WEEK FOURTEEN (AND 1/16th)

Okay.  Okay.  Okay. . . . Okay.  We know we are way too late with the Power Rankings, and for that we are sincerely sorry.  (We don't really mean it, but as we've seen with other high-profile apologies of late, sincerity doesn't really matter.)

We're out of time and we need to get these done, so instead of using three words or less we've restricted the explanations to one word.  But to make that one word count, we've enlisted the help of the sophisticated and worldly Tiki Barber, who admitted in a recent SI interview that he has a "philharmonic in his head." 

[Editor's note:  Tiki Barber didn't actually assist us with these.]

1.  Chargers (11-2):  Transcendent.

2.  Bears (11-2):  Replevin.

3.  Saints (9-4):  Apotheosized.

4.  Ravens (10-3):  Obstructionists.

5.  Colts (10-3):  Osmosis.

6.  Cowboys (8-5):  Desperadoes.

7.  Patriots (9-4):  Bamboozled.

8.  Bengals  (8-5):  Reformatoriests.

9.  Jaguars (8-5):  Mercurial.

10.  Titans (6-7):  Tekulvian.

11.  Seahawks (8-6):  Ne'er-do-wells.

12.  Jets (7-6):  Predeveloped.

13.  Chiefs (7-6):  Disconsolateness.

14.  Broncos (7-6):  Dispensation.

15.  Eagles (7-6):  Requiescence.

16.  Panthers (7-6):  Unpropitious.

17.  Steelers (6-7):  Porcine.

18.  Falcons (7-6):  Peripatetic.

19.  Giants (7-6):  Resplendent.

20.  Dolphins (6-7):  Flim-flammery.

21.  49ers (6-8):  Sprightly.

22.  Bills (6-7):  Inconspicuous.

23.  Vikings (6-7):  Languorous.

24.  Rams (5-8):  Wistfulness.

25.  Packers (5-8):  Superannuated.

26.  Redskins (4-9):  Profligate.

 27.  Texans (4-9):  Lamentations.

28.  Browns (4-9):  Enfeebled.

29.  Cardinals (4-9):  Superfluous.

  30.  Buccaneers (3-10):  Malcontented.

31.  Raiders (2-11):  Subjugated.

32.  Lions (2-11):  Tyrannized.