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POSTED 9:12 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 9:29 p.m. EDT, September 30, 2006

UNCLE RICO ERA BEGINS

Jay Glazer of FOX reports that Titans quarterback Vince Young will make his first NFL start on Sunday, at home against the Dallas Cowboys.

Young was the third overall pick in the 2006 draft. The Titans selected Young over 2004 Heisman winner Matt Leinart.

Per Glazer, Titans coach Jeff Fisher had kept the decision under wraps in the hopes that the Cowboys would prepare for Kerry Collins, who started the first three games of the season.

The Titans desperately need a spark in order to reverse an 0-3 start. And given that it's the final year of Fisher's contract, the veteran coach might have never gotten a chance to use Young in 2007 if Fisher doesn't use him now.

Though many league insiders and observers believe that using a young quarterback early can destroy his confidence, we're firm believers in the baptism by fire approach. The game won't begin to slow down for a guy unless and until he gets onto the field, and the Titans will be better sooner if Young starts the learning process now.

KIM ETHEREDGE READS THIS SITE

Welcome, Kim Etheredge. Now that we know you're among our ever-growing throng of readers, maybe with the benefit of our insights and constructive criticisms your publicist gig thing might eventually work out.

Or, you know, maybe it won't.

How do we know that Miss Etheredge is reading the site? We noted earlier this week that the web site pushing her line of hair care products (mixedchicks.net -- not mixedchicks.com) contains a subtle typo on the link to the "Who are we?" page of the site.

The link read "femaleentrepaneurs.html." As anyone who understands the difference between "statue" and "stature" recognizes, however, there's no "a" in entrepreneurs.

And now Miss Etheredge knows it, too, since the link has been changed.

If you don't believe us, check out the title of the page -- it's still spelled wrong.

POSTED 12:37 p.m. EDT, September 30, 2006

JARED ALLEN "SHOULD BE IN JAIL"

A league source with responsibility for screening and selecting college players firmly believes that Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen, arrested twice for DUI this year, should not be walking among the members of a free society.

"The guy should be in jail," said the source.

A fourth round selection of the Chiefs in 2004, Allen was off of many draft boards at that time, per the source.

"Loose cannon," the source added. "Lots of fights, bar incidents . . . . Surprised it's taken him this long to get in trouble."

And due to Allen's reputation for liking to do more at bars than just fight, the source feared that Allen ultimately would "end up in an overturned SUV, bloodied and sauced."

How right the source was. Even though Allen got a free pass for his first DUI of the year, his latest arrest surely violates the terms of the diversion program he entered in July, which requires him not to drink or to violate the law.

And Allen knows it -- why else would he have refused to submit to either a field sobriety test or a breathalyzer exam?

For a full history on Allen, check out this January 2005 article from the Kansas City Star, reprinted on the official athletic site of Idaho State University, where Allen played college football. (Memo to the Potato boys -- he's not someone to be proud of.)

Allen landed at ISU because the University of Washington rescinded its scholarship offer after he was kicked out of high school for stealing yearbooks. It wasn't the only time he got in trouble as a youth.

"I like to fight," Allen told the Star regarding his rap sheet for bar fights. He claims that he "rumbled" almost every weekend. There were issues of violated probation, and questions of whether he assaulted a police officer.

He was on his last straw in college, and he turned it around. Now, he's getting close to pissing it all away again.

You know, if we ever find ourselves on the wrong side of the law, we sure hope we get as many second chances and benefits of the doubt as some of these pro athletes seem to enjoy. We realize that the prisons are overcrowded, but every once in a while it's important to make an example out of someone in order to let the rest of us know that there are consequences for misconduct.

Given his history and his failure to truly learn from past mistakes, we think it's time for Allen to spend a season or two with the Mean Machine.

POSTED 10:41 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:09 p.m. EDT, September 30, 2006

DEA PURSUING OTHER CHARGERS

A league source tells us that the recent arrest of San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel might not have been an isolated incident, and that the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration is still looking into whether other members of the team have been involved in sending prescription medications -- presumably obtained in Mexico -- to purchasers in other locations.

Kiel was sending codeine-rich cough syrup back to his home state of Texas, where the substance is an ingredient in the popular buzz-inducing concoction named "purple drank" or "lean." (As a fellow Simpsons aficionado pointed out to us, why don't they light the thing on fire and call it a "Flaming Moe"?)

Though we don't know who else is being investigated, other Chargers with Texas connections (either by hometown or college) include cornerback Quentin Jammer, receiver Keenan McCardell, running back LaDainian Tomlinson, and running back Derek Farmer. Former Charger Hanik Milligan, who was cut during the preseason and signed with the Cardinals, went to college in Houston.

We seriously doubt that Tomlinson, an elite NFL player who hardly needs the extra money, would be involved in a risky proposition like this. But after the events of the past few weeks there is nothing at all in the NFL that ever will surprise us again.

FREAK'S KNEE IS STILL FUNKED UP

Despite reports originating with the agent for Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse that surgery revealed Kearse's knee to be not as badly injured as previously reported, the Eagles said on Friday that the injury was still significant.

Dr. John Uribe opted not to repair a torn MCL or a torn PCL, because he found evidence that the ligaments were already healing on their own. In contrast, a fully torn ACL cannot and will not heal itself.

And we're told that the only difference between pre-surgery assessments and the observations made by Uribe is that Kearse's LCL was not torn at all; the MRI had shown otherwise.

Despite an assessment from agent Drew Rosenhaus that Kearse has only a 12-to-16-week recovery period, the Eagles say that it's unlikely that Kearse could have made a contribution late in the 2006 season, even if the team hadn't already placed him on IR, which prevents him from playing again this year.

"[W]e're going to take our time getting this right, we're not going to rush him back, we're going to let him heal up, and then go after the rehab hard," trainer Rick Burkholder said.

KORDOZA CLUB UPDATE

Last week, we rolled out the "Kordoza Line." Based on the 70.7 career passer rating of Kordell Stewart, it's the point at which the mediocre are separated from the crappy starting quarterbacks.

Through the first two weeks of the season, the K-Club included Packers quarterback Brett Favre (70.0), Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper (69.2), Cowboys quarterback Drew Bledsoe (68.0), Redskins quarterback Mark Brunell (67.7), Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme (61.5), Browns quarterback Charlie Frye (56.0), Bucs quarterback Chris Simms (40.0), Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (38.7), Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer (38.6), Titans quarterback Kerry Collins (26.9), and Raiders quarterback Andrew Walter (19.0).

Through the third weekend of action, several of the guys have graduated, and Chris Simms has been knocked out due to injury. So here's where they stand as of right now, focusing only on starting quarterbacks: Charlie Frye (68.1), Drew Bledsoe (68.0), Jake Plummer (60.6), Bruce Gradkowski (43.8), Kerry Collins (42.3), Ben Roethlisberger (34.3), Andrew Walter (19.0).

Byron Leftwich narrowly has avoided inclusion on the list with, you guessed it, a passer rating of 70.7.

WEEK FOUR FANTASY PICKS AND PUNKS

Let's take a gander at the guys we like and the guys we don't as we head into the fourth week of the NFL season. Much of the input comes from our pal Paul Charchian of Fanball.com, but every once in a while we throw in one of our own. (And if any of ours end up sucking, we'll just blame it on Charch.)

First up, the guys we like:

Quarterback Chad Pennington, Jets: Colts allow plenty of garbage touchdowns, and Pennington has rebounded well this year.

Quarterback Daunte Culpepper, Dolphins: Any quarterback playing the Texans is a candidate for a big week.

Quarterback Michael Vick, Falcons: Always a risky choice given his lack of passing prowess, Vick likely will rebound from a crappy night in New Orleans with a solid effort, either in the air or on the ground, against the Cardinals.

Running back Reggie Bush, Saints: Because he hasn't scored, plenty of fantasy owners are down on the guy. We're not. We think that the Panthers will take the "we don't have to focus on him to stop him" approach -- and get burned.

Running back Reuben Droughns, Browns: The guy is overdue for a big game, and he's going against a bad Oakland team.

Running back Chester Taylor, Vikings: He gets the touches; sooner or later he'll get the scores.

Receiver Keyshawn Johnson, Panthers: Having Steve Smith back opens things up for Keyshawn.

Receiver Reggie Brown, Eagles: Had a big day last week with Donte' Stallworth out, and faces a soft Packers defense.

And now the guys we'd avoid this week:

Quarterback Kurt Warner, Cardinals: Denny Green has Warner on a shorter leash than his wife does.

Quarterback Philip Rivers, Chargers: Rivers gets a proper welcome to the NFL against a "real" team.

Quarterback Mark Brunell, Redskins: The Jags are not the Texans.

Running back LaDainian Tomlinson: One of the best fantasy guys in the league, but does anyone expect him to run wild against the Ravens?

Receiver Antonio Bryant, 49ers: Don't expect big numbers from Bryant against Ty Law and a tough Chiefs defense.

Cardinals receivers Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin: Their quarterback is struggling, and Falcons corner DeAngelo Hall will face one of them man-to-man and the other one will be doubled.

POSTED 10:24 a.m. EDT, September 30, 2006

LEAGUE ADMITS ERRORS IN NINERS GAME

Through three weeks of the 2006 NFL season, there really haven't been any significant questions regarding officiating. The biggest issues to date have related to a couple of Week One incidents, in which no one noticed the Nicktator's limp-wristed hankie throw, and where no flag was thrown when Chiefs quarterback Trent Green was flattened while attempting a slide.

But, alas, any grace period resulting from those slick new uniforms has expired, because the zebras are working their way back into the crosshairs.

Per Matt Maiocco of the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat, the NFL has acknowledged to the San Francisco 49ers that at least three mistakes were made by officials during last Sunday's loss to the Eagles.

Niners coach Mike Nolan was careful when asked about the information Maocco obtained from an unnamed source, given that the Big Show got himself in Deep Sh-t last year by crowing about the NFL's admission of blown calls during a Thanksgiving weekend win by the Seahawks over the Giants. Some believe that lingering resentment from Mike Holmgren's decision to breach confidentiality influenced some of the bad calls that went against Seattle in the Super Bowl. (We have a feeling that Nolan doesn't have to worry about that happening this year.)

"I got answers back," Nolan said.

Asked what the answers were, Nolan asked 49ers director of public relations Aaron Salkin, "Where should I stand on this?"

"You're not supposed to report on it," Salkin said, reminding Nolan that he could be fined for flapping his gums.

But Nolan was careful to say that the calls that the team disputed from Sunday's loss didn't alter the outcome of the game.

Maiocco surmises that the three calls that the officials got wrong were as follows: (1) the 98-yard fumble return for a touchdown by defensive tackle Mike Patterson, replays of which showed Patterson on the ground with the ball and in contact with a member of the 49ers offense; (2) an illegal pick that was not called on a 60-yard fourth quarter pass to Eagles tight end Matt Schobel; and (3) a 49-yard reception by Antonio Bryant that disappeared when running back Michael Robinson was flagged for an illegal chop block, even though the guy he hit was not engaged with another blocker.

As Maiocco points out, that's a 207-yard swing. (Factoring in the penalty that wasn't called and the one that was, it was a 232-yard difference.)

The calls also might have accounted for a total swing of 21 points in a game that was decided by 14. So even though Nolan was wise not to blame the loss on the officials, those three blown calls might indeed have made a difference.

POSTED 9:15 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:36 p.m. EDT, September 29, 2006

KIEL ADMITS TO COUGH SYRUP CHARGES

From a P.R. standpoint, Chargers safety Terrence Kiel got lucky. Word of his Playmakers-style drug arrest broke on Tuesday night within an hour before the story regarding you-know-who began to dominate the headlines.

Since Tuesday night, Kiel has admitted to shipping codeine-based cough syrup to his home state of Texas. Codeine-based cough syrup is used in conjunction with other drugs, or mixed with soft drinks such as Sprite to make what is known as "purple drank" or "lean."

The DEA is still investigating how Kiel obtained the cough syrup, which is a controlled substance available only by prescription.

Kiel is scheduled to be arraigned on Tuesday. He won't play on Sunday when the Chargers face the Ravens in Baltimore.

Meanwhile, it seems that the Chargers are close to becoming the Bengals West, with a growing list of guys who have been arrested including linebacker Shaun Phillips, linebacker Steve Foley, and Kiel.

"It's killing me," G.M. A.J. Smith recently told the San Diego Union-Tribune.

But at least none of the Chargers are killing anyone. Yet.

MORE ON JOEY SUNSHINE AND THE TURF MONSTER

One thing we keep forgetting to mention is that, based on our discussions of the past week with multiple league insiders, the repeated and continuous insistence of ESPN's Joe Theismann that the new FieldTurf at the Louisiana Superdome needs a year or so to be "broken in" has no basis in fact.

On Monday night, Theismann went on and on about the supposed slipperiness of the surface, given that it's brand new. We think he mentioned it a total of 65 times.

Hogwash, says folks familiar with FieldTurf. It doesn't have a break-in period. And if a guy is slipping on it, it's not a turf issue but a shoe issue.

FRIDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

One win, and Chris Havel is back on the green Kool Aid.

Chiefs DE Jared Allen has been arrested for DUI for the second time this year.

Bills owner Ralph Wilson says no date has been set for determining a revenue sharing formula.

The Ball Coach will be inducted into Florida's Ring of Honor, along with one of his pupils who failed almost as miserably in the NFL as his mentor did.

The Bears have placed WR Airese Currie on IR.

We really don't believe that Bengals WR Chad Johnson doesn't mind being a decoy; before the season he boasted that he'd set the single-season record for receiving touchdowns. (He needs 22 more in 13 games.)

Colts K Adam Vinatieri (groin) practiced Friday and could play on Sunday.

Broncos QB Jake Plummer has settled his road rage case for $76.

If Mike Tirico doesn't want to be bigger than the game he covers, why is he giving so many interviews?

The last time the Colts played the Jets in the Meadowlands, Peyton Manning and company got tattooed to the tune of 41-0.

49ers RB Frank Gore has been upgraded to probable.

Ravens S Ed Reed and LB Terrell Suggs are questionable for Sunday, as is rookie DT Haloti Ngata.

Who is Kim Etheredge? (Who cares?)

POSTED 5:05 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 6:15 p.m. EDT, September 29, 2006

YOU-KNOW-WHO STILL AIN'T RIGHT

In an exclusive interview with Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated, a guy whose saga is of interest to many and of no interest to many more admitted that he is hurt that his former fiancee' hasn't tried to contact him since news broke of his recent medical struggles.

"Her not reaching out to me really hit home," the player said on Friday. "You can tell someone you love them all day long, but for her to not even show up, after all the years we've spent together -- that's not love. It hurts. But I'm glad I know."

The player's former trainer recently told the Dallas Morning News that the player was distraught on Monday night because his fiancee' ended their relationship, and because he couldn't be with his son on the boy's seventh birthday. The player fired his trainer for making the remarks.

The bottom line? We're now even more convinced that Wednesday's press conference was aimed primarily if not exclusively at ensuring that the Cowboys wouldn't conclude that Owens has a non-football illness, which could justify not paying him the balance of his 2006 salary, and that the player could indeed have some unresolved issues that might result in further "accidents" in the future.

Moreover, why in the hell is the player talking about this stuff? His best bet is to shut up and move on.

Then again, shutting up and/or moving on are things that he rarely has ever done.

Then again (again), maybe the most recent "accident" was just an effort to get the former fiancee' to pay attention to him. Along with the rest of us.

FRIDAY EARLY EVENING ONE-LINERS

Panthers DE Al Wallace has been fined $7,500 for the hit that might or might not have popped the spleen of Bucs QB Chris Simms.

Arizona Cardinals CB Antrel Rolle was fined $5,000 for a Week Two horse collar tackle on Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander, which Alexander thinks might have resulted in his broken foot.

Redskins QB Mark Brunell, who missed practice on Wednesday and Thursday due to an elbow injury, is likely to play on Sunday.

Crazy Joe Davola probably won't play on Sunday against the 49ers.

Redskins CB Shawn Springs (abdomen) is out again.

Chiefs QB Trent Green must have had one too many concussions if he thinks anyone will believe that he never had a concussion before Week One.

The probation report generated in connection with the Denny's incident involving Bears CB Ricky Manning would have made for some great dialogue in Playmakers, if you don't mind bleeping.

ESPN's Mike Tirico is patting himself on the back. (For what? Three straight weeks of not falling out of his booster seat?)

Seahawks S Ken Hamlin is the NFC defensive player of the month.

Eagles CB Lito Sheppard is doubtful for Monday night.

Raiders QB Marques Tuiasosopo is preparing to be the backup and running the scout team.

The Raiders have somehow sold out the Black Hole for Sunday.

Jets WR Laveranues Coles is the AFC Offensive Player of the Month.

The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is staying put on the sidelines for the fourth straight game.

Falcons DE John Abraham might miss his third straight game with a groin injury.

Rex Grossman is the first Bears quarterback EVER to be named NFC Offensive Player of the Month.

Bengals LB Rashad Jeanty has been downgraded to doubtful.

Cards RB Edgerrin James wants the ball more.

Former Rams coach Mike Martz won't talk to the media as his new team prepares to face his old team; it'll be the first time the Lions have played in St. Louis since 1980.

POSTED 3:07 p.m. EDT, September 29, 2006

GOOD PROGNOSIS FOR KEARSE

Surgery on the knee of Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse has revealed that there was less damage than expected, according to the Philadelphia Daily News.

Agent Drew Rosenhaus provided the News with details regarding Kearse's medical condition, which but for the decision of Kearse and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, to disclose the information would be private, confidential, and unknown by the media.

Do you see where we're going with this?

Rosenhaus has every reason in the world to get the word out that Kearse didn't have an injury that made his knee look like the remnants of a chicken wing spat out by one of Joey Porter's dogs. Indeed, the report from Jay Glazer of FOX painted a pretty bleak picture, with everything in the knee torn except the ACL.

"This will not affect Jevon's future with the Eagles," Rosenhaus said based on the information he obtained from Dr. John Uribe, who performed the surgery.

We're not suggesting that Drew is embellishing. We're just saying that, in this specific case, disclosure of the medical details (assuming they're accurate) worked to the benefit of his client.

And, thus, in a certain case involving one of his other clients, the fact that neither he nor the client is revealing nor authorizing the release of medical information fairly could be interpreted as a recognition by agent and/or client that disclosure of the diagnosis and treatment (including, for example, whether said client left the hospital against medical advice) will not help his client.

Hey, we pulled that one off without even mentioning the guy's name.

POSTED 9:07 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 10:21 a.m. EDT, September 29, 2006

CUNNINGHAM DISSING DICK

After the Chiefs' Week One loss to the Bengals, new coach Herman Edwards took an implicit dig at his predecessor, Dick Vermeil, suggesting that the "it was like that when I got here" offense was to blame for the team's inability to generate yards or, more importantly, points. Though the "real" media didn't make much of a fuss about it, league insiders noticed it, and were surprised.

We're now hearing that another member of the Chiefs' coaching staff is dissing Dick, albeit less publicly.

We're told that defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham, a former head coach of the team who was brought back by Vermeil, is telling folks that Vermeil held back the performance of the defense, primarily by tinkering with run-stopping strategies. Cunningham, per a league source, is saying that, with Vermeil gone, Cunningham is freed up to do what he wants to do.

With that said, the Chiefs currenly rank 24th in average rushing yards allowed per game. In 2005, they finished seventh in the league against the run. So we're not exactly sure why Cunningham thinks the run defense is better without Vermeil's involvement.

Maybe Cunningham simply likes the fact that his new supervisor isn't doing as much supervising as his old supervisor did, since Cunningham was at one point the supervisor himself.

UPDATE: As further evidence that generalized NFL statistics can be misleading, a reader points out to us that, during Vermeil's final four seasons with the Chiefs, the Broncos averaged 222 yards per game at 6.4 yards per carry when playing Kansas City at home. This year, the Broncos managed only 145 yards rushing and 4.0 yards per carry at Mile High.

OWENS FIRES TRAINER

Perhaps the most telling developments of the past 24 hours regarding the T.O. saga have been the most ignored.

In Thursday's Dallas Morning News, Owens' personal trainer revealed that Owens was distraught on Monday night because he was unable to be with his seven-year-old son on the boy's birthday, and because his fiancee' responded to Owens' request for a "break" in the engagement by breaking up with him.

Per Friday's DMN, Owens reacted to the revelations by firing the trainer.

"He shouldn't have been telling you anything about my personal life anyway," Owens said. "That's where it stops – right there. He should have never said anything remotely involving me or my personal life, especially my son or even my ex-girl.

"He is a victim of what I have fallen victim to over the course of my career," Owens added. "He shouldn't have said anything about my personal life – period. Now I really have to be guarded as far as who I talk to. If I can't trust my own trainer, I can't trust nobody."

In our view, Owens' swift decision to get rid of his trainer supports the notion that Wednesday's dog-and-publicist show was aimed at doing one thing and one thing only -- ensuring that the Cowboys would not have sufficient ammunition to conclude that T.O. has a non-football illness that prevents him from playing, which would have enabled the team to shut him down for the season, and not pay him the balance on five million of his reasons to stay alive.

While the decision of the Dallas police to call the matter an accidental overdose and move on is prompting many to conclude definitively that there was no suicide attempt, the sound bites we heard on SportsCenter last night from the powers-that-be in Big D strongly suggest that the authorities simply opted not to devote resources to a matter which, even if T.O. tried to commit suicide, did not involve a violation of the law by him. Instead, the cops have decided to allow the media to further investigate the matter.

Also, we suspect that the Dallas P.D. received a letter from a lawyer or two threatening litigation if the ultimate conclusion were that Owens tried to end his own life.

As we've previously said, this whole matter can be put to bed if Owens were to simply authorize the hospital and the doctors to produce his records and to explain what happened. Was there an effort to induce vomiting? Was he given liquid charcoal or ipecac? Or was he simply groggy from accidentally taking an extra hydrocodone and/or too many supplements?

Until Owens puts forth the medical information that would confirm his version of the events, we can't conclude with 100 percent certainty that this wasn't a suicide attempt.

As we close the book on this one (we mean it this time), we've got one final thought. Roughly a month before Kurt Cobain of Nirvana shot himself in April 1994, he was rushed to the hospital due to what was described at the time as an accidental drug overdose.

After Cobain died, his wife Courtney Love said that the "accident" had actually been a suicide attempt.

NO MAAS THIS WEEKEND

FOX decided in the offseason that analyst Bill Maas -- who once was regarded by SI's Dr. Z as one of the top announcers in the game -- will have a reduced role this year.

The reduced role begins this weekend, with Maas assigned to none of the six FOX Sunday games.

We feel sort of empty. I mean, without Maas saying dumb stuff like an incomplete pass is a good thing for the offense or that the team that wins the toss in sudden-death overtime should elect to kick off, who'll provide us with comic relief this weekend?

Oh well. We'll just have to wait for Joey Sunshine on Monday night.

POSTED 7:22 p.m. EDT, September 28, 2006

CARDS' NEW SPONSOR IN HOT WATER, AGAIN

Yeah, it was a really good idea for the NFL to hop into bed with an online diploma mill founded by a guy who has tried to have his dead dog cloned.

With the ink still gooey on the 20-year, $154 million deal that will place the name "University of Phoenix" on the Arizona Cardinals' new stadium in Glendale, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has filed suit against the institution for discriminating against non-Mormons.

The EEOC has requested various forms of relief, and also has asked that the matter be certified as a class action.

This latest development reinforces our broader point regarding the arrangement. The University of Phoenix is polarizing and controversial, not the kind of operation with which the image-obsessed NFL would ordinarily associate. While on one hand the marriage potentially legitimizes the sponsor, on the other hand it possibly demeans the product.

Said one league insider in response to the news of the long-term arrangement: "It's funny that they act like they have balls and integrity by walking away from Pink Taco, but then they go and take money from a less reputable source that is considered to be a joke as a brand. Very interesting in a league that is so 'brand' conscious. Once again, proving that the Cardinals are behind the curve at every level."

Meanwhile, there are reports that the Pink Taco moniker still might surface in the NFL, affixed to the Louisiana Superdome.

Per the East Valley Tribune, the folks in New Orleans have approached the Pink Taco peeps, who were spurned in their efforts to secure the naming rights to the Cardinals' new house.

POSTED 4:32 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 5:30 p.m. EDT, September 28, 2006

DALLAS P.D. WANTS APOLOGY FROM T.O.

The president of the Dallas Police Association, an organization representing Dallas police officers, wants an apology from Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens and his publicist, Kim Etheredge. On Wednesday, Etheredge strongly suggested that the police officers who responded to her 911 call on Owens' behalf were either idiots or liars regarding her supposed statement to them that Owens was "depressed" and that she had to physically pry two pills out of his mouth.

"The officers reacted because they were called to this location to do this job. Now they're being put under a microscope by some fancy little football person," Senior Cpl. Glenn White said, according to the Associated Press. "Give me a break. Those officers are 10 times better than this man. We police officers don't go out to these calls and make stuff up."

Ouch.

We really don't like the "10 times better" reference, and it would be very unfortunate if Mr. White and/or the officers who responded to the call are white, because that's the kind of statement that could spawn unnecessary racial tensions in the area.

UPDATE: Glenn White is indeed white. As are the rest of the officers of the Dallas Police Association.

Regardless, no one is better than anyone else. We're all created equal. And we all equally deserve to be called out when we act like lunkheads. But the fact that Terrell Owens (or anyone else in the NFL or the NBA or the NHL or MLB) is a complete jerk doesn't make the rest of us any "better" than him, just as the fact that he makes a truckload of cash doesn't make him any "better" than us.

White's comment, then, was as stoopid as Etheredge's "25 million reasons" line, and we think that the statement renders an already unfortunate situation even more troubling.

With all that said, we continue to be perplexed by the fact that Etheredge basically said that the cops were lying on Wednesday, moments before Owens got back before the cameras and thanked the police. As we said earlier on Thursday, T.O. should have been P.O.'ed that the cops got Etheredge's words so wrong that the guy will now be forever regarded by millions as someone who tried to kill himself, even if he really didn't try to commit suicide.

My gosh, can this get any stranger?

WHERE'S DREW?

A question on the minds of many league insiders and loyal PFT readers in the wake of yesterday's T.O. train wreck is this: How in the hell can we get the last 30 hours of our lives back?

And then there's this: Where in the hell is Drew Rosenhaus?

Rosenhaus is the mega-agent who famously swooped onto the scene in or around May of 2005, when Owens was caught in the shackles of a contract he had "outperformed." Rosenhaus promptly took the cause public. At about the same time, Drew assumed the representation of Packers receiver Javon Walker, doubling his exposure as he tried to finagle new deals (or new teams) for both of his new guys -- and at the same time parlaying the publicity into even more clients.

And Drew was right in the thick of things with T.O., every step of the way. From the "next question" press conference to the all-day arbitration hearing to the "next team" press conference.

This time around, Drew is the invisible man.

Why? We suppose there's a plausible explanation, but until we hear it we'll assume that he's smart enough to realize that it's never a good idea to wrap your arms around a guy who's dancing blindfolded near the edge of a cliff. (Then again, Drew kind of did that very thing we he signed on to represent Owens.)

Bottom line -- Drew knows that nothing good comes out of this for him by attaching his name and face to it. Nothing.

Unless, of course, the theme for next year's Burger King commercials involves "The King's" misadventures with medication aimed at reducing the size of his really big head.

ESPN MOBILE USERS, WE'RE HERE FOR YOU

On the same day that the ESPN family of networks and companies are reveling in record-setting traffic and ratings, all thanks to a football player of great statue, a publicist of questionable intellect, and a bottle of hydrocodone that may or may not have been fully ingested in one sitting, the operation is suffering through the equivalent of its most high-profile failure since, well, ever.

ESPN Mobile, a cell phone and sports updates service that has been relentlessly pimped by the various ESPN television, radio, and Internet properties since it debuted, is going dark. Or silent. Or whatever the appropriate adjective is.

In short, not enough people bought it.

So what should the ESPN Mobile users who'll find themselves without a cell phone with a sports focus do? Easy. Buy a Sprint or Nextel phone featuring NFL Mobile, a free feature that provides highlights, real-time stats, NFL Network content, and more than enough other stuff to help you kill time while in an airplane terminal, mall, restaurant, or church. (We're kidding about that. You probably shouldn't take it into a restaurant. You might get ketchup on it. Church is fine, though. Until they start giving out ketchup.)

And don't forget that Fridays in September are Sprint NFL Fan Days. On September 29, customers in selected areas can obtain a $50 service credit on a voice plan when activating a Sprint phone. Fans also can take advantage of exclusive NFL-themed offers.

Sprint NFL Fan Days are available at Sprint stores, Sprint-branded authorized retailers, and Sprint kiosks in the following markets: all NFL cities; Los Angeles; Columbus, Ohio; Louisville/Lexington, Kentucky; Evansville, Indiana; Youngstown, Ohio; Canton/Akron, Ohio; Providence, Rhode Island; Western Michigan; Northern New Jersey; Central New Jersey; Long Island; Southern and Northern Connecticut.

And in case you didn't notice the ads at the top or side of the page (or the really big Sprint logo next to the PFT), Sprint is a major sponsor of this site, so we've got a self-interest in promoting Sprint products. And since only Sprint has NFL Mobile, we've got a self-interest in using their products, too.

MORE JOEY SUNSHINE IDIOCY

It's good to know that we don't have to wait until Monday nights to bask in the glow of Joey Sunshine's ignoramusness. (We know it's not a word but, consarn it, it should be.)

Thanks to a member of our growing army of loyal fans (we think we're about to the point where we could kick Grenada's ass), there's another huuuuge Joe Theismann blunder for us to make fun of.

In a "Fact or Fiction" segment on ESPN.com regarding whether the Seahawks are still the best team in the NFC, Theismann has this to say:

So since he thinks the Bears are the best team in the NFC, due in part to the absence of Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander, Theismann thinks that the Bears will beat the Alexander-less Seahawks at home on Sunday night, right? Right?

Wrong. On ESPN's weekly expert game selection page, Sunshine (the only one whose picks are up as of this posting) is going with . . . the Seahawks.

Please, Joe. Don't ever change. We don't know what the hell we'd do without you.

POSTED 9:12 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED, 10:48 a.m. EDT, September 28, 2006

T.O.'S TRAINER POINTS TO EMOTIONAL TURMOIL

We know, we know. On Wednesday, we said that we're done with T.O. But rather than pretend on one day that we didn't say what we said the day before (a la Kim Etheredge), we'll admit that we're still fascinated by this whole fiasco.

The newest twist is an item in the Dallas Morning News with some compelling information from T.O.'s trainer regarding his emotional state.

"A lot of things were coming to a head anyway, and then this happened," James "Buddy" Primm said. Primm had been staying with Owens at his Dallas loft until earlier this month, and he plans to return to Dallas from his Georgia home soon.

Primm said that Owens was "distraught" on Monday because he couldn't be with his seven-year-old son (who may or may not be one of the "25 million reasons" for T.O. to stay alive) on the boy's birthday. Primm also said that Owens' fiancee' abruptly cut off their relationship on Monday.

"He said, 'Can I take a break from the engagement?'," Primm said. "And she said, 'No, let's just put a stop to it.' And that was a complete surprise to Terrell."

Though Primm doesn't think Owens tried to commit suicide, Primm believes that the combination of emotional problems and intense physical efforts to speed the healing of his broken finger created a "perfect storm" of events that resulted in whatever the hell it was that happened to put Owens in an emergency room on Tuesday night.

BREAKING IT ALL DOWN

The overall T.O. situation continues to be a fog of confusion and controversy. But let's try to simplify this thing.

The police report, prepared by police officers with no obvious reason to be anything other than objective and truthful, clearly points to a suicide attempt. And we're guessing that the relevant authorities deal with issues like this on a regular basis, and recognize the importance of getting it right -- and the potential consequences of getting it wrong.

But then Owens is released from the hospital within roughly 12 hours, which suggests to the reasonable person (and to us) that he wasn't a threat to himself. And which calls into question whether he ever was.

Then coach Bill Parcells speaks to the media, and seems to not really give a chunky crap about the whole situation, even though Parcells doesn't seem to know whether or not the reports of a suicide attempt are in dispute.

Enter T.O., who seems to be fine. Which seems to be odd. Because even if we weren't depressed the night before to the point of suicide, we'd be distressed to the point of pissed off that the local law enforcement officials ignited a nationwide media firestorm by erroneously reporting that we'd gone cuckoo for hydrocodone in an effort to get cozy in a casket.

In hindsight, that bothers us more than anything else. How in the hell could he be so happy one day after some serious sh-t (whatever the cause) went down, and while yet another F-5 tornado of turmoil was tearing through his life?

"I'm not clinically depressed," we would have said, "but I'm very upset that me and my team have to deal with this crap right now. I've got a seven-year-old son, and I can't believe he's had to hear all day long that his daddy tried to kill himself. I demand a full investigation as to how the police officers who responded to the situation turned Kim's words into flat-out lies."

And that brings us to Miss Etheredge. Despite her denial that she told police Owens was depressed and/or that she had to physically remove pills from his mouth, the report is pretty darn clear to us. There's no reference to the fact that she was incoherent or hysterical, which we suspect the cops see from time to time when responding to situations like this. Indeed, her comments were made not at Owens' loft, when things were likely pretty hectic, but at the hospital, after the situation had begun to come under control.

Other things that piqued our interest (and the interest of our readers) is the suggestion that Owens had taken the pain pills out of the bottle they were in and put them "in a drawer." Owens also said that rumors of his stomach being pumped weren't true, but the report was that vomiting was induced. (They are indeed two different things.)

Based on all of this, we think that if Owens wants to prove that he didn't try to commit suicide, he should authorize the Baylor Medical Center to release all of the records relating to the treatment he received on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. He also should authorize the doctors to meet with the media and talk about what happened.

Until that happens, we're going to believe that Owens and Etheredge are in full-blown damage control mode in an effort to prevent the Cowboys from concluding that maybe there's an issue with the guy that would justify placement of him on the non-football injury list. In fact, we think that Owens' handlers decided to conduct the press conference at the team facility in order to send a clear message that he's still part of the team -- i.e., that he's still getting paid.

If, after all, the team were to justifiably conclude that he has a non-football injury that prevents him from performing, such a decision could wipe out more than four million of his reasons to stay alive.

And that's possibly the tragedy here. In order to avoid losing any of the money that T.O. so thoroughly covets, Owens and his handlers might be deciding to ignore whether there are any deeper issues at work not because acknowledging such problems would be stigmatizing but because doing so could wreak havoc on his financial condition.

WHAT THE HELL IS A SQUIDOO?

We've added a new partner recently. Squidoo.

We're still not quite sure what the hell a Squidoo is, but by clicking the link at the top of the page in the right margin you'll be able to set up -- for the low, low price of nothing -- a personalized pro football Team Page, with a PFT flavor to it.

Here's a sample from some guy who likes the Eagles. (We suspect he'll be adding a "better luck next time" message of condolence to T.O.)

It's like that MySpace thing, which we still don't quite understand because we're old and stuff. You make a page and pump it up with stuff about teams you like, teams you hate, players who puke out of car windows, and whatever else you want to say.

Do it now. It's free. F-R-E-E. Just like this site.

HARMONIZING THURMAN, ROBINSON SITUATIONS

Plenty of readers have asked us how in the world Bengals linebacker Odell Thurman was so swiftly and abruptly suspended for one year for violating the substance abuse policy while Packers receiver Koren Robinson is still playing football despite basically engaging in the same conduct.

Thurman had been serving a four-game suspension for violation of the substance abuse policy. Within days after a DUI arrest, the suspension was extended to a full season.

Robinson served a four-game suspension in 2004, and per published reports he still was in Stage Three of the program. Thus, one more violation of the policy should trigger a one-year banishment. In August, Robinson was arrested for DUI, reckless driving, and felony fleeing after leading police on a lengthy chase at speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour.

As far as we can tell, the difference in the situations arises from the specific restrictions placed on Thurman when his four-game suspension was imposed. There often is negotiation between the league, the NFLPA, and the player when the time comes to impose discipline under the substance abuse policy. Just like a criminal prosecution or any other legal proceeding, it often makes sense to resolve a situation informally. It provides certainty, and it frees up all interested parties to work on and worry about other things.

In this case, our guess is that there was a agreement between Thurman and the league that if he made one more false move his four-game suspension automatically would be extended to a full season. There's simply no other way that it all could have happened so swiftly. The most telling point in this regard, in our view, is that Thurman hasn't been banished for a full year as of Wednesday. Instead, Thurman is getting credit for the three games he already has missed (and the fourth one he would have missed anyway on Sunday) as part of the total 16-game suspension.

We're not saying that Robinson won't ultimately be suspended for a year. The wheels very well might be in motion. But, in Thurman's case, we think that the ball was already on the tee.

Meanwhile, it remains to be seen whether Thurman will be welcome in Cincinnati, if/when he is reinstated to the NFL. His locker has been cleaned out and reassigned, and coach Marvin Lewis says, "We've told him not to be around here."

And it's not as if reinstatement is a lock. Thurman needs to comply with random testing requirements and other aspects of his treatment plan during his banishment. If he fails, the suspension will be extended -- just as it was for running back Onterrio Smith.

HENRY MUST GO?

As to the other guys who were in the car with Odell Thurman on Sunday night (and the arrest video -- in which his Social Security Number inexplicably appeared before it was later removed -- can be seen right here), Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer is calling for Lewis to sit Chris Henry on Sunday as punishment for his role in the incident. We think Lewis should just dump the guy. The problem, however, is that of the various miscreants who currently infest the Cincinnati locker room, Henry is pretty damn good, which surely is prompting Lewis to continue to look the other way.

But here's an intriguing twist. Receiver Chad Johnson made one catch for eleven yards on Sunday against the Steelers. Henry and T.J. Houshmandzadeh each caught two touchdown passes. Johnson was dejected on the sidelines, and quarterback Carson Palmer had to tell him to suck it up. Johnson suggested that he "grew up" during the game because he realized that he doesn't need to be the star for the team to win.

Bull, we say.

Who doesn't think that Johnson is now realizing that poisoning Lewis and/or the locker room against Henry is the best way to get back his catches? And Henry has provided plenty of ammunition for it.

UPDATE: Here's another layer of intrigue. A reader has alerted us to the fact that the guy who is calling for Lewis to bench Henry is the same guy who wrote Chad Johnson's recently-released book. Hmmmm.

POSTED 9:42 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

T.O.'S "PUBLICIST" APPARENTLY HAS ONE CLIENT

One of the questions we're getting from multiple readers in the wake of Wednesday afternoon's train wreck clumsily described as a press conference is this: How hard is Donovan McNabb laughing right now?

The other more pressing question is this: Who in the hell is Kim Etheredge?

Thanks to some information we received from readers, and from a little Internets sleuthing of our own, here's our answer.

We don't really know.

Terrell Owens' "publicist" is, by all appearances, a Tom Hagen of the P.R. world -- a one-client show. We could find nothing linking her to any firm or business providing such services to other athletes or, for that matter, anyone.

But she is a bit of an entrepreneur. Apparently, she is a part owner in a company that specializes in hair products for mixed-race consumers. (She's not, we suspect, a chiropractor in Florida.) On the "Who Are We?" page of the site, the girl on the right looks a lot like the woman who was at the press conference on Wednesday.

(UPDATE: A reader noticed that the link to the "Who Are We?" page is title female "entrepaneurs" [sic]. Said the reader, "I guess they don't have much "statue" in the business.)

It appears that she became Owens' publicist at some point in the summer of 2005, after Owens and agent Drew Rosenhaus embarked on a campaign to get him a new contract in Philly, or a ticket out of town. One of her first tasks was to proclaim that Owens missed a post-practice autograph session in August 2005 "because he was injured."

In June 2006, she claimed that Owens was misquoted when he said that he was misquoted in the book bearing his name.

On Tuesday night, Etheredge was with Owens when he became "groggy" and she called 911.

And her most famous (or infamous) moment came on Wednesday, when she said that Owens "has 25 million reasons why he should stay alive." (As if the rest of us schmoes with far less cash should take no solace in things like our families.)

We also have a feeling that there might be something more than a master-servant arrangement between the two. At one point on Wednesday, Etheredge used the phrase "when he came home from work." That specific choice of words implies, in our opinion, that she lives with Owens.

We won't speculate any further as to the nature of the relationship, but we can't imagine that a guy with 25 million reasons why he should stay alive would retain the services of a "publicist" with no other clients, no apparent P.R. business, and no obvious skills at projecting her "client" to the public in a favorable light.

POSTED 4:53 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

TIME FOR THE T.O. FREAK SHOW TO END

We gave Terrell Owens a clean slate earlier on Wednesday. We're now breaking the thing over our knee.

The guy either has no mental or emotional disorders and is thus simply a congenital asshole, or he is so deep in denial and so insulated by apologists and enablers that he'll never try to get help.

Then there's the third option -- that the suggestion of a suicide attempt was a ruse aimed at generating attention for a guy who has taken a back seat so far this season.

Regardless of how this all happened, we cannot wait until the day that we no longer have to type his name.

And who in the hell is this Kim Etheredge person? "Must be nice to have a 'live-in' publicist," remarked one league insider. "I hope she cooks and cleans for him too."

The source also noted: "Does Kim know his 25 million reasons only exist if he plays and earns every dollar on his 'day-to-day' contract?"

Speaking of his "25 million reasons" to live, another league insider thinks that maybe -- just maybe -- Owens is denying the suicide attempt in order to avoid ultimate placement on the non-football injury list, which would permit the team to not pay him the balance of his $5 million salary. By our calculations, the amount in the balance would be $4.18 million. And then there's his signing bonus, part of which would be vulnerable to forfeiture if it were determined that Owens was unable to practice or play due to intentional conduct.

We also wonder how long coach Bill Parcells will tolerate this stuff. A league insider who heard Parcells' press conference from earlier in the afternoon is convinced that Parcells is fed up with having to deal with the extra crap that having Owens on the team entails. Even if there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything that has transpired, the fact is that, once again, Owens is at the center of a surreal series of events. It's the last thing that any NFL team needs only three weeks into a season, and it very well could literally be the last thing Parcells will put up with from Owens.

And how does the Tuna feel about Owens' "publicist" getting a spot on the podium in front of the backdrop with the Cowboys' star and the Dr. Pepper logos. "It looks to me as though [she] took the opportunity to get some publicity for herself out into the sports community," said the league insider who wondered whether she also cooks and cleans. "There is no other reason for her to be given access to a press conference held at a team facility. . . . I understand she was an eyewitness to the events that transpired, but that is what the media locations outside the facility are for, not the actual team facilities. Those are almost exclusively limited to team personnel, players, in some unique situations their agents, and the media covering events."

Bottom line -- we're done with the guy. It remains to be seen whether the Cowboys have gotten to that point as well.

POSTED 3:43 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 4:56 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

T.O. DENIES SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens said moments ago that he did not attempt suicide on Tuesday. Instead, he claimed that he was groggy due to a mixture of pain pills and "supplements" -- and that the supposed overdose of pills was the result of a misunderstanding. He said that the pills he supposedly took were in a drawer. He said he was "out of it" when talking to others last night regarding his condition.

He opened a 3:35 p.m. EDT press conference by apologizing to the organization for the distraction, and he later said that he plans to play on Sunday.

Owens said he's not depressed, and that he's happy.

After Owens left the podium, Owens' publicist, Kim Etheredge, confirmed that she placed the call to 911, and that Owens was not coherent when he supposedly said "yes" in response to a question as to whether he was trying to harm himself.

Etheredge denies telling police officers that Owens was depressed, and that she took pills out of his mouth. She called the situation an allergic reaction.

"He has 25 million reasons why he should be alive," she proclaimed with a smile before abruptly leaving the podium.

(Note to Kim: Making an implicit reference to the financial value of his current football contract as the primary reason for him to be alive really won't do much to engender positive vibes for your "client." Also, the word is "stature" -- not "statue." Even Kramer knows that.)

UPDATE: We're blessed with an audience full of smart, funny readers. Here's what one of them had to say about Etheredge's "25 million reasons" remark: "Like rich people don't commit suicide. Maybe [Drew] Rosenhaus should have taken the podium. A 'next question' answer would have been less offensive."

POSTED 2:40 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:23 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

TUNA CLUELESS

Cowboys coach Bill Parcells said at a Wednesday afternoon press conference that he doesn't really know anything about the questions swirling around receiver Terrell Owens.

Parcells said that he isn't even aware of Owens' whereabouts, despite the fact that Owens apparently has arrived at the same facility from which Parcells was speaking.

Owens is supposed to address the media at 3:15 p.m. Stay tuned.

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

The Lions have cut WR Corey Bradford.

Baseballer-turned-footballer-turned-couchsitter-turned-footballer Drew Henson has signed with the Vikings practice squad.

CB Hank Poteat is back with the Pats; CB Randall Gay has been placed on IR.

There might be a conflict between the World Series and two of the Raiders' home games. (Where have we heard that before?)

POSTED 1:12 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

DIVINE INTERVENTION FOR ALEXANDER?

Maybe God really does care about sports. Or maybe He simply has Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander on His fantasy team.

Either way, it looks like the Big Referee in the Sky could be hooking up Alexander for Sunday night's game in Chicago, even though Alexander has a broken bone in his foot.

According to Mike Sando of the Tacoma News Tribune, the Almighty might be hitting the pause button on efforts to arrange life-saving miracles so that He can go Ernest Angley on Alexander's hoof.

Per the report, the appendage stopped hurting on Tuesday, and Alexander thinks that he has been healed through prayer.

Look, we mean no disrespect at all to the Entity Who Created Us All. Surely, He exists. Surely, He cares about us.

But we find it hard to fathom that God would pull an abra-cadabra on a broken bone in the foot of a pro athlete in a case where nothing of any real significance depends on it.

Alexander already has had his share of miracles. He's wealthy. He's famous. He's in a position to buy the YMCA building in his hometown and let it go to pot before being forced to clean it up under the threat of fines.

So we tend to think that, if God is going to be giving out any miracles this week, they'll go to folks who might not have already been as fortunate in this life as Alexander.

POSTED 12:29 p.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

T.O. OUT OF HOSPITAL

Well, folks, our clean slate for T.O. is already getting dirty.

There are multiple reports that Owens already has been released from the hospital, and his handlers are suggesting that he was "groggy" when he said "yes" in response to a question from authorities as to whether he was trying to harm himself after an overdose of prescription paid medication.

We've got a bad feeling that, rather than attempting to determine whether there are deeper issues that drove T.O. to swallow those pills (and to generally act like a butthole for the past year or so), the effort will focus on polishing and/or preserving his image.

And if, as some reports are now suggesting, the overdose was the result of a bizarre interaction of medications, etc., we hope that all relevant information regarding this matter will be made available so that the public can decide whether it was an accident, whether it was a grab for attention, or whether Owens might have a deeper problem that, by all appearances, is still being ignored.

POSTED 10:49 a.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

BEST WISHES TO T.O.

We'd never thought we'd say this, but we feel bad for Terrell Owens.

Though there are some out there who believe that T.O.'s reported suicide attempt was a warped, twisted strategy for engendering sympathy from a society that almost unanimously has written him off as a jerk or worse, we believe that if he really did try to end his life there are deeper questions that need to be answered before he ever puts on a football helmet -- or before he even leaves the hospital.

The first order of business should be a complete and thorough psychiatric evaluation, performed by a leading expert in the field. The goal should be to find out exactly what he did and why he did it, and to determine whether he has any mental illness or mood disorder that requires medication and/or treatment.

Clinical depression is still regarded by many as a stigmatizing condition. Thousands suffer with it silently, for fear that they'll be labeled as "crazy" or "lazy" by friends, coworkers, and family members. But maybe some of the bizarre behaviors we've seen from Owens over the past few years were the manifestation of an actual defect in his mind that, like a broken finger or a torn ligament, needs proper care in order to heal.

We're not saying that Owens is or isn't suffering from any form of mental or emotional illness. We're saying that he needs to be checked out thoroughly -- and that those close to him need to fully support him in this regard, including his family, his head coach, his teammates, and his agent.

If his suicide attempt (and some, most, or all of his other conduct over the past year or so) was the result of a condition that can be treated and cured, then he'll be a better man for it moving forward.

Also, if he does suffer from clinical depression or some other mental illness (and again we're not saying that he does), he has an excellent opportunity to help strip away the stigma, and to persuade others who have not received treatment to explore the possibility that some of the challenges in their lives might be the result of issues beyond their control.

Of course, there always will be cynics and skeptics. And we usually are carrying the flag. In this case, however, we're going to give Owens a clean slate.

But we're also going to pay close attention to how the situation is handled moving forward. In the end, we might conclude that he doesn't deserve our sympathy. For now, though, we think he does.

Finally, AOL's Jamie Mottram raised a great question during a brief chat we had with him on a special edition of Sports Blogger Live not long after the story broke. If Owens has a deeper problem, should the fans or the media feel guilty for compounding the situation by scrutinizing and criticizing him?

The answer, in our view, is a resounding no. Pro athletes voluntarily assume a very visible and public position in our culture. Many of them say and do stupid, selfish, and/or irresponsible things. There is no obligation on the part of the media or the fans to attempt to distinguish players who are simply jerks from those whose actions are the result of health problems.

It is, we believe, the responsibility of the persons who are making a dollar (or, as the case may be, thousands and/or millions of them) from the pro athlete's skills and performance to monitor whether the situation is more serious than the guy simply being a buffoon. Coaches, owners, agents, general managers, etc. are in the best position to spot a potential issue, and to deal with it. For the same reason that medical care is sought and received when a possible physical problem arises, these persons should be ready and willing to encourage the player to seek and receive medical care when a mental or emotional problem arises.

Until that happens, the media and the fans are entitled to presume that the player is merely a jerk. After it happens, we all have an obligation to consider the situation very carefully before making any further judgments.

POSTED 9:37 a.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

T.O. TRIED SUICIDE

Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens was hospitalized on Tuesday night not due to an allergic reaction to medication, but because he tried to commit suicide.

Several media outlets are reporting the news. According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, a Dallas police report says that Owens "ingested a large amount of prescription medication." The report also states that, when police asked Owens if he attempted to harm himself, he said yes.

UPDATE: Here's a link to the police report, courtesy of the SmokingGun.

Wow. Don't know what else to say about this one for now.

POSTED 9:11 a.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

KURT HAD A CONCUSSION?

We're hearing that some members of the Arizona Cardinals believed during Sunday's game against the Rams that quarterback Kurt Warner was suffering from an undiagnosed concussion.

Three years ago, Warner was hospitalized with a concussion after a season-opening loss to the New York Giants.

The situation again gives rise to the question of whether and to what extent the training and medical staff are able and/or willing to yank a guy who might or might not be fit to play.

It's not clear whether Warner's performance on Sunday, including three interceptions and a game-clinching fumble, was affected by a return case of bumpus-on-the-nogginus, but if he got Quasimodoed (or, for that matter, Fullymodoed) and stayed in the game we can understand his struggles. Still, and as we discussed with Todd Wright of Sporting News Radio on Tuesday night, Warner's overall level of play -- whether due to injury, age, or ineffectiveness -- dipped markedly in 2002, and he has hovered in the good-but-not-great category ever since.

And perhaps it's the belief that Warner got his brain banged up on Sunday that prompted coach Dennis Green to keep him in the starting lineup. Based on things we've picked up behind the scenes, it's pretty clear to us that Green did initially plan to bench Warner and insert Matt Leinart into the starting lineup on Sunday at Atlanta, but that Green thereafter changed his mind.

Maybe Green merely wanted to light a fire under Warner. Or maybe Green realized that once he goes with Leinart it will be difficult to go back to Warner. Either way, a loss on Sunday to the Falcons will drop one of this season's "it" teams to 1-3, which might force Green to use Leinart now . . . or risk not being the guy who gets to use him in 2007.

MANNING FACING A SUSPENSION?

A league source with knowledge of the Ricky Manning Jr. situation in Chicago suspects that Manning could be suspended for "a couple of games" following his no contest plea to felony assault charges on Tuesday. The suspension would be imposed by the Commissioner pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy.

Manning must fulfill three years of probation, 100 hours of community service, and 52 weeks of anger management in connection with an April incident at a Westwood Denny's, in which a man working on a computer was allegedly taunted and then attacked by Manning and others. The victim, Soroush Sabzi, filed a lawsuit against Manning and others in May 2006 for injuries sustained in the fracas.

Said Bears G.M. Jerry Angelo on Tuesday: "We are disappointed in Ricky's involvement in the incident that occurred this past April. Situations like these are embarrassing to our football team and create unnecessary distractions. We will continue to follow the NFL's personal conduct policy, which retains jurisdiction on this issue."

Despite the no-contest plea, Manning's agent suggests that Manning wasn't the real culprit. "Ricky Manning is not the person who beat this individual, who punched this individual and caused injuries," said James Ivler. "The district attorney acknowledged this in open court, which is why probation was accepted by the judge in a felony assault charge. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but if there [was] a trial, there [was] the chance of missing time, and if something crazy happens, he's going to jail. Ricky was there, there was an altercation and a physical touching. He put himself in a bad situation."

We're not so sure we buy that one. Innocent men don't often confess guilt, especially with a justice system that would prefer to let 10 guilty men go free than to put one innocent man away.

The fact that Manning already was on probation for a May 2002 assault charge converted what otherwise would have been a misdemeanor charge to a felony. Although the news reports in this regard aren't clear, Manning apparently won't face incarceration for violation of his prior probation. If, however, he violates his latest probation or commits any criminal offenses, he'll be signing a four-year contract with the Mean Machine, where the roster bonus is a box of Soap-on-a-Roap.

Manning signed an offer sheet with the Chicago Bears only a day or so before the arrest. The Panthers did not match the terms of the deal, and received a third-round draft pick as compensation for the departure of the restricted free agent.

Also implicated in the incident was Jaguars running back Maurice Jones-Drew. Charges against him, however, were later dropped.

For all the fantasy football effects of today's NFL news, check out the PFT Fantasy Mill.

POSTED 12:25 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:27 a.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

T.O. HOSPITALIZED

More information is coming out regarding the status of Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens. ESPN is now airing basic information regarding a report out of Texas that Owens has been hospitalized for undisclosed reasons, and there's an AP story regarding the situation.

Meanwhile, CBS-TV 11 in Dallas has a story on its site regarding the situation.

Here's another link on the matter. Owens might have had an adverse reaction to medication that he is taking following last week's surgery.

(Editor's note: Here's our list of the five possible reasons for the hospitalization, which apparently included an effort to induce vomiting: (5) bit by fire ant while doing sit-ups in his driveway; (4) saw a picture of Bill Parcells without his shirt on; (3) bad black-and-white cookie from Schnitzer's Bakery; (2) spent the bye week finally reading his book; and (1) "Dear Terrell, I'd like to put our past problems behind us. Please accept this spinach salad as a peace offering. Love, Donovan.")

POSTED 12:00 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:17 a.m. EDT, September 27, 2006

SOMETHING'S UP WITH T.O.?

There are unsubstantiated Internet swirlings of a report from CBS-TV 11 in Dallas regarding the health of Terrell Owens.

This information is uncorroborated, but it appears on a least one message board and was e-mailed to us minutes ago.

Here's the quote: "Just reported on CBS 11 news in Dallas that T.O. was taken to Baylor Medical Center in Dallas. They said that doctors are trying to induce vomiting. They also said a Dallas Police Public Relations officer was headed over there to take care of what they called a 'high profile' case. They had no more details than that. No link as of yet either."

Again, this is all uncorroborated right now. We're checking it out. There is nothing on the CBS 11 web site about it, and we are searching elsewhere for more information. Here's the link to the message board.

Owens had surgery last week to repair a broken finger. His recovery has been progressing normally.

CHARGERS' SAFETY CHARGED

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Chargers starting safety Terrence Kiel has been arrested on drug charges.

Kiel was charged with possession, possession for sale, and transportation of a controlled substance, per the report.

DEA agents arrived at the team's practice facility on Tuesday with an arrest warrant for Kiel. The authorities then searched Kiel and his car, and took him away. He was later released on $150,000 bond.

And, once again, Playmakers was a grossly unrealistic depiction of real life in the NFL.

EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Notwithstanding the above, coach Bill Parcells said on Tuesday that Cowboys WR Terrell Owens (finger) will practice on Wednesday.

Former Raiders WR Tim Brown says that the team's current offense was outdated when the team was using it in the 1990s.

The Chargers have placed TE Aaron Shea on IR.

Vikings WR Marcus Robinson was a healthy scratch on Sunday.

The reaction of Cardinals' fans to the new stadium name has been mixed.

Vikings TE Jermaine Wiggins is getting a lot less action of late.

Fins DT Keith Traylor has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges, and will likely face some type of consequence pursuant to the Personal Conduct Policy.

POSTED 10:57 p.m. EDT, September 26, 2006

CARDS NOW LINKED TO MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION

Perhaps it's fitting, given the number of pro football players who unwind (either once in a blue moon or more frequently) by puffing on a doobie. But our guess is that it's just the latest example of a boneheaded business decision made by a franchise that has done little right during its long existence.

Multiple readers have apprised us that John Sperling, the founder of the University of Phoenix, is a major proponent of the legalization of marijuana. (Google "John Sperling" and "marijuana," and you'll see what we mean.) His company will pay $154 million over the next 20 years for the right to slap its name on the Arizona Cardinals' new stadium.

Sperling is still the Chairman of the Board of Apollo Group, Inc., the publicly-traded parent company of the University of Phoenix. Sperling also once funded a project to clone his dead dog, and he actively supports many liberal causes.

So, in addition to the fact that the Cards' decision could alienate the "real" universities that provide the NFL with a free farm system by legitimizing the University of Phoenix, the relationship gives the team (and, in turn, the image-obsessed league) a direct link to a for-profit company whose profits have been used for the spearheading of efforts to decriminalize marijuana use.

POSTED 8:15 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 9:49 p.m. EDT, September 26, 2006

NO PINK TACOS, AFTER ALL

Weeks after spurning an offer from the Pink Taco restaurant chain to slap its name on their new stadium, the Arizona Cardinals have sold the naming rights to their new digs for a whopping $154 million over 20 years to the University of Phoenix.

The deal has an average value of $7.7 million per year.

The "University" has 323,000 students, most of whom get their education over the Internet. It has no football team.

Frankly, we can't understand why the Cardinals turned up their beaks at the interest displayed by Pink Taco, but then jumped into bed with a company at which most college grads turn up their noses. Experts have characterized the school as having a "poor academic reputation," and have observed that the criticism of the University of Phoenix by traditional institutions has been "relentless."

In 2004, the University of Phoenix paid $9.8 million to resolve U.S. Department of Education allegations that the school threatened and intimidated its recruitment staff, pressuring employees to enroll unqualified students and taking steps to cover up the alleged misdeeds.

Apart from the stigma attached in some circles to the "University of Phoenix" moniker, we wonder whether the Cardinals (and the NFL, for that matter) considered the potential impact of the arrangement on the league's ever-tenuous relationship with the NCAA institutions from which pro football harvests talent. The NFL and its franchises usually bend over backwards to keep the "real" colleges happy; now, one of the 32 teams is allowing the scourge of the bricks-and-mortar institutions to gain instant national credibility.

The irony here is that the truly legitimate and credible business, Pink Taco, was rejected without negotiation presumably because the Cardinals deemed the name of the company to be undesirable. So instead the Cardinals hopped into bed with a business bearing a more vanilla moniker -- but that could do far more harm to the broader interests of the league than the "Pink Taco" label ever could.

HENRY SHOULD BE FINED FOR SUNDAY'S ACTIONS

At a time when the "real" media is beginning to pick up on our suggestion that Chris Henry's drunken display in the wee hours of Sunday morning (which included puking out of the window of an SUV in the presence of a police officer) could violate the terms of one or both of the probation orders entered against him in connection with past guilty pleas, we think that Henry's more immediate concern should be whether and to what the extent the league penalizes him for his conduct from Sunday afternoon during a sideline confrontation with Steelers cornerback Ike Taylor.

A reader told us on Sunday that Henry can be seen and heard pushing an official away from him and saying "get the f--k off me, cuz." We don't know about the "cuz" part, but the replay of the game on the league's in-house television network shows Henry pushing the official away and plainly saying "get the f--k off me."

Henry wasn't looking directly at the official when he said it, and the official seemed to be more interested in retrieving his hat than in recognizing the possibility that Henry had given him a mild shove and/or told him "get the f--k off me." So there was no flag.

Given that the new Commish, Roger Goodell, is likely stewing (and rightfully so) regarding the post-game incident involving Henry, linebacker Odell Thurman, and receiver Reggie McNeal, which happened only days after Goodell lectured the team on the importance of recognizing that it's a privilege to play in the NFL, we think that the league office should hit Henry hard where it hurts for verbal abuse of and physical contact with a game official.

And Henry definitely deserves it. Despite four arrests and two guilty pleas to criminal charges, Henry has suffered no known consequence for any of his misconduct, other than a disciplinary deactivation that came in December 2005, after he was charged with marijuana possession.

NEW TEN-PACK IS UP

Another Tuesday, another Ten-Pack of observations regarding the week that was in the NFL.

In response to some reader comments, we've added more football-related stuff -- and dialed back the takes regarding the sock puppets.

You can check it out right here. Among other things, we further expose FOX's Bill Maas as a buffoon. We also address the Fred Smoot benching, the use of Reggie Bush as a decoy, and the real person responsible for the train wreck otherwise known as the New York Giants.

MONDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

If the Saints-Falcons game wasn't enough to topple the all-time cable ratings record from the 1993 Ross Perot-Al Gore NAFTA debate, we just don't see it happening this year for ESPN.

The Tennessee Titans are retiring the jersey of a guy who never played for the Titans. Or in Tennessee.

Bears CB Ricky Manning Jr. has pleaded no contest to felony assault charges from an incident at a Westwood Denny's in April; he gets three years probation and will next hear from the Commish, who will be meting out discipline pursuant to the league's Personal Conduct Policy.

Bucs QB Chris Simms has been moved out of ICU.

Hey, Jason Whitlock -- taking a stand on principle is far more impressive if you do it before you get sh-tcanned.

The Titans are sticking with QB Kerry Collins. (Maybe Jeff Fisher really does want to get fired.)

Looks like Tim Lewis won't be a head coach in 2007; hell, he might not be a defensive coordinator, either.

Chargers DE Igor Olshansky (knee) will be back for Week Four at Baltimore.

Saints rookie DE Rob Ninkovich (knee) could be out for the year.

POSTED 7:38 p.m. EDT, September 26, 2006

CARDS STICKING WITH WARNER

Contrary to a Monday night report, the Cardinals will not be making a quarterback switch.

Yet.

Coach Dennis Green announced on Tuesday that Kurt Warner will get the start on Sunday in Atlanta. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that Warner would be benched, and that 2004 Heisman winner Matt Leinart would get the nod.

"Generally talking about the starting lineup is not something we do," coach Dennis Green said. "However, given the speculation that was out there we want to make it clear. We're disappointed after last week, but we still expect to be a playoff football team and we fully expect Kurt Warner to be the quarterback that leads us. That has not changed."

Some league insiders are skeptical about the ESPN.com headline proclaiming that the Cardinals "change mind" on the move. "It looks like the guru's guru got screwed over this week," said one league source. "Somebody gave him the wrong info and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it was done on purpose."

But as of Monday afternoon it was anything but clear that Green would re-commit to Warner. So we think something was up, even if the purpose was merely to light a fire under Warner's butt before putting his butt on the bench.

Still, the incident has fanned the flames of resentment among league execs who are responsible for their mistakes, and members of the media who seemingly aren't. "These guys have no accountability and when they are wrong (and if you add it up, it may be more often than not) they just let it slide," said the source. "When I am wrong I can get fired because it can cost millions."

POSTED 9:05 a.m. EDT, September 26, 2006

DID LEAGUE PUSH TEXANS TO PASS ON BUSH?

There's a theory quietly making the rounds among league insiders regarding the decision of the Houston Texans to pass on Reggie Bush with the first overall pick in the 2006 draft.

As the theory goes, the NFL wanted to help rejuvenate football in New Orleans, and the league realized that the best way to make it happen would be to finagle a marriage between the Saints and Bush. So, as the theory (it's actually more like a "hypothesis," but we've always considered that word to be a tad effeminate) goes, the league made some back-door promises to the Texans, such as support for future Super Bowls or some other way to help owner Bob McNair make more money and/or eventually persuade the locals to name half of the town after him. In exchange for getting Bush, Saints owner Tom Benson would have then made promises to the league regarding keeping the team in New Orleans for a set amount of time and/or generally keeping his mouth shut and his head low (with the exception of the post-game victory "dance" on the new Superdome FieldTurf).

Though it's all pretty intriguing on the surface, we're not buying it. For several reasons.

First, the Texans' decision came about far too quickly in the days prior to the draft. If there were a conspiracy at work, the NFL would have been planting the seeds very early on in the draft season, so that no one would have been suspicious of any chicanery once the Texans went another way. Or a trade would have been brokered between the Texans and the Saints so that, at a minimum, the Houston franchise would receive some competitive compensation for its decision to give up the No. 1 spot in the draft. Since there was no trade, the notion that the Texans stayed put at No. 1, drafted a guy who wasn't their first choice, and paid him like the No. 1 pick makes little sense.

Second, we think that a key component of any such deal would have been a guarantee that former Texans G.M. Charley Casserly would be hired to fill the job in the league office previously occupied by Art Shell. Casserly's stated reason for resigning, after all, was his desire to pursue (and presumably to land) that vacancy. The fact that he didn't get it (the job went to former Falcons exec Ray Anderson) suggests strongly to us that there was no secret deal. And that leads directly to our third point.

Third (duh), Casserly is generally known in league circles as a guy who likes to talk. So if there was some type of a secret deal for the Texans to pass on Bush so that he could land in New Orleans, Casserly eventually would have said something to someone about it by now, especially after the preseason and/or the first week of the regular season, when the volume started to increase on the question of whether the Texans screwed the pooch by not pouncing on Bush. (Then again, there's also the chance that Casserly was intentionally cut out of any discussions regarding this specific matter, given his reputation for being a little loose in the lips.)

Bottom line -- if some type of fix were in on this one, it would have been far more polished. Or maybe the genius of the whole thing is that it was designed to not be polished, so that it would never appear to be an inside job. . . .

We're still not buying it. If the NFL were in the business of dictating draft order, there's a far more direct way to make it happen, via the league office's direct pipeline to the 17 guys who wear the white hats and the now form-fitting black-and-white horse racing shirts.

GRUDEN, BUCS IN LAWSUIT-AVOIDANCE MODE?

The Poobah recently celebrated his 15th anniversary of passing the bar exam (on something less then 15 tries), and the past decade-and-a-half of practicing law has transformed yours truly from an inherently gullible and naive wide-eyed goofball into a thoroughly cynical and suspicious, um, goofball.

But I'd like to think that even the younger, less wrinkly, and more trusting version of the middle-aged guy who bangs out this page every day would be at least a tad curious about the insistence of Bucs coach Jon Gruden on Monday that, after being bruised and battered for the entire afternoon, quarterback Chris Simms suffered a ruptured spleen late in the game -- after he'd been taken by the training and/or medical staff to the locker room for observation.

As one industry source has remarked in an e-mail sent to us this morning, and as we firmly believe, the Bucs are by all appearance in lawsuit-avoidance mode in connection with any eventual claim that the trainers and/or the doctors failed to take prudent actions to yank Simms from the game at a time when it was or should have been obvious that he was not fit to continue.

"I was concerned about him throughout the whole game, as was our medical staff," Gruden said. "But he persisted on being able to play and he was confident he could perform and fight through it. . . . All indications were that he could play."

Translation: "We did nothing wrong."

For anyone out there who doesn't think that the Bucs are subtly (or, perhaps, not-so-subtly) circling the wagons on this one, it's time to wake up and smell the balance sheet. Multi-billion-dollar businesses don't have in-house lawyers simply because the title looks good in the glass case on the wall next to the elevators. Lawyers on the company payroll are in place to take action, when needed, to protect the organization against legal risks. Why? Because liability costs money, and for-profit operations generally are designed to bring in as much of it as possible, and to pay out as little as justifiable. So, in the immediate aftermath of the Simms incident, the safest course for the team (i.e., company) is to insist that he was fit to play and that the hit that caused the specific injury came only after the training staff and/or medical staff had checked him out in the locker room and found that there was no problem.

But based on everything we've seen and heard, there's no way in the world to pinpoint when the injury occurred. So why would Gruden be trying to perpetuate the notion that it was a late-game hit and that there was no proof that he was in any type of physical danger?

Though we've yet to watch the tape of the game, we heard on Monday from multiple league and industry insiders who contend that Simms' struggles were obvious in the fourth quarter. By all indications (and we'll watch the game tonight and offer up our own conclusion), the guy apparently put on a Rocky Balboa type of a performance down the stretch.

But that brings us back to issue at hand. We think the team knows that it screwed up, and we think that the team fears legal action against it and/or its medical staff if Simms is unable to play football again -- or if the interest in him is diminished when he hits the free-agent market next March due to the injuries that he has sustained.

From Simms' perspective, it's far too early to be thinking about those kinds of issues. But from the perspective of the team (i.e., company), it's not too early to be worrying about it -- and to be putting the wheels in motion to mount a successful defense.

LIVE BLOG AND OTHER CRAP

By all indications, last night's live blog was the most popular yet. Traffic was high, and we received many e-mails during the broadcast from folks who were offering up observations of their own -- some of which we added to the monologue.

So we'll keep doing it every Monday night, until further notice.

Looking ahead, a Week Three Ten-Pack will be posted later today, and new Power Rankings are coming on Wednesday.

Radio appearances later today will be on WFNZ in Charlotte at 2:25 p.m. EDT, WDAE in Tampa at 5:15 p.m. EDT, and Sporting News Radio at 11:06 p.m. EDT. We're also scheduled to visit with Glen Macnow of WIP in Philly regarding the weekly Ten-Pack, and that'll either be Tuesday night or Wednesday night.

POSTED 8:22 p.m. EDT, September 25, 2006

SHAUN OUT FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS

It's a good thing that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander has already gotten his big money deal. If, after all, 2006 were his "contract year," the deal he might have seen might not have been as healthy as the backloaded-but-nevertheless-bank-busting eight-year, $62 million package he signed after winning league MVP honors in 2005.

After two ineffective weeks to start the season, the guy whom coach Mike Holmgren used to call "Sybil" will now miss at least a "couple of weeks" with a broken bone in his foot, taking some of the sex appeal out of Sunday night matchup between the Seahawks and the Bears.

Alexander suffered a bone bruise in the opening game at Detroit, and Holmgren said that the bruise led to the crack.

"You lose the MVP for a while, it's a hit," Holmgren said. "Let's face it, he's the MVP. We're not going to sugarcoat it."

Correction, Mike. He was the MVP. There won't be a repeat in 2006, as some folks in the front office feared would happen after Alexander got paid.

GREEN REVERSING COURSE?

A couple of weeks ago, we posted rumors we'd heard that quarterback Matt Leinart would supplant Mr. Yoko Warner as the starter in Arizona sooner rather than later.

The rumors were making the rounds even though coach Denny Green had said (and has since reiterated) that the goal is to keep Leinart on the bench for his rookie year, giving him an opportunity to learn the position at the NFL level.

On Monday, Green refused to echo those comments, taking a noncommittal stance as to who the team's No. 1 signal-caller would be on Sunday at Atlanta.

"I don't talk personnel on Monday," Green said. "We'll start looking at things and have a staff meeting and take it from there."

Warner threw three picks on Sunday against the Rams, with two interceptions coming in the red zone. Warner also fumbled a snap while the Cards were driving for a possible game-winning field goal.

"I'm not worried about that," Warner said in reference to the possibility of getting the hook for the second time in three years with a first-round backup prepared to take his place. "I mean, whatever," Warner added.

Green last had a high-profile rookie quarterback in 1999, when he was the coach of the Vikings and Daunte Culpepper was the No. 11 pick in the draft. But when then-starter Randall Cunningham stumbled to start the season, Green had Jeff George to take his place. George eventually led the Vikings to a division title and a playoff win.

This time around, Green doesn't have a reliable No. 2 option other than his high-priced rookie. So if a change will be made, it'll be Leinart who gets the nod.

LIVE BLOG TONIGHT

Check out our continuous commentary regarding the Monday nighter involving the Falcons and Saints. We think they're playing in New Orleans, but we're not completely sure. There hasn't been much mention of the location on television today.

POSTED 5:46 p.m. EDT, September 25, 2006

A NEW TOUCHDOWN DANCE FOR CHRIS HENRY

It occurred to us while Bengals receiver Chris Henry was celebrating each of his two touchdown receptions on Sunday against the Steelers that a little humility might be in order, given that he has been arrested four times in less than a year, with three arrests coming during the offseason.

Yeah, the guy can play. But his antics screamed out to us that he really hasn't learned anything from his experiences, which also included facing a false accusation of rape made by a woman who has since allegedly killed someone.

So it now appears that Henry will have a new touchdown celebration in the future. Something based on a guy puking outside of a car window while the driver of the vehicle is being busted for DUI. As it turns out, he was perfecting that specific move early Monday.

Yep, as we predicted on a somewhat-tongue-in-cheek basis earlier on Monday, Henry was in the car with linebacker Odell Thurman. And Henry was vomiting through the window of the vehicle as Thurman was getting busted.

Under the circumstances, it's obvious that Henry was drinking as well, especially since Thurman has said that he was driving with a 0.17 blood alcohol content because the other guys were in even worse shape. (Of course, Henry is now likely to claim that he'd merely ingested some bad spinach during his post-game meal, and that he was so overcome by E. coli that he had to let the drunk guy drive the car.) And our guess is that one of the terms of Henry's most recent probation for gun possession in Florida and/or his probation for marijuana possession in Kentucky have been violated by Henry.

Amazingly, Henry was not charged with public intoxication or any crime during the incident.

Also in the vehicle was Bengals rookie receiver Reggie McNeal, another guy whom we've previously heard has some turdish tendencies, but who had yet to involve himself in any embarrassing situations.

"I think for Odell, it's disappointing, for me, it's disappointing for our program, for all of our fans," coach Marvin Lewis said. "He just obviously doesn't understand the privilege and right to play in the National Football League. This will probably be dealt with very severely . . . no question by the league."

Lewis apparently made no statement about Henry's involvement in the situation.

POSTED 8:21 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 8:48 a.m. EDT, September 25, 2006

ANOTHER BENGAL BUSTED

On the same day that the Cincinnati Bengals re-established their regular-season superiority over the Pittsburgh Steelers, linebacker Odell Thurman became the latest member of the team to be arrested.

Thurman, per various news reports, was arrested for DUI shortly after 3:00 a.m. on Monday when police spotted him driving left of center roughly a block away from a police checkpoint. Thurman was behind the wheel of teammate Reggie McNeal's SUV. There were other Bengals players in the vehicle, but their names have not been released.

Thurman's blood alcohol content was measured at 0.17 percent, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent.

The second-year linebacker currently is serving a four-game suspension for violation of the league's substance abuse policy. He's now in the same potential predicament as Packers receiver Koren Robinson -- charged with an alcohol-related offense at a time when the player is already "in" Stage Three of the substance-abuse program. Depending on the specific requirements of Thurman's treatment plan, the 0.17 percent test result could be enough to trigger a one-year suspension.

The arrest couldn't have come at a more inopportune time for the Bengals, who went into Heinz Field on Sunday and humbled the Pittsburgh Steelers. The fact that a carload of players were out celebrating the victory by getting blotto (we can only presume that no one in the car was sober, since common-sense suggests that the sober one would have been driving) strongly suggests that coach Marvin Lewis still has a loooooong way to go before he gets some of his guys to understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable off-field conduct.

And our guess (and it's only a guess) is that it's just a matter of time before word is released that the group of other Bengals in the SUV included Chris Henry and/or A.J. Nicholson and/or Frostee Rucker and/or Eric Steinbach.

Just last week, new NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell visited with the Bengals told them that they have a "responsibility as players that they continue to represent the league, the Bengals and their community in a positive fashion."

Why do we have a feeling that, regardless of the legal niceties, the Goodell signature appearing on the official NFL ball eventually will be branded on Thurman's buttocks?

WHERE WERE THE BUCS' DOCTORS?

One of the things that we can't figure out in the wake of the emergency splenectomy performed Sunday on Tampa quarterback Chris Simms is why in the hell the team's training staff and/or medical staff allowed Simms to continue to play while he likely was demonstrating what a reasonable medical professional might interpret as symptoms of having a busted spleen?

Indeed, we initially presumed that Simms' continued presence in the game despite the condition didn't necessarily connote "toughness" because we likewise presumed that the team's training and/or medical staff is sufficiently schooled and skilled as to the signs and the symptoms of a guy who might have suffered an injury that is by no means rare for someone who is suffering repeated blunt force trauma to the abdomen.

So what in the hell did the trainers or the doctors do when Simms was taken to the locker room in the second half? Did it just not occur to anyone that Simms might have popped a spleen? Or did someone decide not to make a big issue about it until after the game since, after all, the team was on the verge of pulling out of its cannon hole the first win of the season?

Either way, it's unacceptable -- and it should re-ignite the discourse as to whether the best medical care is available for players at all times, and as to whether "team" physicians are more beholden to the folks who sign their checks than to their actual patients.

It's definitely been a problem in the past, in other cities. Landing the local football team is a coup for any medical practice, and at times the decision isn't made based on quality of care but on how much money the medical practice will re-invest in stadium signage and suites.

Maybe, then, Simms really was in horrible pain and continued to fight through the fact that an organ was seeping blood into his abdominal cavity. We assumed that he wasn't in such a condition simply because we also assumed that the folks who were supposed to take care of him were doing so.

Whether or not they were is the question that needs to be asked of Bucs coach Jon Gruden, G.M. Bruce Allen, the doctors, and anyone else in a position of authority. We're not talking about getting a sound bite with a softball, either. We're hoping that "real" journalists from "real" media outlets with "real" access to the powers-that-be will take up this cause for Simms.

If the "real" media won't do it, then let's hope that Simms or his family will.

POSTED 8:40 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:28 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

SIMMS HAD A RUPTURED SPLEEN

We've confirmed via a league source that Bucs quarterback Chris Simms is in stable condition following the removal of his spleen. Peter King of NBC reported the information moments ago on NBC, citing Simms' mother as the source.

Simms will remain in the hospital, we hear, for two days or so. He is out of any danger, but the doctors want to monitor his condition post-surgery. He is expected to miss two months.

One of the big questions, as we see it, is whether the spleen was removed through a laparoscopic procedure, which as we all learned in connection with the Big Ben appendectomy involves small punctures into the abdomen and not a broad incision. Recovery time is generally faster, and the risk of injury generally is lower, with a laparoscopic procedure.

(For any Seinfeld aficionados out there, you might recall that it was a splenectomy into which Kramer once fumbled a Junior Mint.)

The Bucs have some tough decisions to make without Simms. The other quarterbacks on the roster are Tim Rattay and rookie Bruce Gradkowski. The free-agent market is relatively bare right now; if Rich Gannon has stayed in shape, who knows? Maybe he gets a call.

And then there's Lord Favre. His name already has been linked to the Bucs. But we just don't see it happening; Tampa is hardly a contending team, and Favre likely would have no interest in getting pinballed like Simms behind a makeshift (minus the "f") offensive line.

PLAYING WITH A RUPTURED SPLEEN NOT NECESSARILY A MARK OF "TOUGHNESS"

As sock puppets like Sean Salisbury and various e-mailers are taking the position that no one should ever again question the "toughness" of Bucs quarterback Chris Simms given that he played football on Sunday with a ruptured spleen, we recommend doing a little research on the symptoms of a ruptured spleen before making such proclamations.

The primary discomfort that the patient will experience is left shoulder-tip pain, and perhaps some tenderness in the abdomen. If the leak of blood from the spleen into the body is gradual, there might be no symptoms at all, at first. There is a possibility of severe upper left abdomen pain.

Eventually, as more blood is lost, the patient will experience light-headedness, blurred vision, confusion, and loss of consciousness.

So did Simms have a serious medical condition? Yes. Was playing with that condition equivalent to Jack Youngblood on a broken leg? No.

(Editor's note: We're already hearing from folks who claim to have had ruptured spleens of their own, etc., and who insist that it's very painful. Maybe, for some, it is. Given that Simms was taken to the locker room at one point during the game, our guess is that the training and/or medical staff would have considered the possibility of a spleen rupture if he were complaining of serious abdominal discomfort. Surely, team physicians recognize that this kind of injury is a possibility -- and they wouldn't have let him play if there was any reason to believe that he had suffered such a serious injury.)

Our point here isn't that Simms isn't "tough" -- the guy has had the tar knocked out of him this season, and he's been berated publicly by his coach. Clearly, he's no pansy, and perhaps the first three weeks of the season have hardened him from the guy who, as we heard, was whimpering on contact from the Ravens' defenders. But the fact that Simms played with a ruptured spleen that was undetected by trained professionals suggests to us either that he wasn't complaining of severe upper left abdomen pain, or that the team doctors are quacks.

LIVE BLOG TOMORROW NIGHT

We're going to keep doing the live blog thing, and for now we'll be doing it on Monday nights only.

So tune in tomorrow night and check out our constantly-updated commentary regarding the Saints-Falcons game and the coverage of it.

MONDAY RADIO STUFF

Check out the Poobah on AOL's Sports Bloggers Live at 12:05 p.m. EDT or so on Monday. We also might squeeze onto the Dino Costa Show in the early afternoon, day-job schedule permitting.

SUNDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

This clip from You Tube regarding the Raiders' struggles is poignant, in a strange sort of way.

Man, Lord Favre might end up setting the all-time touchdown mark before setting the all-time interception record.

Said TE Jeremy Shockey after the Giants lost in ugly fashion to the Seahawks: "We got outplayed, and outcoached. Write that down."

Eagles DT Mike Patterson might never be able to run again.

The boo birds are out in Foxborough, with the Pats shut out at halftime.

Browns QB Charlie Frye has rushed for a touchdown in three straight games, the first time a Cleveland quarterback has done it since Otto Graham in 1954.

The China Bowl will be televised by NBC, and Dorian Gray indicated during halftime of Sunday night's game that Cris Collinsworth will work the game with Al Michaels, given the absence of bus service to Beijing. ("Hey," John Madden asked, "can't we just dig a hole, like in the cartoons?")

The brother of Colts WR Reggie Wayne has been killed in a car accident.

Al Michaels of NBC says that the Broncos are the first team to not allow a touchdown through the first 11 quarters of a season since the 1942 Chicago Cardinals.

Keyshawn made a memorable return to the Ray-Jay.

Some Vikings were bitching that the Minneapolis Star Tribune had a full-page photo of Bears LB Brian Urlacher on Sunday.

The Cards were preparing to try a 77-yard, game-winning three-pointer via a free kick, base on an obscure rule that allows such a try after a fair catch.

49ers TE Vernon Davis and RB Frank Gore were injured on Sunday against the Eagles.

POSTED 8:31 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

SIMMS HOSPITALIZED, NOT IN CRITICAL CONDITION

Al Michaels of NBC just announced that Bucs quarterback Chris Simms is indeed hospitalized, but is not in critical condition.

The information was obtained by Peter King, who spoke with Bucs G.M. Bruce Allen.

The reason for the hospitalization has not been disclosed.

POSTED 8:27 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

CHRIS SIMMS IN CRITICAL CONDITION

There are various reports that Bucs quarterback Chris Simms was hospitalized on Sunday afternoon following his team's 26-24 loss, and is in critical condition.

There are no specific details at this time regarding the reason for the hospitalization, or his prognosis.

Stay tuned.

POSTED 5:09 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

FIRE MILLEN

To the Ford family, which has presided over forty-plus years of mediocre-at-best football performances, it's time to admit that you never should have hired Matt Millen to run your team. And then you should fire him.

Now. Right now. Not in November. Not in December. Not January.

Right freaking now.

With three straight losses to start a season in which way too much hope flowed from the over-hyped hiring of Rod Marinelli to be the third head coach in six seasons, the Lions on Millen's watch (if he owns one) are 21 up . . . and 62 down.

Even worse, Sunday's loss came at home against a terrible Packers team, dropping the Lions to 0-3 and, arguably, to the bottom of the entire league with the Raiders.

Given that record of ineptitude, we defy anyone to get through the first two paragraphs of Millen's online bio with a straight face: "With a paramount desire to steer the Lions' franchise in a new direction and rise among the NFL's top-tiered teams, Lions chairman and owner William Clay Ford appointed Matt Millen to the position of president and CEO January 9, 2001. Millen, who begins his fifth year, assumed full control over the team's football operations and has been forging his knowledge and attitude about the game into the team's development since he began directing day-to-day operations of the organization.

"Since Millen's arrival in Detroit, he has re-structured the organization, both on and off the field, with moves that have had a positive impact on the team's goal to claim a Super Bowl crown."

Um. Um. Yeah.

Though we've heard that some of the more questionable decisions of the Millen regime, such as the drafting of Joey Harrington, the hiring of Marty Mornhinweg to be the head coach when Steve Mariucci wasn't available, and the firing of Mornhinweg when Mariucci became available, were ultimately made by ownership and not by Millen, the buck goes no farther than Millen's desk (at which we wonder whether he's done anything other than read old "Tank McNamara" comic strips).

And then there's the decision to use the No. 2 overall pick in 2003 on receiver Charles Rogers, who is the biggest draft bust from Michigan State since Tony Mandarich. The No. 10 overall pick in the 2005 draft, receiver Mike Williams, is another wasted top-ten selection, further proving the notion that forcing bad organizations to exercise early draft picks is hardly a guarantee that they'll get any better, since the bad franchises are more likely to screw up the early picks.

So it's time. Right now. Clean house. Fire Millen. And then, after the season, turn entire control of the football organization over to someone who knows what's he's doing -- not to some former player-turned-broadcaster who merely thinks that he does.

POSTED 4:24 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

VIKES CAN'T FINAGLE AN OFFENSIVE TOUCHDOWN

The Minnesota Vikings have gone more than nine quarters, plus half of an overtime period, without scoring an offensive touchdown, a total of 152 minutes and 17 seconds of futility.

Along the way, the Vikings scored enough points over the last quarter-and-a-half of the Week One game to pull away from the Redskins, beat the Panthers in the fifth quarter, and nearly outscore the Bears. But for a late fumble by Chester Taylor that was converted into a touchdown by Chicago, the Vikes would be 3-0 notwithstanding a chronic inability to generate six-pointers on offense.

The only two touchdowns that Minnesota has scored were on a fake field goal, and a short interception return by Antoine Winfield.

The come-from-behind win by the Bears puts them in sole possession of first place in the NFC North. Chicago has beaten the Packers, Lions, and Vikings to start the season. They'll face a stiff test next Sunday night, when the Seahawks swoop in to Soldier Field.

POSTED 3:20 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

STREAK ENDS AT 22

After throwing 22 straight passes to start Sunday's game at Houston, Redskins quarterback Mark Brunell has thrown an incompletion.

As a result, Brunell is tied for No. 2 all-time in consecutive completions, with Joe Montana. Brunnell's 22 completions are the most ever to start a game, breaking Rich Gannon's mark of 21, set in 2002.

Brunell's final pass last weekend against the Cowboys was incomplete, putting him at zero when he started Sunday's game.

POSTED 3:15 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

BRUNELL 22-FOR-22

Redskins quarterback Mark Brunell is 22-for-22 passing in Washington's game at the Texans.

The NFL record for consecutive completions is 24, held by Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb. He set the record over two games in 2004.

POSTED 12:23 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 12:34 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

KEARSE INJURY WORSE THAN REPORTED

FOX's Jay Glazer reports that the knee injury to Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse is worse than initially reported.

In addition to a torn MCL and two other partially torn knee ligaments, Kearse popped his hamstring tendon, strained his quadriceps tendon, dislocated his kneecap, cracked his tibia, and tore the capsule that hold the entire mess of bone and ligament and muscle together.

The partially torn knee ligaments are the PCL and the LCL.

As we've previously reported, Kearse did not tear his ACL. He busted everything but the ACL, but somehow the ACL wasn't torn.

It'll be a long road back for Kearse, even without a torn ACL. And as Glazer said, a little more rotation of the knee might have ended his career. (In fact, we'd never heard of the LCL before Kearse's injury, but a doctor who reads the site told us earlier this week that, if the LCL goes, an athlete's career is pretty much done.) Glazer reports that, despite the overall damage to the knee, Kearse could be back in time for training camp in 2007.

Whether and to what extent Kearse gets back to his old self, however, is something that the Eagles surely will monitor as the Freak's contract gets into the puffed-up back-end years. He's scheduled to earn salaries of $5.2 million in 2007, $6.46 million in 2008, $7.72 million in 2009, $8.98 million in 2010, and $10.24 million in 2011.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Glazer reports that only a few days before the Falcons signed K Morten Andersen, he called the Saints and asked he if could sign a one-day contract to retire with the team; on Monday night, he'll be kicking against them.

Mort says that Panthers WR Steve Smith (hamstring) will start, but might only be a decoy; we're hearing that he'll play and participate as much as his hamstrings allow.

Mort also says that Redskins RB Clinton Portis has declared himself "105 percent healthy." (As one reader pointed out, is Mort sure Portis didn't say 100.5?)

Titans RB Chris Brown is out for Sunday, per multiple reports.

CBS info guy Charley Casserly candidly admits that he would have taken Daunte Culpepper over Drew Brees.

Casserly also confirms that the Falcons talked to our boys up the road at WVU to install a portion of the spread-option; he says that the best way to defend it is to send someone right at QB Mike Vick (moving forward, it also might be a good idea for someone to give ECU coach Skip Holtz a ring-a-ding, since the Pirates stymied the Mountaineers on Saturday, holding West Virginia to 153 rushing yards and "only" losing by 17 points).

POSTED 11:28 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:08 p.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

CULPEPPER ON A SHORT LEASH

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Dolphins coach Nick Saban could be bringing backup Joey Harrington off of the bench if starter Daunte Culpepper continues to stumble.

Mort says that Saban told Culpepper this week that he's not the same guy he used to be before tearing three knee ligaments, and that he has to get rid of the ball sooner.

The overriding concern is that, while Culpepper is physically recovered from the serious knee injury, he might not be mentally recovered.

UNCLE RICO ERA COMING?

At a time when Chris Simms is doing his best Napoleon Dynamite impression in Tampa, his Uncle Rico could be throwing the football over them mountains as soon as next week for the Titans, if starter Kerry Collins continues to build on his less-then-stellar 26.9 passer rating.

Per Mort, rookie Vince Young could be the guy next week.

The topic was the subject of a spirited debate between Mike Ditka and Gloria Vanderbilt on the Sunday NFL Countdown set, with Ditka arguing that the Titans should use Young now, and Ron Jaworski and his ladies glasses contending that coach Jeff Fisher should wait.

Both "men" cited examples of guys who thrived and guys who failed after being put onto the field as rookies. The one name that wasn't mentioned? Troy Aikman, who rebounded from a 1-15 rookie season with three Lombardis in the next six seasons.

Our position? Go with Rico.

ATTENTION RAMS, CARDS FANS

Given that Bill Maas has been assigned by FOX to cover today's game involving the Rams and Cardinals at the Pink Taco, we're assuming that only the folks in Arizona and St. Louis will have the opportunity to see the game -- and to hear Maas talk about it.

Though we plan to dial it up on the deesh and listen carefully to the audio for more evidence that Maas is a meathead, we'll throw out an open invitation to anyone who watches the game and hears anything stoopid from Maas to drop us a line.

And, by the way, the game might actually be a good one. Too bad it's up against the Giants at the Seahawks.

MORE SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Ricky Williams is back, sort of -- he had 57 yards rushing in his return from a broken arm.

Mort says that Panthers WR Steve Smith is not a lock to play on Sunday at Tampa.

One more thing on Mort's early report, and we say this with all due discretion and respect . . . quarterback Brad Johnson is not the lowest-paid starter in the NFL; Johnson's salary of $1 million exceeds by $650,000 the base salary that the Browns are paying to Charlie Frye.

Holy crap -- we find ourselves agreeing with Michael Irvin, who disagrees with Tom Jackson and Gloria Vanderbilt, both of whom think that the Vikings can overtake the Bears in the NFC North.

The 'Skins know that they need to win now.

In one breath, Ben the Drama Queen calls the Steelers' Week Three game a "must win"; in the next, he says that "no one is panicking."

Broncos WR Rod Smith might be realizing that his next NFL concussion could be his last NFL concussion.

Jerry Rice says that Seahawks WR Deion Branch shouldn't have held out.

Aaron Moorehead is the No. 3 receiver for the Colts on Sunday.

Fins WR Marty Booker (ankle) is expected to play on Sunday.

POSTED 10:16 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:06 a.m. EDT, September 24, 2006

"TRIPLE X" TO BE CUT OFF BY ESPN?

A radio industry source tells us that ESPN has put Dan Snyder on notice. We're told that Snyder, who has bought three ESPN radio affiliates in the D.C. area and has dubbed them "Triple X" radio, must boost the signal strength of the three radio stations by January 1, or ESPN will yank its programming from each of them.

The stations, bought by Snyder's Red Zebra company for a reported $33 million in January 2006, carry primarily ESPN Radio content during weekdays, with a three-hour show hosted by John Riggins replacing the Eric Kuselias Sports Bash from Bristol and a one-hour noon-time show with Larry Michael pre-empting the final hour of Colin Cowherd's show.

"Triple X" is WWXT-FM 92.7 in Prince Frederick, Maryland, WWXX-FM 94.3 in Warrenton Virginia, and WXTR-AM 730 in Alexandria.

And there's no truth to the rumor that Snyder has countered ESPN's demand by offering to eat a Madagascar hissing cockroach.

MORE ON "PROBABLE"

Okay, it looks like we've found a niche unrelated to being insufferable smart-asses. Then again, some might think that only an insufferable smart-ass would feel compelled to point out whenever an NFL team or a media outlet incorrectly characterizes the term "probable" on a pro football injury report.

In this regard, we cannot and will not discriminate. We've gotten to know many NFL journalist types over the years, and we get the feeling that almost as many now like us as despise us.

And we encourage readers to point out to us any time that someone says that "probable" means a 75-percent chance of playing (the wrong definition), and not a "virtual certainty" that the player will be available for normal duty (the right one).

The latest, from the Cleveland Plain Dealer, appeared in a September 23 article.

It's very possible that the Plain Dealer got it wrong because the Browns have been disseminating incorrect information, as have several other teams.

The bottom line of this exercise is that the NFL needs to make sure its teams know the right definition or(even better) the league should expand the injury categories to define "probable" as "75 percent" and "likely" as "virtual certainty."

HOW NOT TO SPEND YOUR CONTRACT YEAR

Rams defensive end Anthony Hargrove is in the final year of his rookie contract. Typically, such a circumstance prompts a guy to step it up, since the next spring presents an opportunity to get paid.

Sure, Hargrove will still be a restricted free agent come March. But with the tenders increasing significantly under the new CBA, he'll do much better in 2007 than in 2006 even if the Rams choose to give him the lowest level in order to hold a right to match any offer he receives (and to get a third-round draft pick from his new team if the Rams opt to let him walk).

So disappearing for two days during the last year of said rookie contract isn't the smartest strategy for enhancing Hargrove's 1040 form.

He finally showed up on Friday night at 11:30 p.m. to meet with team officials, after missing two days of practice without an excuse. Hargrove won't play on Sunday, and he's likely to be fined.

"It's not what you're supposed to do as a teammate and a team player and as a member of this organization," coach Scott Linehan said. "The focus now is on who's going to be helping us on Sunday."

Hargrove's agent, Reggie Blackwell, said that the incident was the result of a Wednesday night conversation between Hargrove and his parents. "He just didn't handle the communication," Blackwell said. "It kind of overwhelmed him and he shut it down."

The third-year player was a no-show for practice on Thursday, prompting initial concerns for his safety. He then called the team at 4:00 p.m. to report that he was fine, and he was summoned to meet with Linehan at 6:00 p.m. Hargrove didn't show. He likewise didn't show up for practice on Friday.

Hargrove will be replaced on Sunday by Victor Adeyanju. (Gesundheit.)

SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Colts K Adam Vinatieri is out with a sore groin; he'll be replaced by the Hamburglar.

Five other Colts are out for Sunday, including the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

The Seahawks have activated WR Deion Branch, releasing DL Chris Cooper to create a roster spot.

We watched SportsCenter before ESPN's NFL Sunday Countdown, and if this Josh Elliott dude is being groomed for bigger things in Bristol, the future is about as bright as a 40-watt bulb with a bad filament.

John Clayton of ESPN says that Jags WR Matt Jones is a game-time decision, and that Colts DE Dwight Freeney is a game-timer with an injury to the butt.

Clayton also reports that Big Ben is fever-free and ready to roll against the Bengals.

Attention national sports media -- most of us don't give a f--k about the Ryder Cup.

Gloria Vanderbilt update -- Jaws is still wearing his ladies glasses.

Sal Paolantonio reports that Bengals WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh (heel) will play on Sunday.

Two weeks, two $7,500 fines for Cards DT Darnell Dockett.

The Seahawks and Patriots will square off next August in China.

POSTED 4:11 p.m. EDT, September 23, 2006

YAHOO! DENIES WRONGDOING IN BUSH REPORTING

A statement issued by Yahoo! Sports expresses unequivocal support for the journalistic methods that culminated in a detailed September 14 story indicating that Saints tailback Reggie Bush and his family received money and other benefits while he still was playing college football for USC. Such payments would have rendered Bush ineligible, and could result in the forfeiture of games by USC, and the loss of Bush's 2005 Heisman Trophy.

Said the company: "We stand by both the accuracy and veracity of the reporting by Jason Cole and Charles Robinson in the investigation of Reggie Bush and his family. No information from Yahoo! columnist Dan Wetzel was used in the investigative stories by Cole and Robinson."

Wetzel is the reporter who, according to Bush lawyer David Cornwell, posed as an employee of marketing agent Mike Ornstein's firm in an effort to obtain information from a Northern California hotel, apparently regarding charges incurred on behalf of Bush's parents for a 2005 trip to the Trojans' game at Cal-Berkeley.

It appears, based on everything we've seen and heard, that Ornstein's former business partner, Lee Pfeifer, cooperated with the Yahoo! Sports story regarding evidence that credit card charges were incurred on behalf of Bush's parents and brother. Pfeifer and Ornstein, as we understand it, did not part on good terms, which would make Pfiefer more likely to offer up information that might be potentially harmful to Ornstein and/or his client, Reggie Bush.

And if Pfeifer was cooperating, there would have been no need for Wetzel or anyone else to attempt to obtain information via false pretenses.

So it's possible that Cornwell is merely blowing smoke, in an effort to deflect attention from the increasingly apparent fact that Bush and/or his family got paid before they should have.

POSTED 12:55 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 3:06 p.m. EDT, September 23, 2006

YAHOO! IN TROUBLE FOR BUSH TACTICS?

A reader has forwarded to us a recent interview of California's Attorney General, who seems to acknowledge that the mining of confidential information under false pretenses (commonly known as "pretexting") is a violation of California law. Bill Lockyer, the chief law enforcement official in the state of California, has been considering the issue in light of evidence regarding the use of pretexting by Hewlett-Packard's board chairman to identify the source of leaks. In that case, investigators posed as members of the board and as members of the media in order to obtain phone records.

Said Lockyer on September 7: "There are two relevant statutes that may provide for criminal liability to someone who does pretexting. There's an identity theft statute, and there's a law that was designed to mostly address computer hackers, but it's getting information illegally from someone's computer system. Essentially it's pretending you're some other person to get a business that has a lot of personal information about a customer, to get that information disclosed by pretending you're that customer."

The chances, however, of prosecution appear to be minimal. "Anyone that does this might be prosecuted, but with constraints on resources, it's probably the large-volume privacy invaders that are actually going to wind up being prosecuted," Lockyer said.

Lawyer David Cornwell alleged on Friday that a Yahoo! reporter contacted a Northern California hotel and pretended to be an employee of Mike Ornstein's sports marketing firm, in an effort to obtain information regarding credit card charges made there, presumably on behalf of Reggie Bush's family. On September 15, Yahoo! Sports reported that credit card charges show that an Ornstein employee had paid for travel and lodging for the Bush family with a credit card. Ornstein has said that any such payments, if made, would have been reimbursed.

It's possible that a violation of the criminal statute could be used by Ornstein in support of a civil lawsuit against Yahoo! alleging invasion of privacy.

WEEK THREE FANTASY PICKS AND PUNKS

It's Saturday, so it's time for our weekly look at some players that we think you should consider using -- and avoiding -- when submitting your final fantasy rosters. Much of our information in this regard comes from Paul Charchian of Fanball.com, who offered up picks and punks at several different key positions during our Friday Fantasy PodCast.

First, the picks:

Daunte Culpepper, QB Dolphins: If he's ever gonna bounce back, it'll be at home against the forgettable Titans.

Mark Brunell, QB, Redskins: Another guy who, if he ever plays well again, it will be this weekend against the Texans.

Edgerrin James, RB, Cardinals: The Rams were gashed by Frank Gore last week; this could be Edge's breakout game.

Thomas Jones, RB, Bears: He's averaging more than 100 yards per game in his last four against the Vikings, and the Bears are likely to pound it in a run-oriented NFC North battle.

Antonio Bryant, WR, 49ers: Philly's secondary has allowed four receiver touchdowns and Bryant has been stellar in the first two weeks.

Donte' Stallworth, WR, Eagles: Some think he's a flash in the pan. Not us. Let it ride.

Mike Furrey, WR, Lions: Charch's sleeper of the week, given that the Pack are doing a decent job stopping a team's No. 1 receiver -- but not the No. 2.

Jaguars defense: Held the Colts to 10 points in Indy last year, and is coming off of a stifling of the Steelers.

Next, the punks:

Brett Favre, QB, Packers: Typically struggles indoors, and will be facing a Lions team that could be facing an 0-8 start if they lose to the lowly Pack.

Byron Leftwich, QB, Jaguars: Averaging under 250 yards per game and possibly without Matt Jones this weekend, Fat Albert won't be lighting up the Colts.

Ahman Green, RB, Packers: Hasn't scored against the Lions since early 2003, has a hamstring problem, and is fumbling.

Warrick Dunn, RB, Falcons: Charch suggests showing caution on Dunn, who hasn't been stellar against the Saints. Meanwhile, New Orleans has been stingy when it comes to allowing running backs into the end zone.

Cadillac Williams, RB, Buccaneers: Though the Panthers have struggled against the run, they'll look a lot better against a Tampa offense -- especially with Chris Simms peeing in his pants every time he sees Julius Peppers.

Reggie Wayne, WR, Colts: Has only one career touchdown against the Jags.

Joe Horn, WR, Saints: The Falcons haven't allowed a receiver touchdown (or any touchdown) this season, and Horn has a bad hammy.

Drew Bennett, WR, Titans: Charch suggests selling high on Bennett, especially when facing a Fins defense that allows only 146 passing yards per game.

Giants defense: Giving up 389 yards per game and 22.5 points, what once was the strength of this team is now a liability.

Finally, we need to address a topic that came up at the tail end of the Fantasy Podcast. Charch asked whether we're conflicted regarding our Sprint sponsorship in light of the fact that Colts quarterback Peyton Manning (whom for a variety of reasons we don't like very much) stars in a Sprint commercial. But we insisted that it's not Peyton Manning in the commercial; instead, it's a guy in a Peyton Manning jersey. After further review, we've confirmed it.

Yes, Schneider loves his NFL Mobile. As do we.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Folks are complaining about the Redskins' radio broadcasts.

Vikings QB Tarvaris Jackson will miss 2-4 weeks after suffering a knee injury during practice; he'll undergo arthroscopic surgery on Monday.

T.O. says he'll be ready to face the Eagles on October 8.

There could be a turd on the turf at Heinz Field this weekend when Dookie makes his debut.

Cowboys LB DeMarcus Ware was fined $5,000 for a helmet-to-helmet hit on Redskins QB Mark Brunell.

Vikings S Darren Sharper, a former Packer, blames Green Bay G.M. Ted Thompson for the team's current struggles.

Seahawks K Josh Brown says that attempting field goals in the heavy Seattle air is like "kicking through gravy." (In an unrelated development, FOX's Tony Siragusa has "called" every Seahawks home game for the rest of the year.)

Newcomer RB Vernand Morency could get the start if Packers RB Ahman Green (hamstring) can't go.

Koren Robinson might debut at receiver for the Pack this weekend, but he would not have a big role.

The Vikings are going lighter and faster.

The state of New York might pump $20 million into Ralph Wilson Stadium.

Fins practice squad WR Marcus Vick emulated Titans QB Vince Young for the Miami scout team.

POSTED 9:43 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 10:52 a.m. EDT, September 23, 2006

SAVAGE ON THE HOT SEAT?

Nearly a year after Browns G.M. Phil Savage avoided getting axed by team president John Collins, whose swing-and-miss of Savage resulted in his own ouster, there is growing talk in league circles that Savage could be the next man out in Cleveland.

We've heard from multiple sources that Savage is regarded in league circles as in trouble, although we've heard nothing about this from folks with knowledge of whether owner Randy Lerner is actually considering a change.

But, the sources say, the whispers are increasing. There are questions regarding Savage's abilities to run an entire football operation. Considered to be an excellent evaluator of college talent, the talk is that Savage has not developed sufficient expertise on matters such as "pro personnel" (i.e., evaluating and acquiring players currently in the league), salary cap management, and general leadership skills.

One source called Savage "a very smart guy" but conceded that the G.M. job is perhaps "too much for him." The source also opined that Savage "has a hard time keeping his mouth shut," pointing to recent comments made by Savage to the Massillon Touchdown Club after the team's season-opening loss to the Saints.

"We need to establish something on offense," Savage said at the time. "That was a big disappointment. Offensively in the first half, there was not a single play you can say, 'That’s something the Cleveland Browns can do.'"

Observed the source: "That had to anger [coach Romeo] Crennel and [offensive coordinator Maurice] Carthon."

Of course, Savage also raised eyebrows during the offseason when he expressed a preference for Christian players. (We suppose that safety Brian Russell was attempting to perform some type of faith healing maneuver on Chad Johnson last week.)

The bottom line is that, if the team continues to struggle, someone will have to take the fall. And even though Savage has been on the job for less than two years, Lerner is facing a potential fan revolt in Cleveland. Thus, the team's safest approach might be to blame the hire of Savage on Collins, and move on.

INTRODUCING THE "KORDOZA LINE"

In the 1970s (or thereabouts), baseball types began using the term "Mendoza Line" as the point of demarcation between below-average and bad hitters. Named for either Minnie Mendoza or Mario Mendoza, it refers to a batting average of .200.

We think that NFL quarterbacks should be judged by a similar device, so from this point forward (or at least as long as this bit holds our interest) we'll be keeping an eye on which starting quarterbacks are below the Kordoza Line, which for these purposes means the 70.7 career passer rating of Kordell Stewart.

Through the first two weeks of the NFL regular season, the K-Club includes Packers quarterback Brett Favre (70.0), Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper (69.2), Cowboys quarterback Drew Bledsoe (68.0), Redskins quarterback Mark Brunell (67.7), Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme (61.5), Browns quarterback Charlie Frye (56.0), Bucs quarterback Chris Simms (40.0), Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (38.7), Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer (38.6), Titans quarterback Kerry Collins (26.9), and Raiders quarterback Andrew Walter (19.0).

PORTER-TO-MOTOWN RUMORS PREMATURE

We've received several e-mails over the past few days regarding rumors and reports that the Detroit Lions have been in discussions with the Oakland Raiders regarding a possible trade for receiver Jerry Porter.

Per industry sources, we're hearing that, for now, the possibility of a deal is low. Although the Lions have only two receivers that they consider to be worth a damn, the Raiders reportedly want Porter to refund his $4 million signing bonus as part of any trade. Also, the thinking is that the Lions would not be inclined to give up anything significant for Porter.

Frankly, we can't understand why Lions CEO Matt Millen would even consider making a trade for a guy who has developed a reputation for being a king-sized turd. Given the Charles Rogers and Mike Williams debacles, one would think that Millen has decided to play it more conservative when it comes to wideouts.

In hindsight, we're guessing that the team regrets not making a play for former Mike Martz pupil Isaac Bruce after the Rams dumped him in a cap move.

Then again, we're starting to wonder whether this franchise ever regrets anything, since it is emotions like regret that often prevent folks from making the same mistakes over and over again.

SANTARDIO?

A league source who keeps a close eye on the Pittsburgh Steelers has suggested that we cease and desist referring to receiver Santonio Holmes as "Santurdio," a moniker he earned after being arrested twice in a three-week period after the draft.

Said the source, "[Holmes] has had two months to learn 10 plays and he still f--ks it up so now he is 'Santardio.'"

Through two games, Holmes has two catches for 21 yards. A foot injury kept him out of practice on Wednesday and Thursday of this week, but he was able to participate on Friday, which means that he still might play on Sunday.

PHIL SIMMS TO KICK JON, JOEY'S ASSES?

Though the big news coming out of Tampa is that quarterback Chris Simms has looked through two games like anything but the guy he was in 2005, there's an intriguing story line regarding the interactions between Simms and his head coach, Jon Gruden.

ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported this week that some league sources believe that Gruden's game-day histrionics are over the top. "Gruden is brutal," an anonymous G.M. told Mortensen. "His body language is the worst in the league. The way he treats that kid on the sidelines is a disgrace. I don't care how tough Simms is, what Gruden has done in two games is a clinic on how to break a quarterback's confidence."

But ESPN analyst Joe Theismann a/k/a Joey Sunshine thinks that Simms needs to toughen up. "You're the quarterback and you get all the credit, so what makes you think you won't get the criticism? You either bone up and be a man, or you tuck your tail and run away," Theismann said.

In our view, both Gruden and Sunshine should be prepared to take a fist to the face from Chris's daddy, Phil Simms. As Phil said in 2005, after ESPN's Steve Young suggested that Chris's silver-spoon upbringing has diminished his toughness, "You can say whatever you want about my son, but one thing that'll get me mad, and I'll stand in your face about it, is about toughness."

And until Phil intervenes, his boy's strategy for dealing with his head coach might best be depicted in this photo that's currently making the rounds on the Internet.

POSTED 11:03 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:20 p.m. EDT, September 22, 2006

"PROBABLE" REVISITED

Well, it's that time of year again. The word "probable" shows up on the weekly NFL injury reports, and fans end up thinking that it means that there's a 75-percent chance that the guy will play.

It doesn't. We've re-confirmed via NFL spokesman Greg Aiello that "probable" means that there is a "virtual certainty" that the player will be available for normal duty.

So what's the problem? Well, plenty of members of the media perpetuate the 75-percent rule. Publications that have printed the rule incorrectly include the Rocky Mountain News, the Philadelphia Daily News, the Akron Beacon Journal, the Boston Globe, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, the Seattle Times, the Cincinnati Post, the San Diego Union-Tribune, the Oregonian, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Pro Football Weekly, the Green Bay Press-Gazette, the St. Petersburg Times, ESPN.com, and the great and powerful Associated Press. On multiple occasions.

Media outlets that have published the accurate information include the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Boston Herald, the Washington Post, and the Boston Globe. (The Globe is the only publication we've found that has both gotten it right and gotten it wrong.)

We're now learning via industry sources that one of the reasons for the media's misunderstanding of the rule is that some of the teams don't know the correct meaning of the term "probable." And we've discovered that several teams are getting it wrong on their official web sites, including the Eagles, the Dolphins, the Falcons, Chargers, and the Jaguars. Heck, even NFL.com has added to the confusion.

At least three teams, the New England Patriots, the Baltimore Ravens, Green Bay Packers, have gotten it right. (As has, surprisingly, NFL Europe.)

So how can the (betting) public have any faith in what "probable" means when there are two drastically different definitions being applied? It can't.

We've previously argued that the standards should be clarified and/or changed. If "probable" means "virtual certainty," why not change the designation to "virtually certain"? The NFL could still use "probable," and officially make it mean "75 percent."

But, alas, like most of the ideas we float here, this one makes too much sense to ever be adopted.

WEEK THREE INJURY ROUNDUP

Based on the Friday report, here's a look at the injuries of note for Week Three:

Probable: Pats QB Tom Brady (shoulder); Jets QB Chad Pennington (calf); Redskins RB Clinton Portis (shoulder); Jags LB Mike Peterson (knee); Bengals WR Chris Henry (groin); Bengals WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh (heel); Steelers S Troy Polamalu (shoulder); Steelers WR Hines Ward (hamstring); Giants WR Plaxico Burress (knee); Giants TE Jeremy Shockey (ankle); Eagles WR Donte' Stallworth (hamstring); Eagles TE L.J. Smith (shoulder); 49ers TE Vernon Davis (hamstring); Broncos RB Mike Bell (finger); Broncos WR Rod Smith (head); Falcons WR Roddy White (shoulder).

Questionable: Texans CB Phillip Buchanon (ankle); Vikings WR Marcus Robinson (hamstring); Jets WR Laveranues Coles (calf); Bills LB Takeo Spikes (hamstring); Packers RB Ahman Green (hamstring); Jags WR Matt Jones (groin); Jags S Donovin Darius (back); Jags DT Marcus Stroud (ankle); 19 Colts; Titans RB Travis Henry (toe); Titans RB Chris Brown (toe); Santurdio (foot); Panthers WR Steve Smith (thigh); Rams LT Orlando Pace (concussion); Eagles RB Brian Westbrook (knee); Ravens RB Jamal Leiws (thigh); Pats WR Chad Jackson (hamstring).

Doubtful: Jags RB Derrick Wimbush (knee).

Out: Redskins CB Shawn Springs (abdomen); Lions WR Shaun Bodiford (knee); Titans TE Erron Kinney (knee); Panthers LB Dan Morgan (concussion); Bucs G Davin Joseph (knee); Giants WR Sinorice Moss (quadricep); Seahawks TE Jerramy Stevens (knee); Seahawks G Floyd Womack (knee).

POSTED 6:15 p.m. EDT, September 22, 2006

CORNWELL ALLEGES PRETEXTING BY YAHOO!

The always-bizarre Reggie Bush brouhaha has taken yet another weird turn. According to Liz Mullen of the Sports Business Journal, Bush lawyer David Cornwell claims that a Yahoo! Sports reporter employed an investigative device generally known as "pretexting" in order to obtain credit card information regarding Mike Ornstein's sports marketing firm.

Cornwell claims that reporter Dan Wetzel made multiple calls to a Northern California hotel on September 13, posing as an employee of Ornstein's business, SportsLink. Cornwell alleges that Wetzel left a Yahoo! call-back number.

Though such tactics are probably not against the law, they could give rise to civil liability for invasion of privacy.

Wetzel did not immediately return a call from Mullen.

Cornwell also flatly denies the allegations that Ornstein paid for plane fare and other charges relating to trips taken by Bush's parents and brother to USC's 2005 game at Berkeley. "Contrary to Yahoo's report," Cornwell said, Bush’s parents "either paid or prepaid, in cash, for airline tickets, travel expenses, lodging and service charges relating to the trip from San Diego to Oakland."

As we've previously written, we won't take these denials seriously until Bush and/or his parents, Lamar and Denise Griffin, file suit for defamation against the folks who are responsible for these apparent lies.

POSTED 2:45 p.m. EDT, September 22, 2006

THREE CHANCES FOR ANOTHER MNF DOUBLEHEADER

An industry source tells us that ESPN currently is discussing three different scenarios in which a Monday night doubleheader would be broadcast due to potential conflicts with the baseball postseason schedule.

Since we pay no attention at all to Major League Baseball, we had to do a little research to figure out the possible NFL games that could be moved to Monday night and then aired as part of what likely would be 7:00 p.m. and 10:15 p.m. kickoff times.

As reported by the Minnesota and Detroit media on Friday, the October 8 game between the Lions and Vikings would conflict with Game 5 of the American League Division Series involving the Minnesota Twins, if the Twins manage to overcome their current 0.5-game deficit to win the AL Central -- and if the Twins finish with one of the top two records among the three division winners.

If that happens, ESPN would probably (in our estimation) air the Lions at Vikings game at 7:00 p.m. on October 9, and the Ravens at Broncos game at 10:15.

The other two games apparently involve the Oakland Raiders, who share a stadium with the Oakland A's. If the A's make it to the World Series, which due to the All-Star Game victory by the junior circuit would give them home-field advantage, Game Two and Game Seven would conflict with Arizona at Oakland on October 22, and Pittsburgh at Oakland on October 29, respectively.

Both games undoubtedly would start at 10:15 p.m. Eastern, with the Giants at Cowboys getting the 7:00 p.m. start on October 23, and the Pats at Vikings seeing the early kickoff on October 30.

We hope that all three come to fruition, for a couple of reasons. First, we really liked the season-opening double-dip, and many of our readers did, too. Second, we hope someone in a position of power and influence eventually realizes that, for the next round of television contracts, the Monday night package should be sold as a weekly doubleheader.

And this could be the best avenue for expanding the league by two more teams, with one in Los Angeles and the other in a major city with an ownership group willing to shell out a billion or so for a team. By adding two teams to the league, FOX and CBS would not see a net reduction in their Sunday afternoon packages when another game is plucked for the Monday night broadcast.

POSTED 8:12 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 9:57 a.m. EDT, September 22, 2006

SEAHAWKS FEARS REGARDING ALEXANDER A REALITY?

Last season, Seattle running back Shaun Alexander was tearing up the NFL on his way to 1,880 rushing yards and 28 total touchdowns. For his efforts, he was named the league's MVP.

But throughout the 2005 season, the Seahawks (as we'd heard it multiple times) were reluctant to sign him to a big-money contract because they feared that, once he got paid and paid well, Alexander would lose his edge.

In the offseason, Alexander signed a back loaded eight-year, $62 million deal that includes an $11 million signing bonus and a hair under $25 million the first three years.

So is it a coincidence that Alexander has been held to under 100 yards in consecutive games for the first time in two seasons? Sure, he's banged up a bit and Pro Bowl left guard Steve Hutchinson is gone. Alexander says that teams are crowding the line of scrimmage in an effort to shut him down. But it's also possible that the team's concerns regarding Alexander's "I need to get paid" ambition that drove him in both 2004 and 2005 have come to fruition.

Why, you might ask, did the Seahawks re-sign Alexander if they were concerned about his performance after his trip to the bank? Perhaps they feared that he'd jump to cap-rich Arizona, which ultimately gave a big pile of cash to Edgerrin James, or to the 49ers, whose personnel department is now run by former Seattle director of college scouting Scot McCloughan. With either team, Alexander would have had extra motivation twice per year when facing his old team -- and he generally would have been geeked about the prospects of taking the division crown from the franchise that let him go.

Regardless of the reason, Alexander isn't the same guy that he was in 2005. Whether he gets it back will go a long way toward deciding whether the Seahawks can get back to the Super Bowl again.

BUCS DEFENSE GETTING DECIMATED

With defensive end Simeon Rice injuring a knee during practice on Thursday, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers now have five defensive starters listed as questionable for Sunday's make-or-break showdown between the 0-2 Bucs and the 0-2 Panthers.

Rice, cornerback Brian Kelly (toe), defensive tackle Booger McFarland (hip), and Chris "The Great White Hype" Hovan (ankle), and linebacker Ryan Nece (knee) are each a 50-50 proposition to play this weekend.

"We've got a few injuries, but so does everybody else," coach Jon Gruden said. "This is a big-enough game where hopefully the men that are questionable for the game find the strength that they need to play."

Though not as effective as in past years, the Bucs need the defense to be healthy in order to take some heat off of an offense that has been worse-than-pathetic in two games, mustering only three total points.

SNYDER'S SIX FLAGS TO SAVE ON BLACK FLAG

Former ESPN wunderkind Mark Shapiro, who bolted Bristol last year to assist with Redskins owner Dan Snyder's efforts to resurrect the Six Flags amusement park chain, apparently has lost his mojo. And his mind.

How else can anyone explain the decision of Six Flags Great America in Illinois to permit unlimited line jumping for anyone who consumes a Madagascar hissing cockroach?

On a brighter note, the move will help reduce the bug spray line item in the park's budget.

Local health department officials in Illinois caution that the consumption of live roaches can increase the risk of gastrointestinal illness. Park officials disagree, but folks who give it a try will be required to sign a waiver first.

The promotion launches on October 7 and runs through October 29 as part of a Halloween-themed FrightFest.

The move, in our view, reflects more desperation than genius. Sure, it generates some free press for the park, but if the goal is to draw mainstream, free-spending families to Six Flags, we're not so sure that attracting the kinds of folks who'd gobble down a cockroach before jumping on a roller coaster is the best strategy for reeling in the folks who have, and who'll part with, lots of money.

CRIES OF "NO MAAS" CONTINUE

Judd Zulgad of the Minneapolis Star Tribune joins in the chorus of criticism regarding the coverage on FOX of the Week Two Panthers-Vikings game.

Along the way, Zulgad throws a major compliment our way, which might have had a minor impact on our editorial decision to mention his column, calling us a "must read" for NFL fans.

Even more gratifying was Zulgad's condemnation of the broadcast, which featured Goober Pyle in his Sunday best doing the play-by-play and Bill Maas confirming to the world with each and every breath that he's a moron.

It's not the first time Maas has been criticized in print. He was ripped by the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel in October 2005. Wrote radio guy Steve Czaban that same month: "Of all the bad, to really bad announcers in the NFL, Bill Maas retires the trophy for awful. It's not just that he spews clichés and rarely inserts any actual knowledge about what is happening on the field, Maas actually gets MORE CALLS WRONG per game than anybody on TV. It's just incredible how WRONG he is time and time again."

As it turns out, Maas was actually demoted this year by FOX, and will handle fewer games. Let's hope that he gets the hint, and that the only time any of us will be forced to hear his voice in our houses come 2007 is when he's dropping off the pizzas.

FRIDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

The powers-that-be in Motown think that WR Mike Williams will eventually get his sh-t together.

Packers running backs coach Edgar Bennett is trying to get Ahman Green to quit fumbling. (Maybe Bennett should yell, "Hold that ball like it's your wife's throat!")

Cards QB Kurt Warner is having fumble trouble, too. (Maybe someone should yell, "Hold that ball like your wife holds your throat!")

Bengals rookie WR Reggie McNeal is likely to be called up to the active roster for Sunday.

Browns WR Braylon Edwards is trying to get rid of the dropsies.

The Vikings are getting everyone into the act along the defensive line.

The Lions-Vikings game could be moved to Monday, October 9 due to a possible Twins playoff game.

The Rams have found DE Anthony Hargrove, but it's still not clear why he missed practice on Thursday.

RB Ron Dayne is expected to replace Wali Lundy in the Texans' starting lineup on Sunday.

Eagles rookie DT Brodrick Bunkley will get more work this weekend in the team's nickel and dime packages.

Bengals WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh is doing his part to stoke the rivalry with the Steelers.

Panthers S Shaun Williams is doubtful for Sunday with a foot injury.

FOX's Jimmy Johnson returns to the place that he called "Southern Alaska."

Other players don't think there's a problem with Reggie Bush and family getting paid while he was in college.

Santurdio missed practice on Wednesday and Thursday with a foot injury; if he misses practice on Friday, he won't play on Sunday.

POSTED 8:21 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 9:27 p.m. EDT, September 21, 2006

FALCONS LIFTING FROM WVU

The Atlanta Falcons have pumped up their running game by apparently borrowing from the spread-option attack being honed to perfection just up the road from PFT headquarters at West Virginia University.

The Falcons, per the AP, are using a simple device from shotgun formation in which quarterback Mike Vick receives the snap and begins to hand the ball off to tailback Warrick Dunn. Dunn then runs into the line while Vick sprints to the outside. On some plays, one of them has the ball. On other plays, the other one was the ball.

The Mountaineers used this same device to rush for 382 yards against Georgia during the Sugar Bowl, which due to Hurricane Katrina was held on the Falcons' home field only one day after the Falcons were thumped 44-11 on the same turf by the Carolina Panthers in the 2005 season finale.

"You poach," Atlanta coach Jim Mora said. "You look at what is working for other people, whether it is a Pop Warner team or an NFL team."

And in this case, it's a good idea. The Falcons have a fast, mobile quarterback, and a more-than-competent tailback. Ditto for the Mountaineers, who in Pat White and Steve Slaton have arguably the fastest quarterback-tailback combination in all of college football.

It's about time, in our view, that the Falcons tailored their attack to suit the strengths of the team. And if the approach continues to be effective at the pro level, it'll be interesting to see whether other teams acquire fast, mobile quarterbacks in an effort to duplicate it.

It'll also be interesting to see whether someone hires WVU coach Rich Rodriguez to fully implement the spread-option attack at the next level.

SMITH BACK AT PRACTICE

Panthers Steve Smith practiced at close to full speed on Thursday, only one day after he angrily rejected suggestions that his ssssslow recovery from hamstring injuries was influenced by his sssssubstandard contract.

Coincidence?

"You hold your breath, but it looks like he made it through pretty good," coach John Fox said. "He looked good in the things he did on the practice field today. We'll just see how he looks and feels tomorrow."

We have a feeling he'll look pretty damn good, and that he'll play on Sunday against the Buccaneers.

THURSDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

"W" talked to a team that can't manage to finagle one.

Steelers LB Joey Porter has been fined for failing to control his dogs.

Giants TE Jeremy Shockey is complaining about the fact that he played in the team's final preseason game, during which he suffered an ankle injury.

Jets WR Laveranues Coles, who leads the league in receiving yards, is questionable with a calf injury.

The Superdome will be sparkly on Monday night. Like a holiday.

Rams LT Orlando Pace (concussion) practiced on a limited basis on Thursday.

The NFL committee on revenue sharing will meet on October 24.

For the first time ever, all games have been sold out for the first three weeks of the season.

Colts RT Ryan Diem is listed as questionable after suffering a hamstring injury in practice.

POSTED 5:07 p.m. EDT, September 21, 2006

BEN: "I DIDN'T SAY 104"

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger said on Thursday that he didn't tell ESPN's Michelle Tafoya on Monday that his temperature on Monday afternoon was 104 degrees.

Tafoya reported prior to Monday night's Steelers-Jaguars game that Roethsliberger had a fever of 104 at 2:00 p.m. On Tuesday, coach Bill Cowher said that the correct number was 100.4, but Tafoya has since said that she got the word straight from Roethlisberger that it was 104.

"I'm not really sure where she got 104," he said. "You know me, I don't really tell you guys anything. I told [ESPN’s] Chris Berman 100.4. I'm not sure what happened. I'm not going to throw her under the bus by saying she was lying. Who knows what happened."

Here's what should have happened, in our view. Tafoya recognized that 104 sounded kind of high, so she should have made sure that she was hearing the number correctly. And she also should have asked team officials to confirm the reading.

At a bare minimum, she shouldn't have announced the number with the kind of certainty that she would have possessed only if she'd greased up the thermometer herself; instead, she should have told the audience that "Roethlisberger said" his temperature was 104.

MORE THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Thanks to the folks at Deadspin.com for pointing out an entire blog devoted to the talking farm animal known in NFL circles as Bill Maas.

Thanks also to Deadspin and the Mighty MJD for some priceless video of Chad Johnson under the apparent influence of hair bleaching agents after get rocked by Brian Russell.

While we've got the kneepads out, Mighty MJD's letter from Joey Porter's pit bull is freakin' sweet.

Another day, another guy who covers football for a living who doesn't know that "probable" doesn't mean 75 percent chance of playing.

Redskins QB Mark Brunell didn't see the humor in this question: "How does it feel to be 36 and washed up?"

Rams LT Orlando Pace is listed as doubtful for Sunday with a concussion.

Giants TE Jeremy Shockey (ankle) missed practice on Wednesday but is listed as probable.

POSTED 3:31 p.m. EDT, September 21, 2006

HARGROVE AWOL

Bernie Miklasz of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch writes in a message board that he monitors on the paper's web site that Rams defensive end Anthony Hargrove was not at practice on Thursday. "No show at practice . . . no answer on his phones . . . not returning any phone calls . . . not responding to messages left for him," Miklasz writes.

Miklasz adds that Rams coach Scott Linehan has not addressed the situation, but that it's clearly an unexecused absence from practice.

Hargrove, a third-round pick in 2004, is in the final year of his rookie contract. He'll earn $425,000 in base salary this season.

POSTED 12:05 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:12 p.m. EDT, September 21, 2006

FAVRE SAYS TRADE NOT LIKELY

Packers quarterback Brett Favre said on Wednesday that he doesn't expect to be traded during the season to a contending team.

"You know, it all, it sounds great," Favre said. "But to learn a new system -- to basically start over -- the expectations would be so great. And people may say, 'Well, say your season's not going the way you would like it here, at least you could go somewhere else and take a chance at winning.' Well, I'm taking that chance now."

Yeah, Brett, but there's a difference between taking a chance at winning five games and taking a chance at winning, you know, a Super Bowl.

And, as we see it, there is a possibility that Favre gets traded, but it would have to be preceded by either Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck or Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb suffering a serious injury. Without a doubt, Favre would jump-pass at the chance to rejoin the Big Show in Seattle for one more run at glory. And in either city his adjustment would be minimal, since the Seahawks and the Choke-hawks use a system with which Favre is familiar.

Still, this is a subject that Favre should have pondered in the offseason. Really, what more of a hint did he need than the team drafting a quarterback in the first round of the 2005 draft? The powers-that-be in Packerland were paralyzed by the possible perception of Lord Favre being fired, so it was on Brett's shoulders to broach the topic of a trade.

If he'd explored it, he could have landed in New Orleans or Miami or Baltimore for 2006. As it now stands, he's stuck with the Pack for this season, barring an injury to Hasselbeck or McNabb. In 2007, teams that might come sniffing around include (as we see it) the Browns, the Chiefs, the Redskins, the Bucs, and/or the Rams.

For now, the more pressing question is whether his streak of consecutive starts will end not because of injury, but because the team decides that it's time to figure out whether Aaron Rodgers can play.

FISHER LOSING HIS MARBLES?

Titan coach Jeff Fisher, who ranks second behind only Coach Chin in tenure with the same NFL team, went bonkos on Wednesday regarding former Tennessee quarterback Billy Volek, calling him a liar but decining to say what he had lied about.

"I never at anytime in my career have gone into such detail," Fisher said. "But I felt the responsibility, as Billy felt he was thrown under the bus, Billy threw this organization under the bus, along with a number of his teammates."

Okay, fine. What did he do?

"He was untruthful with me, untruthful with his head coach, about where he was and what he was doing. So we started off on the wrong page there, and that did not sit well with me," Fisher said.

It sounds like Fisher is referring to Volek's activities in the offseason. Perhaps while the Titans were dicking around with Steve McNair, locking him out of the facility and taking the issue to arbitration, Volek wasn't lifting enough weights, saying enough prayers, and/or eating enough vitamins.

Regardless, Fisher's suggestion that they "started off on the wrong page" doesn't explain why the team would, on the eve of the regular season, bring in Kerry Collins and put him at the top of the depth chart. If Volek was being such a problem, make the move earlier.

Our guess? Fisher lobbied for the move because he feared that, under Volek, the team would suck and Fisher wouldn't get a new contract to replace the deal that expires after the 2006 season. We also suspect that Fisher and G.M. Floyd Reese, who wouldn't be on the same page while reading a one-sheet newspaper, banged heads on the Collins acquisition as well. Fisher probably had wanted to add Collins for weeks if not months, and Reese probably was resisting it. So then Reese finally agrees to it at a time when it's far too late for Collins to be successful. And now that the Titans suck anyway, they're forced to give up Volek for a pimento loaf sandwich, and Fisher feels even more heat as it's all falling apart.

True? Who knows. But that's what we'll choose to believe, unless and until Fisher tells us what Volek said or did to get himself branded as a liar.

THURSDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander missed practice on Wednesday with a foot injury, but is expected to play on Sunday.

Colts DE Dwight Freeney is questionable for Sunday with an injury to an "obscure muscle" in his leg.

The Fins have signed G Will Whitticker.

T.O. might not miss any games despite having a broken finger.

Browns coach Romeo Crennel says he's the one "calling the shots" (but the question is for how much longer?).

The NFL isn't fining Browns S Brian Russell for the schwap he put on Bengals WR Chad Johnson. (We can already hear Michael Irvin trying clumsily to tie this decision to race.)

The Bears have moved rookie S Danieal Manning into the starting lineup.

Eagles RB Brian Westbrook is questionable with a lingering knee problem.

The Cowboys-Eagles game set for October 8 won't be moved.

Four defensive starters are questionable for the Bucs (we've seen them play this year -- "questionable" is a high compliment).

Taz acknowledges that he was hampered by a shoulder problem on Monday night.

QB Tommy Maddox could be returning to the XFL; he has worked out for the Raiders.

Hey, Steve Reed -- if you're going to weigh in on the Steve Smith situation, why not address how his contract compares to those of other elite receivers?

We wonder whose initials Phil Simms has tattooed on his leg?

POSTED 8:26 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 10:36 a.m. EDT, September 21, 2006

STEVE SAYS HE'S NOT FAKING IT

Panthers receiver Steve Smith insisted on Wednesday that he's not embellishing a hamstring injury due to dissatisfaction with his contract.

"For the people who are insulting me and this organization, who think I'm going to stoop down to that level, that's not me," Smith said. "There are a lot of other things I can be doing if I'm holding out. [Editor's note: Such as . . . sucker punching a teammate in the film room?] I can go home. I can go to the lake house with my family. I can do a lot of things more important than to make a [fool] out of myself and the organization. You're foolish to think that."

Though the AP continues to refuse to acknowledge us in print, Wednesday's story at least implicitly recognized our existence with this paragraph: "Last week, an Internet site speculated that Smith might be sitting out to gain leverage for a new contract. The Tampa Tribune repeated the rumor this week."

Again, we're not saying that Smith is milking the injury so that the Panthers can realize how crappy they'd be without him. (By the way, if it's a ploy -- it's working.) But a growing number of league insiders who have considered Smith's substandard contract, his history of erratic behavior (such as sucker punching a teammate in the film room), and the inherently subjective nature of the resolution of hamstring injuries believe that there could be a connection.

And if there is, if Smith has decided to take this route, does anyone expect him to admit it?

"If I want to sit out, if I'm trying to make a point, Deion Branch is a great example of making a point," said Smith. "Sitting out with a real pulled hamstring, that's not the way to go. It's sickening, actually. All the stuff I had to go through -- the treatments, the surgery on my toe. There's a shorter route to go than all the stuff I went through the last 10 weeks."

But there are reasons to not follow the Deion Branch path. About 14,000 of them, per day. And then there's the $9 million in bonus money that Smith received in 2004. Depending on the specific language of Smith's deal, he could have been facing upwards of $6 million in repayment obligations if he had opted to breach his contract by holding out.

Bottom line -- Smith has a bad contract in comparison to other high end receivers, talks reported in June regarding an extension have gone nowhere, he hasn't played yet this year due to a leg muscle injury that is sufficiently fuzzy to permit player embellishment, and he denies that he's trying to make a statement to the team by not playing.

None of that means Smith is faking. But it doesn't mean that he isn't, either.

REVOLT COMING IN CLEVELAND?

We'll admit that this story isn't the result of any scientific research on our behalf (as if anything we ever do is "scientific"). However, we firmly believe based upon the flood of e-mails we've received over the past few days that folks in Cleveland are inching dangerously close to storming Browns headquarters and seizing control of the team.

We've ripped players in the past for airing out a team's dirty brown towels to the media, but we have never, ever received anything like the mountain of messages unequivocally supporting -- and thanking -- tight end Kellen Winslow for saying what the fans firmly believe needs to be said.

Though, on the surface, Winslow was stupid to sound off on the struggles of the team's offense and his role in it, the hidden genius of his tactic is that he is now the most beloved Brown since Bernie Kosar.

And we strongly suggest that the organization pay close attention to this one. A mutiny is coming unless changes are made. The primary target of the fans' venom is offensive coordinator Maurice Carthon, but it remains to be seen whether he gets the shoe. After all, it was head coach Romeo Crennel who saw fit to hire Carthon, and Crennel is smart enough to know that dumping Mo is an implicit indictment of the decision to give him the job.

But if the offensive output doesn't improve, and if Carthon doesn't get crap-canned, the wrath will be re-directed at Crennel.

Ultimately, however, we think the fans need to scrutinize ownership. Chronically bad organizations (e.g., the Lions, the Cardinals, the Saints, and until lately the Bengals) have bad owners. The Browns generally have been terrible since returning to the league in 1999. Though the problems can be laid at the feet of a string of bungling execs from Dwight Clark to Carmen Policy to Butch Davis to John Collins, someone had to decide that it was a good idea to hire them, and the buck goes no higher than the owner.

And, frankly, Randy Lerner is a big step backward, by all appearances, from his father, Al.

After Roger Goodell was elected to become the new Commissioner, Policy praised Goodell for unflinchingly telling Al Lerner in 1998 that in order to land the reconstituted Browns franchise he had to be willing to pay more than anyone else. Maybe if the league had focused less on further lining the owners' pockets and more on ensuring that the ownership group was in the best position of the various candidates to put a successful product on the field, the fans in Cleveland wouldn't be ready to revolt.

So we can't believe we're saying this, but keep it up, K2. Like Maximus in Gladiator, you've won over the mob -- and that might be enough to eventually take down Commodus.

NEW POWER RANKINGS ARE UP

Another week, another look-see at how the 32 NFL teams stack up. For the full list, click here.

Who's number 1? Who's number 13? Where does your sorry-ass team fit in? There's only one way to find out.

FRIDAY IS NFL FAN DAY FROM SPRINT

There's still no better time to ditch your current cellular plan (unless it's with Sprint or Nextel) and switch to Sprint. On every Friday in September, Sprint NFL Fan Days allow NFL aficionados in selected areas to obtain a $50 service credit on a voice plan when activating a Sprint phone. Fans also can take advantage of exclusive NFL-themed offers each and every Friday this month.

The next Friday NFL Fan Day from Sprint is Friday (duh), September 22, and the offer is available at Sprint stores, Sprint-branded authorized retailers, and Sprint kiosks in the following markets: all NFL cities; Los Angeles; Columbus, Ohio; Louisville/Lexington, Kentucky; Evansville, Indiana; Youngstown, Ohio; Canton/Akron, Ohio; Providence, Rhode Island; Western Michigan; Northern New Jersey; Central New Jersey; Long Island; Southern and Northern Connecticut.

So get your rear end to a Sprint location and get that Sprint phone we've been telling you to buy for months now.

Or get two. To prove that we put our pocketbook where our piehole is, we just bought another one for Florio Jr. -- the swanky Fusic by LG, which doubles as an MP3 player.

The Fusic and every other Sprint phone is available through the links on this page. Or you can show up on Friday at a Sprint store in one of the designated markets and tell them that PFT sent you (and that you nevertheless decided to go anyway).

POSTED 8:46 p.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

TAFOYA STICKS TO HER STORY

ESPN's Michelle Tafoya insists that she was told before Monday night's game that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had a temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit roughly six hours before kickoff.

"I spoke with Ben directly, 90 minutes before the game," Tafoya told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. "I said, 'What's your temperature?' He said it was 104 at two o'clock. When he said that, I thought, 'I can't believe he's out here.' If he said 100.4 to me, I would have said, 'That's not very high, unless it's a toddler.' I never would have gone with anything I didn't believe he had said."

Our guess? Tafoya heard it right, but Big Ben was engaged in a little puffing. It wouldn't be the first time.

After the 2004 AFC title game, Roethlisberger claimed that he played with two broken toes on his right foot. Coach Bill Cowher said at the time that Big Ben had no busted piggies.

And who can ever forget Roethlisberger's claim that he was within seconds of death of June 12 due to blood that was flowing uncontrollably from his throat into his stomach after he smashed his head into a moving car? We're still waiting for a full explanation from the guy with the X-ray vision, who then reached inside Ben's gullet and applied a really big Band Aid and/or splint to the otherwise mortal wound.

Yeah, we think Ben is full of crap sometimes. It goes with being dumb and/or gullible. Because guys who are dumb and/or gullible assume everyone else is, too.

With that said, Tafoya should have run Roethlisberger's claim by a few other folks within the organization before reporting it as gospel truth.

POSTED 8:32 p.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

PORTER'S PIT BULLS KILL MINI-BARBARO

Steelers linebacker Joey Porter had something to deal with on Tuesday other than his team's piss-poor performance on Monday night in Jacksonville.

Two of Porter's pit bulls escaped from his property, ran to a nearby farm, and killed a horse.

Okay, it was a miniature horse. But it was still a horse.

Authorities plan to file charges against Porter for harboring unsafe dogs and failing to confine his dogs.

POSTED 7:51 p.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

SPENCER GETS $8.5 MILLION GUARANTEED

He's a guy who faced Antonio Bryant and Larry Fitzgerald in practice, but wasn't invited to the scouting combine. After a stellar Pro Day workout, however, cornerback Shawntae Spencer catapulted into the second round of the draft.

And he's now getting paid.

We've confirmed that the 49ers have signed Spencer to a five-year extension. Roger Phillips of the Oakland Tribune reports that the deal includes a $6 million signing bonus. We've learned that the total guaranteed money is $8.5 million, and that the deal averages $4.3 million per year.

Per NFLPA records, Spencer will earn a base salary of $425,000 in 2006, $510,000 in 2007, $680,000 in 2008, $1.67 million in 2009, $2.85 million in 2010, $3.1 million in 2011, and $3.2 million in 2012.

Spencer, drafted by the 49ers in 2004, was playing under a rookie deal that would have expired after the 2007 season.

POSTED 4:51 p.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

PHILLY FANS TO CHUCK SNOWBALLS AT T.O., AFTER ALL?

Thanks to the reader who pointed out to us the possibility, as reported by the Trenton Times, that the Eagles' October 8 home date with the Dallas Cowboys and receiver Terrell Owens might be moved to Christmas Day, when the two teams currently are scheduled to exchange Holiday pleasantries in Big D.

Per the report, the looming likelihood of an October 8 playoff game for baseball's Philadelphia Phillies could force a flip-flopping of the annual home-and-home affair.

Before the 2006 schedule was announced, there were reports that the Eagles and Cowboys would indeed meet in Philly on December 25. We suspected at the time that the NFL decided at the last minute to move the game to Dallas after realizing the potential for an ugly scene in the City of Brotherly Love on Christmas Day, especially if there is any snow in the stands. How else, in the end, could the Eagles have ended up with three consecutive road games against division foes in the critical month of December?

Even though the Eagles and Phillies no longer play in the same stadium, the hosting of games at both venues on the same day could create all sorts of logistical issues.

An alternative to moving the Philly game to Dallas, and vice-versa, would be shifting the Cowboys at Eagles game to Monday night, with ESPN broadcasting another doubleheader on October 9 (Baltimore at Denver would be the late game). But if the Phillies game is rained out on Sunday, then the same problem would arise on Monday.

For now, then, we'll simply continue to ponder the possibility of a petulant pass-catcher being pelted by piss-covered snowballs on a night that would be anything but silent, or holy.

POSTED 11:36 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 2:36 p.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

DID ART SHELL PULL A JERRY PORTER?

Last week, Raiders receiver Jerry Porter 'splained away allegations that he was seen celebrating sacks of Oakland quarterback Aaron Brooks by admitting that he wasn't paying attention to the game.

As John Ryan of the San Jose Mercury News points out, Porter's boss apparently followed the disgruntled wideout's lead on Sunday at Baltimore.

Ryan writes that, while being asked questions about the possible connection between the use of the seven-step drop and the near-beheading of Raider quarterbacks by opposing defenses, Shell said, "We did not use the seven-step drop — maybe twice during the whole course of this game. The seven-step drop is not the problem."

But Ryan wasn't buying it. He first contacted CBS analyst Steve Tasker, who worked the Raiders-Ravens game. "I dispute that,” Tasker said as to Shell's contention. "I don't think so. I don't agree with that."

Ryan took it one step farther, contacting Ron "Gloria Vanderbilt Collection" Jaworski of ESPN, who broke down the film and found a baker's dozen of seven-step drops, up from 10 against the Chargers.

And despite having an offensive line so porous that it couldn't even block an artery, the Raiders used no three-step drops against San Diego, and two against the Ravens. Likewise, there were no rollouts against the Chargers -- and only one against the Ravens.

Ryan concludes (and we agree) that Shell wasn't lying about the use (or lack thereof) of seven-step drops. Why would he? The film shows what it shows. Instead, Ryan believes (and we agree) that Shell simply didn't realize that offensive coordinator Tom Walsh was consistently putting the team's quarterbacks on a tee . . . and inviting Ray Lewis and company to swing away.

STEVE SMITH RUMOR SPREADS (OR DOES IT?)

A reader sent an e-mail this morning advising us that the Tampa Tribune is reporting that Panthers receiver Steve Smith isn't playing because of his contract, not because of his hamstring(s).

We rushed to the site, anxious to see something/anything that would lend credence to the suspicions of some league insiders (posted right here last week) that Smith's hamstrings are being influenced by his purse strings.

As it turns out, the "report" is a throwaway line in the eleventh paragraph of a rambling item: "Rumors are filtering out of Charlotte that Smith is healthy enough to play but is disgruntled with his contract situation."

Man, is that sloppy. At least we explained when floating this nugget a week ago that league insiders are merely speculating about the possibility that Smith is jaking it, and we were careful to point out that there are no facts to support the suspicions. The Trib, in contrast, lobs a hand grenade onto the dinner table and then moves on, with no effort to explain where the rumors come from, or whether or not the rumors are valid.

Based on past practices of the publication in question (which as a member of the "real" media should be held to a higher standard than crapholes like ours), we wouldn't be surprised to learn that the Trib is merely parroting our speculation from a week ago. If not, then Ira Kaufman (Editor's note: The prior version of this item had a very unfortunate typo), the writer of the piece, should tell us where these "rumors" are coming from.

IRVIN TEN-PACK ITEM STIRS THE POT

We've received plenty of e-mail messages from readers who firmly believe that Michael Irvin's asinine comments from Monday on ESPN Radio's Dan Patrick Show should result in Irvin being run off of the air as quickly as Rush Limbaugh was dumped three years ago.

As explained in our latest PFT Ten-Pack (yeah, we're pimping the thing), Irvin said while visiting with Patrick and Keith Olbermann on Monday that Bucs defensive tackle Chris Hovan was the recipient of considerable hype earlier in his career because he is white. Irvin also suggested that black players aren't hyped.

You know, we've looked at this thing 88 different ways, and we really can't discern any difference between Irvin suggesting that a defensive tackle was hyped due to his skin color and Limbaugh saying essentially the same thing about Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb.

And just like Limbaugh's comments, which drew no immediate negative reaction from Irvin or Tom Jackson, both of whom were sitting right there when the statements were made, Irvin's words garnered no rebuke from Patrick or Olbermann. Sure, they challenged his contention -- but they said nothing about whether Irvin's words crossed the same line over which Limbaugh leaped.

So should Irvin be fired? Well, it's hard for us to be objective on this one because we already have a Lutheranesque list of reasons that we could tack to the landing gear of George Bodenheimer's jet. In our view, Irvin's most recent views aren't necessarily evidence of racism but of complete and total stupidity. For that reason alone, we think that the Playmaker should get a haymaker to the fudgemaker.

POSTED 8:43 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 10:00 a.m. EDT, September 20, 2006

AGENTS LINE UP AGAINST UPSHAW IDEA

We've talked to and heard from several NFL agents over the past few days regarding NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw's proposed plan to ban any contact with college players until they are eligible to enter the draft.

And their voices are unanimous -- it's a bad, bad idea.

As we've previously explained, if the rule is changed so dramatically, the agents who are already paying college players and/or their families (and you know who you are) will continue to find ways to pay college players and/or their families.

Meanwhile, the guys who follow the rules won't even have a voice in the process while others are handing out cash, cars, and/or clothing.

The other strong argument against the rule is that it will leave players with very little time to make a decision about an agent, since the pre-draft preparations begin not long after the college season ends. This will, as we've previously mentioned, create an unfair advantage for agents who have a connection with college head coaches -- and it surely will create a cottage industry for some college coaches who'll choose to convert increased influence into a little side revenue of their own.

One league insider anticipates that Upshaw's idea will be the subject of much discussion over the next several months, and that after folks have had a chance to provide reasoned input the rules won't be changed. The source compared it to the process that arose in connection with efforts to reduce the maximum agent fees from three percent to two percent; after the agents had a chance to explain the potential consequences of the reduction, the ceiling stayed at three percent.

And as several league insiders have suggested, the far better course of action for the NFLPA and the NCAA would be to devote increased resources to the enforcement of current rules prohibiting payment. Clearly, the powers-that-be know that the current rules are being broken. NFLPA general counsel Richard Berthelsen recently told the Washington Post, "The rumors every year about who's doing what are voluminous. We're not only talking about what's been revealed about [the Reggie Bush] situation, but others that we hear about."

Berthelsen's right -- there are plenty of rumors. Last year, we caught wind of some shocking stuff about brazen efforts of one agent to funnel money to players at multiple schools. And if we're in a position to hear this stuff, the NFLPA is in a position to hear it, too.

The next logical step, then, is to act on it.

How hard would it be to institute a system for investigating these rumors? Working in conjunction with the NCAA, the NFLPA could explore phone records, bank deposits, major purchases, etc. We've previously suggested the use of a sting operation aimed at shutting down agents who pay players. If you catch only one guy this way, it will deter 50 others from doing it.

Really, any enforcement effort will be better than what the NFLPA currently is doing, which by all appearances is nothing at all. So instead of wasting time pushing through an extreme, bright-line rule that if anything will exacerbate the problem, why not focus resources instead on coming up with a creative way to enforce the rules already on the books?

Like so many other ideas, that one likely makes too much sense to ever be adopted.

K2 CATCHES PLENTY OF FLAK

Dozens of Browns fans sent us angry e-mails defending tight end Kellen Winslow's recent comments to the media because, as they reasoned, his criticism of the team's offense was accurate. However, league insiders recognize that Winslow should not, under any circumstances, be taking internal team issues to the press. Even if he's "right".

"What an asshole," said one league source. "This guy has played in four of a possible 34 games in his NFL career and he has the balls to criticize the coaching? What the hell does he know? He lost an entire season due to stupidity and he is going to publicly pass judgment on decision making?"

The "stupidity" to which the source refers is Winslow's May 2005 motorcycle accident. He crashed his crotch rocket while attempting to perform a trick, and emerged with a torn ACL.

"The organization stuck behind him when they didn't have to," the source added. "They should have cut their losses and moved on when they had the opportunity. He will always be the same old asshole. He is not a winner. You can't win with people like him.

"Some people thought life might have humbled this asshole a little. Clearly it hasn't."

We fully agree. The team doesn't need to have Winslow -- or anyone else -- sounding off to the media about coaching issues or any other problems that should be handled within the organization. Guys that don't understand this basic concept of "team" shouldn't be a part of this or any other "team".

The source added that the Browns might even want to consider cutting him, in order to send a message to the rest of the roster about what will and what won't be tolerated. Though we doubt that such a move would happen during the 2006 season, we think Winslow could be in greater jeopardy down the line unless his on-field performances improve dramatically -- or his off-field performances end completely.

MORE ON MAAS

Among other things, our latest PFT Ten-Pack feature takes several shots at FOX analyst Bill Maas, whose performance during Sunday's Panthers-Vikings game was (in our opinion) absolutely terrible.

And we've now realized, thanks to a reader e-mail, that we failed to mention one of the biggest blunders committed by Maas during the broadcast.

At the coin flip for the overtime period, Maas announced that, if the Panthers win the toss, they should elect to kick.

Congratulations, Bill -- you are now officially qualified to work for the Detroit Lions.

Folks, it's sudden-death overtime. You take the ball and hope for the best.

If, of course, there's a 30 mph wind blowing toward one end of the field, then that might be a reason to depart from the hard-and-fast rule that you always, always take the ball when one score ends the game. Otherwise, you might as well fire the offensive coordinator and bench the quarterback, because not taking the ball is a strong statement to the offense that you have no confidence in it.

Sure, the Panthers still lost the game. But the Minnesota drive that resulted in the game-winning field goal started at the Vikings' 21, thanks to a Jason Baker punt with a 47-yard net. So at least the Panthers had a chance to steal the game before the Vikes drove the ball right down their throats from roughly the spot where they would have had it if Carolina had opted to kick.

MORE RADIO STUFF

For anyone interested (all four of you) in hearing our periodic PFT appearances on radio, a couple of our Tuesday spots are available for your listening pleasure. WDAE in Tampa archives our visits with Steve Duemig right here, and our pal Joey DiGiacomo of Sporting News Radio sends us every week the segment with Todd Wright.

We've also made a return visit with the folks at AOL Sports Bloggers Live, which from time to time uses the Poobah to help keep the show's "guest quality average" down in a somewhat reasonable range. Other guests have included folks like Jim Brown, Mike Schmidt, Roger Clemens, and Jerry Rice.

POSTED 7:52 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 8:53 p.m. EDT, September 19, 2006

KEARSE AVOIDS TRIFECTA

A league source tells us that Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse has suffered a torn MCL and PCL in his left knee, but that the ACL is not torn.

That's good news (sort of) for Kearse, since the repair and rehab of a torn ACL is a difficult, arduous process.

The source says that Kearse will be evaluated soon by Miami surgeon Dr. John Uribe, who repaired within the past couple of years a torn MCL and PCL suffered by Jags running back Fred Taylor. Surgery could be performed as early as next week.

Meanwhile, the Eagles have placed Kearse on injured reserve, ending his season. To take his place on the active roster, the Eagles promoted CB Dustin Fox, a former third-round draft pick of the Vikings who joined the Eagles' practice squad earlier this year.

GEORGE BLANDA SIGNS WITH FALCONS

Okay, so it's not George Blanda who has inked a contract to kick for the Atlanta Falcons. But it's pretty close.

Morten Andersen, who entered the league 24 years ago, has joined the Falcons, according to Jay Glazer of FOXSports.com.

He has kicked for the Saints, Falcons, Chiefs, Giants, and Vikings, racking up an impressive 2,358 career points. He last was active in 2004.

Andersen will relieve Michael Koenen, the punter and kickoff specialist who missed four field goals against Tampa Bay on Sunday.

RADIO TONIGHT

Check out the Poobah on WIP in Philly at 9:25 p.m. EDT with Glen Macnow, and one hour later on Sporting News Radio with Todd Wright.

Earlier today, we did our weekly spots on WFNZ with Chris McClain and WDAE in Tampa, with Steve Duemig.

PFT TEN-PACK: WEEK TWO

We're back with a weekly Ten-Pack of observations, available right here. Click the link, and check out our ten takes regarding this past week's slate of games -- and the coverage thereof.

Among other things, we take another slap at Joey Sunshine, and we think we've found a game analyst who might be even worse.

TUESDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

The Saints have sold out all season tickets for the first time in team history.

Colts coach Tony Dungy says that he kept his starting offense in longer than he had intended against Houston because those pesky Texans decided to start scoring points.

Browns CB Daylon McCutcheon is out for the year with a knee injury.

Folks in 9.81 million homes were put to sleep by Monday night's "defensive struggle," which was only slightly less exciting than the No. 1 cable program of all time -- a debate between Al Gore and Ross Perot.

Bennie Anderson is the third Dolphins left guard to be out for the season; Kendyl Jacox has the chance to be No. 4.

The Cowboys have signed LB Bradie James to a five-year, $20 million extension, with an $8 million signing bonus.

Falcons RB Warrick Dunn is in danger of busting into a thousand little pieces.

Al-Jazeera has Superdome credentials for the Monday night game between the Falcons and the Saints.

POSTED 2:19 p.m. EDT, September 19, 2006

BEN'S TEMPERATURE WASN'T 104

Steelers coach Bill Cowher said on Tuesday that, contrary to a report from Michelle Tafoya of ESPN, Ben Roethlisberger's pre-game body temperature wasn't 104 degrees, but only 100.4 degrees.

"Somebody miscalculated a decimal point," Cowher said. (Actually, that would have made Ben's temperature 1004. We're not doctors, but that sounds a little high to us.)

In hindsight, we should have realized that Tafoya's head was in her tookis. As one reader pointed out to us, when you've got a 104-degree fever, you don't call an audible -- you call a priest.

POSTED 12:08 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 12:37 p.m. EDT, September 19, 2006

CHARGERS TO ACQUIRE VOLEK

The San Diego Chargers will send an undisclosed draft pick to the Titans for veteran quarterback Billy Volek, according to Chris Mortensen of ESPN.

The Chargers had offered a sixth-round pick, per John Clayton of ESPN. The Titans reportedly wanted a fifth-rounder.

Because Volek's contract contains a no-trade clause, his blessing was necessary as to any potential deal. However, Volek's unhappiness in Tennessee has become increasingly obvious. He was the presumed opening-day starter until the team unexpectedly signed Kerry Collins. Volek has been the No. 3 man on the depth chart through the first two games of the season.

The trade will give the Chargers three quarterbacks, with Volek and Charlie Whitehurst backing up starter Philip Rivers. In 2005, the Chargers sent quarterback Cleo Lemon to the Dolphins for A.J. Feeley and a late-round pick. Feeley was cut before the start of the 2006 season.

For the Titans, the move means that its top two quarterbacks from 2005 were both traded away to AFC foes. Steve McNair is now the starter in Baltimore, and Volek will end up as No. 2 (at best) with the Chargers.

Volek is under contract through 2007. He'll earn a base salary of $1 million in 2006, and $1.25 million next season.

TUESDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Coach Kevlar says he won't be benching QB Jake Plummer in favor of rookie Jay Cutler.

Farewell, Mo-Clo. See ya next decade.

The Broncos have signed WR Quincy Morgan, and have released WR Charlie Adams.

David Pollack becomes the rare Bengals player who'll wear a halo.

That annoying dirt infield could be permanently disappearing from the Black Hole.

Looks like T.O. can spend the next few weeks eating popcorn off of the plate in his hand.

The 49ers aren't troubled by WR Antonio Bryant's in-game histrionics.

Cards RB Edgerrin James is averaging 68.5 rushing yards per game.

The Colts are awaiting MRI results for DE Dwight Freeney, K Adam Vinatieri, and WR Brandon Stokley.

Panthers coach John Fox takes the blame for a botched lateral on a fourth-quarter punt return against the Vikings.

With Raiders QB Aaron Brooks out 2-to-4 weeks with a strained pec, QB Andrew Walter will get his first start.

Bucs coach Jon Gruden says that QB Chris Simms won't be getting benched.

POSTED 8:52 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 10:04 a.m. EDT, September 19, 2006

KEARSE REPORTS CONFUSING

Depending on what you read and/or hear, Eagles defensive end Jevon Kearse has multiple knee ligament sprains or tears.

The difference would appear to be significant. But what the hell do we know?

Sprained ligaments usually heal without surgical intervention. Torn ligaments (except for partial tears to the rope-like MCL) usually don't.

We can't recall ever hearing of a guy suffering sprained knee ligaments early in the season and being unable to return to the field. In 1995, Rod Woodson of the Steelers tore an ACL Week One and was back for the Super Bowl.

We're trying to track down more info on this one. Stay tuned.

K2 LIGHTS THE C4

Browns TE Kellen Winslow is reminding the football world that: (1) he has a mouth; (2) he's willing to use it; and (3) we might not always understand what he's saying with his foot wedged in it.

On Monday, Winslow ripped into the coaching staff, exhorting them to be more aggressive on offense: "Some of the coaches might just be holding us back a little bit," Winslow said, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. "I don't mean to try to go behind their backs or whatever [Editor's note: Apparently, he's going behind their backs inadvertently], but let's go, let's air it out, let's run the ball, let's make plays, let's be exciting.

"I think we're being a little too conservative right now and we just need to unleash it," Winslow added. "Why wait? We're 0-2. We've got nothing to lose."

Winslow also is miffed that he's not on the field on third downs. "It's very frustrating," Winslow said. "We're losing and I'm not on the field. And I just don't get it. . . . The Giants run the same system as we do, the Cowboys run the same system as we do and [Jeremy] Shockey and [Jason] Witten are on the field on third down. I just don't understand why I'm not on the field sometimes."

By the way, we got a huge kick out of another one of Winslow's lines, which reminded us of the classic Cleavon Little sound bite from Blazing Saddles. "We were run-first oriented and that's fine," Winslow said. "But we were down, 14-3, in the first quarter, so we've got to whip the plays out and let's go."

Winslow explained that he has raised his concerns with coach Romeo Crennel, and that Winslow believes Crennel will take care of the problem. But given Winslow's decision to go public with his complaints, we're not so sure he'll be getting any satisfaction.

Indeed, the issue already has Crennel on the defensive. "He's not a wide receiver, first of all, so when you go three wides, he's not there," Crennel said. "I think you need to look at those plays that were run when we had that personnel group in the game and see if his presence would have made a difference on the plays that were called or not -- before we jump to conclusions about whether he should be on the field or not."

Of course, a tight end can be used with three receivers if the team goes with only one running back. But such logic might be lost on Crennel at a time when putting Winslow on the field on third down will lend credence to the notion that a player can get his way merely by bitching to the media about it.

Our guess? Crennel will be having a heart-to-heart with Winslow, and soon. Among other things, Romeo might want to remind K2 that his father, K1, never pulled a stunt like this during his entire career.

Then again, Kellen Winslow Sr. never had to bitch about not being on the field on third down; he was so good on first and second down that leaving him out there all the time was a no-brainer.

So the ultimate message to K2 is this -- make more of the chances you're getting, and you'll then get more chances.

And p.s.: Shut the hell up.

TUESDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

The union seems to be serious about restricting agent access to college players (and we're beginning to believe more and more strongly that it's a mistake).

Pork Chop will be sitting on his rump roast for up to six weeks.

Redskins RB Clinton Portis says that he will play on Sunday against the Texans.

The momentum is gathering for Uncle Rico to take over the offense.

Redskins coach Joe Gibbs says he won't bench QB Mark Brunell. (Gibbs might drive him out to the woods and kill him, but he won't bench him.)

Hey, if the Steelers are willing to pay someone $1.5 million per year to watch the game from the sidelines, where do we sign up?

Bucs CB Brian Kelly is struggling with turf toe.

Bucs RB Cadillac Williams has 59 yards rushing through two games.

Lions LB Alex Lewis is week-to-week with a sprained knee.

Rams LB Pisa Tinoisamoa has a "full dislocation" of his elbow.

POSTED 7:10 p.m. EDT, September 18, 2006

BIG BEN NEEDS MORE COW BELL

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is recovered from his appendectomy of 15 days ago, but Michelle Tafoya of ESPN reports that Roethlisberger now has a fever (she actually said he has a "temperature" -- but we all do, honey).

Roethlisberger's temperature was as high as 104 earlier this afternoon.

He's expected to start on Monday night against the Jaguars, but the team continues to be coy about his availability. If he can't go, backup Charlie Batch (or, as Michael Irvin inadvertently called him during Monday's Dan Patrick Show on ESPN Radio, Charlie Bitch) will try to build on his 1-0 record.

POSTED 7:05 p.m. EDT, September 18, 2006

INJURIES TAKE TOLL ON TRIO OF TEAMS

Three potential playoff contenders must continue their quest for the postseason with one less starter each.

In Philly, defensive end Jevon Kearse is done for the year with multiple torn ligaments in his left knee. Kearse's injury occurred during overtime of the Eagles' home loss to the Giants, making him another casualty of the 17-point lead that the Eagles squandered in the fourth quarter.

In Minnesota, the surprising 2-0 Vikings will be required to proceed without defensive end Erasmus James, a 2005 first-round pick. James tore an ACL against the Panthers and is out for the season.

In Cincinnati, linebacker David Pollack won't return in 2006 due to a broken neck. ("I think he broke his freakin' neck," said Richard Kiel from his seat way, way above field level.)

POSTED 8:33 a.m. EDT; UPDATED 9:40 a.m. EDT, September 18, 2006

ACTIONS OF "DEFIANT" BUSH SPEAK VOLUMES

On Sunday's Football Night in America (and Portions of California), Peter King said that Saints running back Reggie Bush was "defiant" in his position that he won't lose the Heisman as a result of the current brouhaha engulfing Bush and his family.

But league insiders who have studied the allegations that Bush and his family received payments and other benefits while still eligible to play college football at USC believe that Bush is merely carrying out a strategy aimed at protecting his public image.

It's also possible that lawyer David Cornwell and others intentionally have kept the 21-year-old Bush in the dark regarding the potential consequences of the situation, so that his defiance will come off as credible. Indeed, Charley Casserly of CBS said on Sunday that he asked Bush point blank in April if he accepted money or otherwise did anything to render himself ineligible while at USC. Bush said no. Asked by Casserly how his parents were paying the rent on a house that was by all appearances above and beyond their means, Bush said that he had no idea.

However, if it's proven that Bush's family was receiving benefits from a prospective marketing agent, that's enough for the NCAA to find that Bush lost his eligibility -- even if he didn't know what was happening. Any other rule would give a player's parents license to harvest as much cash and free stuff as possible, as long as the kid wasn't told about any of it.

The key, as one league insider explained on Sunday night, is the fact that no one has filed suit for defamation against any of the persons who are claiming that payments were made to Bush and/or his family: Brian Watkins, counsel for New Era Sports and Entertainment; sports memorabilia dealer Bob DeMartino; and/or Yahoo! Sports.

Though on one hand it could be argued that Bush and his advisers regard filing suit as a "low road" approach, there are indications that Bush's lawyer David Cornwell has tried to scare New Era away by instigating an FBI investigation, which if true hardly would be considered a high road tactic. Likewise, Bush's marketing agent, Mike Ornstein, has a reputation for responding aggressively to news items that undermine his interests.

"If it's not true," said one source, "they should sue. By not suing, they're sending a subtle message that it is true."

Despite the fact that public figures claiming that they have been defamed must show actual malice on the part of those who tell tales about them, the circumstances surrounding the statements made by Watkins and DeMartino could support a finding that their motives were malicious. If, for example, Cornwell thinks that New Era's efforts against the Bushes are part of a broader plan to extort money from the family, then any misstatements regarding the benefits allegedly given to the family necessarily would have been made with actual malice. Likewise, if DeMartino is merely getting back at Ornstein for a business deal gone bad, DeMartino's alleged lies regarding Ornstein arguably are tainted with malice.

So even though the notion that Bush is "defiant" in his denials might sound good in a ten-second sound bite, the fact that Bush has done nothing to vindicate himself is, to the trained eye, evidence that he is merely saying what he has to say in order to keep his sponsors at the table for as long as possible.

MONDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Eagles fans are bracing for bad news regarding DE Jevon Kearse's knee.

Tony Kornheiser keeps his tongue in his cheek while putting his nose in the ass of Jacksonville.

Texans rookie LT Charles Spencer is out for the season with a broken leg.

Bills LB London Fletcher-Something (or is it Something-Fletcher?) thinks that Fins QB Daunte Culpepper isn't fully healed from his knee operation.

Eagles coach Andy Reid takes the blame for his team's collapse.

The replay officials apparently were sucking down cheese steaks in overtime when Eagles S Brian Dawkins apparently made an interception that wasn't called on the field -- and wasn't reviewed.

Colts DE Dwight Freeney left Sunday's game with an undisclosed injury.

The Titans suffered their worst loss since a decade before they even were the Titans.

Billy Volek says it's time to "move on" (or move out).

Uncle Rico gets his first touchdown pass, without having to throw the ball over that mountain.

Redskins OT Jon Jansen made like Sgt. Schulz in his meeting with the league regarding steroids.

Jaws says that Lord Favre's skills have diminished.

Falcons P/K Michael Koenen might be doing more P-ing than K-ing in the future after missing four field goals on Sunday.

Raiders QB Aaron Brooks suffered a shoulder injury while trying to recover a fumble on Sunday; he'll have an MRI on Monday. (And for possibly the first time in sports history, the guy getting the MRI is hoping for bad news.)

Seahawks LG Pork Chop Womack and TE Itula Mili suffered knee injuries on Sunday; Mili's is not expected to be vanilla.

Seahawks WR Willie Ponder gave No. 83 to WR Deion Branch without payment of any kind; perhaps Ponder is hoping for some good karma, since someone will have to be cut to make room for Deion.

The white jerseys are back out for the Steelers.

Bears QB Rex Grossman nearly doubled his career NFL touchdown pass total on Sunday.

POSTED 11:52 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

T.O. OUT 2-TO-4 WEEKS WITH BROKEN HAND

Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens said during a post-game press conference aired on NFLN that he has a broken hand.

Owens said that he will undergo surgery on Monday, and will miss 2-to-4 weeks.

The receiver said that he broke his ring finger on his right hand.

The Cowboys are off next week, and they travel to Tennessee on October 1. In precisely three weeks, the Cowboys will head to Philadelphia for Owens' return visit with the Eagles, for whom he played in 2004 and 2005.

POSTED 11:11 p.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:37 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

UPSHAW'S PROHIBITION ON CONTACT A BAD IDEA?

In our discussions and e-mail correspondence with league insiders regarding the news that NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw wants to prevent all NFLPA-certified agents from having any contact with college players until their NCAA eligibility has expired, the reaction has been identical -- and unequivocal.

It's a bad idea.

(For the record, we're not so sure what we think about the proposal. It's a notion that we previously floated, but we'll admit that the information we picked up today has prompted us to reconsider our position.)

The argument is that, as an initial matter, the guys who give college players money are still going to give them money even if there's a rule preventing any contact. Said one league insider, "So, if agents and players are currently breaking the rules, do you mean to tell me they will follow the rules about not talking to each other?"

In contrast, the guys who follow the rules regarding the prohibition of payment to players will likewise honor any rule prohibiting contact, making it even harder for them to get a fair shot at recruiting the player.

Moreover, by preventing any contact between agents and players until January of a given draft year, there will be little time for the player to make an informed decision, even if no one has been contacting and/or paying them in violation of the rules. With the scouting combine less than two months away, it's critical that the player get into all-star games and a pre-draft workout program, which are some of the primary duties of the agent.

Thus, with time of the essence, the agents who have an "in" with certain college coaches (e.g., Tom Condon at Boston College and Neil Cornrich at Iowa) will be more likely to get the players. Said one insider, "All this does is allow well-connected agents an easier time in recruiting. [USC coach] Pete Carroll's buddies will be able to come on to campus uncontested. It will also enable more arrangements such as [Mike] Ornstein and [Joel] Segal. Ornstein does not work for Segal like a runner, so he does not have to follow the NFLPA's rules as a runner would."

So the better course, per one league insider, is for colleges and the union not to wall off college players from agents, but to properly educate them on how to go about gathering information pertinent to the eventual decision-making process. And if players don't want to be contacted by agents until their college careers are over, they can refuse to answer the phone; long gone are the days when a person answered his phone and didn't know who was on the other line. If a player sees "Segal Joel" or "Poston Kevin" or even "Black Tank" on the Caller ID and the player isn't interested in talking to any of them until January, the player doesn't have to answer the phone.

And, as we explained earlier on Sunday, a rule prohibiting NFLPA-certified agents from contacting college players would not have prevented the situation that has unfolded regarding Saints running back Reggie Bush. Why? Because Bush allegedly got money not from football agents but from marketing agents, who currently fall beyond the scope of the NFLPA regulation.

Our guess? Although Upshaw's personal agent, Tom Condon, would be one of the potential beneficiaries of a rule preventing contact with players prior to the expiration of their eligibility, more than enough influential agents will make the case to Upshaw that it's not the best way to clean up the system.

LIVE BLOG TOMORROW NIGHT

Thanks again to all of the readers who made their preferences known regarding whether we should live blog the Redskins-Cowboys or Steelers-Jaguars game. The results were close, with just a handful of additional votes for the Monday night game.

Monday night it is, even though we had hoped to do both games. Unfortunately, family commitments and "day job" homework got in the way.

So join us on Monday night beginning at 8-ish for a continuous stream of observations and wise-ass comments regarding the game and the coverage thereof.

SUNDAY NIGHT ONE-LINERS

Andrea Kremer of NBC reports that T.O. is in the locker room getting his head X-rayed.

The Freak could be getting his rehab on with a knee injury that sure looked to be a bad one.

Rams LT Orlando Pace suffered a concussion on Sunday -- if it makes him forget that the Rams lost to the 49ers, he won't mind it.

Broncos QB Jake Plummer was booed on Sunday. (They actually weren't booing Jake -- they were chanting "you suck real, real bad.")

The Broncos didn't commit a penalty for the first time since John Elway's rookie season.

Here's another reason to hate Peyton Manning.

The Falcons rushed for a franchise record 306 yards against Tampa on Sunday.

It was a record for the Bucs, too.

Chargers RB LaDainian Tomlinson has tied WR Lance Alworth for the all-time franchise touchdown record, with 83.

Raiders DT Warren Sapp can't understand why WR Jerry Porter isn't on the field: "Ray Charles can see that he can play."

Suit against Reggie Bush and company is expected to be filed within 30 days.

POSTED 5:04 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

PLAX SAYS ON AIR: "GET THAT SH-T OUT OF HERE!"

After catching the game-winning touchdown reception on a beautiful floater from Eli Manning, Giants receiver Plaxico Burress threw the ball into the stands, tore off his helmet, and yelled "Get that sh-t out of here! Get that sh-t out of here!"

The expletive was the exclamation point on a stirring come-from-behind win by a Giants team that was facing a disastrous start to a promising season.

For the Eagles, the team's failure to put the game away during a statistically lopsided first half will surely be the focal point of local criticism.

POSTED 4:43 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

CHILDRESS FIRST VIKES COACH TO START 2-0

Brad Childress became the first coach in Vikings history to begin his career by winning his first two games after the Vikings downed the Panthers 16-13 in overtime on Sunday. The former offensive coordinator of the Eagles accomplished the feat without scoring an offensive touchdown.

And the win came despite a dominating performance by the Panthers defense, which featured defensive end Julius Peppers constantly harassing Minnesota quarterback Brad Johnson. Peppers also blocked a field goal in the third quarter. Carolina converted the turnover into a three-pointer of its own.

Peppers finished with six tackles, two assists, and three sacks.

Minnesota tied the game at 13 in the fourth quarter after Panthers punt returner Chris Gamble threw an ill-advised lateral, which was recovered by the Vikings. On fourth down and facing another field goal try, Childress called a fake -- and kicker Ryan Longwell threw a touchdown pass to tight end Richard Owens.

The Panthers won the toss to start the fifth quarter but stalled quickly. The Vikings, putting together their best drive since their first possession of the game, worked the ball into the shadow of the end zone, thanks to a nifty catch and run by receiver Troy Williamson and a long run by tailback Chester Taylor. On third and goal from the one, the Vikings opted to try the field goal, which wasn't blocked -- and wasn't faked.

Taylor rushed for 113 yards on 24 carries. Williamson had six catches for 102 yards.

POSTED 4:25 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

OVERTIME, TIMES TWO

On a Sunday afternoon with not many close games, two of them ended up in extra time.

The Vikings and Panthers entered the fifth quarter deadlocked at 13, and the Giants rallied from a 24-7 deficit to tie the game and force extra play in Philly.

Early in overtime in Minnesota, the Vikes were robbed of a fumble recovery on the Carolina 30 when referee Bill Levy whipped out the tuck rule to reverse the finding that Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme had dropped the ball. Delhomme's arm technically was moving forward, but there's no way that he was trying to throw the ball -- he was merely trying to avoid getting it knocked out of his hand.

Stay tuned.

POSTED 3:12 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

PLAX TAKES ON PETITGOUT

A dysfunctional Giants locker room figures to become even more muddled after receiver Plaxico Burress was caught on camera jawing with tackle Luke Petitgout during the first half of the team's game at Philly, during which the Giants offensive line allowed five sacks of quarterback Eli Manning.

The Giants, in our assessment, are a team with too many strong but dissimilar personalities, and they'll never fully develop as a "team" until someone provides clear, cohesive leadership.

That someone should, in theory, be quarterback Eli Manning. But he's too quiet and too vanilla to command a team that features guys like Burress and Michael Strahan and Tiki Barber.

Meanwhile, the Giants are getting pounded 24-7 as of this posting, and if the score holds they'll be two full games behind the Eagles in the NFC East.

POSTED 12:18 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 12:29 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

UPSHAW WANTS TO BAN AGENTS FROM TALKING TO COLLEGE PLAYERS

In the wake of a detailed report containing strong evidence that Saints running back Reggie Bush received payments and other benefits from prospective marketing agents, NFLPA executive director Gene Upshaw wants to ban agents from having any contact with college players before their NCAA eligibility expires, according to Jay Glazer of FOX.

We applaud the move, especially since we've called for this specific measure in the past. The only problem, however, is that such a change wouldn't have prevented the situation in which Bush finds himself because he allegedly received money not from NFLPA-certified agents but from marketing agents, who are not regulated in any way by the union that Upshaw leads.

So Upshaw, as we've recently explained, also needs to find a way to bring marketing agents within the purview of union regulation. Otherwise, any effort to change the rules as to agents will do nothing to prevent further problems like those in which Bush now finds himself.

CASSERLY IS PRETTY GOOD

We've made a minor alteration to our pregame viewing habits. We now watch the first hour of the ESPN show, and then split screen for the FOX and CBS pregame shows.

So we had a chance to catch for the first time Charley Casserly's insider segment on CBS. And it was actually pretty good.

Not just because Charley combed and/or washed his hair. His delivery was smooth and natural, and the information was intriguing.

With that said, we don't buy Casserly's insistence that the decision of his former employer to pass on tailback Reggie Bush had nothing to do with the allegations of payments and benefits received by Bush and family while he was still playing for USC. We've heard on multiple occasions from solid sources that the powers-that-be in Houston decided that Bush wasn't telling the truth about the situation in his comments to the team, and that the perception that he wasn't being truthful was indeed a factor.

Of course it was. How could it not be? It might not have been the determining factor (although we tend to think it was) but the question of whether they think the guy who would have been the face of the franchise might not be trustworthy is definitely something that they considered.

If they truly didn't, then they're truly stoopid.

POSTED 11:41 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 12:18 p.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

WESTBROOK WILL START

ESPN's Sal Paolantonio reports that Eagles running back Brian Westbrook will start on Sunday against the Giants.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

There are plenty of coaching subplots in the Lions-Bears contest.

The Ravens don't want to talk about shutting out the Raiders (hell, we think they'll find a way to make them score negative points).

Falcons DE John Abraham is out for Sunday.

Vikings DB Dwight Smith gets his first start with the team.

Jay Glazer of FOX says that Chiefs QB Trent Green thinks that Bengals DE Robert Geathers could have pulled up.

Bob Glauber of Newsday reports that a Patriots player told WR Deion Branch shortly before the season that the team would pay him a fair contract if he fired his agents.

POSTED 11:11 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 11:36 a.m. EDT, September 17, 2006

WESTBROOK GAME-TIME DECISION

Despite being listed as "probable" for Sunday's game against the Giants (which officially means that there is a virtual certainty that the player will be available for normal duty, Eagles running back Brian Westbrook is a game-time decision, according to Sal Paolantonio of ESPN.

Westbrook is suffering some knee inflammation due to orthotics worn to deal with a foot problem. Westbrook was out on the field moments ago with G.M. Tom Heckert and team president Joe Banner, and Westbrook's status clearly is now questionable, at best.

SUNDAY MORNING ONE-LINERS

Mort says that Pats QB Tom Brady told Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck via text message that WR Deion Branch is a special player (as long as he's not blinded by the glare from Hasselbeck's head).

Mort says that Raiders LT Tony Mandarich likely will be moving to guard when he comes back.

Mort also says that WR Jerry Porter won't play until he shows a better attitude or until injuries to other receivers necessitate it.

More from Mort -- Chiefs QB Trent Green wants to come back after the bye, but the doctors might disagree.

K-Rob will be getting rides to and from work in Green Bay; but how many "second chances" does one guy get?

Classic opening question for the Ted Thompson press conference after K-Rob was signed: "Ted, what if he kills somebody in this state?"

The Jags get extra geeked for the Steelers.

Last year's trendy preseason Super Bowl pick that didn't pan out hosts this year's trendy preseason Super Bowl pick that hasn't panned out.

The Bucs stunk it up in Week One -- in 2002, which by the way ended up in a Super Bowl title.

The Falcons cut rookie DT Tommy Jackson so that they could activate FB Kevin Dudley.

Vikings QB Brad Johnson left FedEx Field on Monday night wearing his old Redskins jersey; he couldn't wear his Vikings jersey because he sweats like Sumner Redstone at a Scientologists convention.

Minnesota RB Chester Taylor's 31 carries on Monday night were the most by a Viking in 14 seasons.

POSTED 11:28 p.m. EDT; UPDATED 11:50 p.m. EDT, September 16, 2006

STEVE SMITH STAYS HOME

Panthers receiver Steve Smith stayed in Charlotte as his team made the trek to Minnesota for a Week Two matchup with the Vikings.

Smith has been dogged by hamstring problems since early in training camp. Some league insiders are suspicious about a potential connection between Smith's injuries and a contract that pays him far less than other high-end receivers. In June, published reports indicated that the Panthers and Smith were working on an extension, but nothing has materialized to date.

Per the AP, Drew Carter and Keary Colbert are expected to split time across from starter Keyshawn Johnson.

DEION WON'T DEBUT ON SUNDAY

The Seahawks have decided not to activate receiver Deion Branch for Sunday's home opener against the Cardinals. Per the AP, the team did not release a player from its 53-man roster, a prerequisite to making Branch eligible to play.

Branch was acquired on Monday from the Patriots for a first-round selection in the 2007 draft. He later signed a six-year, $39 million contract. The NFL gave the Seahawks a two-week roster exemption, allowing Branch to get up to speed without forcing the team to cut another player.

Branch is taking a crash course in the Seahawks' offense, a West Coast attack that fellow newcomer Nate Burleson has had difficulty learning. And he arrived in April.

Meanwhile, Branch has been doing his best to reduce expectations in his first season with the Seahawks. Said Branch earlier in the week: "I hope everyone is not looking at me like, 'Hey, this guy is the next thing that's going to be [starring]. . . . I'm just a piece to the puzzle."

Possible translation: "Even though I'm now the seventh highest-paid receiver in the NFL, I sure hope no one expects me to play like the seventh best."

Sorry, Deion. Now that you got your money, it's time to step it up and, say, gain more than 1,000 yards receiving in one season for the first time in your career.

POSTED 7:32 p.m. EDT, September 16, 2006

LEN THROWS ANOTHER BONE TO SEGAL

At a time when the Reggie Bush camp is reeling from a chapter-and-verse report outlining numerous apparent instances in which Bush and/or his family members received payments or other benefits in violation of NCAA rules, one of his agent's best pals in media circles is re-shuffling the top of the 2006 draft and proclaiming that, if the draft were held today, the Houston Texans would pounce on the 2005 Heisman winner.

Along the way, ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli contends that the only reason for Houston's decision to take defensive end Mario Williams over Bush was "signability," a reference to the perception that Segal wouldn't do a reasonable deal before the draft. But the decision was more complex than that. Sure, there's a school of thought that the team decided as a football matter that Williams would be more valuable to the long-term prospects of the franchise than Bush, a whirling dervish who doesn't fit well in the Denver/Houston one-cut rushing attack. The tipping point for the Texans, however, was the manner in which Bush handled the initial wave of negative press resulting from his family's rent-free housing arrangements in San Diego.

Bush, as we've heard in the past, blew off the Texans for a couple of days when they tried to reach him to discuss the reports. When Bush finally talked with the powers-that-be in Houston, they concluded that he was speaking with forked tongue, and they decided that they didn't want him to be the face of the franchise for the next decade.

So if, as Len suggests, the draft were being held today, the decision would be the same.

Especially in light of Thursday night's report making a strong case for the proposition that Bush will eventually be required to pack up his Heisman and mail it to Uncle Rico in Nashville.

Meanwhile, the notion that Bush will be a superior performer based on one regular season game borders on the goofy. Bush racked up 141 all-purpose yards against a poor Browns team; Williams was stifled by the Eagles. Of course, Len didn't mention that point, since it would have undermined his effort to throw out some positive press for Bush (and Segal) at a time when Bush's image is taking another hit.

POSTED 5:45 p.m. EDT, September 16, 2006

STERLING SHARPE IS A MORON

Now that Sterling Sharpe spends less time TALKING REALLY, REALLY LOUD, it's easier to pay attention to what he actually says.

In hindsight, it might make more sense for him to talk really, really loud.

During a discussion with NBC's Football Night in America crew (sans Jerome Bettis), which curiously occurred on a football afternoon in South Bend, Sharpe cautioned that the presumptive passing-game replacement for Deion Branch in New England, tight end Ben Watson, might be a restricted free agent after the 2006 season.

Sterling, Watson is under contract through 2007. And 2008. AND 2009.

The 2004 first-rounder signed a six-year deal. In lieu of continuing a rookie holdout, Watson parted ways with agent Tom Condon (who refused to be a party to a deal of that length for a guy taken at the bottom of round one) and hired an agent who would recommend that Watson sign the deal.

Sure, Watson might want more money at some point, and could stage a $14,000-per-day training camp holdout. But restricted free agency -- or unrestricted free agency, for that matter -- isn't in the cards for Watson until March of 2010.

When in the world are these networks going to hire guys who won't spout off without knowing the facts or, even better, will make an effort to actually know the facts?

POSTED 10:41 a.m. EDT; LAST UPDATED 1:30 p.m. EDT, September 16, 2006

FOLEY TO COP: "YOU'RE TRYING TO END MY CAREER"

Chargers linebacker Steve Foley reportedly told the off-duty officer who shot him at least three times in the lower body, "You're trying to end my career, man," according to a police report obtained by the Associated Press.

After the first round entered his leg, Foley said to the cop, "You shot me in the knee." According to the report, Foley then continued to approach the officer, who shot several more times.

Foley is still hospitalized in fair condition, nearly two weeks after the shooting. He has declined to speak to authorities, so it's possible that his version of the events will conflict with the officer's.

Then again, the fact that Foley's blood alcohol concentration was 0.233 might have impaired his ability to process the events and recall them accurately.

We continue to believe that this entire episode was and is a mess. The cop, who was not in uniform and in an unmarked car, had no business engaging Foley so far out of his jurisdiction and without backup. The fact that Foley was legally drunk (at 0.233, we think the technical term is "blotto") doesn't help his cause. And the fugitive status of the woman who was with Foley makes us wonder whether she drove Foley's car at the cop knowing full well that, if he really was a cop, she'd be going away for a long time.

Though we believe that the cop was clearly in the wrong (even if he didn't have evil motives), Foley set the entire process in motion by climbing behind the wheel of a car after he'd clearly had too much to drink.

Based on standard blood alcohol charts, for a 265-pound guy to have a BAC of 0.233, he had to have consumed more than 20 drinks. Anyone who would drive a car after drinking so much deserves little or no sympathy. Really, the only difference between Foley and Rams defensive lineman Leonard Little is that Foley's escapade landed him in a hospital; Little's put an innocent woman in a casket.

SPRINT LAUNCHES NEW VIDEO NETWORK

Our friends at Sprint continue to expand the content available exclusively on Sprint and Nextel cell phones. Sprint's new Power View feature will provide customers with roughly 25 minutes per day of original segments on sports, entertainment, and news.

Among the offerings are NFL Game Center, hosted by James Brown of CBS. All of the programming is original content produced by Sprint.

And the service is (you guessed it) free for Sprint Vision and Power Vision subscribers.

Meanwhile, now that Florio Jr. is officially ten, he'll be soon getting a Sprint phone of his own -- especially since Sprint also provides a Family Locator feature, which allows the whereabouts of the phone (and the kid) to be monitored via GPS.

PFT'S FANTASY FORAY

As we spend more time focusing our content on the ever-growing world of fantasy football via the Fantasy PodCasts with Charch of Fanball.com and the PFT Fantasy Mill powered by Fanball.com, yours truly decided that it would be a good idea to actually field a fantasy team.

So the Poobah and eleven family members have formed a league that launches on Sunday. And we'll be paying particular attention this weekend to the exploits of Donovan McNabb, LaDainian Tomlinson, Chester Taylor, Donte' Stallworth, Troy Williamson, Kellen Winslow, Jeff Wilkins, and the vaunted New Orleans Saints defense.

By the way, it would be just awful if an off-duty police officer happens to put a few rounds on Saturday night into Kurt Warner, Shaun Alexander, Warrick Dunn, Terrell Owens, Plaxico Burress, Heath Miller, David Akers, and/or every member of the Dolphins starting defense.

WEEK TWO FANTASY PICKS AND PUNKS

It's our weekly look at some players that we think you should consider using -- and avoiding -- when submitting your final fantasy rosters. Much of our information in this regard comes from Paul Charchian of Fanball.com, who offered up picks and punks at several different key positions during our Friday Fantasy PodCast.

First, the picks:

Drew Brees, QB, Saints: The Saints have come a long way since that 45-3 thrashing they suffered at Lambeau last year.

Daunte Culpepper, QB Dolphins: Charch says that 'Pep is traditionally better at home; also, the Bills' secondary is in shambles.

Chester Taylor, RB, Vikings: He got 31 carries last week, and the Panthers were gashed by the Falcons.

Jamal Lewis, RB, Ravens: The former no-brainer fantasy pick is back on a hot streak, especially with the pathetic Raiders coming to town.

Isaac Bruce, WR, Rams: Though the clock is ticking on Ike's career, he'll run wild against the lowly Niners' defense.

Donte' Stallworth, WR, Eagles: Last week wasn't a fluke. As Charch observes, Stallworth's struggles with the Saints might have been the result of having a quarterback who sucked.

Ravens defense: Rejuvenated by a quarterback who can actually lead the offense into the end zone, this unit could be on its way back to the top of the heap in the league.

Next, the punks:

Jake Delhomme: With Steve Smith out and the Vikings new Tampa 2 defense holding the 'Skins well-hyped new offense under 20 points on Monday night, it will be another long day for the Panthers.

Chad Pennington, QB, Jets: The Pats aren't the Titans.

Rex Grossman, QB, Bears: Plenty of league insiders are convinced that the Lions' defense is for real.

Larry Johnson, RB, Chiefs: With Trent Green still telling his little birdie named Ronnie that he got knocked the f--k out last week, the Broncos will be focused on bottling up Johnson. Charch says that five of Johnson's handoffs from Damon Huard were for one yard or less, and half went for negative yardage.

Randy Moss, WR, Raiders: O how the mighty have fallen.

Roy Williams, WR, Lions: Williams guarantees that the Lions will beat the Bears; we guarantee that, if they do, it won't be because of him.

Buccaneers defense: See Randy Moss.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON ONE-LINERS

Gee, if we didn't know better, we'd think Joel Segal is representing Charles Rogers.

The Jags don't believe that Big Ben is questionable to play on Monday night.

Less than 1,000 season tickets are available for the 2006 Saints.

Sal Paolantonio of ESPN.com explains that the Eagles realize the importance of beating the Giants.

The NCAA's investigation regarding the Bush affair is apparently going nowhere; said the organization in a statement on Friday, “Now that certain individuals have spoken publicly, we now hope they will speak with the NCAA."

New Era Sports and Entertainment plans to file suit against Reggie Bush for breach of contract and fraud within the next few weeks.

Cards DT Darnell Dockett was fined $7,500 for a late hit on 49ers QB Alex Smith.

Ditto for Lions LB Ernie Sims, who also was flagged for popping Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck after a slide.

The Bears opted to wear white at home on Sunday to beat the heat at Soldier Field; the thermometer isn't expected to reach 80.

Bears WR Mark Bradley is ready to play after reconstructive knee surgery in 2005.

Bengals DT Sam Adams (knee) is probable, but LT Levi Jones and WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh have been downgraded to questionable.

NFLPA chief Gene Upshaw needs to be more anxious to clean the drugs out of the sport, or the sport will someday fall back behind baseball in overall popularity.

Colts coach Tony Dungy thinks the Texans did the right thing by taking DE Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. (Hey, Tony -- which one would you have taken?)

Broncos WR Rod Smith had some strong words regarding his team's offensive attack.

Denver is trying to figure out Crazy Joe Davola.

The Big Show is pulling a Charlie Brown regarding whether WR Deion Branch will play on Sunday.

Burning Question No. 1 for the Ravens: Who'll cover Randy Moss? Burning Question No. 2 for the Ravens: Does it matter anymore?

Pats LB Tedy Bruschi speaks for the first time since breaking his wrist.

Lions TE Casey FitzSimmons has signed a four-year contract extension.

Malcom in the Middle is saying all the right things about not being hired by the Packers; just once, we'd love to hear one of these guys say something like, "They didn't think I was good enough for the job, so f--k them."

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