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POSTED 11:30 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

UPSHAW GETTING ACQUAINTED WITH NEW COMMISH?

We've caught wind of a recent meeting so clandestine that, if we were to even generally describe our source on this one, laser beams would emerge from the official PFT laptop and blast our genitals into a pile of smoldering hummus (with a hint of dill).

Rumor has it that, on Wednesday, NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw played a one-on-one round of golf at the Pine Valley Golf Club in New Jersey with NFL executive V.P. and chief operating officer Roger Goodell.

Though we've got no information as to the purpose of the session, nor confirmation that it even occurred, reasonable minds could readily conclude that the two men were getting better acquainted in the event that Goodell ultimately is named the successor to NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

Unless Upshaw also plans to hit the links with the other presumptive finalists for the job, the meeting could spark speculation that Goodell's ascension to the top job in the sport is a fait accompli, with only the "i"'s to dot and "t"'s to cross before the owners cast their votes in early August.

And even though Tagliabue has said that he's making no recommendations, the guy wants out and recent news reports have laid the foundation for an "insider" (i.e., Goodell) to get the job.  If Tags was able to finesse 30 of 32 owners into agreeing on expanded revenue sharing, which one of the most contentious issues in league history, he surely knows how to press the buttons in order to line up only 22 "ayes" in favor of Goodell, the man who has been groomed for the job.  (Not to be confused with Rich McKay, the guy who only thinks he's been groomed for it.)

Stay tuned.


WELBOURN RETIRES FROM CHIEFS

Though it would be very easy for us to claim that the possible surprise retirement to which we were referring earlier on Thursday was Chiefs tackle John Welbourn, who only hours after our story was posted walked away from the sport at the age of 30, we weren't referring to him.

Regardless, the veteran offensive lineman is packing it in, effective immediately.  "I decided to retire on my own terms rather than somebody else's," Welbourn told the AP.

Given that Welbourn was suspended for four games in 2005 for violating the league's steroid policy, the "somebody else's" terms to which he refers could be a looming suspension for another violation.

The league's steroid policy requires a suspension of at least four games for a first offense, a suspension of at least six games for a second offense, and a suspension of at least one year for a third offense.

Of course, we're not reporting that Welbourn has committed a second or a third violation of the policy (primarily because we've allowed our liability insurance to lapse).  But any time a player with a history of violating either the substance abuse policy or the steroid policy abruptly walks away from the game, there will be speculation that the guy walked before he got run.


POSTED 6:50 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BEN SAYS HE'LL WEAR HELMET, BUT DOESN'T SAY HE WON'T RIDE

In a statement sent by the Steelers to multiple media types (but not, sniff, us) at 5:18 p.m. EDT on Thursday, quarterback Ben Roethlisberger says that, if he ever rides a motorcycle again, it will be with a helmet on his head.

Frankly, we would have preferred a more unequivocal declaration regarding the question of whether he'll be getting on anything in the future that has only two wheels -- especially since Big Ben claims that he has gained a "new perspective on life."

Roethlisberger also appears to concede that he didn't have a license to operate a motorcycle and/or that he didn't qualify to not wear a helmet by saying that he "never meant any harm to others nor to break any laws."

He likewise acknowledges the reality that he was guilty of the "bad stuff only happens to someone else" mindset:  "I was confident in my ability to ride a motorcycle and simply believed such an accident would not happen to me."

Finally, we think that the statement was deliberately vague regarding his timetable for a return to action.  Roethlisberger says that he is "committed to a complete and timely recovery," and that he looks forward "to being at training camp" (not "participating in" it) and "to winning football games this season" (but not specifically games in early September).

Again, we're not saying that he won't be ready for the start of the season.  We believe instead that it's far too early to conclude that he will be, and we think that whoever wrote this statement for him was trying to express optimism without taking a specific position as to when Ben will be ready to go. 


POSTED 4:17 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 5:17 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

SURPRISE RETIREMENT COMING?

We've caught wind of strong rumors that a veteran NFL player is considering walking away from the game of pro football, despite prior indications that he will play in 2006.

It's not Lord Favre, but that's all we're saying for now.  

(And no, readers, it's not Marshall Faulk.  That really wouldn't be a surprise, would it?  Sheesh -- we might not proofread our content, but we're at least generally familiar with it.)

More to come.  Maybe.


NO BRAINER -- MSNBC SHOULD KEEP KEITH

We pause from our ongoing coverage of all things NFL to ponder the dilemma that has been dropped onto the toupee comb of new MSNBC chief Dan Abrams in his first week behind the camera.

Keith Olbermann hosts Countdown, a show that we watch religiously -- and that we regard as one of the most underrated shows in television history.  Recently, the press has gotten its hands on some e-mails that Olbermann has sent, which isn't surprising because the e-mails weren't sent privately to family, friends, or co-workers but to, you know, viewers.

On the surface, it wasn't wise (to say the least) for Olbermann to tell viewers to (for instance) "go f--k your mother."  The core of the problem, as we see it, is that we humans often regard e-mail as the equivalent of being behind the wheel of a car -- the rest of the world can see us, but we somehow think that those panes of clear glass on each of our four sides have rendered us suddenly invisible.

Have we sent out our fair share of profanity-laced e-mails to readers who direct to us insulting messages?  Heck yes.  Would we do so if we were hosting a nightly show on MSNBC or any other cable news network?  Probably not.

But, hey, Keith would.  And has.  So what?  Jesus might have advised us generally to turn the other cheek, but He never got an e-mail from a Samaritan telling Him to "walk on this."  (We wanted to come up with something funnier than that, but the whole "burning in Hell for all eternity" thing that was beaten into our brains during twelve years of Catholic school wouldn't allow us to take it any farther.) 

Bottom line -- Abrams will be making a huge mistake if he determines that Keith's penalty for responding in kind to attack e-mails is to yank Olbermann off of the air for a even a nanosecond.  Instead, let him apologize on the air for his actions and then let's move on.  If, as Abrams claims, he wants to cultivate the irreverence that emanates from shows like Olbermann's, Abrams needs to realize that folks with the gift (or, as it may be, curse) of smartassedness don't always respond with a smile and a "Thanks for your message!" when someone takes a e-swing at them.

Of course, there's also the minor problem of reconciling Olbermann and fellow MSNBC talking head Rita Cosby, to whom Olbermann referred in one e-mail message as "dumber than a suitcase of rocks."

For the record, we've yet to make an assessment as to Cosby's intelligence because, well, we . . . can't . . . get . . . past . . . the . . . voice.  She possesses, without question, the most annoying manner of speaking that we ever have heard.  Anywhere.  She shouldn't be working in radio or television.  Really, she shouldn't be in any job that requires verbal communication, including sentences as simple as "May I take your order?"  

If she wants to be a journalist, fine.  She should be working for a newspaper or a magazine.  And interviewing her subjects via sign language.

So if, in the end, Cosby makes an "it's him or me" power play, the answer is easy.  MSNBC would be improving its product more than tenfold by keeping Keith and telling Rita to take her expertly concealed moose caboose somewhere else.


POSTED 9:32 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 12:24 p.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BIG BEN GOES HOME

WTAE-TV reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been released from Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh, less than 72 hours after a motorcycle accident that resulted in seven hours of facial surgery.

Roethlisberger, per the report, was "whisked" out a side entrance late Wednesday night, with his sister, a doctor, and a Steelers representative surrounding him.

The move makes sense, since it's certain that photographers would have been staking out the facility all day for a chance to get a shot of Big Ben's bruised and swollen face and head.


THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Oilers/Titans LT Brad Hopkins officially has retired after 13 NFL seasons.

The Dolphins have signed G Bennie Anderson.

Attention aspiring, industrious college kids looking for a way to add a line to your resumes without having to put much effort into the process:  We're looking for a copy editor who will proofread all of our postings and spot any typos.  Let us know if you're interested, and we'll send you a sample story with some embedded typos (i.e., basically any one of the stories that we post on the live site) so that you can show us what you can due.

Jags RB Maurice Drew will face a preliminary hearing next week on felony assault charges resulting from an April 23 incident at an L.A.-area Denny's.

Good news for Titans DT Albert Haynesworth -- charges of reckless endangerment in Putnam County, Tennessee were dismissed.  Bad news for Titans DT Albert Haynesworth -- they were dismissed only because they'd been filed in the wrong county.

Giants TE Jeremy Shockey says he doesn't ride motorcycles -- he rides horses.  (But enough about his love life . . . .) 

Giants WR Plaxico Burress joined his team for the first time since skipping out of the final team meeting of the season; the Soup Nazi says he spoke with Plax, but declined to go into details.

Texans coach Gary Kubiak says that QB David Carr is the most improved player on the team (which could mean that he has elevated from "really sucks" to just plain "sucks").

As it turns out, Jags OT Mike Williams remembered to pack his big fat ass when he moved from Buffalo to Jacksonville.

Colts QB Jim Sorgi hasn't thrown in more than a month due to a sore arm.

Two fights broke out during non-contact (wink, nod, fart) sessions at Ravens camp on Wednesday.

RB Reuben Droughns is still No. 1 on the Browns' depth chart.

The Vikings don't intend to ban motorcycle riding.  (In fact, the coaching staff actually has encouraged CB Fred Smoot to ride one.  Without a helmet.  And blindfolded.)

Eagles LB Dhani Jones could be losing his grip on a starting job.

Crazy Joe Davola is knocking the rust off (but no matter how well he performs he still won't be invited to Kramer's party).

Bears CB Nathan Vasher, who made the Pro Bowl in only his second season, has been skipping the team's OTAs because he wants more money.

The Niners have signed three of their low-end draft picks.

No shows for the Ravens' voluntary drills included S Ed Reed, DE Trevor Pryce, LT Jonathan Ogden, LB Adalius Thomas, and DE Terrell Suggs.  (Yeah, the addition of Steve McNair has really electrified the team.) 

Pats WR Chad Jackson is getting an eye-opening from Pats QB Tom Brady, whose nice-guy demeanor off of the field gives way during practice and games to a guy who curses more than Richard Pryor after getting a pitchfork in the pecker.


POSTED 9:16 a.m. EDT, June 15, 2006

BUCS WERE SNIFFING AROUND McNAIR

A league source tells us that, in the days preceding the trade of quarterback Steve McNair from the Tennessee Titans to the Baltimore Ravens, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were in the process of entering the fray for the 2003 NFL co-MVP.

Though it's not known whether the Bucs actually made any trade offers for McNair -- or whether Tampa's interest helped to kick-start stalled talks between the Ravens and Titans -- the 2005 NFC South champion was interested in the possibility of adding McNair to the roster.

On June 7, the Titans sent McNair to Baltimore for a fourth-round pick in the 2007 draft.

The Bucs' interest in McNair could raise question regarding the team's long-term plans for current starter Chris Simms.  Earlier this year, Simms signed a one-year restricted free agent tender, and he is eligible for unrestricted free agency in 2007.  If McNair had landed in Tampa, and if McNair had ended up winning the starting job, the chances of Simms moving on after 2006 would have increased significantly.

Even now, it remains to be seen whether the Bucs try to work out a long-term deal with the son of Super Bowl XXI MVP Phil Simms, whether the younger Simms ends up testing the market, or whether the Bucs slap the franchise or transition tag on him.

The other quarterbacks currently on the roster are Tim Rattay, Luke McCown, and Bruce Gradkowski.  If Simms leaves after 2006, guys who might (key word:  might) be available come 2007 include J.P. Losman, Chad Pennington, Joey Harrington, Kyle Boller, Kerry Collins, Jim Sorgi, David Garrard, Matt Schaub, Trent Green, Jake Plummer, Kurt Warner, Drew Brees, Mark Brunell, Kordell Stewart, Cade McNown, and Akili Smith.  (We threw the last three in just to see if you're paying attention.)   


SIX TEAMS IN HUNT FOR LELIE

As the Ashley Lelie saga continues to drag on in Denver, we're told that a total of six teams have real interest in the former first-round wideout, and that most if not all of the reports and rumors of potential trade mechanics are off of the mark.

One team that isn't interested in Lelie, but has been rumored to be, is the Patriots.

Lelie has been staying away from the Broncos' offseason program, and he was made expendable by the acquisition of Javon Walker.  Most reports indicate that the Broncos would like to get a tight end in exchange for Lelie, but we've heard that the team's bigger objective is to add another running back to a roster that currently has Tatum Bell and Ron Dayne at the top of the depth chart.


TROJANS TRYING TO HOSE THE NFL?

Check out our sister site, Collegefootballtalk.com, for an interesting story regarding the efforts of the University of Southern California to keep the NFL out of its home stadium, the Los Angeles Coliseum.

It seems that the Trojans are concerned that, once "real" football returns to the L.A. area, the sweetheart deal that the school has enjoyed on a venue that otherwise would be hosting ant, roach, and mice conventions could go bye-bye.

Also, kudos to Joe Collegio of CFT for updating the site an impressive (drum roll, please) two days in a row.


BE A FREAK

Since we assume that many of you who spend your time trolling this and other Internet sites don't get much exercise (or natural light), allow us to recommend Adam Archuleta's "Freak of Training" workout video, which will give you all of the information and motivation that you need in order to transform yourself from a keyboard camel to a tempest of testosterone.

Of course, we don't want you to quit spending countless hours in front of the iridescent glow of that 17-inch flat screen that came with your latest computer purchase -- but there's nothing wrong with taking a little time each day to employ some of the training techniques that help Archuleta stay in the kind of shape that prompted the Redskins to pay him $10 million in bonus money. 

Since Archuleta has bought ad space on the site for the last three months and since we get e-mails from many of you who say that you want to support the site in any way that you can, one way to put your money where our wallet is is to buy the Archuleta workout tape.  With Father's Day just around the corner, it's a great way to let dad know that you want to help him reduce his ass down to the size of a baby elephant.

And stay tuned for more NFL player self-help videos, including Ben Roethlisberger's two-part series on motorcycle safety (it's a blank VHS tape) and how to suck the big-ass potato pieces in Chunky Soup through one of those bendy straws. 


POSTED 10:56 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

EAGLES FANS CRY FOUL REGARDING TICKET SALES

We've received numerous e-mails from readers who think that something stinks regarding the manner in which the Philadelphia Eagles distributed single-game tickets on Wednesday, June 14.

The tickets went on sale at 10:00 a.m. on June 14, and per several readers they were sold out within minutes.

But plenty of tickets are available through RazorGator.com, a ticket brokerage that offers seats at a sizeable markup.  Curiously, the Eagles and RazorGator.com have entered into some sort of a partnership, as evidenced by a web page that combines the names and trademarks of both entities.

Although the Eagles tickets available via RazorGator.com supposedly come from "Season Ticket Holders," the mere existence of a business relationship between the Eagles and the ticket brokerage has prompted fans who were unable to get single-game tickets at face value to believe that the seats somehow were funneled to RazorGator -- thereby allowing the team to make even more money on the ultimate transaction.

We're not suggesting that anything inappropriate has actually happened.  But from a P.R. standpoint, the team's arrangement with RazorGator.com coupled with the near-immediate disappearance of the available single-game tickets looks bad, and we think the organization should take a long look at the potential impact of the perception that a back-door windfall is being engineered.

Again, we're not saying it's happening.  But we can understand why reasonable minds would conclude otherwise, based on the available facts.


POSTED 9:58 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

PLATES IN BEN'S HEAD CONFIRMED

As it turns out, the Findlay, Ohio rumor mill was more accurate than not regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. 

We reported on Wednesday morning that the talk on the street in Ben's hometown was that doctors had placed five metal plates in his head during a seven-hours surgery on Monday.

As it turns out, doctors indeed used small titanium plates to reconfigure Big Ben's face, which sustained multiple fractures when he came out on the losing end of the "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug" routine.

The use of the plates means that Roethlisberger's jaw was not wired shut, and that he likewise won't lose a bunch of weight on a liquid-only diet.  In fact, he's already eating pudding (based on his not-so-girlish figure, something he's likely used to) and yogurt (something he's likely not).

Though Roethlisberger is scheduled to be released from the hospital tomorrow, he has severe bruising and swelling in his face and neck area.  So unless he's whisked away in an ambulance, look for the Pittsburgh paparazzi to try to get a few shots of Big Ben and his even fatter Fathead.


POSTED 9:35 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

LACK OF GUARANTEED CONTRACTS MAKES MOTORCYCLE CLAUSES MEANINGLESS

As various members of the media continue to suggest that the NFL should beef up player contracts to specifically prohibit certain dangerous activities such as riding a motorcycle, a league insider has summed up for us in succinct, compelling fashion the reason why such clauses aren't relevant to pro football.

Unlike pro baseball and basketball, in which player base salaries are fully guaranteed, NFL teams can deal with a player who is dumb enough to drive a motorcycle into, say, a tree by putting him on the non-football injury list -- and thus avoiding any obligation to pay him.

And although under the new CBA the forfeiture of bonus money is still on the table if the team and the player agree that there will be repayment "if a player willfully takes action that has the effect of substantially undermining his ability to fully participate and contribute in either preseason training camp or the regular season," the recovery is limited to 25 percent of the bonus allocation for the affected season or 1/17th of the season's bonus allocation for each regular season game missed, whichever is greater.

Besides, what the hell does it mean to "willfully take action that has the effect of substantially undermining his ability to fully participate and contribute in either preseason training camp or the regular season"?  It sounds to us like a grievance or two (or maybe ten) will be required to help determine the contours of this definition.

In the end, a team's best approach under the new CBA will be to identify the players who might be prone to taking risks, and to utilize per-week roster bonuses as a vehicle for funneling to the player money that otherwise would be paid out as a signing or option bonus.


POSTED 2:37 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 3:43 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

NEW WARRANT ISSUED FOR CHRIS HENRY

On Tuesday, we said that we'd continue to focus on the recovery of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident unless Chris Henry or A.J. Nicholson or Sean Taylor or Marcus Vick kill someone within the next 48 hours.

We have a winner.  Sort of.

WCPO-TV reports that a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Bengals receiver Chris Henry, and that he is wanted for three counts of "unlawful transaction with a minor."

Per WKRC-TV, the charges arise from allegations that Henry provided alcohol to three underage females.  The incident occurred at a party at a Covington, Kentucky hotel in April.  

After the "party," one of the girls claimed that Henry had raped her.  No rape charges were filed against Henry, but the girl ultimately was charged with falsely reporting an incident.  She has since been arrested for prostitution.  

Meanwhile, Dan Patrick of ESPN Radio mentioned the arrest on the air at approximately 2:50 p.m. during a segment with ESPN colleague Michael Irvin -- and Irvin in response promised to "reach out" to the troubled wideout.

Praise the Lord!  Reverend Irvin is gonna be savin' some souls!

Irvin also promised to get himself some Emmys in his post-football TV career.  We think he's got a better chance of turning Chris Henry into a choir boy.


CORRECTION ON BIG BEN CONTRACT

We've been referring over the past couple of days to an item we wrote in May 2005 regarding the contents of Ben Roethlisberger's contract, and we're now prepared to acknowledge that the guy who wrote that item 13-plus months ago is, well, an idiot.

After further review, Roethlisberger's contract does contain language allowing the team to pursue recovery of bonus money, even if his injuries don't force him to "voluntarily retire.   Per the agreement, he also is required to give back a boatload of bonus money if he refuses or fails to report for training camp and/or the regular season.  

Although the contract doesn't specifically refer to motorcycles, a league source will extensive experience negotiating and interpreting such documents tells us that the language regarding failure to report applies to non-football injuries that prevent the player from passing a physical -- even if he has every intention and desire to play.

Regardless, the broader question is whether and to what extent new restrictions on bonus forfeitures from the recently-extended CBA  apply to existing contracts.  As we explained on Tuesday, the NFL currently won't comment on this issue, explaining that it is still a subject of negotiation.  The CBA Term Sheet hammered out by the league and the players union is, in our opinion, ambiguous as to the question of whether limitations on the recovery of bonus money apply to pre-existing contracts.    


ANOTHER "HOLY CRAP" MOMENT

This weekly spot thing on AOL's Sports Bloggers Live has turned out to be a pretty sweet deal for us.  Yet again, the folks at AOL help to create the impression that we know what we're talking about, via a little high-profile pub on the front page of the mega-site's sports section.

Thanks again to Jamie Mottram and crew for giving us a weekly seat at the table.  We'll continue to try to screw it up.  Eventually, we'll succeed.


POSTED 11:57 a.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

BUREAUCRATS WON'T SAY WHETHER BEN HAD TAKEN SAFETY COURSE

On Tuesday, we connected the dots (with the aid of yet another reader of this site who is smarter than we . . . or is it us?) regarding the revelation that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger doesn't have a license to operate a motorcycle and his ability to legally do so without a helmet.

As we explained on Tuesday, Pennsylvania law permits a motorcyclist to not wear a helmet only if he or she is over the age of 21 and has had a license to operate a motorcycle for at least two years, or if he or she is over 21 and has completed an approved motorcycle safety course.

It appears that Ben didn't have a license for at least two years.  Now, WTAE-TV reports that the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation won't say whether Roethlisberger has completed a safety course.

Though we're not inclined to tell "real" journalists how to do their jobs (okay, maybe we are), its seems to us that a request pursuant to the Pennsylvania equivalent of the Freedom of Information Act is in order.  State and federal governmental agencies are required by law to disclose, in response to an appropriate inquiry, certain public information.  Although various exceptions apply, we can't imagine that the question of whether someone actually took an approved motorcycle safety course would be shielded.


POSTED 9:19 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:38 a.m. EDT, June 14, 2006

BEN HAS FIVE PLATES IN HIS HEAD?

At a time when there is scant information available via the traditional media regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, we'll take our Big Ben updates wherever we can find them.

So we've tapped into our sources in Roethlisberger's hometown of Findlay, Ohio, and we've learned that the talk on the street there is that Ben has five plates in his head, but that he also has been cleared to resume working out in two weeks.

The information, per our source, is two steps removed from Roethlisberger's sister, Carlee.

Take it for what it is.  We've all seen how quickly a list of household items like "milk, bread, eggs" transforms into something like "purple, monkey, meatball" after being passed through the ears, brains, and mouths of a short string of normal human beings. 

But two steps removed from his sister?  Maybe there's something to it.

Meanwhile, a reader of the site who also happens to be a neurologist tells us that he's very skeptical of the claim that Roethlisberger has suffered only a "mild concussion" after his head slammed into a glass windshield with enough force to break his jaw in multiple places and knock out at least two of his teefs.

Also, keep in mind the reality that the cumulative effect of concussions can be greater than the sum of the individual brain injuries that a person has endured in his or her lifetime.  The headbanging he sustained on Monday surely puts him at risk for even more serious consequences if/when his brain gets jostled around in its bony briefcase after he returns to the football field.    


STEELERS WARNED BEN ABOUT BIKING

ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli, who was surprisingly silent as John Clayton carried the ball for the first 36 hours or so after the Ben Roethlisberger motorcycle accident (then again, Monday is $5 pizza day at Little Caesar's), reports that the Steelers warned their starting quarterback in 2005 that continuing to operate a motorcycle could jeopardize portions of his contract.

The problem, as we've previously reported and as Pasquarelli confirms, is that Roethlisberger's contract contains no express prohibition against riding a motorcycle.  (In contrast, the contract signed by Browns tight end Kellen Winslow specifically stated that he could be forced to pay back millions in bonus money if injured while "motorcycling.")  Indeed, our inspection of Roethlisberger's contract when news broke after the Winslow accident that Ben rides a motorcycle sans noggin-protector revealed that the team could recover bonus money from Roethlisberger only if he voluntarily retired.

So even though Paragraph 3 of the standard NFL player contract states that a player may not "engage in any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of personal injury," the problem that teams face is that the clause, standing alone, has no teeth.

That's why clubs began inserting specific language into bonus provisions allowing the recovery of money that already has been paid if the player later engages in actions that prevent him from "earning" his bonus money by playing football in the seasons that the bonus payment is intended to cover.  A signing bonus isn't a lottery prize; it's advance compensation intended to secure a player's services for the specific number of years over which the bonus is prorated.  If the player engages in off-field conduct that prevents him from fulfilling his end of the bargain, the team gets back the advance compensation.

But there has to be language in the deal tying the ability to recover bonus money to conduct that keeps the player from playing.  In this case (and based on our review of Roethlisberger's contract), the Steelers can't get back any bonus money unless he walks away entirely from the game of football.  

And the team likely knew this when the letter was sent; we think that the real purpose of the correspondence was to scare him into wearing a helmet and/or not riding a motorcycle at all.  In fact, we wouldn't be surprised to learn that the team and agent Leigh Steinberg got together on a "wink, nod" basis on this one in order to give Steinberg some extra ammo for getting his thick-headed lummox of a client to park the bike until he's done playing ball.

This doesn't mean that the Steelers are without options if they decide to try to teach Ben a lesson.  Even though his contract doesn't permit the recovery of bonus money absent a voluntary retirement, the team could file a non-injury grievance pursuant to Article IX of the CBA, and the team could attempt to recover standard breach of contract damages from him.

For example, if Ben isn't available for training camp, when most teams carry at least four quarterbacks in order to have enough arms to deliver balls to the pre-cuts flock of receivers, tight ends, and running backs, the Steelers will incur expenses in replacing him, even on a temporary basis (i.e., plane fare, hotel room, per diems, etc.).  Because such expenses arose directly from Roethlisberger's violation of Paragraph 3 of the standard player contract, the team could recover the expenses from him through the non-injury grievance process.

The overriding question, however, is whether chasing Ben for, in the grand scheme of things, pocket change is worth potentially poisoning the relationship, especially at a time when guys drafted within five spots of him (Shawn Andrews of the Eagles) are signing long-term extensions.  

The obvious answer is "no way in hell."

So even though it's interesting to learn that the Steelers "warned" Ben about the potential financial consequences of riding his motorcycle, the reality is that there's nothing that the team will do about it -- especially without a clear provision like the one in Kellen Winslow's contract. 


SPRINT PHONE TO THE RESCUE

The Florio family's recent trip to the D.C. area included a loooong day of sightseeing, from the National Zoo to the White House to the Washington Monument to the various war memorials to the Lincoln Memorial.

And since Florio Jr. wouldn't release his grip on the official Florio family digital camera, yours truly needed a way to snap a few shots of various places of interest.

Enter the Samsung A900 phone, available only through Sprint.  Here's a quick sampling of the images captured on its built-in camera, which (to the surprisingly mild chagrin of the Secret Service) is also small enough to slide through the iron bars for an unobstructed photo of the White House.  

(I took this one just before a large man wearing a blue blazer and dark sunglasses politely asked me to get my damn hands onto the other side of the fence.)

(Brother Abe had some big feet.)

So get yourself a Samsung A900 phone -- because you never know when one of the kids is going to bogart your actual camera.


POSTED 11:11 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:58 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

IRVIN'S T.O. INTERVIEW WAS SHAMEFUL

Before Ben Roethlisberger banged his bike into a New Yorker owned by a person from Maine in Pittsburgh on Monday, we were focusing on the SportsCenter Sunday Conversation between ESPN's Michael Irvin and Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens.

It was, in our opinion, a shameful display.  And multiple industry insiders agree with our assessment.

For starters, it was more infomercial than interview, with an uncharacteristically subdued Irvin offering up softballs so predictable that we wouldn't be surprised to learn that Owens' agent, Drew Rosenhaus, helped Irvin draft the questions:

1.  "How do you see your responsibility as a role model?"

2.  "What lessons do you teach the kids beyond football skills?  Life lessons?"

3.  "What regrets do you have from the last couple of years?"

4.  "How do you feel when you hear people say you are not a good teammate?"

5.  "What if any assurances or promises did you have to give the Cowboys organization, Jerry Jones, or Bill Parcells?"

6.  "When did Bill and you first have a conversation?"

7.  "How important is it to have a coach like Bill Parcells, for you?"

8.  "Bill is known to come up with pet names for his star players.  Has he come up with a pet name for you yet?"

That was it, with only two meaningless follow-up questions regarding the content of the initial discussion between Parcells and Owens.

And Owens' responses contain plenty of stuff that would sound okay.  If we were somehow able to completely ignore the events of the past 14 months.

Such as:  "I think I feel like in my heart I've always been a good teammate."

Yeah.  He's been a great teammate.  Just ask Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb.  For starters.

And shame on ESPN for allowing the interview to be conducted, and then aired.  Obviously, Irvin got access to Owens because Irvin was the only guy in the media who consistently defended T.O.'s indefensible conduct in 2005.  It's Irvin's shtick; by always siding with the player whenever there's a controversy involving player and team, Irvin gets the "exclusive" when the player decides to talk, because the player knows that Irvin won't ask any tough questions.

Indeed, there's no way Rosenhaus would have allowed Owens to be interviewed by any other ESPN employee, especially since it was T.O.'s sit down with ESPN contributor Graham Bentsinger that set the stage for Owens' exile from Philly.

It's a sad statement, in our opinion, when a media conglomerate like ESPN employs such obvious tactics merely to secure a "get" than no one else can.

So here's the question ESPN needs to ask itself.  Is it better not to get access at all than to get it under circumstances that will leave the interviewer walking funny the next morning -- especially when the network's legitimate journalists are all smart enough to know exactly what's going on?

If we were calling the shots at ESPN (and every Disney shareholder should be rubbing their mouse ears in celebration of the fact that we aren't), the term "puff piece" would be used only in reference to interviews of Ricky Williams or Onterrio Smith.


TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Colts LB Cato June has been arrested for failing to appear in court on a charge of driving on a suspended license.

The Bucs have signed WR Ben Nelson and have cut DE Moe Thompson.

Browns G.M. Phil Savage recognizes that pro athletes are more likely to be risk takers; "I wish all our players liked board games or low-risk hobbies," Savage said.  ("Like going to church," he added.)

Ravens QB Steve McNair says learning his new team's offense is "mind boggling."

QB Tommy Maddox has reminded the Steelers that he's still available (but not, of course, by choice).

Pats WR Deion Branch skipped out on the first day of the team's mandatory minicamp.

Bills QB J.P. Losman recently bought a house in Buffalo (which he'll be needing for roughly another seven months).

The Texans are trying to get more tight ends involved in the offense.


POSTED 4:55 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER UPGRADED TO FAIR CONDITION

At a Tuesday afternoon news conference, doctors said that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been upgraded to fair condition.

The doctors also said that he is awake, alert, oriented, and resting.  He is expected to be released from the hospital in the next three-to-five days.

Per WPXI-TV, the official list of injuries is as follows:  fractures to his upper and lower jaw, a mild concussion, a fractured nose, fractured facial bones, multiple head lacerations, multiple abrasions/contusions, loss of two teeth, several chipped teeth, and no evidence of any major structural damage to either knees.

As we've previously explained, the specific condition of the fractures to the upper jaw and the various facial fractures will be critical for determining the time required for his recovery.  Because the family did not allow the doctors to take questions, there's still no way to determine his timetable for a return to football activities (contrary to a report that he'll miss only the preseason opener). 

Finally, we've received several e-mails from fans of teams other than the Steelers complaining about the extent to which we've been covering the Roethlisberger story.  To them we say this -- there's not really anything else happening right now.  So unless Chris Henry or A.J. Nicholson or Sean Taylor or Marcus Vick kill someone within the next 48 hours, the condition of the starting quarterback of the Super Bowl XL championship team will continue to be a focal point of NFL coverage both here and elsewhere. 


POSTED 4:38 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

SOURCE SAYS IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL WHEN BEN CAN PLAY

In direct contradiction of a report published on Tuesday afternoon by Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, in which the veteran beat writer says that quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be ready for the regular season opener, a source with knowledge of the situation surrounding the Steelers starting quarterback tells us, "I do not think there is any way anyone but God can determine this early whether Ben can play at any point."

So what does this make of Bouchette's report?  Several readers have expressed skepticism regarding Bouchette's claim, which comes from unnamed sources, that Roethlisberger will be ready to go by September 7, and that he'll miss only one preseason game.

Our guess is that someone within the organization concluded that it would be prudent to attempt to calm down a frenzied fan base at a time when Roethlisberger's condition following a Monday motorcycle mishap is arguably the biggest out-of-season football story that the city of Pittsburgh ever has seen.  For Bouchette to run with the story, the source had to be someone in a sufficient position of authority to prompt him to conclude that:  (a) the information is valid; or (b) even if it isn't, he'd be wise to use it.  

And if the report turns out to be wrong, there's no official accountability for the team, since the team didn't officially claim that Ben would be able to play come September.  The only person who'd look bad is Bouchette -- but his relationship with the source for whom he took the bullet would be strengthened because of it, guaranteeing even more access to inside information down the road.  


POSTED 3:58 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

BONUS FORFEITURE CLAUSE STILL BEING NEGOTIATED

In the wake of conflicting reports regarding the question of whether Ben Roethlisberger's football contract provides for the recovery of bonus money if he's unable to play football due to injuries resulting from a motorcycle wreck, we've decided to take a step back and consider the broader question of whether such a clause would even be valid in light of the newly-negotiated CBA, which contains stiff restrictions on the ability of teams to attempt to secure reimbursement of bonus money.

Although NFL spokesman Greg Aiello previously told us that the league believes the new limits on bonus recovery do not apply to contracts negotiated prior to the adoption of the changes to the CBA, Aiello now tells us that the league will not comment on the matter because it is "still the subject of negotiation" with the NFL Players Association.

And for good reason.  The Term Sheet to which the NFL and the NFLPA agreed in March is, in our assessment, ambiguous as to the question of whether the limits on bonus recovery apply to pre-existing contracts.

Page 4 of the Term Sheet sets forth the limitations on bonus forfeiture.  Initially, the Term Sheet says that no signing bonus forfeitures are permitted in new contracts, except that the player and the team may agree to a proportionate forfeiture of the signing bonus if the player "voluntarily retires," and the player and the team may agree to a provision under which the player forfeits the greater of 25 percent of the prorated signing bonus for the year in question of 1/17th of the allocation for the year for each game missed if he "willfully takes action that has the effect of substantially undermining his ability to fully participate in either preseason training camp or the regular season."

Also, the Term Sheet says that no forfeitures are permitted (in current or future deals) of signing bonus allocations for years already performed, or for escalators or performance bonuses already earned.  For example, a player who signs a four-year deal with a $4 million signing bonus who retires after year one can't be required to pay back more than $3 million, since he's already "earned" 25 percent of the bonus by performing under the first year of the deal.

The Term Sheet further states that the right to recover and/or retain signing bonus money can't be conditioned on participation in voluntary offseason workouts or for the making of adverse public statements.

Finally, the Term Sheet says that teams cannot individually negotiate provisions relating to bonus forfeiture for violations of the substance abuse and/or steroid policies.

The ambiguity in the Term Sheet arises at the top of page 5, where the following language appears:  "Except as provided above, existing contract forfeiture provisions entered into before the end of the 2005 regular season will be in full force and effect for the duration of the current contract, and any extensions resulting solely from the effectuation of contract provisions (e.g., options).

At first blush, this provision seems to contemplate that the limitations on bonus forfeiture apply only to deals struck after the implementation of the new CBA.  But the introductory clause -- "Except as provided above" -- arguably makes any contracts negotiated prior to the end of the 2005 regular season subject to the same provisions.

So what does all of this mean?  Who knows.  And that's likely why the NFL and the NFLPA are still talking about it.

Our best guess is that pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions still apply, but that:  (1) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from a failure to participate in voluntary offseason programs are void; (2) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from adverse public statements are void; (3) any pre-existing bonus forfeiture provisions resulting from violation of the substance abuse or steroid policy are possibly void.  (It's a closer question as to the drug/steroid issue, and we don't want to bore you any more than we already have.  But the issue is extremely important, given the still-pending grievance filed by the Lions against receiver Charles Rogers, who allegedly owes the team multiple millions of dollars after serving a four-game suspension for violation of the substance abuse policy in 2005.)

We also think that signing/option bonus forfeitures based on all other conduct (such as engaging in dangerous activities including motorcycle riding) are fair game for pre-existing contracts, but that the recovery will be limited to the portion of the signing bonus that already has been earned.  We also think that teams cannot recover salary escalators or performance bonuses that already have been earned, even if pre-existing contracts would allow it.

Regardless of what we think, the NFL and the NFLPA will work this out, one way or another.  Given the perception that the union cleaned the league's clock regarding these non-economic terms, we think that the NFL will push hard to secure the broadest possible rights for teams with pre-existing bonus forfeiture clauses.

Moving forward, though, it won't matter.  For all new contracts, teams can recover signing/option bonus money only if the player retires or if the player willfully renders himself unable to participate in training camp or the regular season.  As to the latter provision (which applies most obviously to holdouts and suspensions for conduct detrimental to the team), the team's remedy is limited almost to the point that it really doesn't provide much of a deterrent, especially in comparison to the far more pricey forfeiture provisions that were permitted under the old CBA.

As to Roethlisberger, the issue for now appears to be moot, since the most recent information is that he won't miss much time in 2006.  Moreover, it was always unlikely that the team would try to recovery any of the bonus money, no matter how miffed the coaching staff and/or the front office genuinely might be.      


POSTED 2:06 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 2:22 p.m. EDT,June 13, 2006

BIG BEN WILL BE READY FOR FINS

According to Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be able to play in the 2006 regular season opener on September 7 against the Miami Dolphins.

Citing unnamed sources, Bouchette reports that the injuries are confined to Roethlisberger's face, and that published reports of potentially serious knee and shoulder injuries were incorrect.

In short, Ben is one lucky bastard.  Dumb as a twice-baked potato, but lucky nevertheless.

Bouchette also reports that the surgery required seven hours due in part to efforts by surgeons to ensure a faster recovery time.  Roethlisberger is expected to miss the preseason opener, but he will be able to participate in training camp.


TECHNICALLY, LAW REQUIRED BEN TO WEAR HELMET?

In light of the KDKA-TV report that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger did not have a license to operate a motorcycle, it appears that the Pennsylvania law exempting certain motorcyclists from wearing a helmet did not apply to Big Ben.

Which means that, under the law, he should have had a helmet on.

As it's written, the relevant Pennsylvania statute requires riders to wear protective gear, including a helmet.  But the law creates an exception for the following categories of persons:  (1)  a person over the age of 21 who has been licensed to operate a motorcycle for at least two years; or (2) a person over the age of 21 who has completed an approved a motorcycle rider safety course.

If Roethlisberger had not completed an motorcycle rider safety course, he did not qualify for the exemption, since it appears that he has not held a license to operate a motorcycle for the requisite two years.

Thanks to the reader who pointed this out to us -- and thanks to everyone who has been e-mailing to us new information regarding this story.


POSTED 12:30 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

BIG BEN HAD NO MOTORCYCLE LICENSE

KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has no license to operate a motorcycle.

Per an unnamed source, KDKA reports that Roethlisberger never took the written or the practical exam necessary for the issuance of a license.  Instead, he had a learner's permit that expired on March 29, 2006.

What does it mean?  Nothing at all, regarding his injuries and his recovery therefrom.  But depending on the manner in which Pennsylvania statutes and case law apply to such matters, Big Ben might be shut out when the time comes to collect insurance money from the driver of the car involved in the accident (if, in the end, she is found to be in any way at fault).

In theory, Roethlisberger could make a valid legal claim against the other driver, if as it appears she made a left turn against oncoming traffic without seeing his motorcycle approaching the intersection.  And once her limits of liability insurance are exhausted, Ben could then collect additional money from his own insurance company via the so-called "underinsured motorist" clause.

For example, if the other driver has only $50,000 in bodily injury coverage but the medical bills and the pain and suffering are ultimately determined to be $1 million, Roethlisberger has the right to recover the difference from his insurance carrier -- if he bought up to $1 million in UIM coverage.

But not having a valid license could impact his ability to recover anything.  Heck, it's also possible that Ben and his "bad stuff happens to other people, not me" gene didn't even bother to buy UIM coverage on the bike that had been given to him by Suzuki (if indeed he even bought insurance of any kind on it).

Though Roethlisberger presumably has the wherewithal to cover his own medical bills, it could be that the same stupidity that put him on the back of a crotch rocket without a helmet also has put him in a position where any legal rights he might have had against the person who might be found to have caused the accident are rattling in a gutter with his teefs.  


POSTED 12:12 p.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

BRANCH EXPECTED TO SKIP MANDATORY MINICAMP

Patriots receiver Deion Branch, the MVP of Super Bowl XXXIX, reportedly will not participate in a mandatory minicamp that opens on Tuesday.

Branch, who is entering the final year of his rookie contract, wants a new deal.  

Said defensive lineman Richard Seymour:  "I'm not in Deion's shoes."  But Seymour was in Branch's position a year ago, skipping a mandatory minicamp and holding out from the first few days of training camp before accepting a one-year raise that has since been replaced with a long-term extension.

Now that he's gotten his, Seymour sounds like a company man:  "Deion's a heck of a player.  I can't speak on his situation.  We like Deion.  He's a Pro Bowl-caliber player and a Super Bowl MVP.  He's been making big plays ever since he's been here.  Of course we'd love to have him on this football team."

But just because the Pats caved in to Seymour doesn't mean they'll pay Branch.  Of all the positions on the field, the Patriots seem to regard receiver as the most fungible, allowing both David Patten and David Givens to leave via free agency in successive years.

Under the CBA, Branch must report by the tenth week of the regular season in order to get credit toward the completion of his contract.  (Because he already has four "accrued years," Branch isn't required to report within 30 days of the regular season opener in order to qualify for free agency.)

After completing his rookie contract, the team can restrict his movement via the transition tag or the franchise tag.


POSTED 10:46 a.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

COWHER BELIEVED TO BE PISSED AT BIG BEN

Although we've received no specific information as to the current mood of Steelers coach Bill Cowher in the wake of the motorcycle accident involving his starting quarterback, league insiders are predicting that Coach Chin is livid with Ben Roethlisberger for riding around town on a crotch-rocket bike without a helmet.

Not only because Roethlisberger's action have potentially compromised the team's ability to defend its Super Bowl title in 2006.  But also because any reduction in the team's performance resulting from Big Ben's condition could impact the market value of Cowher, who is signed through 2007.

"[Roethlisberger] didn't just mess with his own money," said one league insider.  "He's messing with Cowher's money, too."

Indeed, if the Steelers continue to perform at an elite level, Cowher's ability to cash in with a big payday from the Rooneys or from another team would have only increased.  Now, the Steelers' ability to compete for another championship possibly has been undermined in a significant fashion.  

Even though Cowher has a built-in explanation if the team falters this year, there really are no excuses on this one.  Though Roethlisberger is ultimately responsible for the consequences of his decisions, we believe that the persons who were in a position to engineer his behavior -- and who failed to do so -- also bear some of the blame.

Especially Cowher.

Really, shouldn't a head coach be able to get through to his guys?  Though we don't know what went on behind closed doors over the past year, Cowher should have been riding Roethlisberger about the issue of not wearing a helmet until Big Ben got so sick of it that his only choice would be to put one on.

And at the risk of sounding like the old farts that we've become, whatever happened to the time-honored concept of craving the approval of your parents, superiors, and other authority figures?  If we were on a pro sports team (and fans of pro sports teams everywhere should be glad we're not), we'd be genuinely kissing the ass of the guy who runs the show -- and if there was anything that we were going that the head coach didn't like, we'd quit doing it.  

So, at the core, Roethlisberger's injury fairly can be viewed as an implicit reflection of disrespect to his head coach, especially by "old-schoolers" like Cowher -- and like us.  So coupled with the fact that Ben's possible inability to play will make it even harder for his head coach to cash in, we can understand why folks around the league believe that Cowher is pissed off.

Though Cowher and the rest of the organization surely will say and do all of the right things in connection with this situation, we'd bet every dollar that Cowher stands to lose that he, the Rooneys, the front office, the players, and everyone else connected to the club is not happy at all with Roethlisberger for compromising the interests of so many people in order to get the rush of riding a two-wheeler without his head covered by a hard plastic shell.         


POSTED 10:18 a.m. EDT, June 13, 2006

MEDIA IGNORING REALITIES OF BEN'S INJURIES?

Based on everything we've seen and heard so far on Tuesday morning, the "real" media generally seems to presume that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be ready able to participate in training camp, the preseason, and the regular season.  Though we're not reporting that he'll be out for the year, it's far too early to claim that he'll be ready to go in August or September.

As Dr. Michael Kaner, a Pennsylvania dentist with 20 years of experience who gave us some great insights last night regarding the possible scope of Roethlisberger's "multiple facial fractures", told us on Tuesday morning, "The face is essentially a jigsaw puzzle with many fragile interlocking parts that will heal but are not designed to withstand the kind of hits NFL players dish out."  

So unless the Steelers design -- and the league approves -- some type of funky face mask that will give Big Ben extra protection against the consequences of being laid on by a 300-pound lineman, there could be a battle brewing between Roethlisberger and his doctors regarding his timetable for getting back onto the field.  He'll likely be able to claim that he "feels fine," but there's also a chance that another pop to the pie-hole could cause significant problems.


POSTED 11:57 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER NOT A LOCK TO PLAY IN 2006

Although there's optimism in Pittsburgh on Monday night after seven hours of surgery to repair "multiple" facial fractures, there's still no guarantee that quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will be able to play football in 2006.

Dr. Michael Kaner, a Pennsylvania dentist and long-time PFT reader, has shared with us some general observations regarding Roethlisberger's potential prognosis.  Dr. Kaner has emphasized this his input is hypothetical only, and that he has no information regarding the signal-caller's actual condition.

Dr. Kaner says to keep an ear out for the term "Le Fort" in connection with Roethliberger's facial fractures.

"Le Fort fractures (1,2 or 3) refer to the level of fracture of the upper jaw separating it from the skull," said Dr. Kaner.  "If those words are mentioned in any press conference, he's not playing in 2006 regardless of what anybody says."

Dr. Kaner outlined other questions that would be relevant to determining whether Roethlisberger can play this year.

"How many fractures are there and where are they?  Obviously, the more fractures there are, the longer the recovery period and the greater risk of complications.

"Is the fracture displaced, that is out of the normal alignment.  With the extent of the trauma he experienced, it would not be out of the realm of possibility for the oral surgeons to have to rebuild his jaw and wire it together with titanium plates or screws.  If it's a multiple fracture, he could be out all year. 

"The other question is whether he fractured his upper jaw.  You traditionally think of the lower jaw as being fractured but there can be fractures to the upper jaw, with many complications.

"Is the fracture closed (totally under the skin) or open (bone exposed to the elements substantially increasing the risk of post-operative infection).  His other risks are of other teeth needing root canals or if fractured themselves, needing to be extracted.

"While wired shut, he will be on a pure liquid diet, and how will that impact a pro athlete?  Not positively I'm sure."

Another source with knowledge of jaw and facial injuries has broken the issue down to a single question.  If Roethsliberger's jaw is merely wired shut, he'll miss 6-to-8 weeks.  If he has had plates or other hardware inserted into his face, he'll miss a minimum of six months.

As of now, the doctors, the family, and the team know the answer.  Within the next 24 hours, our guess is that the rest of us will know it, too.


NFL SCOUT APPEARS ON AOL'S SPORTS BLOGGERS LIVE

We've yet to piss off Jamie Mottram and his colleagues at AOL's Sports Bloggers Live, so we continue to do weekly spots on the show, every Monday night.

This week's segment, during which we discuss the Ben Roethlisberger accident and some other stuff, is available right here for your listening pleasure.


POSTED 10:25 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER OUT OF SURGERY

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is out of surgery after nearly seven hours of procedures aimed at repairing multiple facial fractures suffered during a Monday morning motorcycle accident.

Per a Mercy Hospital spokesman, Roethlisberger has no brain, chest, or abdominal injuries.

Other published reports confirm that, beyond the jaw and facial injuries, Roethlisberger has no serious injuries.

His official condition is still "serious but stable," and hospital officials said that his status is not expected to change overnight.


POSTED 8:44 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:15 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN:  DUMBER THAN DUMB

Though we intend to be duly respectful regarding the relevant sensitivities of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger's injuries, we need to say something at this point regarding the intelligence, or lack thereof, of the Steelers' starting quarterback.

He's a f--king idiot.

It's one thing to tool around town with a pack of other easy riders, the unique rumble of Harley-Davidson engines saying to the world, "You can't deprive your ears of a sound so good by putting a helmet over them."

It's quite another thing for a 24-year-old quarterback with the world by the nutsack to ride around on a souped-up crotch rocket without proper protection.

And that's what Roethlisberger was doing on Monday.   He was riding, sans helmet, the Hayabusa, which Suzuki describes as "the fastest production bike on the planet."

Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

It's his life, as Mrs. Florio reminded me a few minutes ago.  But she then agreed with my assessment that, like a surgeon who doesn't juggle flaming razor blades when he's not using his hands to guide a scalpel, Roethlisberger's body is his instrument for making money, and he shouldn't be reckless with his money maker, regardless of whether the issue is motorcycle riding or hang gliding or rock climbing or hitting on female golfers who already have girlfriends.  All of that stuff can be done in order to get a quick rush after the football career ends.  Until then, Ben would have been wise to stick to getting his jollies via 16-to-20 NFL games per year. 

But we doubt that anyone ever has accused Big Ben of being wise.  We concluded the first time we heard him talk during a pre-draft segment on ESPN in April 2004 that he's the stereotypical dumb jock. 

At the site of the World Trade Center, Roethlisberger was explaining to offensive tackle Robert Gallery that, after learning of the September 11 attacks, "We didn't even lift that day."

His conduct from Monday suggests that he's far dumber than any cliche' of a stupid football player ever could be.


BEN USED TO HAVE A HELMET?

A reader reminded us on Monday that Ben Roethlisberger actually used to own a motorcycle helmet.

But then he traded it away for a defective radar detector.

Maybe if Big Ben can no longer be a football player, he can finally fulfill his life-long dream of being a banker.

And if any of that flew right over your head liked Crazy Joe Davola's foot, you should buy Season 4 of Seinfeld on DVD.  Now.


NEW NICKNAME FOR BIG BEN?

We're entertaining ideas for new nicknames for Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger following his motorcycle accident.

Our current favorite is "Ben Toothlessberger."

We also like "Roethlisbarbaro," if his injuries and recovery spark an outpouring of e-mails and signs and cards that, like the famed race horse, the Steelers quarterback might not actually be able to read.

And as to any Steelers fans who don't like the fact that we're poking fun at Ben's misfortune, we have second points to make.  First, Roethlisberger's injuries were the direct result of his own stupidity.  So it's not like making fun of a guy who got cancer or who had a safe fall on him while he was minding his own business at a bus stop.  If he'd been wearing a helmet, he'd likely be in a lot better shape right now.  And if he'd been driving a big-ass SUV like 98 percent of the other pro athletes, he'd be ordering a canned ham for the family of the 62-year-old woman whom he would have crushed like a dung beetle.

Second, we were merciless in May 2005 after Browns tight end Kellen Winslow wrecked his motorcycle.  Merciless.  So lest we be accused of being Steelers fans or, even worse, of applying a double standard based on the fact that Winslow is African-American and Roethlisberger is white, we're duty bound to blast Big Ben as hard as we scrutinized Evel Kellnievel.


HOW TO WASTE ADVERTISING DOLLARS

In perusing the ESPN.com coverage of the Ben Roethlisberger accident, we noticed an advertisement that probably won't generate much interest in the short term. 

Here's a photo of the screen. 

Someday is definitely not today.


POSTED 5:22 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

KNEE INJURIES MERELY ROAD RASH

We're hearing scattered rumors and reports that the reportedly "serious" knee injuries suffered by Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger are not structural in nature, and are instead the result of Roethlisberger's knees being "skinned" on the pavement.  WTAE-TV in Pittsburgh, which had been parroting the Tribune-Review's gloom-and-doom assessment of Roethlisberger's knee injuries, recently has reported that the knee injuries involve the skin and not the joints.

If accurate, this would be a hugely positive development for the team and for Roethlisbeger, and it meshes with information we received earlier from a league source who told us that, beyond the broken jaw, Ben's injuries are not serious.

A loyal reader of the site who also is a dentist tells us that Roethlisberger's broken jaw will require at least a couple of months to heal.  "He will probably be wired 6-8 weeks if it's a 'standard fracture' but even then he'll be susceptible to recurrent injuries [via contact drills] and may be out longer."

Meanwhile, there's already a guy who is selling what he claims to be parts of Roethlisberger's motorcycle on eBay.


POSTED 4:59 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

T.O., TUNA DIDN'T TALK UNTIL MAY

During a shameful act of on-air fellatio between ESPN's Michael Irvin and Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens (an "interview" on which we'll comment in greater depth later on Monday), T.O. made a startling admission regarding the absence of any communications between himself and his new head coach until more than six weeks after Owens had inked a contract with the team.

"When did Bill [Parcells] and you first have a conversation?" queried Irvin during the SportsCenter Sunday Conversation.

"Maybe at some part of early May," Owens said. 

What?  Are you kidding me?  No conversation between player and coach at all before the Cowboys gave Owens a $5 million signing bonus as part of a contract that might be worth as much as $25 million over three years?

This revelation (which like the rest of T.O.'s answers drew no meaningful follow-up question from Irvin) confirms reports and rumors that Parcells was out of the loop on the Owens acquisition.

Why else wouldn't Parcells at least have a conversation with Owens?  Given the Tuna's years of experience in dealing with all types of football personalities, he would have known in five minutes or less whether Owens was fit to join the team.

Our guess is that Parcells didn't insist on talking to Owens before the signing was made because Parcells also knows his boss, owner Jerry Jones, well enough to realize that nothing was going to keep Jones from adding Owens to the team. 

Still, it's amazing that one of the most notorious figures in pro football history was able to join a team coached by sure-fire Hall of Famer Bill Parcells without any direct participation by a guy with his credentials and stature directly involved in the screening process. 


POSTED 4:25 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 4:38 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

CONFLICTING REPORTS ON ROETHLISBERGER

There are conflicting reports from Pittsburgh's two leading papers regarding the severity of the injuries suffered by quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in Monday morning's motorcycle accident.

The Tribune-Review reports that Big Ben has, among other things, two serious knee injuries.  The Post-Gazette reports that the team is "encouraged" by reports from Mercy Hospital, and former teammate Jerome Bettis said that he's been told that Ben will be fine.

A league source told us earlier that Roethlisberger did not have serious injuries, beyond a broken jaw.  The source has since told us that he has not been able to confirm reports that Ben has two serious knee injuries.

Stay tuned.


WHIZZ WAS A VOL

We interrupt our ongoing coverage of a guy who might have foolishly squandered a lucrative pro football career by rolling a bike to address an ongoing situation involving a guy who already has foolishly squandered a lucrative pro football career by rolling joints.

We've received plenty of e-mails on Monday regarding the status of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.  We've gotten almost as many regarding a reference that we made this morning to former Vikings and Blue Bombers running back Onterrio Smith a/k/a the Whizzinator.

We mentioned that Smith went to college at Tennessee, and we plenty of readers have questioned our sanity, since Smith was drafted by the Vikings in 2003 out of Oregon.

But Smith initially went to Tennessee, and he was kicked out of the school in 2000 for (you guessed it) smoking pot.


POSTED 2:58 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:54 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN NOT SO LUCKY AFTER ALL?

Minutes after we learned from a solid and credible league source that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is not expected to have any serious injuries after suffering a motorcycle accident on Monday morning, we were alerted to reports that Roethlisberger has suffered "serious" injuries to both of his knees.

Per the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, which broke the story of the accident minutes after it happened, Roethlisberger has fractured his left sinus cavity bone, sustained a nine-inch gash to the back of his head, suffered injuries to both knees and a broken jaw, and he has lost either "most" or "several" of his teeth.

Our source on the "Ben got lucky" story told us he was operating on information that apparently has been superseded, and it's a sign of just how fluid and uncertain the situation has been.

"The injuries reported sound like a credible leak," the source told us.  "There was no indication of any knee injuries from my source who was with Ben but who knows?" 

Our source has since advised us that he still has no confirmation that reports of two serious knee injuries are accurate.

If Ben's knees are seriously injured, his ability to play in 2006 will be significantly affected.  So then the question becomes, what do the Steelers do to replace him?

Personally, we'd call Doug Flutie.  He's a better option than any of the stiffs and retreads currently on the market.  Alternatively, if there's a chance that Roethlisberger is gone for more than one season, we'd get the Falcons on the horn about a trade for Matt Schaub.

We're still digging for more details.


BIG BEN'S BONUS MONEY IS SAFE, BUT FUTURE PAYDAYS ARE AT RISK

If, as it now appears, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger could miss part of all of the 2006 season as he recovers from injuries sustained in a Monday morning motorcycle accident, many readers have asked us whether Roethlisberger faces any financial jeopardy for getting into an accident while riding a motorcycle without a helmet on.

We've concluded that Roethlisberger most likely won't be required to pay back any of the signing or option bonus money that he has received.

Our research on the topic has uncovered a story posted in May 2005 on an independent web site known as Profootballtalk.com.  Although we hear that the site is run by some guy who is a real asshole (but who also is an NFL scout), we found the information to be persuasive.

On May 5, 2005, we 'splained that, based on Roethlisberger's contract, an injury sustained while riding a motorcycle could be a violation of Paragraph 3 of Roethlisberger's contract, which provides as follows:  "Without prior written consent of the Club, Player will not play football or engage in activities related to football otherwise than for Club or engage in any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of personal injury."

However, Roethlisberger's contract does not does not expressly refer to a breach of Paragraph 3 and/or an injury resulting from motorcycling as grounds for recovering all or part of Roethlisberger's signing or option bonus.

At most, Roethlisberger's contract contemplates that he would be required to refund a big chunk of the $7.2375 million option bonus paid on day five of the 2005 league year if he "voluntarily retires not due to a NFL football related injury." 

Coincidentally, the new CBA negotiated in March restricts circumstances in which bonus recovery is allowed, but it permits bonus recovery to situations in which the player "voluntarily retires."

So the question is whether suffering a career-ending injury via an accident constitutes a voluntary retirement.  If Roethlisberger can't play in 2006, it's not because he voluntarily chose not to do so.  Instead, an unintended accident prevented him from doing so.

Moreover, the injury would have to force a permanent cessation of his football-playing career before the question of whether he "voluntarily" retired would even become relevant.  If he misses one, two, three seasons or more, he still hasn't necessarily retired.

And even if Roethlisberger could never play football again, we don't imagine that the Rooneys would make an example out of him by forcing the return of most of his option bonus money.

Still, based on the current reports regarding the extent of the injuries, Roethlisberger's future earnings potential has taken quite a hit.  If he had remained fully healthy and effective, Roethlisberger was in line for big-money contract extension, with $20 million or more in bonus money.  Now, whether he gets that kind of a future payday is, at best, up in the air.

His endorsement potential also will take a hit, if he can't play.  Guys like Peyton Manning earn more than $10 million per year through such sources, and Roethlisberger was well on his way to matching Manning's national fame.

It's a helluva price tag for indulging his desire to ride a motorcycle instead of driving a car.


POSTED 2:28 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

BIG BEN GETS "VERY LUCKY"

A league source tells us that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has suffered a broken jaw and various "minor scratches" as a result of his Monday morning motorcycle accident.  But, at this point, the team does not believe that he has suffered any serious injuries to body parts that would be used in the playing of football.

"He will have to be thoroughly checked but at this time he looks to be very lucky," said a league source with knowledge of the situation.

We can't fathom Big Ben emerging from the collision without a single arm, hand, elbow, shoulder, leg, knee, hip, ankle, or foot injury that would impact his ability to prepare for and/or play in the 2006 season.  The pictures suggest a very serious collision between Roethlisberger's motorcycle and a car.  In 2005, for example, concerns regarding the internal injuries suffered by Browns tight end Kellen Winslow when he merely wrecked his motorcycle into a curb quickly gave way to a swollen knee that ultimately was found to have a torn ACL embedded therein.

And if for some reason Roethlisberger couldn't play this year, what would the Steelers do?  Make Charlie Batch the starter?  Re-sign Tommy Maddox?  Bring in Kerry Collins?

Or -- gulp -- bring back Kordell Stewart?

The options would be limited, given that the incident happened so late in the offseason.  But, for now, it appears that he'll be ready to go after his jaw is healed.


POSTED 1:30 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER IN SURGERY

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger currently is undergoing surgery for injuries suffered in a Monday morning motorcycle accident.

Dr. Larry Jones of Mercy Hospital declined to offer any details regarding the nature of the surgery.

Roethlisberger is listed in serious but stable condition.  Dr. Jones said that Roethlisberger was alert and talking before the commencement of the procedure.

Reporters on WTAE are speculating that Roethlisberger is having surgery to repair jaw injuries.


POSTED 1:21 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

NO WORD YET ON BIG BEN'S CONDITION

All parties remain tight-lipped regarding the condition of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who is being treated at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh after being involved in a motorcycle accident at 11:37 a.m. on Monday.

Per WTAE-TV, Steelers chairman Dan Rooney is on his way to the hospital.  Teammate Charlie Batch is already at the facility, but has declined to comment.

Team spokesman Dave Lockett told WTAE that he'll defer comment to a specialist, who is expected to address the media by 1:30 p.m.

The most ominous aspect of the story, in our view, is that the matter has been assigned to the homicide department of the Pittsburgh police, which happens whenever (as a police spokesman told WTAE) there's an accident involving "critical" injuries.


POSTED 11:55 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:05 p.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

ROETHLISBERGER IN "PRETTY BAD" MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review reports that Steelers quarterback Ben Roetlisberger has been injured in a motorcycle accident near the 10th Street Bridge in Pittsburgh. 

(As of 12:10 p.m. EDT, the Tribune-Review's web site had crashed, apparently due to the enormous spike in traffic.)

The accident occurred at 11:37 a.m.  He was not wearing a helmet.  A veteran police officer has told WTAE-TV that the accident was "pretty bad."

Per WTAE, Roethlisberger has been taken to the trauma unit at Mercy Hospital in Pittsburgh.  There are no specifics as to his condition.

A witness to the aftermath of the accident told WTAE at 12:11 p.m. that Roethlisberger was alert and talking to paramedics, but there was "blood everywhere."  The witness also said that Roethlisberger was wearing a neck collar.  As of 12:17 p.m., neither the Mercy Hospital officials nor the team would divulge any details.

Another witness told WTAE that Roethlisberger "T-boned" a vehicle, struck the windshield with his head (the photo of the shattered glass is horrific), rolled onto the ground and struck his head on the pavement.  His eyes were open but he was very confused and disoriented.  He said that he was "okay" and tried to get up.

Roethlisberger was criticized in 2005 for not wearing a helmet, which was revealed after Browns tight end Kellen Winslow wrecked his crotch rocket and suffered a torn ACL and internal injuries. 

Said Roethlisberger at the time:  "I'm pretty conservative and laid back.  I'll just continue to be careful.  [W]e always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."

There's no indication that Roethlisberger was riding in a group on Monday morning.

Stay tuned.


POSTED 10:22 a.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

EAGLES EXTEND ANDREWS

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com reports that the Philadelphia Eagles have extended the contract of guard Shawn Andrews by seven years, taking it through the 2015 season. 

Andrews has spent only two years in the NFL.  He was a Pro Bowl alternate in 2005.

The seven-year extension could be worth up to $40 million.  He'll earn $12 million in 2009, and the deal includes between $10 million and $11 million in bonus money.

Andrews was Philly's first-round pick in 2004, the 16th overall selection in the draft.  His rookie contract would have expired after 2008.  His initial six-year deal voided to five based on play-time incentives.

He recently drew attention for his efforts to lose weight after one of his friends died of a heart attack at age 23.

"I don't want to die young because I'm too fat," Andrews said last month.

Amen.  There's no food that tastes as good as it feels to be alive.  (With the possible exception of a plate full of really big-ass fried shrimp.)


POSTED 9:10 a.m. EDT, June 12, 2006

THE RETURN OF CRAZY JOE

Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com first reported on Sunday that former Saints and Rams tackle Kyle "Crazy Joe Davola" Turley had agreed in principle on a two-year deal with the Kansas City Chiefs.

The move, as Glazer observes, gives the Chiefs two former first-round tackles drafted by the Saints during the tenure of Chiefs' V.P. of player personnel Bill Kuharich in New Orleans.

Turley was drafted in 1998.  He hasn't played since 2003, due to back problems.  He'd been interested in making a comeback as a tight end or a defensive end so that he could play at a lower weight, in the hopes that his back would stay under control.

But the Chiefs plan to make Turley primarily a tackle.  In May, Turley participated in a Dolphins' rookie minicamp in the hopes of catching on as a tight end.

According to the Kansas City Star, Turley could end up winning the starting right tackle job.

In addition to his connection with Kuharich, Turley and Chiefs coach Herm Edwards have a little history together.  During Edwards' first season with the Jets in 2001, Turley grabbed the helmet of Jets safety Damien Robinson and threw it (sans head) across the field.  Turley made an obscene gesture and then was ejected.

Turley secured the moniker "Crazy Joe Davola" from this here site in 2004, after it was revealed that he allegedly threatened to kill former Rams coach Mike Martz.  The original Davola was a recurring character during Season Four of Seinfeld, who kicked Kramer in the head, was sprayed in the face with cherry Binaca by Elaine, and stalked Jerry because he believed that the show's title character had put the kibosh on Davola's potential project with NBC.


CHARGERS MILKING STEELER NATION

One of the items we missed last week was the revelation that the Chargers are offering up tickets to their 2006 regular-season game against the Steelers -- if and only if those interested in buying the tickets also purchase seats to both of the Chargers' exhibition games and its home opener against the not-so-titanic Titans.

So to see the Steelers play in San Diego, it'll cost $296 per seat.

Earlier this year, Steelers chairman Dan Rooney proposed a rule that would bar teams from tying the purchase of tickets for one game to the purchase of tickets for other games, but the measure went nowhere.

The broader question, which we assume the Chargers and the NFL have investigated thoroughly, is whether the practice of forcing a Steelers fan in San Diego to buy tickets to three other games that he or she doesn't care to see runs afoul of antitrust laws.  Since the facts of a given case often drive the rule of law that emanates from the final decision, we think that forcing a team's entire exhibition schedule onto a fan who wants to see one regular season game could cause problems, if/when someone gets mad enough to press the issue.


MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

The school that owns the trademark on the Terrible Towel made $900,000 from sales in 2005.

Uncle Rico has bid farewell to his Pop.

If Rams RB Marshall Faulk retires, the team will be looking for another tailback; we figure they'd trade for Michael Bennett.

Lord Favre apparently plans to pack in his charity softball game after he retires.

During the softball game, QB Aaron Rodgers called his shot and Dookie hit a couple of dingers.

Some Packers players were stunned by the fact that more than 8,000 people turned out for the game.  (The turnout would have been higher but for that cow-milking competition in Sheboygan.)

Dolphins WR Marty Booker has a "pretty good sprained ankle" (which is the first time the phrase "pretty good" has been used in reference to Booker since he arrived in Miami two years ago).

The Vikings' new stadium (if they ever get one) might be built on the site that currently houses the Metrodome.

The Panthers have two more weeks of offseason workouts on the calendar, but coach John Fox traditionally gives the team the final week off.

The Chargers have three more coaching sessions before getting a little time off.

No one wore a red jersey during Dolphins practice on Sunday.  (The coaching staff didn't want to get Daunte Culpepper confused as to whether he'd actually been traded to the Chiefs.)

Ricky Williams didn't smoke marijuana while at Texas.  (Neither did Onterrio Smith at Tennessee.)


POSTED 10:45 p.m. EDT, June 11, 2006

HARRINGTON LOOKS HORRIBLE

Word around the league is that Dolphins backup quarterback Joey Harrington has looked horrible in his first official minicamp with the team.

Harrington, the third overall pick in the 2002 draft, was acquired via a trade in May from the Lions.  The Dolphins sent to Detroit a sixth-round pick in 2007.  The pick could upgrade to a fifth-rounder. 

We're not suggesting that Harrington is in line to not make the team, but with starter Daunte Culpepper apparently well ahead of schedule in his rehab from that torn knee ligament trifecta and with No.3 quarterback Cleo Lemon arguably better suited to serve as Culpepper's understudy given that they both are far more mobile than Harrington, we wouldn't be surprised to see Lemon leapfrog Harrington at some point during the 2006 season.


THURMAN NOT SUSPENDED

At a time when Bengals coach Marvin Lewis is being criticized for the team's selection of turds like receiver Chris Henry and linebacker A.J. Nicholson, we're told that rumors of a looming embarrassment from yet another recent draft pick are off the mark.

There's talk that linebacker Odell Thurman, who hardly has been a choir boy during his first season in Cincy, will be suspended for the 2006 season, presumably for violations of the substance abuse policy.  Per a league source, the rumors aren't true.

We can't get any more details than that (such as, for example, whether Thurman is in the substance abuse program at a level less than the trigger for a one-year banishment) given the highly confidential nature of such matters.

But confidentiality and the possibility of a $500,000 fine for breaching it hasn't kept many folks from blabbing about matters regarding the drug policy in the past, so if Thurman has generated any positive tests we figure word will get out.

For now, though, there are no truth to rumors of a one-year suspension.


POSTED 8:34 a.m. EDT, June 11, 2006

VICK "DOESN'T GIVE A SH-T"?

League insiders who are observing the Miami Dolphins tell us that it appears that rookie Marcus Vick "doesn't give a sh-t," but that Fins coach Nick Saban inexplicably is coddling him.

Vick is listed primarily as a receiver but could get action at other positions, including quarterback.  Vick arguably performed more effectively as a pocket passer than his brother Michael during the younger Vick's full year as a starter at Virginia Tech.

But off-field issues caused Vick not to be drafted.  He later participated in a rookie minicamp on a tryout basis with Miami, and was later signed by the Dolphins to a low-risk deal.  His chances of making the 53-man roster are thought to be slim.  However, there's a feeling that Saban could give him the benefit of the doubt in the hopes of turning Marcus into a guy who can be an Antwaan Randle El/Kordell Stewart (before he started sucking) player.


"MIKE FLORIO, NFL SCOUT"

We've gotten some input from several key employees of NFL teams in response to the explanation provided by Jim Loftus of ESPN.com and Scouts, Inc. regarding the question of whether Jeremy Green's three years with the War Room and one year with Scouts, Inc. constitute four additional seasons of being an "NFL scout."

Said one source in an e-mail with the heading "Mike Florio, NFL Scout":  "I think you should describe yourself as an 'NFL Scout' for as long as your web site has been up and running.  You talk about players all the time.  What's the difference between what you do and what Jeremy Green does?   Get a few more years experience as a 'scout' and I'll hire you."

Said another:  "The guys at the War Room and Scouts, Inc., etc. are not NFL scouts.  Not even close.  They have no accountability and they are not working for a team.  They are strictly a service for fans."

Yet another NFL team employee is pleased to see former NFL team employees who criticize current NFL team employees being held accountable:  "These people are finally getting a taste of what it feels like to be on the side that they have always lived on.  They publicly criticize people.  Now they are getting a taste of what we feel like some days.  Most of them don't like it." 

As to the Jeremy Green tenure with Scouts, Inc. counting as time served as an NFL scout, this source said that the Loftus explanation is "still misleading and misrepresenting. . . so any clown that publishes their opinion of a player is considered an NFL scout?"


SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

After throwing 29 picks in 2005, Lord Favre has moved from fourth to third on the list of most popular sports figures.  (If he breaks George Blanda's all-time interception record in 2006, maybe he'll move to No. 2.)

Packers LB Brady Poppinga says he's ready to go full speed after popping an ACL last season.

TE Christian Fauria is happy to be with the Redskins.

Rams DT Jimmy Kennedy has moved to nose tackle.

Fins DT Manny Wright also has moved to the nose tackle position.

Former NFL quarterback Cary Conklin has been hired as a scout with the Rams.

Are the Bills installing the "Cover Two" defense in 2006?  (As opposed to 2005, in which the team employed the "Cover None.")

With Steve McNair gone, the fans in Nashville are looking for a new sports icon.  (How about Pacman Jones?)

Former 49ers and Lions coach Steve Mariucci, fired twice this decade, is glad to have one of those TV jobs for which there's little accountability.

The inherently competitive nature of the players is another reason for the NFL and the NFLPA to put in place measures aimed at protecting them against injuries during offseason workouts.


POSTED 11:14 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:42 p.m. EDT, June 10, 2006

PLAYERS WON'T QUIT USING HGH

In response to reports that the NFL Players Association is opposed to blood testing for Human Growth Hormone, which currently can't be detected via urinalysis, a league source tells us that many NFL players are currently using HGH, have been using HGH since the early 1990s, and will continue to use HGH until there's a system in place for catching them.

And there might not be a system for a while.

NFLPA Executive Director Gene Upshaw told the Washington Post that he "and other league leaders" doubt the reliability of blood testing for HGH.  NFL spokesman Greg Aiello confirmed the league's concern in this regard:  "We have no current plans to implement blood testing, and we have concerns about the reliability of the blood test that currently exists."

But the other issue at work in this regard could be player privacy rights and, more importantly, the concessions that management would have to make in order to secure the ability not only to place a plastic cup under a player's pee-pee, but also to poke a pin into their epidermis.

"When you start talking about coming in to take a person's blood, that's different than taking someone's urine," Upshaw said.  "I know personally I would have a problem with someone coming in and trying to take the players' blood.  I'm not ready to make that leap."

Sorry, folks, but at a time when baseball is finally facing its long overdue day of reckoning for years of rampant abuses regarding performance enhancing drugs, the NFL should be taking aggressive steps to prevent the eventual embarrassment that might arise once it's revealed that players have rampantly been using HGH.

Then again, it's not as if the NFL ever took much of a black eye for its own history with steroids, primarily since the individual effects of using steroids or HGH or other prohibited substances aren't as noticeable as in the inherently one-on-one setting of pitcher versus a batter. 

Still, the fact that the NFL hasn't faced a P.R. storm regarding past experiences with steroids isn't a good enough reason, in our view, to turn a blind eye to the lingering HGH problem.  Besides, Congress made it abundantly clear in 2005 that if the pro sports leagues don't take sufficient steps to clean this crap out of their sports, Congress will do it for them.


SATURDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Agent Drew Rosenhaus says that he plans to keep representing players for another 30 years.

Jay Gruden is looking for his 7th Arena Bowl title.  (And let's hope that, if he gets it, he stays under 0.08.)

Roughly 3,000 fans were present for Chargers practice on Saturday. 

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have circumcised the Whizzinator.  (We hear that he was still 25 pounds overweight as of Friday.)

The Toronto Argonauts have hacked former NFL WR Donald Hayes.

The Texans have re-signed LB Antwan Peek to a one-year deal.

The Packers have cut DT Donnell Washington, who was a third-round draft choice in 2004.

Dolphins players are "inspired" by the status of QB Daunte Culpepper.

Rams coach Scott Linehan is pushing RB Marshall Faulk to make a decision as to whether he's going to retire.

Miami DE Kevin Carter is standing up for DT Keith Traylor.

49ers coach Mike Nolan denies that he's interested in sending TE Eric Johnson to Denver, who's reportedly send WR Ashley Lelie to New Orleans, who'd send WR Donte' Stallworth to San Fran.

WR Joe Horn thinks he's on a Super Bowl team.  (When was he traded to the Steelers?)


POSTED 7:33 a.m. EDT, June 10, 2006

LACK OF COWHER COMMITMENT CAUSES CONCERN

Regardless of whether Steelers coach Bill Cowher plans to retire from his job with the Pittsburgh Steelers within the next year or two, there's talk in league circles that Cowher's public comments regarding the issue were extremely ill-advised.

On Thursday, the 49-year-old Cowher said that he's "just taking it year to year."  It's hardly the kind of commitment that an organization wants a head coach to demonstrate to its players, especially as they prepare for the increasingly difficult task of defending a Super Bowl championship.

Though Cowher finally has achieved his goal of winning a Super Bowl, it took him 14 years to get there, and the Rooneys stood behind him through almost as many "downs" as "ups."  Other owners would have fired him years ago.  And although the Steelers finally have the long-coveted "one for the thumb," they could be on their way to filling up a second hand if Cowher had gotten the boot after a 6-10 season in 1999 and the Rooneys had brought in, say, Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli, both of whom landed in New England for the 2000 season.

The thinking is that Cowher simply wasn't thinking about the impact of his comments, and that he was indeed being truthful.  His circumstances aren't being regarded within the organization as a ploy to get a big-money deal, and it very well could be that, after capping his 14-year quest for a Lombardi, Cowher is ready to move on.

One reader speculated that he'll eventually coach at his alma mater of North Carolina State.  We still think that, if/when he packs it in in Pittsburgh, he'll wait for someone to roll up to Raleigh with an armored car full of cash as an enticement to get back into the pro game.  Eventually, some owner will make him an offer that he simply can't refuse.


JOSEPH JEOPARDIZING HIS JOB WITH GIANTS

Although guys like tight end Jeremy Shockey and receiver Plaxico Burress can get away with their decision to spend the offseason working out in Miami in lieu of attending "voluntary" sessions in New York, underachievers like defensive tackle William Joseph could be asking for trouble by staying away from the Soup Nazi's regimen of minicamps and OTAs.

Word out of New York is that Joseph, the team's 2003 draft pick the season before the Soup Nazi a/k/a coach Tom Coughlin was hired, has hurt his chances to make the final 53-man roster by skipping out on the voluntary workouts.

Joseph got no starts as a rookie, four in 2004, and nine in 2005 before injuries limited him to only one more regular season game.  He also appeared in the team's playoff loss to the Panthers.


GREEN PIECE DRAWS RESPONSE

Though we didn't hear from Jeremy Green of ESPN.com and Scouts, Inc. regarding the Foley-esque statement appended to his work product, which states that Green has been an NFL scout for 11 years even though he has worked for NFL teams in only seven of them, we received an e-mail from Jim Loftus, the senior coordinator of Scouts, Inc. 

Said Loftus:  "I saw your item on Jeremy and wanted to let you know that he actually started scouting NFL players in '95, when he and Gary Horton started The War Room.  I included those three years, plus his last year working for Insider and Scouts Inc., when I wrote the tagline we're using at the bottom of his columns."

Our response:  "Working for the War Room isn't the same as being an 'NFL scout,' since the term strongly implies he actually worked with an NFL team for 11 years.  I think that most people who work for NFL teams would agree with me."

And as to any folks who work for NFL teams who'd like to chime in, please do so.  We'll tally the votes and post them here, without disclosing anyone's name.

Said one guy who works for an NFL team regarding the inclusion of Green's years with the War Room within his tenure as an NFL scout, "I'm sure his fantasy football teams were undefeated from 1995 through 1997."


MORE ON (OR IS IT "MORON"?) JUDGE

Though we're in no way comparing CBSSportsline.com senior writer Clark Judge to the Lord of the Eternally Damned, we're starting to think that, if we were to criticize Satan in this space for, say, a typo on the big sign hanging above the Gates of Hell, we'd get at least a dozen e-mails defending him in some way.  ("He's really busy down there now, processing all of the incoming terrorists and Raiders fans.")

So we weren't surprised to receive more than a dozen e-mails from readers who have taken up for Judge and his seemingly erroneous comparison of the 10-meter splits in a 100-meter race to the times generated by football players running the 40-yard dash.

The key sentence from Judge's June 6 item is as follows:  "Experts who broke down [Ben Johnson's 1988 Olympic] race into 10-meter increments estimated he went through the 40 at 4.38 seconds."

This sentence, when read in the context of Judge's one-paragraph discussion of the topic (the full text of which appears below), suggests that Judge was referring to Johnson's 40-meter split, since he makes express reference to the fact that experts broke the race into "10-meter" increments -- and says nothing about the breaking down of the effort into 10-yard segments.

In response to our criticism of Judge, several readers have taken us to task for (get this) failing to locate the article on which Judge's take is based and realizing that the article that formed the starting point for Judge explains that the experts who broke down Johnson's performance concluded that he covered 40 yards in 4.38 seconds.

Even though Judge's item didn't cite any other article.

The readers were referring to an April 18, 2005 article written by Mark Zeigler of the San Diego Union-Tribune.  Here's the key portion of Zeigler's item:  "Timing officials have since broken down that famed race into 10-meter increments, and Johnson was so preposterously fast that he went through 50 meters in 5.52 seconds and 60 meters in 6.37 – both under the current world records at those distances.  He went through 40 yards that day in 4.38 seconds."

The argument, then, is that we should cut Judge some slack because he simply failed to make clear in his own article the details from the other article.

Okay, then.  We'll revise our position from Friday.  Judge isn't a nincompoop because he couldn't keep straight the difference between yards and meters.  He's a nincompoop because he couldn't keep straight the details from the work product of someone else that he lifted without attribution or citation of any kind.

And we'll wrap this one up with an observation that should render the entire 100-meter race versus 40-yard dash issue moot.  In Olympic races, the clock starts on the sounding of the gun, and the reaction time of the runner increases the final number.  In football workouts, the "dash" begins with the first movement of the player, and the reaction time of the guy with the stopwatch decreases the final number.  When dealing with tenths and hundredths of a second, the difference is enough to bridge the gap between a Ben Johnson and a Vernon Davis.


GREETINGS FROM BETHESDA

We weren't able to get a long-promised PodCast completed on Friday because yours truly opted at the last minute to accompany the family to the D.C.-area for the weekend. 

We were at The Cheesecake Factory in the White Flint Mall in Bethesda on Friday night, and yours truly was accompanying 9-year-old Florio Jr. to the men's room for his traditional post-meal Najeh Davenport routine, which isn't to be confused with Florio Jr.'s pre-meal Najeh Davenport routine. 

(Any man with a son who has no qualms about pooping in public places surely will agree that there are few situations more awkward than hanging around in a men's room while other men come into the room to do business that usually isn't done with other men hanging around.) 

So I'm standing by the paper towel dispenser sporting one of my several PFT shirts and a guy walks over to dry off his hands and says "Profootballtalk-dot-com, huh?  My boss hates that site . . . because I'm always on it."

"I'm the guy that writes it," I said.

He paused for a second.  "Florio, right?"

"That's me."

So we shook hands, had a laugh, and I told him not to get himself fired for reading the site at work.

And then I realized that, someday, I might bump into someone like A.J. Hawk or Lord Favre or Mike Tice or Fran Foley and their reaction won't be as favorable.

So, basically, I'm not wearing a PFT shirt today.   


POSTED 10:29 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:10 a.m. EDT, June 9, 2006

COACH CHIN PULLING A BIG SHOW?

Though NFL teams are notorious for copying the successful franchises, it's rare that the coach of the Super Bowl-winning team takes a cue from the guy that he vanquished.  But Steelers coach Bill Cowher possibly is lifting Seattle coach Mike Holmgren's recent move, feigning retirement in an effort to squeeze top dollar out of his employer.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports that there's a "growing feeling" inside the Steelers organization that Cowher might coach one more season, or at the most two, before retiring to a $2.5 million home that he and his wife have purchased in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Cowher is under contract for two more seasons, and Holmgren just parlayed his coy boy routine into a two-year extension reportedly worth $7.75 million to $8.5 million per year.  So rather than floating the idea that he has his eyes on another NFL city, Cowher needs merely to act like he's considering the possibility of packing it in, in order to strike it rich.

"I'm just taking it year to year," Cowher said on Thursday, which will do little to throw water on speculation that he's not planning to match or exceed Chuck Noll's 23 seasons as the head coach of the Steelers.

But if Cowher is simply playing games with the Rooneys, the long-time head coach is pulling out all of the stops.  Per the Post-Gazette, Cowher's youngest daughter, Lindsay, has enrolled in a Raleigh-area high school.  There also have been reports that Cowher's wife and daughter will live in Raleigh, and that Cowher will "commute" during the season -- which as a practical matter means a 36-hour visit during the bye week. 

The other possibility here (and we need to emphasize that it's only a possibility) is that the Cowhers are in the process of separating and/or divorcing.  Again, we're not reporting this or suggesting that we have any information to support it.  But it seems odd to us that Cowher's wife and daughter would load up the truck and move to Carolinny if Cowher is going to stay in Pittsburgh for at least another year.

Our guess?  Unless the team comes up with the kind of money that only a fool would refuse (such as $8 million a year), Cowher will "retire" after the 2006 season, take a year or two off, and then wait for someone else to offer him $8 million a year or more.

And someone surely will.  Redskins coach Joe Gibbs has at most two more seasons left in him, and Dan Snyder would pay Cowher $10 million or more per year if he could get him.

So the ball, as we see it, is in the Rooneys' court.  Absent the kind of contract that the guy who finished No. 2 in 2005 received, the guy who outcoached him soon will be walking away.


FRIDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Lord Faulk?

Lord Favre is adjusting to a new playbook.  ("Where's the page with all the plays where I throw it to the guys who aren't wearing green, yellow, and white?")

DT Dan Wilkinson has visited the Fins.

The Bears have signed two of their second-day draft picks.

The Broncos might bring back TE Wesley Duke at some point in the future.

It looks like Eagles coach Andy Reid and CB Lito Sheppard might be at odds regarding whether he's ready to return to action after a 2005 ankle injury.

Packers LB A.J. "Frightened Turtle" Hawk is wrapping up his school work and could be in Green Bay as soon as Friday.

The guy whom Vikings coach Brad Childress dissed during the draft is going to be helping the team for a little while.

Don't try this at home.

Chargers QB Philip Rivers is aiming high:  "It's a short window that you have an opportunity to win a championship.  And I think that window is now."

Another day, another no-show from two guys who have never lived up to the hype.

Coach Chin's Super Bowl ring needs to be re-sized:  "This is one of those fingers that got caught in a few facemasks," he said.

Dolphins QB Daunte Culpepper might participate in minicamp two-a-days this weekend.

The Seahawks have sold 61,000 season tickets.

The Broncos will blitz less in 2006.

The Vikings have signed DT Ross Kolodziej.


POSTED 9:25 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 9:40 a.m. EDT, June 9, 2006

COLLINS WANTS TOO MUCH COIN

As some league observers wring their hands regarding the ongoing unemployment of quarterback Kerry Collins, a league source tells us that Collins doesn't have a job because he wants too much money.

Collins was cut by the Raiders earlier in the offseason, but has gotten little or no interest in free agency.  At one point, there were reports that he was considering retirement.

Collins was drafted by the Panthers in 1995, and has worn more NFL jerseys than Snoop Dogg.  Though some folks think the Titans might sign him to replace Steve McNair, we don't see it happening.  Instead, look for someone to give Collins a call if/when a starter pops an ACL or breaks a bone in training camp or the preseason.


PICKETT'S DECISION NOT TO PLAY IN EUROPE WILL HAUNT HIM

Last week, the 49ers signed quarterback Shaun Hill, expanding the number of quarterbacks on the roster to five.  Along with Hill, the team has under contract Alex Smith, Trent Dilfer, Jesse Palmer, and Cody Pickett.

Per a league source, the odd man out is and will be Pickett.

And despite what anyone connected to the team might say publicly, we're told that Pickett sealed his fate by declining the team's request that he spend the offseason playing in NFL Europe.

Though more and more young players prefer to stick around in the U.S. in the offseason and participate in the team's voluntary workouts, it's never a good idea to tell the team "no" when the team asks a guy to play in NFL Europe.  Roster spots with pro football teams aren't entitlements, and until a player has proven on the field that he can get it done he needs to be ready and willing to do whatever the team asks him to do.

So it soon will be farewell in San Fran to another guy who was drafted during the Terry Donahue era.


GREEN PULLING A FOLEY?

In our ongoing quest to throw stones from the front porch of our gleaming glass house, a league source has pointed out to us an interesting glitch in the on-line stories penned by former NFL scout Jeremy Green, who now works for Scouts, Inc.

Green's columns, which appear on ESPN.com, contain at the bottom the following statement "Jeremy Green is director of pro scouting for Scouts Inc.  He has been an NFL scout for 11 years, including two as director of pro personnel for the Cleveland Browns."

The only problem?  Green hasn't been an NFL scout for 11 years, if the term "NFL scout" means "scout employed by an NFL team."

Instead, Green spent only seven years working for NFL teams.  He started with the 49ers in 1998 and 1999, and was in Cleveland from 2000 through 2004.

Meanwhile, Green's situation is another example of a phenomenon to which folks gainfully employed by NFL teams object -- a front-office guy who was fired and who couldn't get a subsequent job in the NFL offering opinions and assessments regarding the guys who have shown that they can keep a gig Green couldn't.

And we mean nothing personal against Green in this regard.  If guys who work for NFL teams are going to be held accountable by the so-called "experts," someone needs to hold the so-called "experts" accountable, too.


MORE "EXPERT" INEPTITUDE

While we're on the topic of pointing out problems with the work product of guys who get paid to do this as their primary living, several readers have alerted us to one of the most glaring examples of journalistic incompetence we've ever seen.

In an article posted June 6, 2006 on CBSSportsline.com, senior writer Clark Judge lists 10 things he doesn't like about the NFL.  The last item on Judge's list essentially argues that the times reported by players who run the 40-yard dash in the runup to the draft are grossly embellished.  Here's the full text:

"40-yard dash times:  Talk about exaggerated numbers.  I remember when scouts would tell you they had Deion Sanders and Vance Johnson clocked at 4.19, which was astounding.  It was also impossible.  When Ben Johnson won the 100 meters in the 1988 Olympics -- a race he forfeited when he flunked a drug test -- he finished in 9.79 seconds and scorched the first 50 in 5.56 seconds.  Experts who broke down his race into 10-meter increments estimated he went through the 40 at 4.38 seconds.  Johnson was a notoriously fast starter.  He was in spikes.  He was on a fast track.  And he had a slight tail wind.  Yet NFL scouts would have you believe Deion or The Vance was faster.  Hey, at this year's scouting combine they had tight end Vernon Davis clocked at 4.4, with two estimates of 4.38.  I know he's fast for his size, but let me ask you:  Who wins in a 40 . . .  Ben Johnson or Vernon Davis?  Thank you."

No, thank you.  Because you've just exposed yourself as a complete and total nincompoop.

Clark, go back and re-read your own paragraph.  It's 40 yards.  And 100 meters.

So based on the conversion rate (1.0 meters equal 1.094 yards), Ben Johnson's 40 meter split of 4.38 seconds means that, in 4.38 seconds, he covered 43.76 yards.  At that same rate of speed, Johnson covered 40 yards in an astounding 4.004 seconds.

So how far behind Johnson would Vernon Davis be in the 40 yard dash?  0.3706 seconds.  Which is precisely the same amount of time that should be required by the folks at CBSSportsline.com to decide not to continue Judge's contract when it next comes up for renewal.


STILL MORE EVIDENCE OF OFFSEASON CONTACT

Thanks to the reader who pointed out to us even more evidence of contact occurring in offseason workouts.

The latest source of the proof?  The television network owned and operated by the entity responsible for enforcing the rules.

Approximately 35 minutes into Thursday's edition of Total Access on NFL Network, there are images of line play at the Panthers offseason workouts.  Although the linemen appear to be moving a hair or two slower than game speed, there's definitely contact -- and it definitely looks no different than the images from training camp and in-season practice.  (Except for the fact that the players aren't wearing pads.)

The bottom line?  In light of the video and photographic evidence of offseason contact and the inexplicable failure of the NFLPA to take Bears coach Lovie Smith to task for demoting two starters because they hadn't participated in voluntary sessions, the rules regarding offseason workouts are now completely meaningless.  Whether and to what extent other rules currently on the books also have no teeth remains to be seen.

As we've previously explained, that's the real problem here.   


POSTED 4:28 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 4:54 p.m. EDT, June 8, 2006

NFL TEAMS LOOKING NORTH

As more and more former pro football players look to continue their careers by catching on with CFL teams, we're told that NFL teams are now giving greater consideration to CFL players for potential promotion to the U.S. version of the sport.

Some teams, per a league source, think that it makes more sense to pursue young players with CFL experience.  For starters, the players get plenty of live reps in the CFL.  Also, because of the gross disparity in salary structure, guys who have been making CFL money for a year or two don't quibble with an offer of the one-year minimum salary, which now starts at $275,000.

In contrast, veteran free agents cost more money -- and college free agents are unproven. 

The targets are CFL players who have zero to three years of NFL service.  At four years of NFL service and beyond, the minimum salary increases to the point that there's no benefit to looking at CFL players.


KIRWAN COMES CLEAN, KIND OF

On Wednesday, we pointed out that, while the NFL has changed the rule regarding the cap consequences of trades made after June 1, NFL.com employee Pat Kirwan hadn't gotten the memo. 

Specifically, in an item posted on June 6, Kirwan said that the recent trade of Johnathan Sullivan from the Saints for Bethel Johnson of the Pats would trigger full acceleration of all unallocated bonus amounts.

(We also posted some biting comments from a league insider, who questioned Kirwan's qualifications to criticize guys who are holding the kind of jobs that Kirwan ultimately couldn't.)

On Thursday, Kirwan surprisingly 'fessed up to the error, as the lead item in his latest NFL.com submission:

"The other day, I wrote an article about why trading players will take the place of June 1 cuts. I still believe trades are on the upswing and will continue that way for the next few years because of the growth in the salary cap, but I made a mistake in referencing the old Collective Bargaining Agreement rules about accelerating signing bonuses when trades are made today."

Kirwan then offers up an implicit excuse for his mistake, citing the time-honored "it was like that when I got here" principle:  "For years, when a player was traded, the team trading the player had to pay off the cap charges for an amortized signing bonus at the time of the trade."

On one hand, we respect Kirwan for acknowledging his error.  When ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli finally realized that he'd mistakenly proclaimed that safety Rodney Harrison was a post-June 1 cap cut of the Chargers (which error he possibly lifted from an earlier Kirwan item), the P-man merely "updated" his story and slipped out the bad info. 

On the other hand, we get the feeling that Kirwan was forced into making a public statement acknowledging his mistake.  His tenure with NFL.com, after all, has hardly been stellar.  Two years ago, it was disclosed that he received a portion of the fee paid to agent David Dunn from quarterback Carson Palmer, even though Kirwan's job required him to, among other things, offer supposedly unbiased analysis of draft prospects like Palmer.  The higher Palmer was drafted, the more money Kirwan would stand to make -- yet at no point was the relationship disclosed by Kirwan or the folks at NFL.com.

When the poop hit the fan on the Palmer situation, the NFL.com took no obvious action.  But that's consistent with the NFL's approach to such matters.  No one gets disciplined publicly; instead, the matters are addressed behind closed doors, since the mere act of having to impose discipline on a league employee casts a certain degree of doubt on the quality of the league's overall screening and hiring processes.

Our guess?  Kirwan's mea culpa wasn't his own idea, but no one with the league would ever admit it.

Meanwhile, Kirwan's May 8 article still says that Harrison was a post-June 1 cap cut of the Chargers.


POSTED 9:57 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:55 a.m. EDT, June 8, 2006

MARVIN SHOULD LOOK IN THE MIRROR

On Wednesday, Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said that the recent arrests of receiver Chris Henry and linebacker A.J. Nicholson are an embarrassment to the team.

"I told the people that yes, you embarrass us as an organization, myself and the coaches when these things occur," Lewis said, according to the Associated Press.  "Right, wrong or indifferent, there are certain things that you're asked not to be a part of or around."

Added Lewis:  "That bothers me when someone doesn't quite understand social laws.  No question that bothers me."

Yeah, it bothers him.  Except, of course, on draft day, when Lewis has shown that he doesn't quite understand human nature.  

It's not as if Nicholson and/or Henry woke up on respective recent mornings and decides to turn into turds.  Lewis knew -- or should have known -- what he was getting himself into when he selected Henry in round three of the 2005 draft and Nicholson in round five of the 2006 draft.

Both were taken off of multiple teams' draft boards due to bad reputations and/or a history of misdeeds.  Henry was widely known within and around the West Virginia football program as a talent-rich but character-poor punk.  Ditto for Nicholson, who had more red flags than a Soviet street fair.

So it's you, Marvin, who embarrasses the organization by bringing into it guys who already have shown, on multiple occasions, that they don't "get it."

Meanwhile, Lewis hinted that Henry and Nicholson could ultimately be jettisoned by the team.  "[A]t some point, you have to make a decision whether this guy is good enough for our football team, and decisions can be made that way, as well.  Because if you can't function, then obviously you may not be good enough because I can't count on you."

Technically, teams can't release a player because of an arrest or other off-field conduct.  Instead, discipline for criminal behavior falls within the scope of the Personal Conduct Policy, and only the Commissioner may smack a guy's sack for running afoul of the law.  But if Henry is included in, for example, the final wave of preseason roster cuts, it will be hard for the NFLPA to prove that he was dumped because of his three arrests in less than six months.

As to Nicholson, Lewis would be doing the right thing by dumping his draft rights now.  But our guess is that Lewis fears someone else would make a waiver claim for the guy who was regarded as having first-round talent, and that with yet another "second chance" in a new town Nicholson would finally get his crap together.

So we don't put much stock in Marvin's words.  If he was serious about dealing with these guys, he'd take action.  Especially as to Nicholson. 


McNAIR DEAL CRITICIZED

Multiple league insiders are questioning the wisdom of the decision of the Ravens to ship to Tennessee a fourth-round pick for a quarterback no one else wanted.

Said one source from a team that has been in the market for a quarterback within the past year, "We wouldn't touch [McNair]."  The source said that McNair is regarded as "fragile" and that it was "unbelievable" that the Ravens gave up what they did for him.

Based on reports that the Ravens will give McNair $11 million to sign as part of deal that will extend his contract beyond 2006, another source said that "they have lost their minds."

The other issue here is the timing of the move.  With only six weeks or so to go until the Titans would be required to cut McNair and his $9 million salary in order to sign draft picks like Vince Young and LenDale White, it was only a matter of time before McNair hit the open market.

Then again, getting McNair into camp late gives coach Brian Billick ammunition to argue that he should get yet another year to prove that he can turn the Ravens into an offensive juggernaut, if Baltimore can't nudge past Cincinnati and Pittsburgh in a talent-crowded AFC North in 2006.  The delayed move also sets the stage for potential acrimony between Billick and G.M. Ozzie Newsome, who curiously has escaped criticism for some questionable free agency and draft moves over the past several seasons.  The pissing away of a first-round draft pick on Kyle Boller, for example, routinely is perceived a knock on Billick, not on Newsome.

So if the Ravens can't fly past the Bengals or Steelers this year, we wouldn't be surprised to hear that Billick privately is grousing that the front office made it too hard from him to get his offense together by waiting until June 7 to send a fourth-round pick to Tennessee, when perhaps the same deal (or something close to it) could have been worked out weeks earlier.

Still, even if Billick had four full months to work with McNair before the launch of training camp, we have a feeling that the arrival of the 2003 NFL co-MVP wouldn't make the team much better.  Last time we checked, the Ravens needed a lot of help along the offensive line.  With an aging, brittle, decreasingly mobile quarterback now parked behind the unit, we think that Boller could be back under center by October.

Not because McNair will be benched, but because he'll be broken.


TITANS CAN'T SPLIT CAP HIT

Many readers have asked us whether the trade of quarterback Steve McNair to the Ravens permits the Titans to split the cap charge of more than $14 million into multiple seasons, based on the new post-June 1 rule that insulated the Pats and the Saints from a cap acceleration as part of the Johnathan Sullivan-Bethel Johnson trade.

Short answer:  No.

Now for the long answer.

Earlier this year, the Titans opted not to pay McNair a $50 million option bonus, which would have extended his contract beyond 2006.  By paying instead a $1 million non-exercise fee, the Titans had McNair signed through 2006 only, at a salary of $9 million.

The additional $14 million in 2006 cap room devoted to McNair, which came from payments made in seasons past, would have applied regardless of whether he was or wasn't on the roster this season.  Like any other player in the final year of his contract, there is never a cap acceleration in the current year because there is no looming allocation of bonus money in future seasons.

So even though the Titans created $9 million in cap space by dumping McNair's base salary, they'll still be devoting more than 13.5 percent of their total cap space in 2006 to a guy who won't be playing for them. 


THURSDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

The Ravens have "absolutely" no concerns regarding QB Steve McNair's ability to pass a physical.

The AFL-NFL merger was announced 40 years ago today.

Ravens S Ed Reed didn't participate in practice for a second straight day, and coach Brian Billick claims that his presence on the sidelines is unrelated to his contract, which expires after the season.  

Is it a coincidence that the stick fell out of LB Ray Lewis's ass on the same day that the Ravens added Steve McNair?

The Cardinals claim that they were contacted by the agents for CB Ty Law, not vice-versa.

Though the Pats are believed to be interested in WR Alex Bannister, the team has not yet contacted his agent.

From the "More Evidence Of Offseason Contact" file (which appears in cabinets in neither the NFL nor NFLPA offices), Eagles DE Jevon Kearse of teammate Jerome McDougle:  "He is working so hard, and whenever we go up in drills against each other, that dude is strong."

The Seahawks received rings commemorating the fact that they lost the Super Bowl.

Mark Davis, the son of Raiders owner Al Davis, could eventually end up in control of the team.

The Bengals continue to dance around the apparent fact that LB David Pollack hurt himself while playing basketball.

Bengals QB Carson Palmer hasn't been cleared to participate in team drills.

CB Philip Buchanon gets yet another fresh start.

The Rams have signed DT Jason Fisk to a one-year deal.

Colts MLB Gary Brackett underwent surgery to repair a torn groin muscle.

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger and his mom will be filming a commercial for Chunky Soup.  (Asked Ben, "Who'd want to eat a soup that makes you fat?")

Since when is getting fired and not being able to find another job a "sabbatical"?

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger isn't talking to WPXI-TV in Pittsburgh.  (The folks at KDKA and WTAE are jealous.)

Eagles WR/KR Jeremy Bloom is getting banged up in offseason workouts.

Chiefs G.M. Carl Peterson says he won't get into a bidding war with the Los Angeles Angels for S Jarrad Page.


POSTED 6:03 p.m. EDT, June 7, 2006

MARIO'S CRINGE-INDUCING TOENAIL PROCEDURE ISN'T UNUSUAL

We cringed and grimaced and nearly refunded our mid-afternoon Nutty Bar fix when we read that Texans defensive end Mario Williams has had the nails of both of his big toes surgically removed "after struggling with infections because of problems with his toenails."

"They were bothering him throughout the camp," Texans coach Gary Kubiak told the AP.  "So instead of trying to fight it, they removed them. We're giving him a few days off to make sure it heals properly."

A league source tells us that the procedure isn't as rare as it might seem.  Last year, Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman had the same problem, and other speed rushers have struggled with it as well.

Apparently, offensive linemen trying to deal with the speed of guys like Williams and Merriman end up stepping on their toes.

In Williams' case, the toenails got busted and loose and infected, so team doctors removed them, allowing fresh nails to grow in.

Fine.  Good.  Makes sense to us.  Makes us even more certain that we made the right career choice in avoiding medical school.  But isn't the same thing going to happen again once the new nails grow in?  And why don't Williams and the rest of the linemen wear shoes with sufficiently protection against toes getting crushed and busted and mangled?

Frankly, we'd be concerned about this toenail thing if we'd just signed the guy to a $54 million contract, and at a minimum we'd be making damn sure that the lummoxes on the offensive line quit mashing Mario's tootsies. 


POSTED 4:35 p.m. EDT, June 7, 2006

McNAIR DEAL HINGES ON PHYSICAL

Our report regarding the trade of Tennessee quarterback Steve McNair to the Baltimore Ravens has been confirmed, both by numerous other media outlets and by the teams involved.

Per the Titans, the trade hinges on McNair passing a physical with the Ravens.  "We have granted permission to Baltimore to give Steve McNair a physical," the Titans said in a statement, "which we expect to take place in the next 24 hours. Upon passing a physical, final trade terms will be agreed upon."  An items on the Ravens' web site states that, if McNair passes the physical, the trade will occur.

And for those of you who think that the McNair physical injects one final bit of drama into this offseason odyssey, think again.  If Daunte Culpepper and his three surgically repaired knee ligaments could pass a physical with the Dolphins, McNair and his no obvious physical ailments should do quite nicely when it's time to be poked and prodded. 


POSTED 1:25 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 1:37 p.m. EDT, June 7, 2006

TITANS FINALLY SHIP McNAIR TO BALTIMORE

Profootballtalk.com has learned that the Tennessee Titans finally have reached an agreement with the Baltimore Ravens to trade quarterback Steve McNair, NFL co-MVP in 2003.

The Ravens get McNair, and the Titans get Baltimore's fourth-round pick in 2007.

We received initial word regarding the trade from an anonymous tipster, and we confirmed it by tapping into our ever-growing network of league sources.  We anticipate that, very soon, every other news organization will be running with the story, and we figure no one will mention that it was first reported right here.

But like getting ball deep in a hot bath, we're used to it.

The trade brings to a conclusion weeks of rancor between the Titans and McNair, which have included a decision by the team to bar McNair from the facility, a grievance resulting in a ruling that he can't be barred, and a looming battle regarding the team's failure to comply with the outcome of the arbitration.  

At its core, the fight was about McNair's contract.  The team wasn't going to pay him $9 million in salary in 2006, and McNair wasn't going to reduce his total compensation to $6 million, as the team had requested.

Instead, he'll earn $12 million this year in Baltimore, where he presumably becomes the starting quarterback, relegating former first-rounder Kyle Boller to No. 2 on the depth chart.  The other quarterbacks under contract are Brian St. Pierre and Drew Olson.

Meanwhile, the Titans will carry more than $14 million in dead money this year as a result of past payments made to McNair.  He'll be off of the books in 2007.

The move gives the Titans $9 million in cap room, which will allow them to sign their draft picks and either add some free agents or extend the contracts of some of their younger players.


POSTED 10:39 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:10 p.m. EDT, June 7, 2006

NEW POST-JUNE 1 RULE CONFIRMED

On Tuesday, we cited a league source for the proposition that the recent trade of 2003 first-day draft busts between the Saints and Pats would not trigger the acceleration of any bonus amounts that otherwise would have been allocated to future league years.  The former rule requiring full acceleration of all unallocated bonus money, per the source, has been revised to permit trades occurring after June 1 to be treated in the same manner as contract terminations occurring after June 1.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello has confirmed that the rule has changed.  "The new rule is in effect," Aiello wrote in a Wednesday morning e-mail.  "If the trade occurs after June 1, the assigning club's signing bonus acceleration (if any) is postponed until the first day of the 2007 league year.  The club would continue to bear the cap charge for the current year's prorated signing bonus (this is not considered acceleration) plus any amounts that have already been earned under the 2006 contract."

For example, if a player signed in 2005 a four-year deal with a $4 million signing bonus, a trade of that player after June 1, 2006 would result in a $1 million cap charge for 2006 and a $2 million cap charge in 2007.  Under the old rule, a trade occurring at any time in 2006 would have resulted in a $3 million cap hit in 2006.

Just how obscure is this new rule?  The guys who get paid by the NFL to write about the sport don't even know about it.  

In an item posted by Pat Kirwan of NFL.com on June 6 regarding the Pats-Saints trade, Kirwan states that "[t]rades are considered the same as a termination before June 1, so the Patriots must absorb the remaining bonus now.

Should the guys who get paid by the NFL to write about the sport know about this tweak to the rules?  That's a call that the folks who sign the checks need to make.


ARE THE "EXPERTS" REALLY EXPERTS?  

Regarding Kirwan's failure to know that the rules have changed for trades made after June 1, some league insiders aren't surprised.  After all, Kirwan apparently served as the Typhoid Mary for the notion that Rodney Harrison was a post-June 1 cap cut of the Chargers in 2003.  Kirwan's error ultimately infected publications such as ESPN.com and the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel.

And though we've got no reason to take gratuitous potshots at Kirwan, when league insiders whom we respect sound off on the topic, we're obliged to listen.  

The reality is that Kirwan's NFL tenure isn't something that folks around the league regard with awe and/or dropped jaw.  Indeed, during Kirwan's eight years in various capacities with the Jets, the team was a combined 40-88, which works out to an average record of 5-11.

Prior to joining the Jets, Kirwan worked for the Bucs and the Cardinals, both of whom generally were dreadful at the time.

So is there a connection between a series of gigs with bad NFL organizations and a series of errors committed while working in his subsequent gig as an "expert" commentator?

Maybe.

Regardless, we detect growing resentment from folks who are able to retain gainful employment with NFL teams regarding the fact that guys who couldn't get the job done effectively are now offering opinions regarding the folks who can.

As one league insider has opined regarding Kirwan and others like thim, "These are the people that critique the job that I do. . . .  I don't get how guys that can't do a job in their industry become 'experts' or how they are even sold as credible sources."     

Stay tuned for more along these lines.  In all fairness to Kirwan, he's not the only former NFL exec who is instead offering "expert" analysis of the guys who are doing the jobs that he can no longer get. 


SNOOP DOGG, STEELERS FAN?

We continue to receive all sorts of interesting e-mails in response to our recent string of stories regarding Snoop Dogg's presence in a video containing messages of congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers, which was played at the team's June 4 ring ceremony.

And we're learning that Snoop Dogg is far from a "love him or hate him" personality among NFL fans.  Instead, the reactions we've received fall more along the lines of "hate him or don't give a sh-t about him."

Every league insider from whom we've heard agrees with our assessment that the NFL and its member teams have no business cozying up to this guy.  

Finally, as to the question of whether Mr. Dogg actually is a legitimate, bona fide, long-term fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers, we want every true Steelers fan out there to consider the following photo -- and to let us know whether they think Snoop is merely hopping from the bandwagon of one champ to the next:

 


WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

The Chiefs are still talking to Crazy Joe Davola regarding the possibility of signing him to play tackle.

Pats WR Deion Branch hasn't decided whether he plans to show up for the team's mandatory minicamp next week.

With RB Priest Holmes' availability still up in the air, the Chiefs are looking for a guy to back up Larry Johnson.

Is the root of the problem between the Titans and QB Steve McNair the simmering feud between the Titans and the Ravens?

Ravens S Ed Reed didn't practice on Tuesday, due to the dreaded "undisclosed reason."

The Titans apparently plan to park QB Steve McNair on the sideline during the team's upcoming OTAs.

Pats OL Russ Hochstein has signed a two-year contract extension worth $1.6 million, with a $400,000 signing bonus.

Absent from a current voluntary camp, Pats QB Tom Brady is golfing with Bush 41 and Clinton 69.

Bears RB Thomas Jones and LB Lance Briggs didn't show for Tuesday's voluntary workouts.

From the "Put This Guy In MENSA" file, Bears WR Muhsin Muhammad says that the fact that the team's leading receiver had less than 800 yards receiving in 2005 is evidence that the passing game needs to improve.

Cowboys DE Greg Ellis has heard "rumors" that he might be traded.  (Maybe he can write for us on the side.)

Billy Cundiff has the inside track for the responsibility of missing key field goals for the Packers in 2006.

If Charley Casserly had brought in players like WR Eric Moulds sooner, Rick Smith might still be pushing paper for Coach Kevlar instead of pushing paper for Coach Kubiak.

How can QB Tommy Maddox avoid throwing interceptions?  By taking up a sport in which it's impossible to do so.

The Steelers lead the league in merchandise sales for the first time since the last time they won the Super Bowl.


POSTED 9:45 a.m. EDT, June 7, 2006

DEJA VU FOR PAGE

In April, former UCLA safety Jarrad Page was selected by the Kansas City Chiefs in the seventh round of the NFL draft, as the 228th overall player chosen.

On Tuesday, Page was also drafted by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in California of the United States of America from the Western Hemisphere of the Earth.

Page, a switch-hitting outfielder, was taken by the Angels in the seventh round, as the 222nd overall player chosen.

A league source tells us that Page is undecided as to whether he's going to play football or baseball.  With the signing bonuses generally higher in baseball but the path to the highest level of the sport decidedly longer, the decision won't be an easy one.

As much as we love football, however, a guy who can play both sports at a level high enough to be drafted should give serious thought to choosing baseball.  The long-term physical toll isn't nearly as severe, and a career in baseball can last years longer than a career in pro football.

At a minimum, look for Page to squeeze the best deal possible from both the Chiefs and the Angels before signing on the dotted line with either franchise.  Leverage is a rare commodity for guys whose rights are devoted to one team via a draft; Page is in the unusual situation of being able to tell the Chiefs that he'll play baseball if he doesn't get the right money from K.C., and to tell the Angels that he'll choose football if the baseball contract offered to him isn't sufficiently lucrative.  

Amazingly, the fact that one of the Chiefs' seven draft picks was drafted by an MLB team wasn't even mentioned in Wednesday's Kansas City Star.


POSTED 11:17 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:27 p.m. EDT, June 6, 2006

FARMER HEADS TO K.C.

A league source tells us that the Kansas City Chiefs have hired Ray Farmer as the team's new director of pro personnel.  Farmer previously worked for the Falcons as the assistant director of pro scouting.

The vacancy in Kansas City arose when Bill Kuharich was promoted to the position of V.P. of player personnel.

By rule, the Falcons could have blocked Farmer's departure, unless Farmer's contract had expired.


COOK PRESSING TITANS TO ACT

The agent for Titans quarterback Steve McNair wants the team to poop or get off the pot.

"Keep him under the contract he has, trade him, cut him or start trying to get a new deal done with the starting point being what's on the table from the Ravens," agent Bus Cook said, according to the Associated Press.  "They don't want to do any of those things. . . .  You can't have your cake and eat it, too.

"Steve's certainly done nothing to deserve a pay cut, particularly in light of the fact another team out there is willing to double what they're willing to pay.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure all that out," Cook said.

McNair is scheduled to make $9 million in salary with the Titans in 2006.  The team is willing to pay him $6 million, with $3.5 million coming in the form of a signing bonus.  The Ravens have worked out a contract with McNair that would pay him $12 million this year, but the Ravens and Titans couldn't come to an agreement as to compensation.

With not enough cap room to sign even a rookie free agent, the Titans need to do something in order to be able to sign their draft picks, including quarterback of the future Vince Young.  But since negotiations typically don't begin in earnest until after July 4, the Titans still have four more weeks to sit on their hands, thumbs pointing up.

Most folks presume that the Titans eventually will release McNair, and that he'll promptly sign with the Ravens.


POSTED 5:07 p.m. EDT, June 6, 2006

OWENS GOING OVERBOARD

Word out of Big D is that receiver Terrell Owens is, in the assessment of some of his teammates, going overboard with the "Let's show the coach I'm not an asshole" routine.

Owens' efforts are "almost embarrassing" remarked one league insider familiar with the receiver's behavior at a recent minicamp.

In our view, no amount of butt kissing by Owens will prompt coach Bill Parcells to go any easier on the mercurial wideout once training camp opens.  Parcells will try to press T.O.'s buttons repeatedly -- and if/when Owens shows any frustration, Parcells will push even harder.

The goal, in our assessment, will be to ensure that Owens snaps, if at all, in July or August -- not in November or December.


POSTED 9:40 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:09 p.m. EDT, June 6, 2006

KUHARICH WAS VIKES' FIRST SECOND CHOICE

A league source tells us that the Minnesota Vikings offered the position of V.P. of player personnel to Chiefs V.P. of player personnel Bill Kuharich before an offer was extended to Rick Spielman, who ultimately accepted the job after Fran Foley was fired.

Per the source, Kuharich decided against a lateral move to Minnesota.  We're told that Kuharich enjoys his current situation in Kansas City, and that absent a bump to G.M. he wasn't inclined to leave.

In February, Kuharich was promoted into his current position.  He previously served as V.P. of pro personnel with the Chiefs, and he has worked in the NFL for 20 years.  His father, Joe, was the head coach at Notre Dame from 1959 through 1962.


NINERS CLEARING OUT DONAHUE-ERA PLAYERS 

The San Francisco 49ers gradually are shifting away from players added to the team during Terry Donahue's tenure as G.M., a league source tells us.

The latest example?  We're told that 2005 third-round selection Adam Snyder, an offensive guard, would start in front of 2004 second-rounder Justin Smiley, if the season were to begin today.  

Donahue served as General Manager through 2004.  He was fired on the same day as former coach Dennis Erickson in January 2005.

Smiley is signed through 2007, at salaries of $425,000 and $460,000 over the next two seasons.  His tenuous status in San Fran already is prompting speculation that he might be available via trade.  


PATS, SAINTS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NEW CBA RULE

A league source tells us that Monday's trade between the Saints and Pats takes advantage of a little-known tweak to the CBA that permits the cap hit resulting from trades made after June 1 to be spread over two seasons.

Under the deal, the Saints sent defensive tackle Johnathan Sullivan to the Pats for receiver Bethel Johnson.

Previously, a trade resulted in the immediate acceleration of all unallocated bonus money into the current cap year.  The rule was one of the reasons that player movement via trade had diminished over the past decade.  

But now the cap consequences for a player traded after June 1 are the same as when a player is cut after June 1.

So the Pats will carry the cap charge for 20 percent of Johnson's original signing bonus in 2006, and 20 percent in 2007.  The Saints will account for the cap charge applicable to Sullivan's bonus money in 2006, with all remaining "dead money" from his signing and option bonus counting against the cap in 2007.  Under the old rules, both teams would have seen all of the remaining bonus money apply in 2006.

How obscure is this rule?  We've scoured the CBA extension term sheet, and we don't see it in there anywhere.


SULLIVAN UNDER CONTRACT ONLY THROUGH 2007

Although defensive tackle Johnathan Sullivan was widely regarded as a bust of a top ten pick during his three years with the Saints, he did enough in New Orleans to trigger a provision in his rookie contract that voids the final two years of the deal.

The Saints traded Sullivan to the Pats on Monday, for receiver Bethel Johnson.

A reader raised with us on Monday the possibility that Sullivan has achieved the threshold for scuttling the 2008 and 2009 seasons, which were reported as voidable when Sullivan signed his initial contract.  A league source tells us that, indeed, the triggers were reached.  Under the contract, the final two seasons void if Sullivan has 35 percent playing time in 2003 or 45 percent in 2004, 2005, 2006, or 2007.  Sullivan had more than 35 percent playing time as a rookie.

The end result is that both Sullivan and the guy for whom he was traded, receiver Bethel Johnson, are under contract through 2007.  Sullivan has base salaries of $689,083 and $901,333.  Johnson is due to be paid $500,000 and $546,000.


SNOOP DOGG NOT A JOHNNY COME LIZZLE

On Monday, we took issue with the presence of Snoop Dogg on the Steelers' bandwagon, by virtue of the inclusion of a message from him in a video that was shown to the organization on June 4 in conjunction with the distribution of the team's Super Bowl rings.

But several readers have reminded us that Mr. Dogg is a long-time Steelers fan, dating back at least to (drum roll, please) the 1990s.

One reader pointed out to us that Snoop has even worn Pittsburgh gear in some of his "professional" exploits, including a Steelers jacket in the video for "Let's Get Blown" (which we assume is a featured track on Dan Rooney's iPod).

Regardless of whether Snoop Dogg can claim that he has been following the Steelers for longer than a year, our primary point is that the organization never should associate itself with this guy.  Ever.

It's as if no one realizes that the man known at birth as Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr. has spent plenty of time in jail, and that he was tried for murder.

If the NFL is going to ostracize O.J. Simpson -- who actually played pro football, made it to Canton, and held the single-season rushing record for more than a decade -- because he was accused of and tried for murder after his NFL exploits, why in the hell does the league and its teams let a guy who never previously had any real connection to the game before facing trial on murder charges come sniffing around?

The best thing for the Steelers at this point would be for a team like the Cardinals to finally turn into a winner, in the hopes that Snoop Dogg might find himself a new squad to honor when he's being filmed or photographed doing and saying things that contradict everything the NFL stands for.

   


TUESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

CB Ty Law reportedly is close to signing with the Pats or the Cardinals

Thanks to the reader who sent us this image from Saints minicamp, which shows that even the crappy teams are breaking the rules regarding contact at offseason workouts.

Once Steve McNair is cut or traded by the Titans, only Peyton Manning and Brett Favre will have greater longevity as the starting quarterback with the same team than Donovan McNabb.

A day after denying reports that he was planning to retire, Giants WR Jamaar Taylor has retired.

Giants G.M. Ernie Accorsi says that he has "no problem" with RB Tiki Barber giving Eagles RB Brian Westbrook tips for avoiding injuries.  (But Barber now might needs tips from Westbrook for avoiding injuries from irate local fans.)

We smell a cover up in Green Bay.  (Either that, or Najeh Davenport has been laying cable in someone's closet again.)

Ravens coach Brian Billick denies that there's a rift between him and LB Ray Lewis.  

The Ravens have been using only two quarterbacks in offseason workouts.

Chiefs RB Priest Holmes still wants to play football.

Bears LB Lance Briggs and RB Thomas Jones didn't show for voluntary workouts on Monday.

Panthers WR Steve Smith has already helped rookie CB Richard Marshall improve his play by spotting a problem with Marshall's backpedal.  

The issue regarding QB Steve McNair's physical could cause a butt-ugly situation to get even buttier and uglier.

Former Bills RB Thurman Thomas has a "gut feeling" that the Bills are going to move.

RB Samkon Gado is getting the reps with the Packers' starting offense.

Eagles QB Donovan McNabb, on his accusation that T.O. committed "black-on-black crime" against him:  "I wasn't comparing it to shootings in African-American neighborhoods.  It's not like that.  But in form, it is."

LB A.J. Hawk will be playing weakside linebacker for the Packers.

Regardless of the party line that the Houston Chronicle is spewing, Rick Smith's selection as the G.M. of the Texans reminds us of the story of the ox who is labeled a bull -- while the ox appreciates having the title, he'd far prefer to possess the abilities that go with it.

The guy who goes no-helmet on a motorcycle wants to go no-huddle on the football field.

The Seahawks signed DE Darrell Wright, who just completed a season with NFL Europe.

The Eagles already have decided that QB Matt Nordgren wasn't a starting quarterback in college for a very good reason.

Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck marvels at the attention he received for a minor injury that put him temporarily on crutches:  "There was a time here where we couldn't get the best tackle in the game [Walter Jones] to show up for training camp and no one knew."

From the "Maybe They Won't Cut Me If I Can Do Something Else, Too" file, Eagles C Hank Fraley, who'll battle Jamaal Jackson for the starting job, is working on long snaps, too.


POSTED 5:03 p.m. EDT, June 5, 2006

PATS, SAINTS SWAP UNDERACHIEVERS

The New England Patriots and the New Orleans Saints closed the book on some turd of draft days past on Monday, swapping defensive tackle Johnathan Sullivan for receiver/kick returner Bethel Johnson.

Sullivan was the sixth overall selection in 2003.  Johnson was a second-rounder that same year.

Sullivan has for years remaining on his rookie deal, with salaries of $689,083, $901,333, $1,243,583, and $1,455,829.  Johnson is signed through 2007, at salaries of $500,000 and $546,000.

The Saints sent the No. 17 and No. 18 overall picks to Arizona, and swapped spots in round two, for Sullivan, who at the time was hyped as the next Richard Seymour.  Since then, Sullivan been a complete and total underachiever.  He started in 13 games as a rookie and four through the first two months of the 2004 season.  He then fell off the face of the earth for the rest of 2004.

Johnson likewise has been a bust for the Pats, albeit at a much less pricey investment. 


POSTED 3:01 p.m. EDT, June 5, 2006

McNAIR MUST PASS PHYSICAL

In their latest effort to restrict the number of opportunities for quarterback Steve McNair to suffer a season-ending injury, and thus to avoid liability for his $9 million base salary in 2006, the Titans are taking the position that McNair must pass a physical before being permitted to work out at the team's facility, according to John Clayton of ESPN.com.

Then again, it makes sense for the team to establish a baseline as to his overall condition, in the event that he later claims that he's been hurt while on Titans property.  McNair, per Clayton, failed a physical at the end of the 2005 season.

"They told Steve no one would be available to schedule a physical until Tuesday or Wednesday, so I don't know what is going to happen," said McNair's agent, Bus Cook.

We do.  The Titans will continue to string McNair along in the hopes that a trade will get accomplished.  If he can't be traded, they'll hold onto him until they have to cut him loose prior to training camp, when they'll need the cap money to sign their draft picks.

Last week, McNair won the right to work out at the team's facility.  In April, the Titans sent him home due to concerns that an injury would result in a total cap charge for 2006 of more than $23 million.


POSTED 7:42 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:49 a.m. EDT, June 5, 2006

CAPERS CHAGRINED BY KUBIAK'S SITUATION

In response to the news that Rick Smith will become the new G.M. of the Houston Texans, we're hearing that former Texans coach Dom Capers is lamenting the fact that his successor, Gary Kubiak, got to pick his own personnel guy.

Capers was hired after the team had put in place G.M. Charley Casserly, and Capers (rumor has it) wasn't always thrilled (to say the least) with the guys that Casserly added to the roster.

In our view, it's hard to feel bad for a guy who finished up his fourth season on the job by winning only two games, regardless of whether the G.M. was Casserly or Ron Wolf or Fran Foley.  Capers had four full years to prove his worth, and in the end his performance helped to seal his fate.

Moreover, if Capers didn't like the direction of the personnel department, he should have forced the issue with owner Bob McNair, as more and more coaches have done over the past decade. 

With that said, we can understand why Capers is feeling a little frustrated.  Kubiak is getting far more juice as an unproven commodity than Capers received when he arrived four years ago with a solid and diverse resume.  Capers took the expansion Panthers to the NFC title game in only their second season, and he enjoyed plenty of success as a defensive coordinator before and after his stint in Carolina.  Kubiak has merely been the consistent lieutenant to a control freak in Denver.

Moreover, the appearance that McNair ultimately created in Houston was that Capers alone took the fall for the team's poor performance in its first four years of existence.  Apparently concerned with the possibility that he'd be labeled a buffoon for hiring both Capers and Casserly if he fired both of them at or about the same time, McNair dumped Capers and then carried Casserly through the draft, allowing him to "resign" in a manner that, on the surface, saved face both for the organization and for Casserly.

As far as we can tell, the ruse worked.  Most of the references we now see to Casserly include a statement that he resigned the position of G.M. in order to pursue a job in the league office, which strongly implies that he'd still be the G.M. of the Texans if he really wanted to be.

Folks who follow the league closely know otherwise.  Casserly was definitely out after the draft.  The only remaining question was whether he'd walk before getting run.

So we can understand Capers' situation.  A little bit.  In the end, though, it's hard to feel sorry for a guy who was in a position to improve his situation by better navigating the front-office politics in order to get the players he needed.

Or by winning more games with the ones that he had.


BLING FOR THE 'BURGH

The Steelers got their Super Bowl rings on Sunday, and as usual the process generated a few interesting sound bites.

Linebacker James Harrison was a little disappointed by the gaudy piece of jewelry:  "It's nice, I like it, but I thought it'd be a little more flashy," he said.

Tackle Max Starks disagrees:  "It's a beautiful ring," Starks said. "It's a lot more than I expected."

The ring was designed by Chairman Dan Rooney, with help from Jerome Bettis and Ben Roethlisberger, whose input might have been "Please don't mention on there how badly I played in the game."

Bettis plans to wear his ring from time to time on the set at NBC.  "Oh, I'll definitely wear it.  I don't know how often, but I expect I'll wear it a lot on television.  It gives you instant credibility as you're speaking about the issues.  I've been through all of it, done all of it.  It kind of validates your existence [as a broadcaster]."

Yeah, Jerome.  If you weren't wearing the ring, no one would know that the guy from Detroit who toiled in the NFL for more than a decade and who came back for one more season with the goal of winning the Super Bowl in his hometown of Detroit capped his career by winning the Super Bowl in Detroit, where he'd been reared.  Did we mentioned that Bettis grew up in Detroit?

Why wouldn't Jerome just admit what he's truly thinking, such as:  "I'm the only guy on the set who'll have one of these, so I want to show it off -- and to show that scarecrow Collinsworth who's the boss if he tries to disagree with me?"

But perhaps the most distressing aspect of the media reports regarding the event is that the players were shown a video with congratulations from various former Steelers . . . and from Snoop Dogg.

Snoop Dogg?!?  Jumping on the Steelers bandwagon?  Being permitted by the powers-that-be to put his shriveled up, rat-looking mug on a production containing messages from guys like Franco Harris, Terry Bradshaw, and Mel Blount?

We wonder whether anyone gave Mr. Rooney a briefing on Mr. Dogg's background.   If they had, there's no way he would have been allowed to insinuate himself into a celebration at which he simply doesn't belong.


QUALIFIER COMMITTEE APPARENTLY UNQUALIFIED TO WORK TOGETHER?

Mike Felger of the Boston Herald reports that the NFL committee charged with determining the specific qualifiers for supplemental revenue sharing have opted to hire a consultant to come up a formula for determining the triggers for the Oliver Twists of the league to get their "more".

The committee has retained McKinsey and Company, the organization that devised the revenue sharing plan currently being used by the NBA.

Since the committee hasn't been in existence for very long, our guess is that the members have decided as a preliminary matter that they won't be able to reach an agreement, given the diverging interests of the high-revenue and low-revenue clubs. 

In late April, Commissioner Paul Tagliabue appointed six teams to the eight-member committee, with two from each earnings quartile.  As we reported on April 25, the Texans and Packers represent the eight teams making the most money.  The Brown and Lions represent the second pack of eight.  The Bills and Rams represent the bottom feeders.  At the time, the third quartile's representatives had not been named.

Part of the problem could be the presence of the Bills on the committee.  Owner Ralph Wilson has been highly critical of the new CBA, enlisting the support of politicians and forcing a meeting between Tagliabue, Senator Chuck Schumer, and NBC News bigwig Tim Russert, a "son of Buffalo" and a rabid Bills fan.  Since getting a spot on the qualified committee, Wilson has been quiet. 

Human nature suggests that Wilson surely will try to skew the formula in his favor, and that teams like the Texans will do the same.  Lingering resentment from Wilson's very public attack on the process could make it difficult if not impossible to reach a consensus.

And it's important that everyone is somewhat happy (and/or only somewhat pissed) with the finished product.  The formula needs to be fair to everyone and, more importantly, it needs to be perceived as fair by the 24 teams who aren't involved in the discussions, and who thus might be apt to criticize the efforts of the representatives of their quartiles.

The best way to do it?  Delegate the project to someone who'll gladly take the heat (as long as they get paid) if the Cowboys or the Redskins or the Bengals or the Patriots or any other team doesn't like the end result.

The stakes are about as high as they can get.  Since either the league or the union can pull the plug on the last two years of the new CBA, the multi-pronged mess that unfolded earlier this year -- with the NFL and the NFLPA haggling over the funding of the salary cap while the owners haggled over revenue sharing -- could return as soon as 2009.  If too many teams are too upset with the performance of the supplemental revenue sharing system, it'll be even harder to do a deal the next time around.


MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez wants a new contract before the 2006 season, the final year of his current deal.

More evidence of minicamp contact:  "We still bump heads a little here even though we're in shorts," said Eagles DE Jerome McDougle.

Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck is off of crutches and will be on the field Monday.

There's nothing like an arbitration ruling to induce a little down-home Southern hospitality.

Ravens RB Jamal Lewis has missed three weeks of spring workouts, but is expected to show up on Monday.

The Ravens and S Ed Reed are far apart on talks regarding a contract extension.

Cowboys DE Greg Ellis is willing to try a move linebacker, if the team is willing to give him some financial protections against failure:  "I'm the guinea pig.  If the experiment for the guinea pig doesn't work, they die," Ellis said. "Then they go get another guinea pig and start some new experiments."  

The bar is high for the Bears in 2006.

RT Mike Rosenthal could be done in Minnesota.

The Vikings might not be happy with RB Chester Taylor.

RB Ricky Williams Jr. is talking big for the Bears.

Bears MLB Brian Urlacher is taking up for teammate Lance Briggs, who might not show up Monday for voluntary workouts after attending a mandatory minicamp.

Saints DT Johnathan Sullivan has lost 20 pounds, taking him down to a svelte 328.

Giants WR Jamaar Taylor claims that he hasn't retired.  Yet.

Saints QB Adrian McPherson has switched to No. 1, leaving No. 5 wide open in New Orleans.

Saints WR Donte Stallworth was held out of Saturday's practices for being tardy.

The Eagles are trying to beef up WR/KR Jeremy Bloom's ankles.

Things are going to be downright boring in Philly this summer.

TE Wesley Duke's reward for giving WR Javon Walker No. 84 without a fuss?  He got cut.

T.O. might wear a Heat hat and a Mavs jersey for the NBA Finals.  (But we'll still picture him in a T-shirt that reads, "I'm a d-ckhead.")

From the "Duke and Duke" file, Bill Parcells and Jerry Jones have a bet on how little they can say about T.O. 

Bears WR Mark Bradley (ACL tear) is running pass patterns without a knee brace.

Former NFL RB Rabih Abdullah has been arrested for DUI. ("I'm hoping to get a tryout with the Bengals," he said.)

This just in -- big fat guys are at risk for heart disease.  (Thanks, professor.  Now can you tell me what that glowing round yellow thing in the sky is?)

The Argos cut former NFL LB Lee Woodall.

We might have to follow this CFL thing a little more closely -- last year a player threw a helmet at a fan.

The Whizzinator has made the team in Winnipeg.

Edmonton WR Jayon Tucker got his bell rung and ring bogarted in the same weekend.

The CFL and its players union have reached agreement on a new CBA; player salaries are based on 56 percent of league revenue, with a minimum salary commitment per team of $3 million per year.


POSTED 9:49 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:01 p.m. EDT, June 4, 2006

HENRY COMPLETES THE TURD TRIFECTA

Bengals receiver Chris Henry has been arrested for the third time in less than six months. 

On June 3, Henry was busted in Ohio for driving under the influence.  He also was cited for driving 82 miles per hour in a 65 mph zone. 

The story was first reported by NFL Sirius Radio.  ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli later reported that Henry's blood alcohol concentration was 0.092 percent, which exceeds the Ohio legal limit by 0.012 percent.

"Mr. Henry agreed to the test and he was polite, courteous and cooperative the entire time," Sgt. Kevin Long of the Ohio Highway Patrol told Pasquarelli.  "He was issued a traffic citation and he [eventually] left with a friend.  There was no bail involved and he was issued a court date."

Several readers sent us a link to a portion of the police file.  Per the link, Henry was driving a vehicle manufactured in 1984, only one year after he was born.

Anyone who frequents this site on a regular basis knows what he think of Henry.  The former West Virginia University product, who reminded us at times of a raw Randy Moss, is a complete turd.  But since he performs well between the lines, the Bengals will continue to tolerate his missteps -- until he's behind bars.


TEXANS TAP SMITH

Less than five days after former G.M. Charley Casserly walked out the door for the last time, the team has reached a deal with his replacement -- former Broncos assistant G.M. Rick Smith.

The move had been expected for the past several days.  Although Packers director of pro personnel Reggie McKenzie outperformed Smith (we'd been told) in the first round of interviews, McKenzie's uncharacteristically brash comments to the media following his sit-down very well might have caused the team to re-focus on Smith.  We've heard from numerous sources over the past few months that Houston owner Bob McNair was not pleased with Casserly's propensity to talk too much, and McKenzie's statements hinted that he might not possess the degree of discretion that McNair desires.

Smith will be able to adjust quickly to his role in Houston, given that the team is apparently changing to the same system in Denver, where the head coach has the juice and the G.M. is a glorified paper pusher.  With the Texans, former Broncos offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak is expected to call the shots, with Smith serving as Ten Sundquist to Kubiak's Mike Shanahan.


POSTED 11:16 a.m. EDT, June 4, 2006

SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

It sounds to us like WR Randy Moss is politicking for an eventual gig with the Fins in his comments regarding QB Daunte Culpepper, Randy's former teammate in Minnesota:  "I really want to see him come out and do what he's supposed to do, and hopefully [coach] Nick Saban can get some players around him so he can go out there and do what he needs to do,'' Moss said.

Bengals LB A.J. Nicholson is being held on $16,000 bond, and his first appearance before a judge is on Monday.

The NFL is allowing Jags RB Maurice Drew to put "Jones-Drew" on the back of his jersey, since that's the name that appears on his birth certificate.  (Meanwhile, Mike Ornstein is  in the process of changing Reggie Bush's birth certificate so that his name will be "Number Five".)

Eagles DE Jerome McDougle is taking a page out of Pope John Paul II's playbook.

The Falcons' only kickers as of now are Zac Derr and Tony Yelk.

46-year-old K Morten Andersen is still looking for a gig.

After falling more than 700 yards short of his stated rushing goal for 2005, Cowboys RB Julius Jones is keeping quiet about what he thinks he can do in 2006.

The Tuna wanted to see more from QB Drew Henson during his stint in Europe.

The Dallas base offense includes two tight ends and no fullback.

Dick Vermeil is back in L.A. to celebrate the 30th anniversary of his UCLA team upsetting Ohio State in the Rose Bowl.  (The over-under on the shedding of his first tear is 17 seconds.) 

OL Deuce Lutui is glad to be a Cardinal.

Bears S Mike Brown realizes that people think he's injury prone.

Clearly, the Bears demoted RB Thomas Jones and LB Lance Briggs in order to squeeze them into attending the final waves of voluntary offseason workouts.

In recent reports regarding the status of efforts to hire a new Commissioner, is "insider" code for "white guy"?

The Bears are expecting better performance from their quarterbacks.

Says DT Kris Jenkins of new teammate Maake Kemoeatu:  "I ain't never seen nobody with a head that big in my life."  (Jenkins apparently has never met A.J. Hawk.)

Thomas Davis is and will be a linebacker in Carolina.

Panthers QB Jake Delhomme stays "grounded" by raising race horses.  (And he plays croquet to stay connected with the team's blue-collar fans.)

There's no chance of a return by Tim Couch to Cleveland. 

Browns TE Kellen Winslow hasn't missed a rep in OTAs.

Browns C LeCharles Bentley might wear No. 00 in the offseason.

49ers WR Antonio Bryant plans to tell the Tuna "thank you" when the Niners and Cowboys get together for a preseason game.  (The Tuna's response likely will contain two words, the last of which likely will be "you".)

Bucs coach Jon Gruden broke out the bravado for 32,000-plus fans on Saturday:  "You think Monte Kiffin is afraid of Reggie Bush?  You think this defense is?"

Former Virginia LB Ahmad Brooks will have a pro day workout on June 22.

The early reviews are positive for Jets coach Eric Mangini (but not from the local media).

Jets assistant coach Bryan Cox had his charges doing monkey rolls in the mud.  (Just seeing the phrase "monkey rolls" gives me a migraine, and I haven't done them in decades.)

Eagles RB Brian Westbrook is trying to find out how Giants RB Tiki Barber stays healthy, but Barber isn't returning Brian's calls:  "Tiki's been big-timing me," Westbrook said. "He's been chintzy with his secrets."  (Hmm . . . let's see . . . NFC East . . . Redskins, Cowboys, Eagles, Giants . . . What the f--k does Westbrook expect?)

Redskins' WR David Patten refers to himself as "D.P." (which perhaps means "Drops Passes").

In the coming film "Cheeheads," a Packers fan has a weekend to score season tickets or forever abandon his quest to do so.

How important is participation in voluntary offseason workouts?  Says Packers LB Nick Barnett:  "If you don't know your sh-t by the time we get to training camp, you're going to be in trouble.  You're going to be a hindrance on our team."


POSTED 7:13 a.m. EDT, June 3, 2006

PACK TO IMPLODE IN 2006?

As if the Green Bay Packers' 4-12 season in 2005 wasn't bad enough, the first year under new coach Mike McCarthy is showing early signs of being a potential train wreck.

The evidence?  At a time when the team should be getting up to speed on the new systems that the new staff is putting into place, far too many players who'll be expected to contribute when the season begins are still nowhere to be found.

And McCarthy is coming off like a guy with no juice, telling the media that he doesn't know when guys like cornerback Al Harris, cornerback Charles Woodson, receiver Rod Gardner, and defensive tackle Ryan Pickett will show up for OTAs that run through June 21.

Harris isn't with the team because he's unhappy with his contract -- a fact that prompted McCarthy to take out some of his frustrations recently on Jason Wilde of the Winsconsin State Journal, who had the audacity to, you know, report the reason for Harris' absence.

But Harris is a guy who pre-dates the regime of McCarthy and G.M. Ted Thompson; Woodson and Pickett are guys that Mike and Ted added this offseason.

As one league insider has explained, the absence of Woodson and Pickett is further proof as to why both have been deemed underachievers during their NFL careers.  "They've have never played up to all the hype, and then they go to a new team and are still pieces of sh-t off and on the field," said the source.

We've previously opined that the Pack are capable of winning the NFC North in 2006, and that their effort in 2005 wasn't as pathetic as their 4-12 record would indicate.  But given that NFL teams put in 90 percent of the offense and defense during offseason workouts, we're starting to develop real concerns that the Pack will struggle come September.


SATURDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

QB Jay Cutler's replacement at Vanderbilt is arriving via the NCAA's new transfer rule; former Arizona starter Richard Kovalcheck is enrolled in grad school at Vandy and has two years of eligibility remaining.

CFL Hall of Famer Angelo Mosca will fly the coop when the Argos come to town.

The Commish envisions a Mexican football league (apparently, he's been smoking something that was grown there).

Lord Favre is sticking around for at least another week.

David Climer of the Nashville Tennessean has some advice for the team's new quarterback, based on the Steve McNair mess:  "Take note, Vince Young.  When you're Vince Old, they'll sweep you out the door, too."

QB Drew Brees (shoulder) threw 40 passes during a Friday morning practice.

The Argos poked a little fun at QB Joe Theismann during Friday night's exhibition game.  (For the regular-season home opener, maybe they'll invite L.T. to make an appearance.)

Looks like someone forget to tell Ted Cottrell that Charley Casserly plans to be the NFL's next V.P. of football operations and development.

Steelers LB Joey Porter has finally found a way to look like an idiot without opening his mouth.  (He's the one wearing sunglasses inside the White House.)


POSTED 10:15 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:08 p.m. EDT, June 2, 2006

LIONS LAMBASTED FOR PAYING VERBA

League insiders are laughing their asses off in response to reports that the Detroit Lions gave offensive lineman Ross Verba a $2.2 million signing bonus, a $1.8 million base salary for 2006, and a five-year deal worth up to $20 million in total payments.

Said one high-level league insider, "If any of this is true, they should fire every member of that organization."

Verba regarded in most NFL cities as a complete and total turd.  Besides, who in the hell were the Lions competing with for his services?

In fairness to the Lions, the deal includes a $2.5 million option bonus payable in 2007, which means that the contract might only be worth, in the end, $4 million over one year.  Even then, however, Verba doesn't deserve $4 million for one year of football.

Heck, he doesn't deserve $1 million.  Instead, the Lions should have dangled the one-year veteran minimum salary and told Verba to take it, leave it, or get a better deal elsewhere.


'SKINS EXPECT A FINE ONLY FOR TAYLOR

A league source tells us that the Washington Redskins anticipate that safety Sean Taylor's punishment for violating the league's Personal Conduct Policy will be a fine, not a suspension.  Under the CBA, the Commissioner has the ability to impose discipline on players who engage in off-field criminal conduct. 

Earlier this week, Taylor pleaded no contest to misdemeanor assault and misdemeanor battery as part of a resolution of charges that allowed him to avoid felony counts that carries a maximum of 45 years in prison.

The team, we hear, is 90 percent certain that Taylor won't be suspended. 

We're also told that, even if Taylor is suspended, the Redskins won't try to recover any of the signing bonus money paid to the fifth overall pick in the 2004 draft.


FRIDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Ricky Williams got four carries for seven yards in his CFL debut.

Adam Schein of FOXSports.com makes a great point regarding the Fins' draft in 2001 -- they took CB Jamar Flecther in round one, with QB Drew Brees still on the board.

Suddenly, stuffing money into a mattress doesn't look so bad.

The folks at Iowa have nearly doubled the salary of coach Kirk Ferentz.

T.O. says that he always has played with a chip on his shoulder, and that the chip now has a star on it.

The Colts have signed QB Shaun King, who seven years ago got a Tony Dungy-coached team closer to the Super Bowl than Peyton Manning ever has.

Bears coach Lovie Smith demoted LB Lance Briggs and RB Thomas Jones to second team because they failed to participate in voluntary offseason workouts.  (And if the NFLPA doesn't file a grievance over that one, we'll be glad to represent Briggs, Jones, and any other interested player in a lawsuit against the union for breach of its duty of fair representation.)

The Seahawks have banished WR Alex Bannister, a 2003 Pro Bowler.

The 'Hawks also have put WR Jerheme Urban out to pasture.

The new Commish is likely to be someone who already works in the league office.  (The dude who scrubs the rim under the inside of Paul Tagliabue's toilet interviews for the job next week.)

If the Prez was as funny every day as he was when the Steelers visited the White House on Friday, his approval rating might go as high as 39 percent.

Redskins QB Mark Brunell will miss 2-3 weeks with a broken finger.

Memo to the folks who run Dell Computers -- one of the six questions Vince Young got right the first time he took the Wonderlic was "Would it be a good idea for a major corporation that caters to nerds and other intellectuals to hitch its wagon to a guy who got a six on the Wonderlic?"


POSTED 8:55 a.m. EDT, June 2, 2006

TAYLOR COULD STILL LOSE $9 MILLION

As we explained on Wednesday night after word of Sean Taylor's plea deal broke, the Redskins safety now faces punishment from the league pursuant to the Personal Conduct Policy.

Under the policy, he can be fined, suspended without pay, or banished from the league.

Per the Washington Post, NFL general counsel Dennis Curran has told Taylor's lawyer that similar incidents have resulted in fines, one-game suspensions, and two-game suspensions

As we explained on June 6, 2005, Taylor's contract contains a bonus forfeiture provision that is triggered if "he fails or refuses to practice or play with Club at any time for any reason whatsoever (including, but not limited to, voluntary retirement and incarceration)."

For a default occurring in 2006, Taylor can be required to repay $9.02 million.  So if he's suspended for one game or more in 2006, he necessarily has "fail[ed] . . . to . . . play" in 2006, triggering a default in 2006. 

Although the new CBA drastically limits the extent to which teams may recover signing bonus money moving forward, the new CBA specifically states that forfeiture provisions from contracts entered into before the end of the 2005 will be in full force and effect. 

And although the "term sheet" negotiated by the league and the union in March insulates players with pre-existing forfeiture clauses against the repayment of bonus money covering contract years in which the player already has performed, it appears based on Taylor's total signing and option bonus and the length of his contract that there is still more than $9.02 million in bonus money that he has yet to "earn."

Of course, the Redskins aren't required to pursue the money.  But they won't be on the clock to make a decision until he actually misses a game.  So if between now and September Taylor takes a turn for the turdish, he might just end up with a love note from Dan Snyder asking for a check made payable to the team in the amount of 9 million smackeroos.

By the way, the 'Skins are scheduled to open the season at home against the Vikings at the debut game for ESPN's Monday Night Football.  With the Boys in Bristol paying $1.1 billion a year, we've got a feeling that the league will find a way to let Taylor play.


POSTED 7:58 a.m. EDT, June 2, 2006

SAVAGE HEADING FOR TROUBLE?

At a time when much of the scuttlebutt in and around the Cleveland Browns focuses on speculation that offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon will be dumped at some point in 2006, at least one league insider believes that G.M. Phil Savage's recent misadventures with a microphone could be a sign that, unless Savage makes some changes, he could eventually be joining John Collins as a former employee of the organization.

"They’ve had some controversies during the Savage tenure," opined the source.  "At some point, fingers have to be pointed at him."

As to Savage's recently stated preference for "Christian" football players, the source concluded that Savage "has lost his mind."

"It’s one thing to think something, it’s another to say it and offend a million people," said the source. 

And the source believes that Savage's propensity to speak first and think later contributed to the friction between Savage and Collins, which culminated initially in an effort by Collins to oust Savage but ended with Collins surprisingly getting the boot.

Per the source, "Collins and [owner Randy] Lerner felt that Savage was alienating people in the building with some of his comments, demands, etc. and that caused problems between Savage and Collins."

With all that said, there are plenty of people around the league who have a very high opinion of Savage.  Still, when a guy is in a high-profile position, everything he says and does receives extra scrutiny -- and plenty of folks are waiting to pounce on any gaffe, blunder, or faux pas he commits.

If Savage didn't realize that a week ago, he sure as hell knows it now.


THERE'S PRECEDENT FOR RELEASING DRAFT RIGHTS

Regarding the possibility that the Cincinnati Bengals will relinquish the draft rights to linebacker/catburglar A.J. Nicholson, a reader reminded us on Thursday that there is precedent for such a maneuver

In 1996, the Patriots released the rights to fifth-round defensive tackle Christian Peter, admitting that they'd failed to do their homework on the guy.

"Unfortunately, we did not have information regarding Christian Peter's [criminal] record at the time we made our draft selection," said former director of player personnel Bobby Grier at the time. 

Peter ultimately entered the NFL in 1997, spending four years with the Giants, one with the Colts, and one with the Bears.  Ironically, the Pats reportedly were interested in adding him as a free agent in 2003.


GIANTS USED NEW RULE WITH PETERSON

Howard Balzer of USA Today SportsWeekly tells us that the New York Giants took advantage of the new CBA rule allowing teams to cut one player per year prior to June 1 -- and to then process the move as if it were a post-June 1 cut.

But since cornerback William Peterson was dumped only days before June 1, the move was of little benefit to the player.  As Balzer explained to us, "The intent of the rule is to allow players to get on the market sooner  in order to find a new team, but it's questionable how this helps Peterson since the release came before June 1 and he's apparently not healthy."

To our knowledge, no other team used the new version of the June 1 rule in 2006.  And, frankly, we don't think this rule will ever be utilized on a widespread basis.  Since the guy's salary isn't cleared from the team's current year cap until June 1 anyway, the team realizes no benefit whatsoever (with the exception of not having to pay the guy a modest per diem during the offseason program). 

In fact, the team that puts a player on the market prematurely is risking an eventual P.R. problem.  If he lands with a new team in March and those three extra months of getting acclimated make him even more effective when the real games begin, it will make his old team potentially look stoopid for letting him go.


POSTED 11:15 p.m. EDT, June 1, 2006

MARTZ SUGGESTS THAT JOEY TOOK EASY WAY OUT

Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz took a shot at former starting quarterback Joey Harrington on Thursday, explaining that the third overall pick in the 2002 draft ended up asking out of Motown because he thought it would be "just too hard" to adjust to Martz's offensive system.

"Joey made that decision on his own, and I respect that," Martz said.  "It was such a drastic change from what he had been doing, he felt like it was going to be just too hard for him to do, and I understand that. . . . I was a little surprised by it.  But things happen to work out for the best.  It'll work out for him."

Martz also said that, although the offensive players are still "grossly out of shape," he's seen progress from underachieving wideouts Charles Rogers and Mike Williams.

And, surprisingly, kick returner Eddie Drummond is battling Mike Furrey for the slot receiver role.

"He's working hard, boy," Martz said of Drummond. "That's a guy that is in shape right now.  He can run forever, and that's what you want.  If he just keeps practicing and just eliminates [a mental error here and there], as the preseason comes around, he should be real effective."


DEFENDING PAT?

Earlier on Thursday, we called out two writers from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel for apparently lifting without attribution a major blunder from a recent item written by Len Pasquarelli of ESPN.com regarding the demise of post-June 1 free agency.  Pasquarelli wrote that safety Rodney Harrison was a post-June 1 cap cut of the Chargers, when in fact he was cut in February.

As it turns out, it's possible that Pasquarelli lifted the error from NFL.com's Pat Kirwan, who identified Harrison as a post-June 1 cap cut on May 8.

Apart from the fact that this situation might be no different than a group of high school students passing around the same wrong answer to a test question, how in the hell do guys who do this for a living get such an obvious fact so wrong?

Unless we're 100 percent positive as to a factual assertion (and every once in a while it turns out we're 100 percent positively wrong), we confirm all factual assertions that we make through tools like Google or the CBA or the NFL Record & Fact Book, six volumes of which we have at our fingertips.  And this is a side job, an avocation, a hobby for us.  We simply can't imagine anything less than absolute and total excellence from people who have the luxury of covering the NFL as their only professional pursuit.

With all that said, we've got to give Len a little bit of credit.  In the most recent version of his post-June 1 cuts article, the reference to Harrison has been removed.

But just as soon as he takes a step forward in our eyes, he slides two steps back by referring to Redskins quarterback Jason Campbell as "Justin."


THURSDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Browns owner Randy Lerner wants consistency in 2006.  (But the team has been consistent. . . .  Consistently bad.)

Bears RB Thomas Jones has decided to show up for minicamp.

The Lions aren't likely to bring back WR Az Hakim.

The Eagles are interested in sprinter Justin Gatlin.

The Giants made some transactions with guys we've never heard of.

The Colts have cut WR Roscoe Crosby.

Jags QB David Garrard is hoping to take Fat Albert's job.

Cards RB J.J. Arrington accepts his role as the backup to Edgerrin James (especially if it means that J.J. won't get, you know, hit all the time).

Wethinks Michael Silver is angling for his own briefcase full of money.

The CFL's commissioner plans to make it harder for teams to sign players suspended by the NFL for drug use (after, of course, everyone makes a bunch of money off of the arrival of Ricky Williams in Toronto).

Broncos LB Al Wilson doesn't think that the small stature of DE Elvis Dumervil will diminish his effectiveness.

A special thanks to Colin Cowherd of ESPN Radio for reading with approval from one of our recent stories on the air regarding the growing collection of turds in Cincinnati; maybe next time Cowherd will actually mention that the story originated on our site -- just like he did when he used our story on Bengals receiver Chad Johnson as the launch point for a riff against web sites and blogs.


POSTED 2:52 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:56 p.m. EDT, June 1, 2006

TITANS ARE EXPECTED TO REMAIN STUBBORN

As league insiders debate the various moves that the Tennessee Titans can make in the wake of the arbitration ruling requiring them to allow quarterback Steve McNair to work out at the team's facility, many believe that the Titans will continue to take a bull-headed approach to McNair's status.

They're not expected to cut him unless they get what they want in exchange for his services (reportedly, a fourth-round pick).  But the price that the Baltimore Ravens are willing to pay for McNair surely is decreasing as the offseason workout window begins to close.  Since the Ravens realize that the team eventually will dump McNair and his $9 million salary in order to sign the team's draft picks, they know that they'll eventually get him for nothing. 

Until then, the Titans are handcuffed.  At a mere $100,000 under the league's $102 million salary cap, the Titans don't have enough space to sign anyone.

So what will they do?  One league insider suggested that, if McNair reports to the facility for workouts, the team should provide him with a very simple, injury-proof regimen, since the team's biggest fear is that he'll suffer a season-ending injury on the premises, making his $9 million salary fully guaranteed.  In hindsight, that's what they should have done in the first place, since it's unlikely that McNair would have opted to continue to hang around for voluntary workouts once efforts to trade him materialized.

Regarding the impact of an injury, the magic number is only $9 million, not the $23.46 million that has been suggested elsewhere.  Whether he plays for the Titans or not in 2006, he will cost the team $14.46 million in cap space.  The only issue at this point is whether his $9 million salary gets added to the pile.

There's also a theory making the rounds that McNair's agent, Bus Cook, bears some blame for allowing the situation to get out of hand.  In lieu of a $50 million option bonus that, if paid, would have extended McNair's contract beyond 2006, why didn't Cook press for an early March roster bonus in the amount of $5 million or more, which would have forced the team to either re-do the deal or cut him loose at a time when he could, if released, have enough time to learn his new team's offense.  Likewise, Cook should have realized that filing a grievance regarding the team's refusal to allow him to work out wouldn't mean much of anything at the end of the day, since all McNair won was the right to work out at Baptist Park.

Our guess is that the impasse will continue.  McNair won't reduce his salary, the Ravens won't increase their trade offer, and the Titans won't reduce their demands.  As a result, the Titans will hold onto McNair as long as they possibly can, if for no reason other than to limit the amount of access that the Ravens will have to him before the start of training camp.

But once it's time to sign guys like Vince Young and LenDale White, the Titans' only choice will be to let McNair go.


THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Browns G.M. Phil Savage is concerned about the recent arrest of RB Reuben Droughns.  (The exorcism is scheduled for next week.)  

August 7-9 are the target dates for hiring a new Commissioner, and the current Commish says that he won't be making any recommendations (other than, of course, to tell the owners to "git 'r done").

We didn't realize that wrecking a motorcycle was one of the rehab exercises prescribed for Texans WR Jerome Mathis and his bad foot.

The CFL is coming to OLN.  (Somewhere, Kramer is smiling.)

Technically, Redskins S Sean Taylor is pleading no contest to misdemeanor charges as part of the settlement of his criminal case; the absence of a formal guilty plea, however, does not insulate him from discipline pursuant to the Personal Conduct Policy.

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger apparently realizes that the only difference between him and Neil O'Donnell is that the Seahawks didn't have Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, or Larry Brown on the team.

Although Lord Favre is making an appearance at Packers offseason workouts, 14 key players were missing on Wednesday.

Bengals LB A.J. Nicholson reportedly once lived in the apartment he allegedly burgled, but was kicked out for not paying rent.

Jets WR Wayne Chrebet retired on Wednesday.  (So did Joe Namath.)

After 34 years in coaching, no NFL experience, and two years out of the sport, 64-year-old Pete Jenkins is the Eagles' defensive line coach.

The ultimate positioning of the Lions' linebackers is still a guessing game.

Former Packers LB Bryce Paup is a candidate to join the team's Board of Directors.

Broncos RB Tatum Bell thinks he's ready to be the team's primary tailback.

Moonshine is studying the highlights of a guy who once pretended to shine his moon on a Lambeau goalpost.

Irish coach Charlie Weis is comparing notes with Panthers coach John Fox.


POSTED 11:17 a.m. EDT, June 1, 2006

CORNWELL TEMPTS FATE

Yours truly has been practicing law long enough to know that it's virtually impossible for lawyers to know how any legal matter will ultimately turn out -- especially when the subject is an FBI investigation that is in its infancy.

That's why, whenever we see a lawyer talking tough about a pending proceeding, we begin to fear that the whole thing will blow up in the lawyer's face.

In this regard, lawyer David Cornwell is engaging in a serious flirtation with fate.

Cornwell represents Reggie Bush and his family.  On Wednesday, Cornwell presumably leaked to the AP that the FBI had interviewed him, and that the FBI also wants to talk to Reggie and his parents.

In response, the lawyer for New Era Sports and Entertainment, Brian Watkins, suggested that Cornwell is using personal contacts at the FBI to stir up an inquiry.

Cornwell's reaction?  Per the L.A. Times, "When he does the perp walk, he'll know he was wrong." 

Holy sheepsh-t.

Dave, you're smarter than that.  (We think.)  What the heck are you doing?  What are you thinking?  Are you thinking?  Regardless of how or why the FBI is on the scene, the FBI is on the scene.  It's not the time to be a wise ass or to engage in reckless braggadocio.  That's the very kind of personality type that the feds love to target.

So if Cornwell truly didn't stir up an FBI investigation via his own contacts, then Cornwell shouldn't make any assumptions as to who'll be doing the perp walk.  Instead, Cornwell should be spending all of his time and effort thinking creatively and expansively about every possible problem that might arise for the people whom he has been hired to represent if/when they sit down and talk to federal agents regarding a sordid set of facts that could result in one or more of them facing criminal charges.

Especially if they project the same kind of attitude that Cornwell has displayed.


POSTED 9:00 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 10:40 a.m. EDT, June 1, 2006

TEAMS CHANGING THEIR APPROACH TO OFFSEASON WORKOUTS, SORT OF

We're pleased to announce that our persistent effort to expose the reality that most if not all NFL teams are violating CBA provisions that prohibit contact during minicamps and OTAs has resulted in a decision by many teams to change their ways.

Sort of.

The talk in league circles in response to the photographic and video evidence publicized on this site of contact during offseason workouts is that teams will simply stop posting photos and/or video clips on their web sites containing images that could be regarded as a violation of the CBA.

Umm . . . . hooray?

We'd prefer to see something that actually addresses the problem.  There's a rule on the books that isn't being enforced.  Even worse, the enforcement apparently has been selective, given that the NFL and the NFLPA nailed the Redskins a year ago based on video containing images of linemen engaged in one-on-one drills.

Said tackle Chris Samuels at the time:  "We're locking up, just working our hand placement and technique, but we're not, like, finishing guys or driving guys to the ground."  Per a league source, the team's NFLPA player reps also told the union that the drills were no different than activities in which all other teams engage during the offseason.

So why do the Redskins get nailed in 2005, but not the Chiefs or the Eagles or the Packers or the Seahawks or the Colts in 2006?

In all fairness to the league, we're not saying that there won't be enforcement.  As NFL spokesman Greg Aiello told us on Wednesday, "It is the league’s responsibility to enforce the rules.  We will follow up on any relevant information."  (NFLPA general counsel Richard Berthelsen has not responded to an e-mail that we sent Wednesday morning requesting an opportunity to speak with him or with someone else at the union regarding the issue.)

But if the end result is that there are no investigations or penalties in 2006 based on the ample evidence available via the Internet that something is happening, then something is wrong.  And that's without even taking into consideration the hours and hours of team-generated video that isn't made public.

Should we be surprised if this matter is brushed under the rug, even though the 'Skins got scalped for it last year?  No.  As one league source told us on Wednesday, "You have no idea how many rules are being selectively enforced."

And that's the real problem here.  We're not sprouting gray hairs over million-dollar athletes who are banging bodies without padding.  But when there are rules against such banging that are selectively enforced, the integrity of the entire system is undermined.

We'll let the excellent e-mail we received from Jason in Cleveland finish our point in this regard:

"[W]hen you have a rule that everyone knows is bullsh-t, and everyone knows they have to break in order to hold workouts, it calls into question the validity of all the other rules that are out there.  How can you realistically enforce, say, the drug testing rule when its policies are written into the same document as the offseason contact rules?

"Plus, the Redskins were punished last year for an infraction of these rules; why are some teams punished and other teams not?  Selective enforcement breeds the suspicions of your fans, and ultimately culminates in the attitude that the Super Bowl is fixed and the league is out to get the Raiders."
   

Bottom line, NFL and NFLPA:  Enforce the rule consistently or get rid of it entirely.


SMITH THE FRONT RUNNER (AGAIN) IN HOUSTON

Though the Texans are now keeping their plans for replacing G.M. Charley Casserly under fairly tight wraps, there's talk in league circles that Broncos assistant G.M. Rick Smith is back on the front burner as the presumptive choice for the job.

The thinking is that Packers director of pro personnel Reggie McKenzie did himself no favors (as we suggested last week) by making uncharacteristically brash public comments after he interviewed for the position.  "[Owner Bob] McNair doesn't want another guy who is blabbing to the media like Casserly," said one league insider.

And the word on the recent interview of Saints director of player personnel Rick Mueller is that he won't be hired.  "He's not known as a grinder or a guy who is a leader," said one source.

The grapevine in this regard is supported by a report in Thursday's Houston Chronicle (a/k/a the Texans' unofficial P.R. department).  Per the Chronicle, Smith is returning for a second interview, Mueller isn't, and it's not clear whether McKenzie will be invited back for another look-see.

The team also was considering, but at no point interviewed, Jaguars pro personnel director Charles Bailey, Lions assistant G.M. Martin Mayhew, and Bears director of pro personnel Bobby DePaul.

And there continues to be a school of thought that the owner isn't aiming high enough with his effort to pump up the front office of a team that won only two games in its fourth NFL season.  "If McNair is serious about doing it the right way he needs to clean house, except for [Dan] Ferens."  Ferens is regarded in league circles as a highly competent cap-and-contracts guy, and he is expected to team with coach Gary Kubiak and the new G.M. to form a Minnesota-style Triangle of Authority. 


BUSH BUTT-KISSERS ALREADY ON THE DEFENSIVE

In response to our Wednesday night item regarding the possibility that the feds are sniffing around Reggie Bush and his family in order to determine whether there were payments made that didn't show up as income on anyone's tax returns, some of the Bush backers in the audience have come out swinging.

One reader accuses us of having an "earnest desire to spin things negatively against Bush," and then takes the position that because the FBI and not the IRS is conducting the investigation, there's no way that Bush or his family can ever be charged with tax evasion.

That would be true -- but for the existence of phones, computers, cars, bicycles, telegrams, horses, two cans with a string between them, or any other means by which an FBI agent can communicated information to an IRS agent.

Even though the IRS is the "only federal agency that can investigate potential criminal violations of the Internal Revenue Code," let's not be so naive as to think that the FBI and the IRS don't routinely work in unison.  When someone gets busted for tax evasion, it's often part of a joint FBI-IRS effort that results also in the pursuit of charges related to the manner in which the tax evader got the money that never showed up on his or her 1040.

For example, former 49ers kicker Ray Wersching was indicted on March 22, 2006 for tax evasion and insurance fraud.  Both the FBI and the IRS were involved in the investigation.

Regardless of whether "only" the FBI is involved, the reality here is that the feds have concluded that something dirty might have been done by someone in connection with the Bush-New Era fiasco.  Why else would they be interviewing people?  

One of our readers with experience in matters of this nature has advised us that, if the FBI suspects tax evasion, the FBI will then make a referral to the IRS.  At that point, a field examination will be conducted, which could result in a referral to the agency's Criminal Investigation Division.

Will the IRS even care?  As the reader opined:  "Because Bush is high-profile, the IRS, if there is even a marginal case, will be extremely aggressive in pursuing the case.  The IRS loves high-profile publicity because they almost never lose and it strikes fear into many tax cheats and Federal tax compliance significantly increases for a year or two after a big case."

Still, we don't know at this point if the tax laws were violated.  Our point is that, when the feds show up, everything is on the table -- and any evidence of potential wrongdoing uncovered by one federal agency won't be ignored simply because it doesn't fall within that department's specific jurisdiction.   


DEFENDING LEN?

Most regular readers of this site know that we serve a quasi-watchdog for the NFL print and broadcast media, primarily because no one else really has the time or desire to cover such matters -- and secondarily because it allows us to twist the tail from time to time of guys like ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli.

But we're actually coming to Len's defense today, sort of.  It seems that Rob Reischel and/or Todd Rosiak of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel have relied without attribution upon a portion of Len's recent article regarding the decline of post-June 1 free agency.

On Wednesday, we called Len out for mistakenly suggesting that safety Rodney Harrison was cut by the Chargers after June 1, 2003.  Pasquarelli's quote:  "Players such as standout strong safety Rodney Harrison -- released by San Diego in June 2003 and quickly snapped up by the New England Patriots, whom he helped lead to a Super Bowl title that season -- won't be available."

Writes Reischel and/or Rosiak:  "So don't look for players such as Rodney Harrison -- who helped lead New England to a pair of Super Bowl titles after being cut in 2003 -- to hit the street today."

Again, Harrison was released in February 2003 and signed in early March.

So shame on you guys for borrowing Len's shoddy work product without giving due credit.  He worked hard to screw that one up, and you should have disclosed that you got the info from his article and not from your own failure to know and/or check the facts.