular season.  As to the latter provision (which applies most obviously to holdouts and suspensions for conduct detrimental to the team), the team's remedy is limited almost to the point that it really doesn't provide much of a deterrent, especially in comparison to the far more pricey forfeiture provisions that were permitted under the old CBA.

As to Roethlisberger, the issue for now appears to be moot, since the most recent information is that he won't miss much time in 2006.  Moreover, it was always unlikely that the team would try to recovery any of the bonus money, no matter how miffed the coaching staff and/or the front office genuinely might be.      

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POSTED 2:06 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 2:22 p.m. EDT,June 13, 2006

BIG BEN WILL BE READY FOR FINS

According to Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be able to play in the 2006 regular season opener on September 7 against the Miami Dolphins.

Citing unnamed sources, Bouchette reports that the injuries are confined to Roethlisberger's face, and that published reports of potentially serious knee and shoulder injuries were incorrect.

In short, Ben is one lucky bastard.  Dumb as a twice-baked potato, but lucky nevertheless.

Bouchette also reports that the surgery required seven hours due in part to efforts by surgeons to ensure a faster recovery time.  Roethlisberger is expected to miss the preseason opener, but he will be able to participate in training camp.

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TECHNICALLY, LAW REQUIRED BEN TO WEAR HELMET?

In light of the KDKA-TV report that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger did not have a license to operate a motorcycle, it appears that the Pennsylvania law exempting certain motorcyclists from wearing a helmet did not apply to Big Ben.

Which means that, under the law, he should have had a helmet on.

As it's written, the relevant Pennsylvania statute requires riders to wear protective gear, including a helmet.  But the law creates an exception for the following categories of persons:  (1)  a person over the age of 21 who has been licensed to operate a motorcycle for at least two years; or (2) a person over the age of 21 who has completed an approved a motorcycle rider safety course.

If Roethlisberger had not completed an motorcycle rider safety course, he did not qualify for the exemption, since it appears that he has not held a license to operate a motorcycle for the requisite two years.

Thanks to the reader who pointed this out to us -- and thanks to everyone who has been e-mailing to us new information regarding this story.

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POSTED 12:30 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

BIG BEN HAD NO MOTORCYCLE LICENSE

KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has no license to operate a motorcycle.

Per an unnamed source, KDKA reports that Roethlisberger never took the written or the practical exam necessary for the issuance of a license.  Instead, he had a learner's permit that expired on March 29, 2006.

What does it mean?  Nothing at all, regarding his injuries and his recovery therefrom.  But depending on the manner in which Pennsylvania statutes and case law apply to such matters, Big Ben might be shut out when the time comes to collect insurance money from the driver of the car involved in the accident (if, in the end, she is found to be in any way at fault).

In theory, Roethlisberger could make a valid legal claim against the other driver, if as it appears she made a left turn against oncoming traffic without seeing his motorcycle approaching the intersection.  And once her limits of liability insurance are exhausted, Ben could then collect additional money from his own insurance company via the so-called "underinsured motorist" clause.

For example, if the other driver has only $50,000 in bodily injury coverage but the medical bills and the pain and suffering are ultimately determined to be $1 million, Roethlisberger has the right to recover the difference from his insurance carrier -- if he bought up to $1 million in UIM coverage.

But not having a valid license could impact his ability to recover anything.  Heck, it's also possible that Ben and his "bad stuff happens to other people, not me" gene didn't even bother to buy UIM coverage on the bike that had been given to him by Suzuki (if indeed he even bought insurance of any kind on it).

Though Roethlisberger presumably has the wherewithal to cover his own medical bills, it could be that the same stupidity that put him on the back of a crotch rocket without a helmet also has put him in a position where any legal rights he might have had against the person who might be found to have caused the accident are rattling in a gutter with his teefs.  

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POSTED 12:12 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

BRANCH EXPECTED TO SKIP MANDATORY MINICAMP

Patriots receiver Deion Branch, the MVP of Super Bowl XXXIX, reportedly will not participate in a mandatory minicamp that opens on Tuesday.

Branch, who is entering the final year of his rookie contract, wants a new deal.  

Said defensive lineman Richard Seymour:  "I'm not in Deion's shoes."  But Seymour was in Branch's position a year ago, skipping a mandatory minicamp and holding out from the first few days of training camp before accepting a one-year raise that has since been replaced with a long-term extension.

Now that he's gotten his, Seymour sounds like a company man:  "Deion's a heck of a player.  I can't speak on his situation.  We like Deion.  He's a Pro Bowl-caliber player and a Super Bowl MVP.  He's been making big plays ever since he's been here.  Of course we'd love to have him on this football team."

But just because the Pats caved in to Seymour doesn't mean they'll pay Branch.  Of all the positions on the field, the Patriots seem to regard receiver as the most fungible, allowing both David Patten and David Givens to leave via free agency in successive years.

Under the CBA, Branch must report by the tenth week of the regular season in order to get credit toward the completion of his contract.  (Because he already has four "accrued years," Branch isn't required to report within 30 days of the regular season opener in order to qualify for free agency.)

After completing his rookie contract, the team can restrict his movement via the transition tag or the franchise tag.

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POSTED 10:46 a.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

COWHER BELIEVED TO BE PISSED AT BIG BEN

Although we've received no specific information as to the current mood of Steelers coach Bill Cowher in the wake of the motorcycle accident involving his starting quarterback, league insiders are predicting that Coach Chin is livid with Ben Roethlisberger for riding around town on a crotch-rocket bike without a helmet.

Not only because Roethlisberger's action have potentially compromised the team's ability to defend its Super Bowl title in 2006.  But also because any reduction in the team's performance resulting from Big Ben's condition could impact the market value of Cowher, who is signed through 2007.

"[Roethlisberger] didn't just mess with his own money," said one league insider.  "He's messing with Cowher's money, too."

Indeed, if the Steelers continue to perform at an elite level, Cowher's ability to cash in with a big payday from the Rooneys or from another team would have only increased.  Now, the Steelers' ability to compete for another championship possibly has been undermined in a significant fashion.  

Even though Cowher has a built-in explanation if the team falters this year, there really are no excuses on this one.  Though Roethlisberger is ultimately responsible for the consequences of his decisions, we believe that the persons who were in a position to engineer his behavior -- and who failed to do so -- also bear some of the blame.

Especially Cowher.

Really, shouldn't a head coach be able to get through to his guys?  Though we don't know what went on behind closed doors over the past year, Cowher should have been riding Roethlisberger about the issue of not wearing a helmet until Big Ben got so sick of it that his only choice would be to put one on.

And at the risk of sounding like the old farts that we've become, whatever happened to the time-honored concept of craving the approval of your parents, superiors, and other authority figures?  If we were on a pro sports team (and fans of pro sports teams everywhere should be glad we're not), we'd be genuinely kissing the ass of the guy who runs the show -- and if there was anything that we were going that the head coach didn't like, we'd quit doing it.  

So, at the core, Roethlisberger's injury fairly can be viewed as an implicit reflection of disrespect to his head coach, especially by "old-schoolers" like Cowher -- and like us.  So coupled with the fact that Ben's possible inability to play will make it even harder for his head coach to cash in, we can understand why folks around the league believe that Cowher is pissed off.

Though Cowher and the rest of the organization surely will say and do all of the right things in connection with this situation, we'd bet every dollar that Cowher stands to lose that he, the Rooneys, the front office, the players, and everyone else connected to the club is not happy at all with Roethlisberger for compromising the interests of so many people in order to get the rush of riding a two-wheeler without his head covered by a hard plastic shell.         

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POSTED 10:18 a.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

MEDIA IGNORING REALITIES OF BEN'S INJURIES?

Based on everything we've seen and heard so far on Tuesday morning, the "real" media generally seems to presume that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be ready able to participate in training camp, the preseason, and the regular season.  Though we're not reporting that he'll be out for the year, it's far too early to claim that he'll be ready to go in August or September.

As Dr. Michael Kaner, a Pennsylvania dentist with 20 years of experience who gave us some great insights last night regarding the possible scope of Roethlisberger's "multiple facial fractures", told us on Tuesday morning, "The face is essentially a jigsaw puzzle with many fragile interlocking parts that will heal but are not designed to withstand the kind of hits NFL players dish out."  

So unless the Steelers design -- and the league approves -- some type of funky face mask that will give Big Ben extra protection against the consequences of being laid on by a 300-pound lineman, there could be a battle brewing between Roethlisberger and his doctors regarding his timetable for getting back onto the field.  He'll likely be able to claim that he "feels fine," but there's also a chance that another pop to the pie-hole could cause significant problems.

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POSTED 11:57 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER NOT A LOCK TO PLAY IN 2006

Although there's optimism in Pittsburgh on Monday night after seven hours of surgery to repair "multiple" facial fractures, there's still no guarantee that quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be able to play football in 2006.

Dr. Michael Kaner, a Pennsylvania dentist and long-time PFT reader, has shared with us some general observations regarding Roethlisberger's potential prognosis.  Dr. Kaner has emphasized this his input is hypothetical only, and that he has no information regarding the signal-caller's actual condition.

Dr. Kaner says to keep an ear out for the term "Le Fort" in connection with Roethliberger's facial fractures.

"Le Fort fractures (1,2 or 3) refer to the level of fracture of the upper jaw separating it from the skull," said Dr. Kaner.  "If those words are mentioned in any press conference, he's not playing in 2006 regardless of what anybody says."

Dr. Kaner outlined other questions that would be relevant to determining whether Roethlisberger can play this year.

"How many fractures are there and where are they?  Obviously, the more fractures there are, the longer the recovery period and the greater risk of complications.

"Is the fracture displaced, that is out of the normal alignment.  With the extent of the trauma he experienced, it would not be out of the realm of possibility for the oral surgeons to have to rebuild his jaw and wire it together with titanium plates or screws.  If it's a multiple fracture, he could be out all year. 

"The other question is whether he fractured his upper jaw.  You traditionally think of the lower jaw as being fractured but there can be fractures to the upper jaw, with many complications.

"Is the fracture closed (totally under the skin) or open (bone exposed to the elements substantially increasing the risk of post-operative infection).  His other risks are of other teeth needing root canals or if fractured themselves, needing to be extracted.

"While wired shut, he will be on a pure liquid diet, and how will that impact a pro athlete?  Not positively I'm sure."

Another source with knowledge of jaw and facial injuries has broken the issue down to a single question.  If Roethsliberger's jaw is merely wired shut, he'll miss 6-to-8 weeks.  If he has had plates or other hardware inserted into his face, he'll miss a minimum of six months.

As of now, the doctors, the family, and the team know the answer.  Within the next 24 hours, our guess is that the rest of us will know it, too.

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NFL SCOUT APPEARS ON AOL'S SPORTS BLOGGERS LIVE

We've yet to piss off Jamie Mottram and his colleagues at AOL's Sports Bloggers Live, so we continue to do weekly spots on the show, every Monday night.

This week's segment, during which we discuss the Ben Roethlisberger accident and some other stuff, is available right here for your listening pleasure.

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POSTED 10:25 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER OUT OF SURGERY

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is out of surgery after nearly seven hours of procedures aimed at repairing multiple facial fractures suffered during a Monday morning motorcycle accident.

Per a Mercy Hospital spokesman, Roethlisberger has no brain, chest, or abdominal injuries.

Other published reports confirm that, beyond the jaw and facial injuries, Roethlisberger has no serious injuries.

His official condition is still "serious but stable," and hospital officials said that his status is not expected to change overnight.

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POSTED 8:44 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:15 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN:  DUMBER THAN DUMB

Though we intend to be duly respectful regarding the relevant sensitivities of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's injuries, we need to say something at this point regarding the intelligence, or lack thereof, of the Steelers' starting quarterback.

He's a f--king idiot.

It's one thing to tool around town with a pack of other easy riders, the unique rumble of Harley-Davidson engines saying to the world, "You can't deprive your ears of a sound so good by putting a helmet over them."

It's quite another thing for a 24-year-old quarterback with the world by the nutsack to ride around on a souped-up crotch rocket without proper protection.

And that's what Roethlisberger was doing on Monday.   He was riding, sans helmet, the Hayabusa, which Suzuki describes as "the fastest production bike on the planet."

Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

It's his life, as Mrs. Florio reminded me a few minutes ago.  But she then agreed with my assessment that, like a surgeon who doesn't juggle flaming razor blades when he's not using his hands to guide a scalpel, Roethlisberger's body is his instrument for making money, and he shouldn't be reckless with his money maker, regardless of whether the issue is motorcycle riding or hang gliding or rock climbing or hitting on female golfers who already have girlfriends.  All of that stuff can be done in order to get a quick rush after the football career ends.  Until then, Ben would have been wise to stick to getting his jollies via 16-to-20 NFL games per year. 

But we doubt that anyone ever has accused Big Ben of being wise.  We concluded the first time we heard him talk during a pre-draft segment on ESPN in April 2004 that he's the stereotypical dumb jock. 

At the site of the World Trade Center, Roethlisberger was explaining to offensive tackle Robert Gallery that, after learning of the September 11 attacks, "We didn't even lift that day."

His conduct from Monday suggests that he's far dumber than any cliche' of a stupid football player ever could be.

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BEN USED TO HAVE A HELMET?

A reader reminded us on Monday that Ben Roethlisberger actually used to own a motorcycle helmet.

But then he traded it away for a defective radar detector.

Maybe if Big Ben can no longer be a football player, he can finally fulfill his life-long dream of being a banker.

And if any of that flew right over your head liked Crazy Joe Davola's foot, you should buy Season 4 of Seinfeld on DVD.  Now.

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NEW NICKNAME FOR BIG BEN?

We're entertaining ideas for new nicknames for Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger following his motorcycle accident.

Our current favorite is "Ben Toothlessberger."

We also like "Roethlisbarbaro," if his injuries and recovery spark an outpouring of e-mails and signs and cards that, like the famed race horse, the Steelers quarterback might not actually be able to read.

And as to any Steelers fans who don't like the fact that we're poking fun at Ben's misfortune, we have second points to make.  First, Roethlisberger's injuries were the direct result of his own stupidity.  So it's not like making fun of a guy who got cancer or who had a safe fall on him while he was minding his own business at a bus stop.  If he'd been wearing a helmet, he'd likely be in a lot better shape right now.  And if he'd been driving a big-ass SUV like 98 percent of the other pro athletes, he'd be ordering a canned ham for the family of the 62-year-old woman whom he would have crushed like a dung beetle.

Second, we were merciless in May 2005 after Browns tight end Kellen Winslow wrecked his motorcycle.  Merciless.  So lest we be accused of being Steelers fans or, even worse, of applying a double standard based on the fact that Winslow is African-American and Roethlisberger is white, we're duty bound to blast Big Ben as hard as we scrutinized Evel Kellnievel.

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HOW TO WASTE ADVERTISING DOLLARS

In perusing the ESPN.com coverage of the Ben Roethlisberger accident, we noticed an advertisement that probably won't generate much interest in the short term. 

Here's a photo of the screen. 

Someday is definitely not today.

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POSTED 5:22 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

KNEE INJURIES MERELY ROAD RASH

We're hearing scattered rumors and reports that the reportedly "serious" knee injuries suffered by Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger are not structural in nature, and are instead the result of Roethlisberger's knees being "skinned" on the pavement.  WTAE-TV in Pittsburgh, which had been parroting the Tribune-Review's gloom-and-doom assessment of Roethlisberger's knee injuries, recently has reported that the knee injuries involve the skin and not the joints.

If accurate, this would be a hugely positive development for the team and for Roethlisbeger, and it meshes with information we received earlier from a league source who told us that, beyond the broken jaw, Ben's injuries are not serious.

A loyal reader of the site who also is a dentist tells us that Roethlisberger's broken jaw will require at least a couple of months to heal.  "He will probably be wired 6-8 weeks if it's a 'standard fracture' but even then he'll be susceptible to recurrent injuries [via contact drills] and may be out longer."

Meanwhile, there's already a guy who is selling what he claims to be parts of Roethlisberger's motorcycle on eBay.

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POSTED 4:59 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

POSTED 4:25 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 4:38 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

CONFLICTING REPORTS ON ROETHLISBERGER

There are conflicting reports from Pittsburgh's two leading papers regarding the severity of the injuries suffered by quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in Monday morning's motorcycle accident.

The Tribune-Review reports that Big Ben has, among other things, two serious knee injuries.  The Post-Gazette reports that the team is "encouraged" by reports from Mercy Hospital, and former teammate Jerome Bettis said that he's been told that Ben will be fine.

A league source told us earlier that Roethlisberger did not have serious injuries, beyond a broken jaw.  The source has since told us that he has not been able to confirm reports that Ben has two serious knee injuries.

Stay tuned.

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WHIZZ WAS A VOL

We interrupt our ongoing coverage of a guy who might have foolishly squandered a lucrative pro football career by rolling a bike to address an ongoing situation involving a guy who already has foolishly squandered a lucrative pro football career by rolling joints.

We've received plenty of e-mails on Monday regarding the status of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.  We've gotten almost as many regarding a reference that we made this morning to former Vikings and Blue Bombers running back Onterrio Smith a/k/a the Whizzinator.

We mentioned that Smith went to college at Tennessee, and we plenty of readers have questioned our sanity, since Smith was drafted by the Vikings in 2003 out of Oregon.

But Smith initially went to Tennessee, and he was kicked out of the school in 2000 for (you guessed it) smoking pot.

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POSTED 2:58 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:54 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN NOT SO LUCKY AFTER ALL?

Minutes after we learned from a solid and credible league source that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is not expected to have any serious injuries after suffering a motorcycle accident on Monday morning, we were alerted to reports that Roethlisberger has suffered "serious" injuries to both of his knees.

Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, which broke the story of the accident minutes after it happened, Roethlisberger has fractured his left sinus cavity bone, sustained a nine-inch gash to the back of his head, suffered injuries to both knees and a broken jaw, and he has lost either "most" or "several" of his teeth.

Our source on the "Ben got lucky" story told us he was operating on information that apparently has been superseded, and it's a sign of just how fluid and uncertain the situation has been.

If Ben's knees are seriously injured, his ability to play in 2006 will be significantly affected.  So then the question becomes, what do the Steelers do to replace him?

Personally, we'd call Doug Flutie.  He's a better option than any of the stiffs and retreads currently on the market.  Alternatively, if there's a chance that Roethlisberger is gone for more than one season, we'd get the Falcons on the horn about a trade for Matt Schaub.

We're still digging for more details.

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BIG BEN'S BONUS MONEY IS SAFE, BUT FUTURE PAYDAYS ARE AT RISK

If, as it now appears, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger could miss part of all of the 2006 season as he recovers from injuries sustained in a Monday morning motorcycle accident, many readers have asked us whether Roethlisberger faces any financial jeopardy for getting into an accident while riding a motorcycle without a helmet on.

We've concluded that Roethlisberger most likely won't be required to pay back any of the signing or option bonus money that he has received.

Our research on the topic has uncovered a story posted in May 2005 on an independent web site known as Profootballtalk.com.  Although we hear that the site is run by some guy who is a real asshole (but who also is an NFL scout), we found the information to be persuasive.

On May 5, 2005, we 'splained that, based on Roethlisberger's contract, an injury sustained while riding a motorcycle could be a violation of Paragraph 3 of Roethlisberger's contract, which provides as follows:  "Without prior written consent of the Club, Player will not play football or engage in activities related to football otherwise than for Club or engage in any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of personal injury."

However, Roethlisberger's contract does not does not expressly refer to a breach of Paragraph 3 and/or an injury resulting from motorcycling as grounds for recovering all or part of Roethlisberger's signing or option bonus.

At most, Roethlisberger's contract contemplates that he would be required to refund a big chunk of the $7.2375 million option bonus paid on day five of the 2005 league year if he "voluntarily retires not due to a NFL football related injury." 

Coincidentally, the new CBA negotiated in March restricts circumstances in which bonus recovery is allowed, but it permits bonus recovery to situations in which the player "voluntarily retires."

So the question is whether suffering a career-ending injury via an accident constitutes a voluntary retirement.  If Roethlisberger can't play in 2006, it's not because he voluntarily chose not to do so.  Instead, an unintended accident prevented him from doing so.

Moreover, the injury would have to force a permanent cessation of his football-playing career before the question of whether he "voluntarily" retired would even become relevant.  If he misses one, two, three seasons or more, he still hasn't necessarily retired.

And even if Roethlisberger could never play football again, we don't imagine that the Rooneys would make an example out of him by forcing the return of most of his option bonus money.

Still, based on the current reports regarding the extent of the injuries, Roethlisberger's future earnings potential has taken quite a hit.  If he had remained fully healthy and effective, Roethlisberger was in line for big-money contract extension, with $20 million or more in bonus money.  Now, whether he gets that kind of a future payday is, at best, up in the air.

His endorsement potential also will take a hit, if he can't play.  Guys like Peyton Manning earn more than $10 million per year through such sources, and Roethlisberger was well on his way to matching Manning's national fame.

It's a helluva price tag for indulging his desire to ride a motorcycle instead of driving a car.

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POSTED 2:28 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN GETS "VERY LUCKY"

A league source tells us that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has suffered a broken jaw and various "minor scratches" as a result of his Monday morning motorcycle accident.  But, at this point, the team does not believe that he has suffered any serious injuries to body parts that would be used in the playing of football.

"He will have to be thoroughly checked but at this time he looks to be very lucky," said a league source with knowledge of the situation.

We can't fathom Big Ben emerging from the collision without a single arm, hand, elbow, shoulder, leg, knee, hip, ankle, or foot injury that would impact his ability to prepare for and/or play in the 2006 season.  The pictures suggest a very serious collision between Roethlisberger's motorcycle and a car.  In 2005, for example, concerns regarding the internal injuries suffered by Browns tight end Kellen Winslow when he merely wrecked his motorcycle into a curb quickly gave way to a swollen knee that ultimately was found to have a torn ACL embedded therein.

And if for some reason Roethlisberger couldn't play this year, what would the Steelers do?  Make Charlie Batch the starter?  Re-sign Tommy Maddox?  Bring in Kerry Collins?

Or -- gulp -- bring back Kordell Stewart?

The options would be limited, given that the incident happened so late in the offseason.  But, for now, it appears that he'll be ready to go after his jaw is healed.

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POSTED 1:30 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER IN SURGERY

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger currently is undergoing surgery for injuries suffered in a Monday morning motorcycle accident.

Dr. Larry Jones of Mercy Hospital declined to offer any details regarding the nature of the surgery.

Roethlisberger is listed in serious but stable condition.  Dr. Jones said that Roethlisberger was alert and talking before the commencement of the procedure.

Reporters on WTAE are speculating that Roethlisberger is having surgery to repair jaw injuries.

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POSTED 1:21 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

NO WORD YET ON BIG BEN'S CONDITION

All parties remain tight-lipped regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who is being treated at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh after being involved in a motorcycle accident at 11:37 a.m. on Monday.

Per WTAE-TV, Steelers chairman Dan Rooney is on his way to the hospital.  Teammate Charlie Batch is already at the facility, but has declined to comment.

Team spokesman Dave Lockett told WTAE that he'll defer comment to a specialist, who is expected to address the media by 1:30 p.m.

The most ominous aspect of the story, in our view, is that the matter has been assigned to the homicide department of the Pittsburgh police, which happens whenever (as a police spokesman told WTAE) there's an accident involving "critical" injuries.

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POSTED 11:55 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:05 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER IN "PRETTY BAD" MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roetlisberger has been injured in a motorcycle accident near the 10th Street Bridge in Pittsburgh. 

(As of 12:10 p.m. EDT, the Tribune-Review's web site had crashed, apparently due to the enormous spike in traffic.)

The accident occurred at 11:37 a.m.  He was not wearing a helmet.  A veteran police officer has told WTAE-TV that the accident was "pretty bad."

Per WTAE, Roethlisberger has been taken to the trauma unit at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh.  There are no specifics as to his condition.

A witness to the aftermath of the accident told WTAE at 12:11 p.m. that Roethlisberger was alert and talking to paramedics, but there was "blood everywhere."  The witness also said that Roethlisberger was wearing a neck collar.  As of 12:17 p.m., neither the Mercy Hospital officials nor the team would divulge any details.

Another witness told WTAE that Roethlisberger "T-boned" a vehicle, struck the windshield with his head (the photo of the shattered glass is horrific), rolled onto the ground and struck his head on the pavement.  His eyes were open but he was very confused and disoriented.  He said that he was "okay" and tried to get up.

Roethlisberger was criticized in 2005 for not wearing a helmet, which was revealed after Browns tight end Kellen Winslow wrecked his crotch rocket and suffered a torn ACL and internal injuries. 

Said Roethlisberger at the time:  "I'm pretty conservative and laid back.  I'll just continue to be careful.  [W]e always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."

There's no indication that Roethlisberger was riding in a group on Monday morning.

Stay tuned.

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POSTED 10:22 a.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

EAGLES EXTEND ANDREWS

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com reports that the Philadelphia Eagles have extended the contract of guard Shawn Andrews by seven years, taking it through the 2015 season. 

Andrews has spent only two years in the NFL.  He was a Pro Bowl alternate in 2005.

The seven-year extension could